Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Find your sea legs and sail on the seven seas in the BESH Pearl

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

Argh, and be welcome to our new pirate Fred. Be finding yourself a parrot and a wooden leg and hop on board for the trip of a lifetime. Argh.
If ye be new and wantin' to join our motley crew, be filling in the BESHtionnaire application below. Argh.

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

That's a "c", right there...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

George Michael. He'd be off the drugs and on the straight and narrow ('scuse pun) if we ever met...

8. Lesbian crush?

9. What are your views on camping?

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.

Yes I've made them do a pregnancy test. GP did one last week but I'd rather they double check since I know sometimes ectopic show up later. My Mum also had an ectopic. Shit I hope it's not...

Surgical doc think it's probably not appendicitis, ?gall stones. Staying in overnight, scan tomorrow. Blah. Bored already.

You know the drill faithy. If you're bored, you're getting better (at least that's what I tell 'em when I'm being mithered). if it is appendicitis, at least it's a relatively easy cure to your weeks of poorlyness? Am I being in any way comforting? Thought not. Sorry.

Northey it sounds like its taken ages for your docs to get you on clomid. Are you unkeen? I think I sound like you- PCOS, non existent cycles etc etc. I bypassed metformin, but clomid and ov drilling did nothing for me. First cycle clomid after drilling - 35 day cycle with 14 day LP, followed by 35, 35, 34 day cycles. Admittedly, no diffedness, but I'm definitely in a better position. Although I'm on my second to last clomid course. Sob.

I'm mortified that it might be gallstones. I'm 30! Tbh I can't believe this warrants a bed! I've been living with it for 2 weeks! Ok, admittedly, it's a bit painful but it's been bearable....loopy!
When's your next appointment norf?

Plague of gall stones! Poor fee, I can't believe all the stuff being piled on you at the moment. Have you got phone charger, clean pants and toothbrush? I guess MSB is sorting yoU out.

So practical norf. Yes I threw some stuff ln a bag when l was waiting for MSB to pick me up. Fortunately I know what to pack! Have got the telly set up. Sent MSB home, he'd only been back since work for five mins and needed to eat bless him. Happily have been given pain relief now :)

Next appointment is end of April. hilarity, the whole failure to move me on to clomid thing is a big source of RAGE for me. They were meant to do it in December, then some imbecile, imbecile woman failed to understand what I was actually there for, and I went all meek and bizarre and politely said that oh no, April would be fine [hmmm] and then went away and failed to menstruate for nearly three months. Don't even start me on this rant. It goes on for pages and is really boring to everyone except me :o

Oh, I can rant about shitty cycles allll day. And luff it when others can join in. Obviously, all real life friends have 28day, perfect,baby making cycles, natch. I'm dreading running, out of the clomid. I suspect I'll go bad to the bad old days of a yearly period. V tedious.

When's clinic? We'll all talk to you sternly before to make sure you come away with the drugs.

Rogue comma there. I blame the rum.

I meant when at the end of April- we'll bully encourage you

We'll practice with you: I'm not leaving without the clomid!

Last week of April. Can't remember date and am too lazy to get out of my hammock and look it up. But I keep meaning to phone and ask about cancellations in the hope of getting an earlier date. But I will tell you before I go, and let you brace me with rum and firm words.

Isn't it so fucking UNFAIR that in just one of my average cycles, other people will have had 3-4 goes at conceiving? And 3-4 breaks from the relentless sechs as well. It is so soul destroying just having to plug away for months, never knowing when the droid might show up and give you a breather.

What has clomid done to your cycles?

And yes, basically my plan next time is to look so thoroughly and politely immovable that they give me what I want to get me out of there.

I came off the pill sometime in 2009. I have no idea when now. First period showed its face late 2010/early 2011. Did 3 clomid cycles with provera which actually melted my brain. Just too much, when to test, is it a false negative, if I take provera now will my as yet unrecognised baby end up with 3 arms and indeterminate gender. Etc etc.

Then got drilled in aug 2011, had 40-68 day cycles for a few months, then started clomid around November. Since then things have settled down and appear to be regular. I suppose one positive is that the horror of cd1 is somewhat mitigated by the joy/satisfaction/relief that things continue to work. A very pale, but silver nonetheless, lining to the droidal cloud.

[screeches in with a bunch of grapes for the patient]

Can't stop me hearties, I've got to work on this bloody assignment (due in next Friday and I've only written 500 words [eek]).

Faithy, sorry you are still so poorly and definite kicks for stones of all varieties. HWHNN had a kidney stone last year and was in agony with it. Poor love.

So weird, they've moved me to a ward I used to work on! But I've made a friend :) and I'm watching The Apprentice.
thoroughly polite and immovable - love it norf!

It must almost feel like home

The Apprentice. Very amusing. Was sure the girls would win- have lost a bet with ghj now.

If you used to work there faith, you must know where to find the secret stash of crappy real life mags and where to make toast?

Gah I went out for dinner with my Mum and my sister and forgot to record The Apprentice. Had a lovely evening out though :)

Evening ladies. I mean, arghha, me hearties (or something). I'm just back from holiday, and having spent 10 days not really thinking about ttc (my first cycle of not charting in a year) it feels weird to be back here. I think I will try to spend a bit less time here in future, but will catch up with the thread when I have shaken off the jetlag.

I see from the handful of posts I read that Faithy is in hospital. Poor you

That is true flamey, I do. Sadly norf I hated it on here! Ah well, they will have to be nice to me...
I watched The Apprentice love having tv here but you're fired make me laugh too much. Abdo pain + laughter = ouch!
Going to try to sleep in blackpool illuminations

euro! Lovely to see you back. Not that I want to thwart your resolution by instantly asking lots of questions, but how was holiday?

The holiday was lovely - bike rides, snorkel trips, jungle treks, etc so I didn't have much time to mope and think. Which is good, as I was in a bit of a state about the impending IVF before we left. I did feel ovulation as we were waiting for the plane home though, and invited KFZK to join the mile high club with me, but he wasn't game. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.

X posts euro nice to have you back :) even if less than before hope the holiday was fun.
Thanks for the daffs :)
I have just had extra pain relief because I'm so uncomfortable that I couldn't get over the counter so feel justified for being here!

God, what a LOSER. :o Holidau sounds epicmazing, particularly the jungle treks.

How are you feeling about ivf now? Are you going to go for it next cycle, or give it a bit of a longer break?

(I'm not thinking about it for now)

TBF, his actual words were "not in an economy class toilet". We will just have to upgrade next time. He is obviously a mile high snob.