Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

[Curlylox]

Over here everyone

My beta result from Friday was 110. I didn't even bother getting another blood test done today because a urine test was negative. I couldn't be bothered with the 40 minute car trip with my 3 year old DS in tow, when there's a big storm going on, and I just know it's the tail end of a the miscarriage. I just wish I hadn't got my hopes up, but I'm okay with it.

Seems to me that the sperm and egg are meeting, and that my body doesn't let the baby go easy, so I think it is just a matter of the right egg.I feel confident that I don't need progesterone.

Right now I'm happy I don't have to worry about an ectopic or molar pregnancy. I spoke to the doctor on the phone, and he's pretty sure it is just the end of my miscarriage. I had an appointment with my usual doctor, but she couldn't get into the surgery as she'd had storm damage. I'm okay with that, I don't think there's anything to discuss.

I'm not really sure if I'll keep ttc. I'm just going to take some time to get back to normal. Then see how I'll feel. Who knows how long it will take to ovulate again?

Gum, really sorry to hear how things have panned out. it's so hard when you are lurching between hope/acceptance/logic/wishing for a miracle.

I felt very much like you after my ERPC in April.....could I put myself through it all again? Why not embrace the life I have and cherish my one child....but here I am again, on the 2ww!
I had my first period 5 weeks after ERPC and I tried again from day 9 of that fresh cycle. I didn't do OPK and managed to go on holiday to France without my Duo Fertility sensor right at the critical time and so I just guessed that I would ovulate....yet more hoping for the best!

take care of yourself
Lucky x

Sorry gum - those hormones are rough. I'm never sure if i'm imagining it or not as no bfgs but I feel I'm having chemical pregnancy every time we SWI and wow the mood swings. Yours sounds really drawn out. It's hard enough just for what it is without your body throwing in all these extra hormones.

I'm trying to quit coffee - I drink a lot, around a whole 6-cup expresso pot a day - and having migraines. Today have just had tea. But those hormones - should I be lucky enough to conceive THATs when I'll need the coffee as I'll be knackered. Nature doesn't make it easy.

You are all a brave lot Mia'smummy hang in there
x

Know what you mean about the caffeine, somewhere. I used to drink 7 cups of tea a day. When I stopped I had massive withdrawal (similar to flu) for days until I realised I wasn't ill and made a cup of tea. Felt better within minutes. So - switched 1 cup per day to decaf and now am caffeine free. A less painful approach altogether!

Gum Dad rang today about the storm - it's huge, isn't it? Don't blame you for not making that journey. We're all waterlogged here. A month of rainfall in one day, yesterday. What's going on? You sound very pragmatic and grounded about what's happened and that's got to be a good thing. Big hug ((())) x

Hi everyone. Yes, HUGE,HUGE,storm going on here. We've had a couple of days of it,a lull yesterday, but it's back on again today. We may even close the schools (yippee! a day at home!). And the forecast is for more in the next 3-4 days.I'd be quite happy to just stay inside next to the fire with my knitting and cups of tea!

I think I might drink too many cuppas too. I have one or two when I get up, then one when I get to school, one at morning tea,and sometimes one at lunch and one after work...whoa! That's a lot! I'd best get back to drinking herbals. Although a lady on another site was saying she'd heard that drinking caffinated tea was actually good for fertility. I don't know...I think it's probably best not to be addicted to any stimulants.

Lol, I just don't know what to do. I think I have a body that is slow to react. I don't recall having sore breasts and lingering symptoms after both the ERCPs, but that's probably because everything was removed. The doc did see something in the uterus, so there's probably a little bit left behind, and it might not settle til I have another period.But then again, I may not ovulate whilst there's hcg in my system. I still have sore breasts, but I think they are lessening.It's hard to tell, I've pushed on them so much to check, that I've probably caused bruising

In all honesty, I'm wavering between, "time to move on" and"I need to keep trying for this dream, I know I'm meant to have one more". It's a kind of madness that has me in its grip! Of course, I may not get much of a choice, after the last miscarriage, it took months to get a period. So, I have resolved to get back to looking after myself ( the miscarriage and subsequent rollercoaster ride has seen me eating many of the wrong foods, and far too much chocolate and caffeine). I'm thinking of taking the DHEA again (but will wait til my boobs don't hurt anymore,just in case) and probably vitex to even out my hormones. So I suppose I'm not exactly giving up. Perhaps I'll give myself til November when I turn 46.

How are you feeling? Fireflies are you still here? Or has your little baby greeted you earthside?

Can't wait to hear all about it. I wish I could have cuddles of your new babies.They'll have to be virtual.

Gum you're having such a stormy time at the moment! I hope the weather improves soon and you have some answers on what your body's up to too. It's difficult, isn't it? There's such conflicting advice out there, once there's been a successful SME scenario medicine is in largely unchartered territory.

I asked my consultant why they don't have better stats/help/studies on pregnancy in the over 40s today, as it is becoming more common. She pointed out that there are very few women in our age group willing to be guinea pigs for new trials using placebos or where half get a certain treatment, half another. Not surprising really. So we are left with a lot of supposition and guess work.

So news? Baby not earthside yet, but on the way. Am 1cm dialated. Woohoo!! I know it doesn't mean too much, but it is a start. Race you to the end line lol (BTW this is a 9lb-er already apparently). Off to take EPO nightcap and heading for bed. Am being spurred on as live poker now on box.

Take care Gum. Hugs and waves to all. Sorry, no good at namechecking these days, but promise to be better once I am a proper grown up, ie parent.

FF xx

Thinking of you Gum.

Fireflies and lol - am on tenderhooks for you!

Hugs to Knicky, Angelgerogie and all.

Morning Not sure I can add much to what has been said already Gum, although I do feel (from your posts) that there is something inside you that will make you carry on with ttc-ing, however painful the process may be. On the caffiene front, I too am a former addict (up to 10 cups of coffee a day). It was after my mmc at 10 weeks (I was still drinking the coffee though hadn't gone off it as I normally do, so I think that reflected the failed pregnancy and not that the caffeine had caused the mc - also no sickness, just sore boobs) that I decided to cup back. Now I have one/two cups of tea a day, one proper coffee, and the rest decaff. Had awful headaches for first week but then all fine. I have found myself slowly slipping back, and now found if I have any stimulants after 7pm ish I struggle to get to sleep.
Fireflies Lol, very excited for you both . It is ds1's birthday today (3!) so I can remember what it felt 3 years ago to be heavily pregnant at this time and how exciting it all felt - weather was lovely then though!
Day of annual leave today and am having a little party for Jacob this afternoon. Hope to get out between showers to try out the new Thomas scooter!
Love to all xxx

Hello all

hopeful big hugs. Been an especially rotten few days for us both. I can understand why you're starting to wonder whether it's time to move on. I sort of feel that I want to give myself till Christmas this year then I need to move on. The rollercoaster of it all seems to be so tough. I just want my life to move on either way. Very frustrating. Big hugs to you.
fireflies 1 cm- you're on your way lovely lady. He/She will be here sooner than you know. I'm thinking of you, and crossing everything that it's a wonderfully smooth, quick labour. Errr - 9lb? Gosh - that baby sounds like it's had a very happy time in your tum! Don't let size worry you - my work colleague had her 10.5lb baby with no interventions at all and it was very quick.
MAM - it's so wonderful to hear that you and your beanie are doing so well. Your journey has been so unbelievably tough, and you've been so brave (although I'm sure you don't feel it nor do you particularly want to be). Keep going my love. You're growing a wonderful person in you and doing it fantastically well.
somewhere 6 cups of espresso a day? Yep, definitely going to be having some caffeine withdrawal there - keep up the tea drinking. I've given up the coffee myself - not sure if it's helping but am willing to try most things to see if it helps.

I'm doing OK, the bleeding has now stopped (yesterday) so it was all very quick. Popped to see the GP yesterday who was useless - it was a locum doctor who ended up telling me anecdotes about a 53 year old woman having a baby, all interesting stuff but really wanted to know what the NHS could do for ME! Will go and see my usual GP in a couple of weeks (ironically off on paternity leave at the mo).

I'm not sure if this is true but I've heard following a m/c or chemical pregnancy, fertility can increase. Does anyone know if this is true? Will be going for it again this month in any case but just wondered whether anyone can shed any light on this?

Hello to italian, lol, diege, angel, lucky and everyone else.

Much love to all xxxx

diege crossed posts - hope your DS has a wonderful day. A Thomas scooter - what a lucky boy! Hope the rain holds off so he can test out his new wheels xxxx

Hi Knicky Just to let you know that, for me at least, I did conceive in the 3 months after my mmc when I think fertility is supposed to increase (I think it was month 2, resulting in the birthday boy). It did take me longer after my second mc though (into my 40s), so I think maybe it's different for everyone/each situation. Hope you're ok and are able to start trying again when it feels right for you. I know I was desperate to get pregnant again by my due date, but of course for most of us here there are so many other factors (not least our own bodies ) that can get in the way of achieving this.

Hi Knicky - yes, I was told by the midwife after my last mc (was that really 5 weeks ago already?), that the post-surge has always been suspected but research last year backed it up. She also said that there was evidence to suggest that pregs conceived in the three months after a mc were less likely to end in mc. Both she and the doctor also said that they saw no reason to wait for another period before trying to conceive as scans would date anyway and there was no time to lose when ancient like me!

Good luck if you do try and take care, so sorry that you're having to go through this x

Thanks diege and twirly. Knew this was the place to ask! It's like having the most knowledgable circle of friends! Sounds like I could be in with another shot this month then. We'll give it a go and see how things pan out. I feel like a lottery win could be easier at the mo, but you never know do you?

Lots of love and thanks again xxx

knicky, I'm sorry for the rough time you've had over the past few days. I haven't read the research, but a friend of mine mc'd at about 6 weeks, then conceived again pretty much straight away, and now has a 2 year old.

gum, what a difficult time you've had, I hope things start to settle down for you now, and everything including the weather, calms down.

looking forward to news from fireflies, hope it's straightforward!

love to miasmum, you are so brave.

Welcome somewhere, the caffeine thing is hard. I'm still drinking about 3 cups of tea a day, but just the one coffee, usually instant, occassionally posher. I've always thought caffeine didn't have much effect on me but have stopped drinking coffee in the evening and I think I'm getting more sleep as a result. I'm thinking best to be properly rested (ha, if only!) when TTC? I don't think I can do night shifts with no caffeine tho, but not back on those til August at the earliest.
No luck for me this month, but by paying more attention to my body, I knew when to expect AF which arrived on time. My cycle is not less than 28 days but can be up to 32, so days past 28 are really hard not knowing what's happening. DH will be away cd 12 - 16, so chances of SME are pretty low, tho possibly better than next month when he's away for practically all of it.

diege, you have inspired me to make an appointment for a smear which is way overdue, so I tried to when I had to take DD to the drs on Mon, only to find they had nothing I could do in the next 3 weeks, and I can't hold more than 3 weeks worth of our rotas in my head, so MUST try again, as the same thing happened last time I wanted to make an appointment & that was in January.

hi to italian, angel, kiwi, twirly, lol, tina, blackcats, lucky, and everyone else. SSx

sparkly just wanted to say I have a hubby who is away a lot too with work (his shifts for the next few months are ridiculous) which is terribly frustrating. I've had to ask him to take annual leave on vital dates in the past few months though this is an impossibility for him now until September. Luckily just checked the calendar and he's on days on my next vital time so may be in luck. Guess what I wanted to say was this TTC is terribly frustrating at the best of times, but made so much harder when hubbies/partners are not around at those all important times. I sometimes feel like I'm wishing my life away to get on to the next month!

Hi there supposed to be working - just dropping in to say my period is on it's seventh day and I'm still getting period pains. is that more like a miscarriage?

caffeine thing going better than expected - have got through the bit that was like flu as you say lolfactor. Managing on just one cup of expresso and about 3-4 cups of tea. Will take the next step down when I get into that post shag, pre test bit.

Interesting about the post-miscarriage surge. hope it helps lots of people on here x

knicky have got my head round your story - sorry to hear about it the post-mc surge thing sounds good xx

Lol runs in to say FF 1 cm? You are SO going to have this baby soon. Hope the birthing pool is free! Hugs and pain relief! xxx

Will post again when I've had a sleep. Actually managed to mow the lawn today (it's not big, honest) but have worn myself out a bit. Just wanted to enjoy the sun before it left us again! Batten down the hatches, Gum xx

lol all very exciting!! Thought of you yesterday afternoon as I was seeing the consultant for the first time, but didn't see anyone in imminent labour...

We had been a little worried about the appointment, but we actually saw the top consultant who helped with Mia's birth, rather the one of her team, and she was lovely. She knew all about Mia and wanted to know how she could best help DH and I deal with this pg. She has noted the dates of Mia's inquest and quite a bit of extra info to help anyone reading my notes. She is also happy to arrange scans whenever I decide I need them, and has already stated she would expect me to want a ELCS, given the circumstances of Mia's EMCS birth. We came out feeling very supported, which was nice.

that's great news miasmummy

MAM lovely to hear that you're being thoroughly taken care of and being supported so well (quite right too).
lol mowing the lawn?? Think it's time to take things a little more easy please.
somewhere not sure if 7 days means a long period or a m/c. Did you do a preg test earlier in the week at all? My bleeding from the weekend all but stopped by Tuesday morning, so it was heavy but only lasted about 36 hours maximum - not like one of my normal periods at all.

knicky, my bleeding was only 2 and a half days, but I think it's still not finished. I had spotting last night, and finally a properly negative test yesterday, without a faint line, so now I think I might start a new cycle. Who knows, it may take a while to have properly emptied uterus.I guess I'll do some opks in about 2 weeks to see if I'm ovulating. I've actually started taking my temperature again, despite saying I'd throw the thermometer away because at least then I've got an indication of what is going on.

Miasmummy, glad to hear you feel supported. I hope the pregnancy is smooth, though I know it won't be easy.

I hope the post miscarriage surge is true too, though it hasn't been my experience to date. However, I'm certainly open to it this time.

Fireflies, any further updates? I'm so, so excited for you. Can't wait to hear about your lovely new baby.

Lol, don't overdo it....you want to have plenty of energy to birth your wee boy. Oh, so exciting!

Hello! Gum at least things are heading back to normal, if that is any consolation at all. I think it's useful to temp, esp at this stage, so you know where you're at. You could always just temp up to ovulation to avoid the awful anxiety in the 2ww perhaps? Re: mc and bleeding, my mc's were also a lot shorter than normal periods, one heavier, one lighter .
Lol, fireflies very excited for you both - will be checking in regularly for signs/contraction news!

I'm also crossing fingers re the post mc surge, definitely hope it is true.

I have an appointment with someone at the hospital to talk through options next week. The last time I saw infertility doc all they did was try and push me towards private IVF (whilst admitting there were no obvious medical issues) so am hoping there may be something else they can do now at least we have conceived naturally. Dunno what but will find out.

My mc was heavier than a normal period and went on for about a week.

Hugs to everyone, knicky/ gum sorry to hear what has happened over last few days, not coming on here much as am trying to get on with things and not obsess about TTC too much.

Hello! Hope everyone is ok. Wondering if silence from our pregnant ladies might be suggestive of anything happening??or not???
Hope those going through sadder, more contemplative times are managing/getting support etc.
Ok here, though getting very worried now for test results on Tuesday evening. They're also testing for hpv (high risk strains) to see if my CIN 1 is cause for concern or not. If present, that's when they might suggest the more invasive treatments. Silly to get so worked up when the resultds are already 'in' so to speak, but I am a worrier .
Hope the weather is better than here where people are...what a summer!