Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

[Curlylox]

Over here everyone

Gum sorry xxxx but " it ain t over to the fat lady sings!!!" or something like that!!!
The 2 CP s I ve had have just been like normal periods & had I not tested I 'd have been none the wiser. Xxx
Diege you make me feel less guilty ... when I left her the other day it was the only opportunity to do it as my AL from last year is all gone now!!!
Hi all;
Love to all xxxxx

gum stop the peeing! It doesn't help. Try to relax my love, unless i've missed it you have no bleeding yet? FTYAP. xxx

Had just popped on to update really. Had my 20 weeks scan on Tuesday, and all was fine. And to my surprise it's another boy.

Sending you all very best wishes and luck wherever you are on the TTC journey.

Jollster 44, 1 DS (4 tomorrow), TTC#2 since June 2009, 3MMCs 2 early MCs. Now 20+5.

xx

gum so sorry to hear how down you are . I don't know about testing at that stage so can't comment on the validity of your test, you must be feeling awful though :(

jollster how lovely to hear from you. Really pleased the scan was fine. 20 weeks seems to have gone so fast ! Did you do anything differently this time? We 're the same age so i wondered if you had tips? I know i can get pregnant as i was a few months ago and my day2/3 tests were all ok, just frustrated that I havent got pregnant soon after my MMC, though if i've been releasing duff eggs then i don't want them to stick for a short while either.

gum I had a chemical pregnancy. I had a positive test at around 12DPO, then started to bleed around 15DPO. It was much the same as a normal period. About 3 or 4 days later I tested again and it was negative. I didn't need any medical interventions and my period next month was nearly bang on time. I hope that your feeling is wrong. I think though diege is quite right, stop the peeing for now, very hard to I know, but at the mo I don't think it's helping and you must be feeling really anxious and crap when you do it. Huge hugs.

No news from the knicks house. SWI week in full flow though the romance is somewhat lacking. It's all a bit prescriptive ie me and DH are feeling knackered and almost couldn't be arsed last night, but felt we had to as we might miss the golden opportunity. Not a great winner in the romance stakes. Lots of love to all xxx

Gum - I once had a mc at just a week after my period was due and, yes, I didn't notice any difference between that and normal flow (tbh, I don't even count that one on my list as it was so straightforward). I know that positivity is a good thing, but I'm answering that part of your post because I also know that, when I lost the last one, I knew for the whole almost-ten weeks that it wasn't right and wondered why no one else believed me. So, although people are absolutely right to say it's not all over yet, I also think that if you feel it is, then . . . oh dear, I'm getting in a pickle here. I think I just want to say that you should deal with it however you want to, which is what is brilliant about this thread rather than RL.

Jollster - how absolutely lovely! You must be delighted - take care x

I've just come back from acupuncture which was lovely. My acupuncturist is so loving. She said that my pulses were all strong,but she said a pregnancy pulse can be so similar to a pre menstrual one that she can't decifer them.

Just when I think I should accept it will all be over soon, my boobs have started to get tender again. But those light tests have me thinking that I will be bleeding soon enough. There is no sign of blood at this stage and only the sort of cramping I normally get in early pregnancy,but I know it can take time. My first miscarriage was a missed one,so chances are my body isn't so good at giving up babies...

All I can do is wait it out. I still hope all will be well, but I don't really have an instinct for what will happen. I feel relatively calm considering.

Jolls, it is such good news about your scan and little boy. Thanks for your input,it really helps. I don't know if I can use that mantra: FTIAP, as I'm just not sure what to think!

Oh Gum I really feel for you; horrible to be in limbo and must be doubly difficult without dh to confide in. How are you managing on that score? Keep us informed with how you're doing - we're all here for you x
Jolls lovely news, you must be delighted . How old is your other little boy?
knicky good that you did the deed regardless. It has to be done and I bet you;re glad you made the effort
Love to all - sorry not to name check all but a bit crazy here and have seconds before it all kicks off (toddler/baby combo).

gum hope things do work out for you, as others have said try to stop testing it'll only confuse you and mess with your head.

diege dh and I were just chatting and talking about our relationship, work, life in general lol, I blame him for plying me with alcohol but at least I'm better now, will have a detox and rest my liver for a bit now!

I've now paid to be added to the donor egg register at Care in Nottingham, need to start saving but it'll be around 8 months so all being well I shouldn't have to put too much on a card (if I need the eggs am hoping not!!)

had my first hypnotherpay session last night, I was a bit nervous but it was fine, not sure if I went under but he said I did, I was very conscious of the noises coming in through the windows, dog barking traffic etc and i think i was trying too hard to relax but we'll see, I don't feel any different I have to say?!

Sending hugs to gum - with my second mc I used those devil sticks which tell you how many weeks you are and the fact that the number didn't go up told me all I needed to know - what I'm trying to say is I would absolutely have peed just like you did. I have my fingers crossed that this works out, my love. X
Jolls - whoop whoop - a boy (who would have known that? )

Gum big hug ((( ))). I think the same way as Hippy. I'd have done all the testing, too. You may know in your heart of hearts before any test tells you. Then again, if you read back through the thread you can see how many of us were jittery when we had no symptoms whatsoever for a day or so and panicked for nothing.

When I lost the last one (4/5 weeks) I woke up and didn't feel 'pregnant'. I tested and the number hadn't risen from 2-3 weeks. I cried buckets - it said everything. I only told my doctor afterwards as a formality. From then on it was a matter of just waiting to 'come on' - and it was just like a normal period, with normal cycle (ie next period came 28 days from mc date). If there's any good news to come of this situation, it is that the cycle does not appear to be interrupted. However, I totally get that you've had enough. TTC is emotionally exhausting and, if the worst has happened, you need to recover. Sending you all my love! xxx

Tina great news that you're on the list. How exciting!!! Interested in the hypnotherapy. Isn't it weird that you felt totally 'with it' but were told that you were 'under'? I had a hideous reiki session once when the guy told me to close me eyes; he wouldn't touch me and the only way I would know he was there was through heat coming from his hands. To this day I have no idea where he went, but when my hour was up and I had the courage to open my eyes he was coming back into the room putting his fleece back on. Creepy!!

Hi, can I join in please? Stats: age 42, first pg age 36 ended at 14 wks due to chromosomal abnormalities, ds born 2007 now 5, mmc June 2011, mmc now - ERPC booked for next wed. Want to TTC again asap

Thanks

Hi mrscupcake, so sorry to hear of your mmc. It's awful isn't it?

I'm just waiting to miscarry, I think. I've started to have some period like cramping,and a test this morning was so faint, I would have dismissed it as negative if it was the day my period was due. I know that the test would definitely have been positive if my bean was alive and growing. I just want it over with already.

I'm starting to feel angry and sad,and having trouble keeping it together. I have to take DS to swimming lessons this morning, where I'm surrounded by pregnant mums and new babies. I'd love to stay in, but DS loves his lesson and is expecting to go.

I have to let this go now. It's been over two years and two miscarriages and this one (I suppose you'd call it a chemical) and I just don't want to live my life always hoping and being let down.

This has also made me realise that I don't want to shoulder all the emotional burden either,which is what is happening as my DH really isn't involved with any of it.I suppose one consellation is that I don't have to break the news to him.

And I'm one of those people who has to "have a plan", so all this uncertainty is difficult for me.

It's time for a different plan. How strange to be saying that.This plan has been at the forefront of my mind for over two years.

I'm so blessed to have the children I have,and having a wonderful three year old will help. It's just hard to give up and change hopes and dreams.

I have loved being here,a part of this great group of lovely supportive women, and I hope all of you can get what your heart desires.

Can't stop - just ran into the snug to give gum a cuddle. I definitely hear what you're saying, matey. ((((()))))

Hi, can I join? I am 42, and we have been trying for ten years. We did ivf and ran out of money, then fell naturally 2 years ago but mc'd at 14 weeks.
Now I am 7 weeks but with a lot of spotting - I am having a reassurance scan tomorrow at start of 8 week. Let's hope it really is reassuring! :-) Don't think I will relax this time till after 14 weeks though.

PS hugs to gum and cupcake :-)

Incaminka lovely to hear from you. Sounds like you've had so many hurdles to jump. Fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Gum are thoughts are with you. Totally understand where you're coming from. I'm a planner, too. Think that's why this process is so hard - you simply can't plan ahead and it can make you feel like your life is on hold. in the Ozzie sunshine xx

our thoughts! What is the matter with me? No, don't tell me...

Hi gum and incaminka, thanks for the welcome.

gum i'm really sorry to hear you think you are mc, it is such an awful time, I will keep everything crossed for you. I've spent the last 4 weeks peeing on sticks which are all really strong but there is no life inside my sac, I've had 2 scans - one at 7 weeks and one yesterday at 8+3 and just an empty sac that hasn't grown one bit since first scan. And it is so hard to make the decision to stop trying, I remember reading in a miscarriage association leaflet last year that for some people the decision to stop trying takes years and is made and unmade many times. I had almost a year of changing my mind until my BFP in April, but this time I know I want to try again as soon as possible, but at the same time I am applying for jobs (currently SAHM, but Ds is at school now), just so that my life is not completely on hold anymore, and that is something I would not even have considered last year. It is so hard and so unfair.

I used to be a 'plan' person but I have come to realise that life doesn't give a s**t about plans, and so I am gradually learning to take each day as it comes and enjoy what I have right now.

If you don't feel like taking Ds swimming then don't take him, I am sure neither of you would benefit much when you are feeling so sad, and one week isn't going to change the course of either of your lives. You need to be kind to yourself and treat yourself how you would treat someone else going through what you are - lots of tea and cakes.

It's funny isn't it though, that no matter whether we have one child or ten the longing for another is just so strong and being 'grateful' for what we have doesn't help that much.

Incaminka, hi, I'm sorry to hear about your spotting, will keep everything crossed for you that it's just normal pg spotting (apparently very common especially around the time your period would have been due), I had spotting with my pg with Ds and it turned out I have a cervix that slightly turns out whenever I am pg and then becomes irritated very easily which results in spotting. Will be thinking of you tomorrow when you have your scan and hoping everything is just fine for you.

Hugs to you both

x

Thanks so much mrscupcake and hello and welcome incaminka. I do hope your scan is good news. You have obviously been through an ordeal.It's time you had some luck.Ten years is such a long time to be trying.

I did go to swimming, and yes was accosted visually several times by beautiful bellies and tiny babes. When I was dressing DS in the change rooms, he saw all the babies and told me that its time for us to have one. Talk about cruel irony! I agreed, but said I didn't know if we could have one.

Since coming home, I've wondered if in fact things might actually turn out. I have had a couple of symptoms, and no cramping or bleeding. But I realise that might take some time. I'm not sure what to do next. Whether I should buy more tests, or just wait it out.

DH is calling me to play my turn at scrabble. He still has absolutely no idea.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Fingers crossed for us both then!

oh gum, what an emotional rollercoaster you're on. I hope you find some peace soon, whatever happens. My DH isn't really engaged in the process either, I think he only agreed to give it ago because I told the chance of a baby were small. Big hugs.
welcome mrscupcake and incaminka, I haven't been here long, but everyone is so lovely and supportive, it's been really helpful, though reading everyone else's stories, I realise how lucky I am to have my DD. I hope your reassurance scan is just that, and the spotting means nothing.
mrscvery sorry to read of you'r having a miserable time. my first pg turned out to be anembryonic, I mc'd at 11+ weeks, but the scan showed no sign of a baby, just the sac. It kind of made sense as I'd had no symptoms, but an mc is an mc. I hope you can try again soon.

I think it's only a matter of time,cos I've had a tiny bit of mucus and blood. Sad but also glad I'm having an early miscarriage rather than later on. I feel annoyed that I got my hopes up even a tiny bit. I know at this age I have to be realistic,but off course I still hoped I jagged a good egg this time.
FOr those of you who have had recurrent miscarriage,how do you keep trying?

Not great news at scan, I'm either out by 2 weeks ( which I don't believe,) or it died at 5 weeks and I am mc-ing. Another scan next Sunday, but think it's a bit pointless.

Gum and Inca you're both going through the mill. I hope you can find some peaceful place today where you can have some time to yourselves to think things through quietly. Gum I would have been excited, too. It's so natural and it's something you've been hoping for. I am so sad for you both - you deserve good news, and, if that isn't going to come this time, then certainty would be nice. Thinking of you x