Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

[Curlylox]

Over here everyone

Evening all!! I'll be back later with a proper post. Hope you've all had a lovely day in the sunshine. xx

Thanks curlylox.

bean DD is 2 years 5 months and I'm loving the age she is. She's very funny. you mentioned having some friends who don't have children and single. I've got a several friends late 30's, early 40's, who have just been unlucky in love and don't have children and wish their lives were different. I thank my lucky stars I met hubby finally at the age of 36. I'm incredibly lucky. If things don't happen for me and DH for us to have a second child, then although gutted will be thankful for what I do have.

Not tried CBFM, have relied on OPKs. Have always had a positive test around day 15 since starting to try, but no success so far but did have a chem pregnancy and then a m/c at 6 weeks last year. Should I try CBFM?

Only went to docs about 6 weeks ago about not conceiving and have now had a range of blood tests last Monday. Progesterone being tested on day 21. Be interested to see results.

Hello all - marking my place. Happy Sunday eve. xxx

Hi all
Diege I return to work in 7 weeks!!! Eek!!! However, ensuring I don t dwell on it & just enjoy the rest of my time. Took Phebs swimming today she looked decidedly bored!!! But at least she wasn t scared !!
Beangrower I think it was you who asked ... I m not ttc at the moment PhebS is only 18 weeks old & after the last 2 years getting pg is the last thing on my mind ( in fact I m back on the pill). Don t know if you know my history? But I had a MMC in Oct 08,MC Sept 09 & my first born gorgeous daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks on Oct 10th 2010. So, as you can see we ve had a hellish 2 years resulting in our fabulous Phoebe. I m now 41 so I m defiantly having some time off ttc!!!
Good luck to all ttc xxx

Oh my first daughter's name is Georgie xxx

THanks for the new thread Curly .
I also have a 2 year old (3 in June). He is gorgeous but has certainly hit the 'terrible twos' and can tantrum for England Also have a 10, 9, and 6 year old, as well as my newest who is 17 weeks (I think...am losing track!). I do feel 'done' [in], and it is some relief to be temping for contraception purposes, not taking the B6 or agnus castus (which, I think, made quite a difference to the length of my luteal phase looking back), and ordering opk off ebay.knickyknocks I've never tried the CBFM, though did buy one the month I fell pregnant with dd3 . Have heard good things from others though, and I think there's also a thread on MN with those who use it on?
Hope I'm still ok here cheering you all on on the sidelines even though I most certainly do not want to personally see a bfp!!!

Goodness, it?s been busy in here!

Italian hope you?re dealing ok with your emotional roller coaster. Xx Sending up some more prayers for you.

Gum, Hippy lots of positive vibes for that golden egg.

Italian, Angel thanks for asking. Seem to be progressing ok through pg. Am now over 24 weeks. finally beginning to relax and allow myself to look forward to LO arriving in June, though don?t want to jinx things by being too ebullient. Never thought we?d get this far at all, ever, let alone without IVF. Feel so blessed.

Angel can?t believe Pheb?s looked bored when you took her swimming! How funny!!

Lol I bet you are in better shape than I am as I was barely able to get off my a%$e for 3-4 months, so daily dog walking would have done me a lot of good. I am trying to make myself get round to doing pelvic floor exercises, but not much luck yet. Don?t know why the prospect of stress incontinence isn?t enough to motivate me!! Hope you make it through to Easter ok in one piece, and hopefully Lolbean will ease off the tap dancing on your bakie!!

Knicky looking forward to hearing about your reflexology visit. DH?s work schedule sounds like a strain on both of you. Oh, my, what a tough time you?re going to have for your birthday!! What a sweetie your DH sounds. That is really very lovely of him. When are you going?

Bean you could be right about stress/tiredness being a real factor. Think without DH?s redundancy last summer we would be facing another round of IVF (but we did make other significant lifestyle changes over the course of last year along with x 2 rounds of IVF.)

Latestarter Yes, I am pg at the moment with a miraculous ?spontaneous? conception. Due in June. After investigation for endo and PCOS was diagnosed in summer 2010 with a blocked tube, hence going down the IVF route. I had never conceived before so had no idea whether it would be possible at all. Researched options for treatment privately in London. Was drawn to Zita West as I liked her philosophy. However, when I phoned to discuss appointments and treatment was surprised to find that IVF not done by ZW, but as referral to either Lister or ARGC. Decided to cut out the middle-man and go straight to the Lister, as other research was leading me to them too. Felt confident doing this as knew that our problem wasn?t one of timing, and didn't want to do any alternative therapies (not that I have anything against them ? just they didn?t seem right for us at the time plus funds were limited). Happy to share more on whole IVF process if you or anyone wants to know.

I?m glad to hear you think being a parent in your 40s is better. I feel guilty that we are so old, but I will try and adopt your attitude that it will make us better, cooler parents.

Re your Hysto, make sure you take your painkillers in plenty of time for them to get working, and make sure you have a nice treat and take it easy on yourself afterwards. Re your cycle, those timings would have been perfectly normal for me and not an indication of perimenopause, so I hope is not so for you. Are you going to make another appt for the GP? More importantly, have you POAS yet?

Hi Blackcats nice to hear from you again. You?ve had a bit of a rough time since your ERPC. Sounds pretty grim. Are you feeling better? Did you manage to get out into some of that lovely sunshine today?

There?s been lots of chat here on egg quality. Evening Primrose oil is supposed to help but do not take it after ovulation. Royal Jelly is another one to consider as a supp.

Would it be a good idea to reinstate the stats list?

Am tired out. DH and I actually managed to do a quite a bit of de-junking this weekend and took a car load of stuff to the dump and 5 bin-bags of stuff to charity shop. Sat in the garden for a bit reading papers and generally enjoyed sunshine while out an about. Went to Pilates class too. Was a bit about it at the time, but felt aches and pains coming on quite quickly afterwards, so guess it must be better than I realised at the time.

Diege I have no idea how you manage with your brood! And you look so glamorous too, even when heavily preggers (new-ish-bies ? see photo on her profile page ) You are always welcome here, as are all sensitive 40-somethings who understand the difficulties of TTC at our age. In any case, although it is officially a TTC thread, it has always covered related issues. Having said that, I guess I should ask the same question, as am not actively TTC at the moment. Hope no-one minds me keeping up with you all? It's so comforting to hang out with you all in the snug, and I fully expect to be back using OPK/CBFM mid summer.

Lots of positive, sticky vibes to everyone. Xx Have a good week. Hope the sunshine lasts!!

Ooops. Forgetting my manners. thanks for starting the new list Curly.

Jumping in to keep my place. Thanks for the new thread Curly.

All hell breaking loose in my household, so will be back later!

blackcatsdancing so sorry to hear about your erpc. Thinking of you.

Thanks for the new thread Curly.

fireflies thanks for the prayers. I am trying to reply to posts on the new thread and the last few on the last too! They are all jumbled up!

missbone thanks for your prayers too. I hope you will look in on us, I wish you all the very best with you pregnancy.

Knicky, enjoy that birthday, do whatever is fun. A spa day sounds amazing. I got a flying lesson. My DH accompanied me in the plane and my DD (then aged under 3 months) was left with my mum. Before we left the house she rolled over for the first time and I did not see it but DH mentioned it to me in the car! So all I could think about for the first half an hour or so was that my DD had rolled over! Then I got up in the air and started thinking about flying! (Have to explain I had a pilot teacher flying the plane for first bit, not just me and DH! Ha ha!).

Beangrower yes feeling better. I did cry my eyes out at Bridge to Terabithia though! I REALLY hope you are right about sticky beans, and as a bean grower let?s hope you know!

latestarter I think I am premenopausal as periods are missing in action for last year! I had a hysteroscopy about three weeks ago and the results were good. The weirdest bit (honestly) was trying to eat a sandwich after the general anaesthetic. I did not have any saliva in my mouth and drank a whole jug of water! So actually in the grand scheme of things it was very easy. No pain, no discomfort and the loveliest kind doctor who made me feel very at ease when I met him before the procedure. But do be prepared wih whatever pain relief is offered. Here?s hoping you have that same experience too (pain free and a good result). Really hope that it all goes well. Can I ask, how long have you been trying and how old are you, and do you have any children already? I?m just curious because if you have been trying for more than 6 months I would say it is worth popping to GP for initial checks or to a clinic or whatever. Sorry if I have already asked you this!

lolfactor well done on keeping it all going (walking dog etc while preggers) and thanks for asking after me.

angelgeorgie, can?t believe Phoebe looked bored swimming! Hugs to you.

MiaAlexandrasmummy any news, honey?

Tina how are you doing, what's next?

fireflies of course we want you to stay around honey.

Isabeller, Marytheresa, Tank Jolly, Hopeful, Hippy, Diege, and all HUGS and baby dust and sorry if I missed anyone.

PS, me ? injecting, crying and generally thinking it will all be over soon!

Just for latestarter - happy to share my experiences of assisted conception and the like! I?ve told it a lot in the past! The others have probably heard it so they can tune out now! DH and I have one dd, aged 7, conceived through IUI and have been ttc number 2 again since she was 9 months old. Had a very early miscarriage when DD was just over a year old. Since then have had many failed IUI attempts, one abandoned IVF, and two attempts with donor eggs (we were told early on that donor eggs would be our best bet and we decided to go for it), We had also looked into adoption in the UK and overseas when DD was under 2. We found we would struggle to pay for overseas adoption and would not be eligible to try for UK adoption until DD was older. She is now much older and adoption will probably be what we try if this final attempt fails. This final attempt is a FET (frozen embryo transfer) with embies from our last attempt. We were told donor cycles in the UK rarely enable the patient to have a FET as the eggs are shared (either between two recipients or between the donor and one recipient in egg sharing situations). However, we were lucky and we got five embryos last time, two were placed in me for the attempt (which failed) and the remaining three embryos (all of lower than normal grade - which the clinic would not normally freeze) were frozen because after talking to them I got them to agree to freeze as this would be the best chance for those embies. We will see if any of them will be able to go through the treatment for this final attempt. We chose ?Care? which is a group of fertility clinics with many over the midlands and north of UK. Over the years things have come up, my thyroid is underactive (which I now take drugs for), my blood pressure is high (which I now take drugs for) and I may have some immunology issues too. So over the last cycle and this new cycle immunology drugs have been put into the cycle. I hope that is not too much info!

thanks for the kind words and thoughts. Mentally feeling much better as my first AF post erpc has stopped and i'm left with clear CM!! I can't tell you how great that is after all the bleeding, spotting, etc etc. I've discussed extensively over on miscarriages how awful it felt to be so cut off from body's natural rhythms etc etc so it means a lot to me that some sort of normality seems to have returned. I've been looking for a thread that's not too hysterical as I need sense and calm and reassurance, I think this place may be good for me.

I read the royal jelly and evening primrose suggestion for egg health. I knew EPO was good to improve CM pre ovulation and I had read something about royal jelly and acupuncture often used together (well the person being treated taking it) so shall investigate more. I did an ovary massage last night- was actually quite nice, shall definately do it again, wasn't 100% sure i was on the right spot despite googling their position!

p.s it will take me while to get to know who everyone is and your stories- apologies if i'm not replying more personally yet.

Blackcats don't worry about not knowing all our stories - it does take a while and we all have quite a history!! Good you're feeling better. I want to know more about ovary massage! Never heard of it before! Tell us more! Have you any links?

Might be a good idea to start the stats list again, but I don't know how keen everyone else is. Here's mine as a start in case it's thought a good idea:

Fireflies - 42, blocked tube, x 2 failed IVF cycles, currently 24+2 with first child

Have a good Monday everyone. xx

hello all, sorry I've been awol for such a long time. JUst tried to read a bit of the last thread but can't catch up for all of it.

First things first, Jolls congratulations! I am very pleased for you and hope it all goes well.

gum hippy and italian I am keeping everything crossed for you.

as for me I'm around 29+3 weeks pg now. Huge. Still get the sickness occasionally so still taking the pills. Trying to eat healthily though now to stop the weight gain. I've been concentrating on the relationship with my H though as it has been extremely upsetting. He is now back living with me and we are getting on really well. Neither of us really know what happened to derail us or what has changed. but I would say (I think it was missbone talking about this) that ttc played a part in it. Although he wanted another baby he wasn't as keen as me, and the ttc got very trying for him. He is definitely resentful of the whole period, and I am hurt by the lack of support he showed for my mcs. I think we'll have to have counselling to get to the bottom of this, but for the time being we've agreed to agree to differ. It was a very stressful period in our lives and included job loss, 2 miscarriages, house/city move, family falling out.

Someone else was asking for people's stories. Mine is I'm 41. Got pg and had a mc in Feb 2010 at around 12 weeks very very traumatic - I was 39. Then ttc from then until June 2011 when I got pg. mc then at 7 weeks (due date on Weds ) but managed to get pg again in August unexpectedly.

Used CBFM the most, but also tried temping. Had the full range of tests privately, which possibly showed low progesterone. In the end I used progesterone for the sucessful (but also the second unsuccessful) pregnancy. Now hoping that it will all go ok for me.

Sorry that's all about me, but hopefully gives hope that it is possible to get pg after 40, although it's not without it's trials.

well i POAS last night, BFN, but and I'm a bit freaked out here, i got a BFP a couple of hours ago! What is a little weird though is that I did another one using the same brand from last night (which has a high sensitivity) and it is still negative, but have done three others (two brands) and they are all positive, so I guess that means I'm pg? . I heard a saying on here recently, for today I am pregnant, and I'm going to adopt that as my motto, as it is both suprisingly positive and realistic.

like flies and others I want to continue to hide out here is that is okay, there is so far to go, but I'm feeling quite confident, and I really dont want to go through another miscarriage...urrrggghhhh.

there has been so much on here over the last few days that I wanted to respond to, but I cant concentrate now. Just a quick one to blackcats, I was where you are in August last year and it sucks, I hope you are also in the same position as me now in another six months, and of course the same for everybody here....fingers crossed for everyone and lots of sticky glue for my little blob. x

Hi Beattie good to hear you're doing ok pg-wise and that you're getting things sorted with DH.

Latestarter Woohoo!! Woweeeeeeee! FTYP!! Keep us posted.

FF xx

Hi all, newbie here. My history as follows:
I am 47 and following a lifelong history of fertility problems, have been TTC with my DH since 2006. I had clomid first, and was successful on the first cycle, but had mc at 9 weeks. After many more failed cycles on clomid, I moved onto Gonadatrophin injections, and again was successful on the first cycle. Again I had mc at 6 wks. I had 2 more unsuccessful cycles then the NHS stopped my treatment because they said my eggs were no good any more. We then looked into IVF and visited the London Women's Clinic in Darlington, where we found out about their egg sharing scheme. They quickly found us a donor, who produced 20 eggs, so we got 10. In Aug last year we had 1 blasto transferred. It failed but we had 3 good ones frozen. On 15 Feb, my birthday, we had 1 FET, and yesterday I had a positive test! Now just hoping and praying that this time it might work!

Good luck to everyone else!

missbone - your previous message may have been:"clearly not meant for anyone other than the women who had written about their DP/DH being reluctant or unwilling in the sack." So why all the stuff about losing weight,getting fit etc? Knowing when you ovulate?

I still think your post was "unfair", because what you said, was offensive, to those who were really just wanting to express their frustration about getting DH"s to"comply" at the right time, because your post showed very little sympathy. It was a rant about how useless their husbands are, and a rant about how we ought to just get slim, know when we ovulated, have sex the week before, and boom, we'd all get pregnant.

I don't know that you are able to understand that when a woman has been doing everything you suggest, plus more, and still isn't pregnant after a year or more, it becomes very difficult to remain positive, and to listen to others make suggestions that are obvious.

I never attacked your support, nor did i give you a "shitty dismissal", I just wanted to point out that what you said was actually insensitive to women (who have been incredibly supportive and sympathetic to you) who did not fall pregnant easily (in 2 months) like you did.

We are not a pack of wolves, but we do defend one another, because we are friends. This territory has never been the territory of "fertility experts", rather as women who have much experience in the ttc category, we may already have some wisdom about it.

Despite making yourself "perfectly clear" that you were giving advice to the women with reluctant partners, your post clearly upset many others.

No one resents someone over 40 falling pregnant easily - in fact, I'm pretty sure we were all very supportive and congratulatory at the time (for you), however, I do resent being told the obvious, when I have been ttc for a couple of years and have had two heart-breaking miscarriages.

Congratulations Latestarted, wonderful news!

Latesarter WOW, WOW, WOW, huge hugs and arrow prayer for all to go well.

Wendyb My dear your story is a bit similar to my own, and I too am 47 and even slightly older than you so you are the younger! CONGRATULATIONS and wishing you every good luck with this baby. I am a Christian and will try and remember to pray for a successful time for you. All the best.

missbone thanks for your kind comment to me. There are lots of lovely people making kind comments to each other on here often and I am sorry you feel badly responded to. I don?t want to get into the whole discussion and I can't speak for anyone else but I know I am just here to get support and to give it. I don?t think we're experts at all - between us maybe we have all had a lot of different experiences, so maybe that makes it sound at times like we know lots/think we know lots. I certainly am not slim, and am battling with my weight, which thankfully I am seeing some success with. I hope you will have a really peaceful and uneventful pregnancy. And if you need support we are here.

Gum hugs to you and hoping things will look up. I am thinking of you walking on your sunny beach as it is probably about 9.30 a.m. now! Or maybe you are doing the dishes!

Hippy hugs to you on your island.

angelgeorgie any news on work for Ant.

Still injecting and feeling less emotional! I feel a tiny tinge of hope because I know it might just work this time, but also fearful!

We are clearing out our old tapes (remember VIDEO!). I found a programme about adopting from China, sad to think in the time we have been doing this and the money we have spent we could have probably adopted from China! But at the time it did not seem like the right option (don't worry, don't want to start a debate on that - just thinking and remembering!).

I've also just been watching two episodes a very old programme from 2006 I think it was called A child against the odds. I had recorded the icsi and donor egg programmes and I watched them again tonight, was in tears.

PLEASE do not watch this clip if you are of a sensitive nature and do not show your DH/DPs because it is a bit scary! - HONESTY wince making!

Hugs to you all. It's a bit late to name check but wishing the best for all of you.

Italian, our posts crossed. I am so upset at how things have turned out on here. I can't escape the fact that I am hormonal, and have been for days now..it's not healthy, but nor do I regret my posts. They were never meant to harm or embarrass or humiliate. I've always wished that when my mind was overtaken by obsession and addiction only a couple of years ago (and I do believe the quest for a baby can be obsessive and addictive; that is certainly borne out on here) someone had sat me down and 'stated the obvious'; spoken frankly; and, yes, trod on a raw nerve. Who cares if it's something you've heard a million times before? Who cares if the post doesn't apply to you whatsoever? If that's the case, great! Move on to the next one. It's so not personal.