Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the shiny new baby-friendly MOSH PIT.

[MarthasHarbour]

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your METALLING moments. All welcome!

Our last thread reached 1000 posts so i hope you have all found your way here! I have steaming hot chocolate croissants (or as my colleague said 'chocolate pasties'), blueberry muffins, grapefruit segments and hot buttered toast for brekkie!

Settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

hi projectg where I am you can self refer to the EPAU if you've already had a mc. Is that an option for you?

missc backache definitely normal, twinges definitely normal, where are the cramps?

tiago hope you're feeling better, I would take some action, it's better than just sitting around going round and round with your worries (been there,not fun). I would book appt with GP as well, mine was very reassuring. It is worth it for some peace of mind.

tiago sorry you are feeling so fragile today. I think you should get referred by your GP if you are worried. CB are indeed the work of the devil and will in reality tell you nothing conclusive.

Miss C. You know the drill. Can just be normal, it really can. But this won't stop us metalling. I had both the other night. The cramps were plain old constipation and the back old age.

Me myself an I are trying to ignore the little bit of spotting. Just a tiny bit. Has not stopped me full on metalling. However the metalling has passed. Still feel very up duffed so will focus on that instead. When does positive thinking turn into denial? It's a fine line. 3 more sleeps till 8 week scan. Will try not to drive you all me tal between now and then.

tas stroking and sad music is inhumane. That would have cracked anyone. Shouldn't be allowed.

Calming strokes to all the metallers, I'm off to bed x

Morning all,

Going to be me me me this morning - been up most of the night with what we thought was early labour.........NOPE - just another false alarm. I chalk that up as number 6!!! Back pain and contractions every 10 mins for 8 hours, then nothing. Booo hissss!!!

Feel knackered this morning and so will be spending the day on the sofa, will catch up with all you lovely ladies later in the day!!!

Hugs xxx

iq, what a pain! Literally! These last days of pregnancy are so hard. You are nearly there, then you get to give your little girl all the hugs and kisses in the world! And it keeps getting better and better.

Mscoffee how are you this morning? Hope cramps etc have gone away.

tiago, hope you are alright this morning too.

I am feeling like I have been pregnant for an age, and not in a good way, and yet it is only 5 and 4. I keep thinking of that line in a West Side Story- 'Today, the minutes seem like hours, the hours go so slowly'. Please could someone wave a magic wand and let me be 7 months pregnant, with a healthy baby?

Oh yes please Jaffa. Though I'll go the whole hog and say I'll settle for being 38 weeks right now like I was supposed to be

Still crampy. Very low down inside and in between legs, like period, in my bum too. Not terribly painful but noticeable. I have selfishly given in to the metal banned anything more strenuous than sitting on the sofa today out of sheer paranoia. I'll still be working but I'm doing it from the safety of sitting on my ass.

IQ I had six weeks of regular contractions each night, began just as I wanted to go to sleep, and would usually carry on for at least 4 hours contracting regularly before going off as the sun rose. You have my total sympathy. I think it's a primal thing. Labour by installments. Your cavewoman self can't be left vulnerable to the predators by labour in the day. So you labour in the night and it stops in the day and then you labour in the night etc until there's no stopping a baby. And by then labour will be faster as lots of the work is already done leaving you less likely to be eaten by lions. Or something.

tas I had a stroking and sad music type experience. Encountered a woman with a big bump and she told me it was due on mini-toe's due date, whilst smiling and stroking and saying not long to go till I meet him. I actually felt like I'd been smacked in the face, all my breath went - and I was greeting her professionally so all I could do was crack a smile and say how lovely/exciting. GAH. I see a lot of pregnant women, they don't usually give an exact date, but this one did - MY DATE.

How are you today Tiago

Labour by installments does not sound much fun IQ.

I am feeling more sane/calm today. It all just looked so bleak yesterday - and I haven't felt like that for years (I was a very depressed teenager). DH has noted that mood swings are a symptom in early pregnancy and says that if I have any more severe ones I'm going to give myself whiplash. Jaffa - the MC history is my main reason to worry, but it's also influenced by a need that I have to control things and that I found out my workplace has a higher-than-average miscarriage rate which is really very alarming .

I decided that the CB Digi route was the best way to become sane (or the start to accept that things would not be working out) as otherwise I would not stop wondering and my GP is not very communicative - he's fine on the medicine-giving but not so great on the bedside manner. So, I very determinedly did not get up overnight to go to the bathroom (remembering what everyone has said about maybe testing when I'd had too much fluid, etc) and tested with a CB digi this morning. I then nearly cried when it came up as 3+. I also took a photo on my iphone and have stared at it repeatedly ever since.

I have an appointment with the occuptional health GP at work tomorrow so i think I will use that opportunity to talk about my bouts of insanity and see if s/he will tell me anything helpful.

I think it's all gone wrong, I've had a rush of fluid, and I just feel like it's not right. I'm nearly crying. I can't do it again.

Oh missc - can you ring the MW and go and be seen? Ive had these during my pg and the dr said it was normal 'secretions' especially after an internal which made me feel like they'd broken my waters.

Please,please,please call someone and be seen!!!!

Who can I call? My MW only works 2 days this is not one of them. The MWs are only at the surgery one day a week, Friday. EPU won't see me I'm 14 weeks. I won't be able to get to the hospital and be seen and be back again by the time DD comes out of school and she has no childcare today. I can't go to GP they have no way of checking anything out and the GP is a miserable old bastard who won't ever see you when you need seen anyway.

This is way TMI - I sat on the loo and I did a wee and a pooh and then after I'd finished those and was getting ready to wipe I had a spontaneous gush of fluid that I'm 95% sure came from my vagina. I put a pad of loo roll in my pants to check and I'm still leaking as I move around. Not huge amounts but there isn't huge amounts at this point. There wasn't huge amounts even at 17w when this happened before.

I'm now imagining a horrible horrible future one I'd never let myself think about before.

Bloody hell!!!!

Here our community midwife team have a number you can call and speak to someone, an assessment number where you can get advise and they also have a drop in clinic where you can be seen as well.

Can't believe they don't have any local services that you can use. I'm utterly furious on your behalf. Can't see why things should be so shit I your area, where are you int the country???

Mscoffee, you need to see someone. Can you get you partner out of work, or one of your inlaws to manage childcare?

Ring the Epu, and pretend ignorance of 14 wk cut off? Or say you aren't completely sure about dates.

The only other thing I can think of is ring tommy's, the charity. I have been carrying this card round since my second miscarriage, and it says 'for impartial pregnancy information, talk to our midwives on 0870 777 30 60.

are you sure epu won't be able to help? they saw me when i was 16 weeks and my midwife couldn't hear the babies heartbeat on the doppler. They should at least point you in the right direction.

hope everything is ok MissC

also do you not have a load of numbers on the front of your antenatal notes?

Is there a friend or neighbour who could collect DD for you at all? Or could the school keep her at an after school club on a one off basis? Alternatively ( not sure if this would work) can you call the supervisor of midwives - maybe she can find an alternative MW for you?

Do you still have the number if the dungarees consultant?

Thanks. Sorry. I'm calming down a bit now. Thankyou for the fast response you are all wonderful metallers.

I just spent a small amount of time hyperventilating but I'm alright now. Just panicked that's all. It could easily be normal, yes? Right then. Not much they can do even if it's not, is there. I have an appt with the consultant at the hosp on friday morning anyway, that's not far off. I could call the central MW unit they would let me speak to a nurse or MW I've never met who would tell me what to do but I hate explaining the whole thing over and over and I know they'd tell me to go into assessment which I can't do until I've got DD anyway. ILs are on hols friends are at work, really can't face worrying OH he'd come straight home if I was worried but he's under so much stress at work at the moment I just can't put that on him. He was in the study until stupid oclock last night then slept hours on the sofa refusing dinner :(

I've calmed down. I feel silly. I've put on a pad to see what happens. If I'm still worried after I've fetched DD I'll call in and see, I can take her with me then if I have to go. If I need to call the MW I can tomorrow. And I'll see the consultant Friday. Right?

Sorry.

Alright, it's okay, I think. I haven't had much more at all and the cramping has eased and the baby is fluttering.

God I'm a fucking headcase

I'm going to ring the MW tomorrow.

Missc glad u have calmed down a little since the episode but could u call Nhs direct just for some advice?

Everything crossed for u though I'm sure it will all be fine x

Oh missc you are NOT a headcase and you are not silly, sounds very stressful! I'm stressed reading it! Glad the cramping has eased and baby is fluttering though.

Wouldn't calling someone today reassure you?

Missc you aren't a head case - you are a pg woman after all of the hurt and pain that you have had before. There is no way that you would have walked into this pg and not been concerned - it just isn't possible!!!

Plus the fluttering is a good sign - they always say that is the baby is moving they have energy to spare and so are doing well......I'm no expert obviously but I'm praying that everything is fine!!! Xxxx

I don't know. I'm in two minds. I don't trust myself to make these decisions any more. Too late now really the MW office is closed so all I could do is ring labour ward, which would feel like a stupid thing to do. Instead I'm going to take paracetamol so I don't metal about the cramps (better not to feel them, they are not bad ones, at all, but they are making me crazy) and sit tight till the morning.

If it is the worst then going in or not going in won't change it, will it?

Mscoffee, it is really difficult to know what to say, but for what it's worth, I think you should ring the hospital just to talk it through, and ask what they would do if you went in. Then you know for sure. They cannot make you go in but at least you would have some proper info to make decisions. And if you did go in, there is every possibility that they tell you all is well, so you will get some peace.

I completely understand that this might not be what you choose to do, and really I don't know what to say for the best. You are in my thoughts.

missc I'm with jaffa, someone has responsibility for you at 14wks, at least the labour ward can tell you who. Hope you're ok. x

missc I really know what jaffa is saying - it's tricky to know exactly what to say. Advice is so easy to give and hard to take; case in point me not getting no movement checked out but ultimately you have your life to juggle as well as your worries and it's bloody hard getting the balance right. I actually said to the consultant on Wednesday that I talked myself out of going to the hospital when I hadn't felt baby move even though I definitely would have advised someone else to go and utterly meant it - I am compenstating too far the other way knowing that I'm anxious. She told me that a) I should have gone (duh!) and b) let THEM guage where the worry line is - so. With that in mind, I am passing on my consultants advise rather than offer up my own:

Do call the hospital and let them guage whether it's anything to worry about/get checked.

This is sensible and logical. And, you are right of course, it won't change anything IF, if it's not good news but as mentioned to tiago there's a special place in hell called 'limbo' and some control over what we are doing, or to be more accurate, not having the control over our bodies but still choosing to have control over how we deal? I think it's important.

And if you choose head in the sand, that's ok too... for a short while. But at the very least, then, you must be seen tomorrow when DD is at school. I think that's a fair compromise.

As for me, I am exhausted. To the point of crying earlier when DS2 had a tantrum over the size of the bite he took from his cheeseburger (seriously. The kid kicks up a fuss unless his mouth is bulging with food and I'm panicking he'll choke...). But yesterday I booked a 3/4D scan for tomorrow at midday as I am feeling... well, I don't see a baby at the end of this pregnancy. I am hoping it'll help me bond. It's the first time I've had one despite meaning to with DS2 so I'm curious to see whether I enjoy it and whether he resembles his brother (and, indeed, that he is actually a he!!)

missc I don't think you are metalling at all. I think you should call labour ward, explain your history and see what they say. You know it makes sense. X