I had 'it happens for a reason' from a few people, including my dad and Mil... I think it's more of an older generationthing (in my experience it was, anyway) but I HATE the unspoken, read between the lines, part of it - there was something 'wrong' with the baby.
So, as the consultant agreed it was quite likely it was my flu/extreme high temp that doomed the pregnancy I answered both times 'Yup, it was that I got ill - there was nothing wrong with the baby at all'.
I suppose it's possible there may have been but even so there is something horribly callous in effectively saying to someone 'better it died now than you had to deal with a disabled child'.
DF is out at a wake so having a drink He and his buddys are continuing a convo we were having last night trying to come up with a name for this baby. Some of the suggestions, via a flurry of texts, are hilarious (Trevor, from his best friend of all people! sorry to anyone considering Trevor, but really, why would you do that to a child?! 
)
Then I get a phonecall from him. I answer, laughing, saying if this is another shite suggestion... and he says 'actually, I'm feeling a bit emotional and I've only had two pints... The only name that keep popping into my head is Teddy and nothing else sounds right.'
Teddy was the name we gave to DS3, for those that didn't know.
Mostly, it feels like I'm the only one that still feels him in my heart. And, in all honesty, I do give him a brief thought almost every day. I realise it's not like that for just about everyone else that knew of his existence but sometimes as much as my heart aches that DF is still feeling pain over our little boy going too soon it's also a massive comfort that he IS still in his heart too. Eh. Bit rambly, not quite making sense but I think you guys will understand?
That said, moomin I think DF only remembered that actual due date because I was talking about it/my wish to mark to the day. And as that phonecall demonstrates, it's not because he doesn't rememner our baby or that he doesn't care... I guess grief and how it hits us/how we deal with it is different for everyone. And we can't judge anyone harshly for not feeling it in exactly the same way we do.
I suppose what I'm saying is don't make this a self-forfilling prophecy - if you would like your baby remembered on the day he was due to be born, MAKE IT SO. And if you really don't want to talk about it or mark the day then remember that just because people don't talk to you about him, that they don't remember him in their own way, too.