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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the shiny new baby-friendly MOSH PIT.

971 replies

MarthasHarbour · 07/02/2012 11:30

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your METALLING moments. All welcome!

Our last thread reached 1000 posts so i hope you have all found your way here! I have steaming hot Brew chocolate croissants (or as my colleague said 'chocolate pasties'), blueberry muffins, grapefruit segments and hot buttered toast for brekkie!

Settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

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MandaHugNKiss · 07/03/2012 13:32

moomin I just have to echo you on the 'where has time gone' sentiment after DF said something last night about 'last summer' and the first thing out of my mouth before I engaged my brain was 'I really can't remember last summer'. And it's true, I can't! Of course, a milisecond later my brain caught up as to why I can't remember but I think it's just indicative of the way we literally 'get through it' and 'life' seems to stop.

Saw consultant today who didn't give me an induction date but has referred me to a bereavement midwife who will talk to me and go over options before giving her recommendation to the consultant who may then set an induction date (if they induce at all!). At this rate the baby will be born before they pull their collective fingers out! But I think it's an important/interesting piece of info to pass on to you guys - that if you are struggling in subsequent pregnancies, if you'll just voice what you're feeling (my classic mistake, brushing it all off, not saying anything to any professionals...) they have specialist help to, if nothing else, just listen. I'm sure that the dreaded postcode lottery will come into play for some of you and goodness knows I seem quite lucky in my area but, as I say, worth a mention I think.

dunnitt It doesn't seem it because we're 'all together' here but later losses happen 'rarely' - I'm sure it's less than 0.5% chance. If you have suffered an early loss, or even several early losses if you get to 12 weeks (or the second tri) safely, then you pretty much are in the clear. As I say, our stats won't tally with national averages as we are birds of a feather flocking together.

midgetm Holding you in my thoughts, really hoping for good news (and this post has taken me forever to write so I hope we've cross posted with wonderful news from you already)

missc Vastly increased discharge can be utterly normal... of course, it's not much comfort to you given your history. Baby is in a good spot, right? So your 'treacherous' body can do its worst but I think this little one has a very good chance of coming home in your arms.

Need to eat so apols for not more name checking (still not over this fluey thing but at least starting to eat more...)

Oh, and my first 'baby' is 17 today. How did that happen?! Happy birthday DD! Jeeze, she'll be hassling me for a car soon...

crystaltea36 · 07/03/2012 13:44

Ladies, I am majorly metalling! It's 6 weeks this Saturday which is when I MC last time. I'm so scared, then I'm scared what if it happens at 7 weeks, or 8 or 9 or 10 or 11 or 12!! I haven't told anyone, am in general denial and am just starting to panic about this weekend. I keep saying if it happens again there's nothing you can do so just stop thinking about it but I AM always thinking about it! :-(

MissCoffeeNWine · 07/03/2012 16:31

dunnitt there are a few of us here with later losses unfortunately. They are rarer, I read statistics anywhere from 0.5% to 5% happen in the second trimester - I think it depends on when you define the trimesters really (some say 12 weeks is second tri, some say 14), and if you count termination for medical reasons in those statistics, or not (not belittling this, I just think it's in a different set of stats) and if you 'count' MMC - like a MC found at a NT scan for example. Second tri MCs often have different causes to first tri MCs, and I've found they are taken more 'seriously' by the professionals as worthy of investigation...probably because they can sometimes do something to fix it/save future babies, whereas for the majority of first tri MCs there's so sadly nothing to be done.

Having said all that I fall in the nothing-to-be-done category. I don't have any official diagnosis, as I would need to have investigations when not-pregnant. And I always seem to be pregnant when I go in Blush but the theory is I have a uterine malformation (bicornuate uterus) which causes placental abruption as the uterus expands - but I have carried my DD to term plus some and had a healthy straightforward home birth, so it seems to be pure chance on where the placenta ends up.

Why my waters broke at 17w with my DS will always be something of a mystery but it may just be my body deciding it wasn't going to carry a pregnancy destined to fail - I had had bleeding and brown discharge/fluid from 13+3 with no reason found on investigations. It is likely the placenta had begun to come away from the uterine wall. But the placenta (and DS) were otherwise healthy, killed by infection after ROM, and born by induction of labour 2 days later.

If my waters hadn't gone it's highly likely DS would have been a MMC at the 20 week scan.

My 14 week MC was discovered on a scan in my 13th week - we had told our families I was pregnant on Christmas Day after dating scan at 13w on Dec 22nd, bled on the 28th and went for another scan, baby was gone. Went home to wait and baby was lost the first week of January, that was my worst and longest labour, it wasn't helped by the medical definition of 1st/2nd tri MC - my baby died at 13+6, meaning it was a 1st trimester loss, so I was alone at home with the suggestion of paracetamol and a bath. With my DS I had labour ward, a midwife and could have had any pain relief I required - I really should have tried some for the craic Grin.

Sorry I'm going on and on now Blush

It's rare. Later losses are rare. Honest they are, it's just hanging round these parts makes it seem like they aren't. 14 weeks - 28 weeks is actually one of the safest bits of pregnancy. I won't say it doesn't or won't happen, but don't let us take your milestone joy. I'm 13+2 today and there is EVERY chance that even I will have a healthy baby at the end, so don't worry.

I'm sorry for all the metalling. Fingers crossed for all the scan news today. XXXXX

Midgetm · 07/03/2012 16:55

Just lost my whole f'ing post

mrsclairemarie sending you to the normal scanning place is actually wrong - I didn't think that happened anymore. I was near the labour ward after an ERPC once and it cut like a knife. I thought they knew better than that in this day and age. You also hit a nerve with women from work - I spent months avoiding one person in particular - I don't know why but certain people I found harder to deal with pregnant than others.

TLM Sending you as much positivity as I can cram on the interweb. I know exactly what you mean about being in denial. I nearly did a runner from my appointment today. Denial seemed a safer harbour.

MissC - reading about your experiences is humbling. Women and their propensity to retain hope fills me with nothing but admiration and joy. Everyone loves a trier and the women on these boards are certainly that.

I thought I had updated from my phone - been in different hospitals all day. Sorry I should have done it sooner. Thanks so much for all your well wishes. Perhaps the power of these good thoughts propelled that little heartbeat. I wept, I howled, and I opened up that little bit of your heart that leaves you vulnerable to hurt and makes you all fragile. The MC clinic are really positive (too positive - it freaked me out). CRL all as it should be and HB looking strong. So in them and their 2 weekly monitoring I trust and 150mg of asprin. Had I taken this simple drug would I now have 8 children? We will never know I suppose and I should just thank my lucky stars that I am still in the race. They say that supportive management increases your chance of success. I would be interested to know if your experiences back this up?

Totally overhwlemed, scared, prepared to mettal like a heavy mettaller for as long as this lasts. Thanks for all your good thoughts.

twolittlemonkeys · 07/03/2012 17:16

mrsclaire that must be so tough. At least at home I can hide away from the pregnant ladies. Also awful that they scan you in the regular antenatal bit. :(

midgetm I am soooo pleased you are still in the race. Thinking loads of positive thoughts to keep that bean sticking.

Dunnitt · 07/03/2012 18:05

MandaHug, PepsPop and MissCoffee. Thank you for your reassuring words. They do bring comfort.

MissCoffee Was very interesting to hear about your experience. Must have been so horrible for you. You deserve your happy ending now. Alsointeresting to hear about the 1st/2nd trimester threshold. I was geared up to tell everyone when I have my scan next wk as will be 12wk+1. But perhaps I shouldn't jump the gun.

Crystaltea We all feel like that. I always have these milestones to get through. The key one for always is to get passed 9 weeks as that is the longest I have ever got to before. But I am passed that now and now worry abbout 12wks! So I guess it never stops. But every pregnancy is different.

midgetM so happy for you. Its always so nice to hear good news on threads like this,

marielisa · 07/03/2012 21:00

Hi ladies, i'm new to the site. Have a gorgeous 20 month old daughter and just had miscarriage at ?10 weeks. Going for erpc next week after a lot of waiting for stuff to happen naturally. I just thought i'd say hi as i needed to read some sucess stories after miscarriage. i don't know if i will ever go through pregnancy again without being paranoid, i just had a horrible feeling from the start that this pregnancy was going to end badly. Anyway, its great to hear from other people who have experienced similar things.

MissCoffeeNWine · 07/03/2012 21:01

Fabulous news midget!

dunnitt it's your milestone you get to choose it! It's semantics really. Some people say 12 weeks, some people 12 completed weeks (so 13 weeks) and the medical definition, as I found out, is 14 weeks.

Having seen a healthy baby at 12+1 is extremely positive and it would be rare for something to go wrong after that. Just as rare as it going wrong after the 20 week scan and presumably you wouldn't wait for that. It's never a sure thing (then you get to worry about prematurity and then birth and then SIDS and then them electrocuting themselves on plug sockets and then running out into the road and then being eaten by a tiger on the school zoo trip and then getting alchohol poisoning at teenage sleepovers and then killing themselves the day after they pass their driving test - and that's all if you're very very lucky Grin)

It's very much your call. I've always felt a bit protective of my secret when it came time to tell anyway and haven't wanted to! Wait till you feel right. Then go for it.

Tiago · 08/03/2012 06:51

Does anyone know when a CB digital test should say 3+ weeks? I'm 5 +3 and it only says 2-3 weeks and I'm mental long like crazy ( I seriously feel like I am going mad). :(

InsomniaQueen · 08/03/2012 08:01

will do a proper catchup in a while but wanted to say Tiago try not to stress - my CB digi went to 3+ the week I had my dating scan and the LO was measuring 6 weeks.

I did a test once a week on the same day that I'd tested the first time around - have you left a week plus since the last test......can't remember when you got your BFP. try to chill for a few days and then have another go??

But remember that these things really are just an average and your HCG levels just might not be at the high end of the range. Big hugs xxxx

PieMistress · 08/03/2012 08:44

Just wanted to offer some reassurance to tiago, I was warned off doing the CB Digi tests but couldn't help myself! They really aren't the most accurate of pregnancy tests so please please don't worry. I waited until I was 7w then did a 2nd test and got the 3+weeks.

Have you got a date for an early scan? Hugs xx

TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/03/2012 08:45

I shall mostly be waiting for af today, usually start cramping early afternoon bleeding starts evening.

Housework for me today, I am searching for a kitten to join our flock but they are like gold dust around these parts ATM. Hmm

I hope everyone has a lovely day today, I predict mine being slightly grumpy with a guilty side of glee this evening.

Dunnitt · 08/03/2012 09:00

misscoffee thank you. You made me LOL.

Tiago · 08/03/2012 09:44

Thank you. I love you all (really) - you are keeping me sane. Such a relief to hear that it might take a while yet. I'm just so worried that something will go wrong.

I cant actually remember which day I did the first CB. I've indulged my test addiction (fr only) since then and have been attempting to wean myself off testing.

On other news - my cat is back at the vets following another fight. He'll be fine, but I do wish it wasn't 160 pounds a time! I fear he's going to be one of those that never learn to stop fighting.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/03/2012 12:16

Oh my chuff...

Just decided on a whim to use the last clearblue whilst cleaning out cupboard... pregnant 1-2 weeks. Shock

My legs actually buckled, I'm shaking.

MandaHugNKiss · 08/03/2012 12:21

Woohoo for tits!! I mean, y'know, I think tits are great and all - mine have fed al my babies well - but to clarify, Woohoo for TitsalinaBumSquash and her teeny tiny nipple! Just to be sure... as you were clearing out: it was still in date?

And, yes, tiago they are not great at changing on the exact day you think they ought to as a) you don't know exactly when you implantated and b) we all have differing hcg levels in early pregnancy. They Digis with indicators work off an 'average'.

twolittlemonkeys · 08/03/2012 12:22

Wow how exciting Titsalina!

Well I can officially make myself comfy here as my scan today showed a complete miscarriage. Even though I was expecting it I still feel so upset, even more so than last time I MC. I think the scan on Sunday gave me false hope that the pg would continue despite all the bleeding. I really feel completely drained, not to mention hormonal. DH not well so he's in bed and I'm just sitting blubbing. Thankfully a friend has DS2 so I think I'm going to go and sleep it off til the afternoon school run.

MandaHugNKiss · 08/03/2012 12:28

twolittle So sorry it wasn't the good news we all hoped for you. Taking time to wallow in how you feel is quite important, I think.

whatsoever · 08/03/2012 12:44

Congrats tits! And welcome marielisa - sorry for your loss and hope the ERPC goes quickly and smoothly.

I am eating from four different tubs of M&S mini bites today that a colleague brought in as birthday treats, so it's only fair I share them around [profers all four tubs].

whatsoever · 08/03/2012 12:47

twolittle somehow I managed to miss your post when I wrote my last one. Sorry to hear your news, hope you get a really good rest and just let yourself feel. I know that sounds a bit of a silly thing to say but I think we often try and get ourselves "back to normal" too quickly after a loss, when really it's OK to just feel terrible for a bit and get all the hurt out.

MumTumWanted · 08/03/2012 12:54

twolittle So sorry it wasn't the good news. Please look after yourself .

Mrsclairemarie glad you are being referred. I hope they can offer some help

midgetm I too am soooo pleased you are still in the race.

tits yay for yoiu !!! How exciting !!!

im learing to do this name check thing so hope im getting it right ! still mainly lurking but hoping to be joining in the mentallingjoining in the BFP conversations very soon despite crapping myself being concerned over another mc or cp.... as for me af on 24th feb positive opk on 5th march lots of swi over past few days Grin Blush .... Im normally a 15 day LP so 20th march will be d day in my mind Hmm.....

have a good day ladies

MarthasHarbour · 08/03/2012 13:29

gaaaah i have a million posts to catch up on - will be back in a bit!

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TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/03/2012 13:38

twolittle sorry to hear your news, look after yourself sweetheart. hugs

mumtum will keep my fingers crossed for you! Smile

whatso Thanks for the mini bites, I have just scoffed a massive bag of salted popcorn but meh, I was hungery :D

Erm, I am still getting BFNs on internet cheapies, so god knows what's happening there, maybe I got a duff batch, maybe CB is lying, will have to try another brand in a couple days, clear blue was in date and although I didn't use fmu it does 100% say "Pregnant 1-2 weeks" sigh
I told DP anyway, he was very cool and almost non plussed, I should imagine he is doing the internal worrying of last time.

MarthasHarbour · 08/03/2012 13:39

twolittlemonkeys i am so sorry, i know you had a pretty good idea that was the case but it is still hard, i was given false hope by the MW when i had my MC, she said that my cervix was still closed so there was a chance, i just wish she hadnt said that as i was bleeding heavily and had to wait 24 hours for a scan (also in the regular ante natal unit Sad ) you just look after yourself.

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MarthasHarbour · 08/03/2012 13:42

tits i farking told you so, never mind the ICs or the CB digis, just use me as a PG test (actually dont - i dont want you all urinating on me Hmm )

ICs are crap - i am not buying any more as i ended up taking mine to bits to check for a non existent line! you are so PG and i told you so 2 weeks ago! yayyy

well we had some well timed SWI on Tuesday night, it was CD11 and i felt the OV pain the next morning, he was at the pub last night Hmm so we are going to have another go tonight Grin i am going to have nerves of steel and not test until Saturday 24th as that would be CD29, so i have a long wait yet!

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