Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the shiny new baby-friendly MOSH PIT.

[MarthasHarbour]

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your METALLING moments. All welcome!

Our last thread reached 1000 posts so i hope you have all found your way here! I have steaming hot chocolate croissants (or as my colleague said 'chocolate pasties'), blueberry muffins, grapefruit segments and hot buttered toast for brekkie!

Settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

Manda, hope all is going ok for you right now.

missCcongrats on the scan!! Glad all was well with you and your girl I get hopelessly attached whenever I get a BFP and speak to the baby too I have had 8 broken hearts but I can't help it. It's not in me to not love my babies, whether that's at 5 weeks, 14 weeks or a strapping 6yo DD!

projectcongrats on your BFP

Oh msC I am sorry, I have read back over what I have written, and it is very doomy indeed, particularly given you have had a good scan. I think in a way I was writing it to myself. Having a sort of down day because I am so worried about this pregnancy, even though it feels different. I am already a bit attached, and I am scared. But I do keep reminding myself it's ok to love this one, even though I know only too well what could go wrong. Just have to live with the loss of my two, and of my pregnancy innocence. It does feel like my DD pregnancy physically, but mentally it is a world away.

Glad your scan went well miss c.

Congrats project!! Glad to see sods law in action! I am sure you will have a lovely holiday.

They didn't say what was causing the bleeding but they didn't think it was anything to worry about. The bleeding was low down in my uterus and the baby was higher up out of the way. I was scanned by a consultant and senior registrar so I felt pretty confident with their opinions. They want me to go back in two weeks to see if bleeding has stopped so I can start the injections. I will be seeing my own consultant next time as well. One thing that pissed me off yesterday was having to go through my history with the nurse at epu. Why can they not just see on my records what my history is?

Glad scans for both MissC and Pebspop seem positive. God knows why they made you repeat your history. I just tell them I can't recall it all as it has all merged into one if they pester me - that way they have to do the reading themselves.

Nomoremarbles I am the same. Get attached from the minute I am up duffed (having been pregnant so many times I recognise the symptoms pretty much from sperm meets egg). My husband always tells me I must not do this. He remains as distant as he can from it for self preservation. Secretly I have a name list in my head and I know at 6w this is bloody foolish but hope is my friend even if reality slaps me around a bit. I swing as wildly from pessimism to hope as I do from laughter to tears with these crazy pregnancy hormones.

My spotting seems to have stopped. Only 5 more sleeps till I should have an idea if this one is beginning to stick. Why the hell I am full of hope and putting my faith in aspirin I do not know. I am a daft cow. If this one fails I think I will go private and get the killer cell test. Can't help suspecting that this may be my cause. Although how my DD made it through my inhospitable womb I will never know. She is a proper miracle. Good news is I feel rough as rough can be. Nauseous and tired and swollen. I would love it if I did puke as I would take it as a sign that the force is strong with this bean. Don't know why I take reassurance from symptoms though as have had them strongly before and still lost. Rambling now. Need to unleash the madness somehow...

Mainly I think I can handle trying, that I have a lid on the pain and the worry. Then I realise I am kidding myself, the hormones kick in and it all seems so bloody overwhelming. The shit we put ourselves through eh? We are blinking masochists!

Feel much better now I have unloaded that. Hope I haven't depressed you all.

midgetm and jaffa I can go to normal antenatal threads for unbridled optimism and 'everything will be ok'. Not that I'm pregnant anymore, but you know what I mean. I can come here for a bit of realism.

jaffa what you said about some love not being easy to give, it really struck a chord. I'm still struggling with losing the ectopic pregnancy - can't quite decide if it was a baby or not, if it was my baby or not. As soon as I had the BFP, I knew it was going to be a rubbish time, so I never really properly dared to believe. People keep talking about the future, 'we'll go out for lunch'....'what do you want to do tomorrow'....'let's go out for a drink'. They just don't seem to understand my state of mind if they think I'm up for 'just going out for lunch'.

Afternoon ladies!!!

hope everyone is well this fine saturday

So some news...I just got BFP on a CB+ test I showed DH and he said "what does the vertical line there mean (on the +bit)? I said so im not seeing things then and he said no I can see a plus does that mean positive? I'm in shock but not really and its the first cycle with the B100 and D3 too! What do I do? Keep taking them or do I stop now? I'm a bit excited now as I never get as far as a BFP on a CB test HCG is always too low!!

NoMoreMarbles Congratulations! Can't help with any of the other questions but seemed rude not to pass you my best. Scary but exciting in equal meansure. Bg hugs.

marbles!! that's brilliant news!! I'm sticking around here, I think there's something in the water!!!

I'm feeling better today, DD has come back from my parents, just looking at her lovely face makes me feel I've done something right

Congrats to all the BFPs!

I am feeling sleepy, crampy and fully "meh" today.
Really need something to bring me out this fug. Chocolate isn't working!

That's excellent Marbles. I know that midwives now recommend that we all take vitamin D (is that the same as D3?) anyway, so continuing with the vits is more likely to help than hinder.

Midget my DH is also trying to be a bit detached. I got cross with him about it until he said that he was doubly worried - for both the baby and for me - and he while he really really wants it all to work out, he needs to be able to look after me and to be strong if it all went wrong.

I'm sorry that you are feeling so torn tas but I think I do understand what you mean.

I am still feeling pretty positive (though my boob-ache is an on-off thing and I'd love to know if anyone else has/had this?). It's too early for m/sickness, but I wish it wasn't just so that I could feel reassured. I'm now up to test number 6 and have bought 4 more for the paranoia that will inevitably kick in again soon (I hope to make it to monday before having to POAS again) and I still have another clear blue on which I am hoping for a 3+ weeks some tim around next Friday. The best bit is that, for once, my test lines are coming through clearer and stronger than the control lines. Following metalling where I wondered if, actually, they had just put the test paper in the wrong way round - I know, I know, I am officially insane - I am now swinging between hope and what can only be described as abject fear.

Congratulations marbles and Project! so much good news!

Welcome dunnit!

tiago, my boob ache seems to fluctuate quite a lot from dull ache that can be ignored, to very sore when there is any jiggling at all. I am trying to tell myself that morning sickness goes in waves, so this could too?

Manda, thinking about you. Hope you are in Butlins this weekend and that all is well.

tas hope you are ok. I guess you need lots of time and gentleness to let your mind and body heal. I am so glad you are feeling a bit better today!

I have had a good day too with my little DD. She gives me so much joy, which really helps to deal with the tough times. I am feeling much less conflicted today about this little one. I am going to try and will them along, from one milestone to the next, and just hope for the best.

I posted this message on a different thread but havr just found this one and wanted to say hello and can I please join? I was on the October 2012 bus but miscarried last weekend at 8 weeks. I has an ERPC on Tuesday, and am just starting to get myself together. It came as such a shock, and I had no idea how physically and emotionally devastating a mc would be.

Please be gentle with me as I am struggling with how upset and hurt I feel, but I have lots of questions an would be really grateful for some advice and some positive stories.

Questions:
I know it will be different for everyone, but what happened to people's cycles following mc. Ie did you count mc as first day of cycle (as you would AF) and then did you ovulate two weeks later? Or does it all completely change?

Did you wait a cycle before ttc? And for those who didn't wait, did you conceive?

If it was your first mc, did you seek any expert medical advice to try and find out why it had happened, or did you accept it as bad luck ad just move on?

And following mc, did you start eating or taking anything (vitamins etc) rumoured to enhance fertility?

Sorry for so many questions. I am struggling to know who to ask these things, and what I need right now more than anything in the world is some hope for the future that I will get pregnant again and go in to have a baby. I don't want to feel like this forever.

I am 38, and I have a 3 year old dc

Sorry to post such a long message first time

odaat Welcome, sorry you have to be here and so sorry to hear about your loss
I personally have had 7 early miscarriages, all arounf 8-9 weeks and one slightly later one at 12 weeks with twins.

I have always been told to leave a whole cycle after a mc, it gives your body time to heal and the hormones to settle down.
I was only offered a consultant apt after 3 mcs but I think this may be different depending on where you live.

Look after yourself sweetheart, take each dya hour by hour and give yourself time to grieve and adjust.

Does anyone find that af signs change with each cycle? I have always had exactly the same, every cycle, 2 days before af I get cramps and pmt about 3-4 days before.
However I have sore boobs, really sore but combined with back/hip ache and pmt. I am not due on until Wed, if it were just the boobs I would think it was a pg symptom but the cramps suggest otherwise?

So Sorry for your loss. I hope you are being well looked after and allowing yourself to grieve.. This thread contains people who know what you are going through and I'm sure can answer your questions that I can't. My DD sleeping next to me was conceived straight after a rather complicated mc (ended in infection and then ERPC and took months. You are said to be more fertile straight after but you just can't really date it as accurately. The way NICE guidelines see it up to 3 miscarriages is just bad luck. Anything after that gets investigated. Nothing to stop you going private although as so many pregnancies end in mc you may be wasting your money. I know it doesn't seem normal now but a lot of women have at least one mc and nearly all go on to have subsequent successful pregnancies. Statistics are on your side
I can't help with ovulation. I get pregnant at the drop of a hat, just have a problem getting them to stick. So i don't chart and never have. I am sure the others on here will know more..
I've also never taken additional vitamins of changed my diet but again, others have and will be able to give you more detail. I have come to realise that for me it is nothing I eat or don't eat but something my body does as a reaction to pregnancy but all of our circumstances are different. Take care. (sorry for rubbish spelling using my iPhone)

Hi oneday, we are the same age with the same age DC. So sorry you have to join us, I know how awful a mc can be, I had a mmc in Nov last year (as well as a mc years ago).

My cycles after the mmc were very unpredictable, my first period came about 5 weeks after my mmc. We didn't wait TTC and it took about 3 mths to conceive again. Sadly it didn't turn out well but I was very unlucky. They won't do any tests where I live until you have 3 mc in a row. That sounds harsh, considering the turmoil you go through, but most people I know went onto conceive successfully after their mc. I found the TTC after the mmc almost as stressful as the mmc itself, I was so desperate for another baby, so I would take it very easy and make sure that you have lots of opportunities for relaxing and TLC (not always that easy with a 3 yr old I know!). I didn't take any meds, just starflower oil (I have irregular cycles) and conception vits, and B vits. I also had acupuncture (but I have mixed feelings about that after my recent ectopic).

You're still in the first days of that awful, awful shock and grief, I can pretty much guarantee you won't feel like this forever. One thing someone on MN told me is they had bad PMT after their mc, which was good to know as it was quite intense. Sorry that's not very reassuring, but better to know! Take care x

ps is there an update on who's got BFPs, how far along people are, I have totally lost track, with all the rush of good news (oneday stick around, there's something in the water/ether/bandwidth around here!)

Oneday sorry you have had to join us but you have found the right place. Between us I think we must know every thing about mc and ttc after mc!

After my first mc I felt like I was the only person in the world to go through this. I started reading forums and saw how many people have one mc then a successful ph next time and it really gave me hope. Unfortunately it happened again on my second pg at 20 weeks so I was investigated and found I get blood clots in my placenta. I am now taking aspirin in this current pg. I have everything crossed it will be ok.

If you are interested there is a good book called miscarriage: what every woman should know by Lesley regan it is well written and explains loads about mc. You can pick it up cheap on amazon. It was my bible after my second mc.

The first cycle after mc can be confusing and your body seems to go crazy. We call it the WTF cycle on here as anything can happen and it's all normal! I would wait for af to come and make sure you get a negative pg test before you start trying. The hormones can hang around for a good while and you don't want to get excited to see a bfp when it's just left over from mc.

Stick around though we have had loads of bfps this last few weeks

pebspop SNAP. I have the same issue. The latest I have lost though is 12 weeks. Loosing at 20weeks must have been horrific. I always used to think I was hard done by but now I see how many ladies have experienced much worse than me I have stopped feeling quite so sorry for little old me. Currently on 150mg of asprin. Freaked out this morning as had a bloody clot in my nose (sorry TMI - gross) and started to imaging that I need to jab myself with herprin. Nothing like thinking you are virtually a doctor. Except a paranoid one. Due to see Prof Regan on Wednesday so I am holding fire on the self medicating! I find it comforting/annoying/bizarre in equal measure that something as simple as asprin can stop us loosing babies. I actually took it (again self medicating) for the first 3 months of my one successfull DD on the advice of a friend. I do think it is the thing that made the difference.

Congratulations to all the bfps!

oneday sorry for your loss. I've had two early mc and one at 20 weeks, we never had any tests for the early mc. I didn't wait a cycle after my 2nd mc and fell pg with ds 3 within 8 weeks.

I fell pg with ds4 who I lost at 20 weeks, 8 weeks after ds3 was born. I seem to get pg easier when ttc straight away.

I've never taken any other medication, although it seems lots of people use extra vits or aspirin so I'm wondering if maybe I should do the same if anyone has any advice

Well me and dp spoke last night and he's as worried as me about what well happen if I fall pg again, were worrying about the stitch I'll be having and if maybe I should try for a different one.

I was considering the extra vits, I know I have to take heparin injections during pg but many aspirin would help until that point?
I have really bad low iron levels so maybe getting them sorted is a good idea.

fab news marbles

tas there's the stats thread but I think most like to leave adding BFPs until they feel a bit more real/safe?

oneday welcome and I'm sorry about your MC. My cycles have always gone back to normal straight away after MC but I've been lucky enough to avoid surgical intervention or infections so far. I didn't wait to TTC and I did conceive less than 3 weeks after my first MC at 14 weeks and carried that pregnancy successfully to term (my DD) I lost my DS after that at 17 weeks, again didn't wait to TTC but took a tiny bit longer to conceive again, about 10 weeks that time, two normal cycles post MC, I'm pregnant now, 13 weeks, and trying to take it slowly.

I put my first MC down to bad luck, but had a post-mortem after my later one which showed a perfectly healthy baby, there are theories about uterine abnormality but really it's just chance and keeping an eye on it. I think you'd struggle to get answers if you tried to investigate, as hard as I know it is. They say most early MC are chromosomal, just an unfortunate pairing, never destined to make it, chances are excellent that you'd go on to have a healthy baby in the future. I think it's when they become recurrent that there are things to be done. But I'm definitely not the expert round these parts.

I don't even take the B vits

Brown spotting started this morning not feeling particularly positive about things today.

nomoremarbles I've had it to with this one but for some reason not convinced it is sinister. Not sure if being positive or foolish or somewhere inbetween but know worrying about it won't change the outcome. Sending you huge waves of empathy. I don't think there is an icon for that x

Oh Marbles, it's such a horrible time isn't it? Hope it all works out ok for you xx