TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Nelly you have no idea how much I am missing wine. It is pretty much my only vice forgets about copious amounts of chocolate and cake . In some ways I would love it not to help, iykwim, but of course I do want it to work so I get a bloody baybee after all this time! I did quite a lot of internet research and there is so much out there on alcohol and in studies related to IVF it does seem to have a pretty big impact on success rates. But I would much prefer to be one of those ladies who gets trollied and upduffed!

It's definitely not unreasonable to chase your referral. Remember, mine was lost twice! That would have set my first fertility clinic appointment back by months had the GP's receptionist not done a fab job of pushing for an earlier appointment as it was their cockup.

mini sorry to hear that. It has had the opposite effect for me (but it has been a gradual change over a few months).

Wine it's interesting that it has been one a month. That is pleasingly slow but steady. (But a bit of a contrast to the buses where 20 people seem to get a BFP on their first attempt.)

Oh shit - just read the thread on giving up booze when ttc and it sounds like I really should. DH has decided to do so, so guess I should join him [sulky face] euro I totally love my wine too and many of our holidays are spent tasting/buying/drinking wine in the south of France. Did your research suggest it should be cut out just during the ivf cycle or in the preceeding cycles desperately clutching at straws. I have massively cut down how much I drink, but still have the odd glass. Just talking about it makes me want to have a glass when I get in! Argh, this'll be one unhappy pigdog without her wine!

Oh I remember that Euro -that sounded like hell. I am shuffling around the place and it's particularly painful when I have to get up from a chair. Off to bathe in a bath now. Really don't want to have to go the docs on this one so hoping it will shrink on its own .

I have basically given up booze. I miss being able to let my hair down and guzzle a few bottles and stumble home. I have vowed to myself that when i have a baby and when I finish breast feeding, I'll be going to get trashed and will party until dawn- just like a responsible mother. It would be amazing to go out an have proper fun without having the TTC cloud looming overhead. I find It's just always there spoiling my fun .

Wine - omg about your dream. Does t this just mess with your head! This thread is just about a year old now. It started in March last year. God I hope that we will all be on a neurotic pregnancy thread by this time next year. I don't want to be going into my 4th year of trying.

Mini - urgh sorry about AF. I think acu takes quite a few sessions to make a positive difference. Sorry you are having a bad one.

Just a quick post to say 15 minutes until my trigger shot and the EC is all go on Friday morning

Thanks for all the good lucks, will update properly tomorrow

Just a quick post about blood donating. I asked at my last session and the response was kinda oh so you don't want me then. She said ' you can't give blood for each week that you are pg and we don't like you giving blood when you are ttc cause you need your blood/iron.'

Thanks again for all your thoughts, prayers and good wishes ? you?re all too lovely and it really makes such a difference seeing your messages, especially as I?ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster?

Until yesterday I thought I?d managed to get myself into a pretty sane place. I've had some very light coloured brown spotting when I wipe, which has faded to nothing. Then in the afternoon I went to the loo and when I wiped there was bright red blood. Cue floods of tears for a good while and I felt like all my sanity had disappeared. But then nothing since?!? Now I?m mentalling away ? is this a pre-cursor to AF, which in a normal month would be due today, or was it implantation? Aaargh! So now instead of being vaguely productive, I?m on constant knicker watch.

I?ve got the appt for the blood test on Tuesday, though after yesterday that?s feeling like a long way away. DH and I have agreed that if I get to Monday with no AF, I?ll do a HPT. Think I?d rather find out when it?s just us rather than having to ring a nurse to find out. I don?t know if this is sensible though?!? Again, argh!mrsden ? I now have the joy of progesterone pessaries every evening. TMI but they then seem to leak out all day, thought the nurses have assured me this is just the waxy coating and not the progesterone.

fatima ? Great news about EC tomorrow ? lots and lots of luck and hope the trigger shot went ok. Are you still bloated? I felt exactly the same and couldn?t wait for EC ? leggings were my friend that week.

mini ? sorry about AF, I hope it?s a little better today. Your acupuncture might be responsible for all the ?sludge? you described ? my acu tried to clear me out (sorry) when I first started and I had a similar experience. Things have settled down since.

wellieboots ? thank you for sharing your story, congratulations!

pout ?Sorry you?re stressing about your appt, my only advice would be to take all the information you can and write questions down before hand. I think I?ve said before that I?m not very good around clinical people so I find that prep is very helpful!

euro ? your holiday sounds perfect, very jealous! Sounds like you?ve got yourself in a good place, last is definitely best as joycep says ? we can learn from mistakes made by others and take things at our own pace.

nelly ? I?d chase that appointment, efficiency isn?t the first word that springs to mind when I think of public services!

whatmess ? so sorry about your rubbish experience at the hospital. I?m not sure I?d have survived that many attempts at blood being taken. I hope they come up with a solution for you.

kitty ? ooh, your mini break sounds lovely. Though I?m sorry you couldn?t switch off from ttc. And at another one of those nosey, irrelevant questionnaires and the ?MIL says relax? chat.

wine ? more waiting, I?m sorry. It sounds like you have found a caring nurse there, which makes things easier but still it?s a long time to wait. at your dream, though I quite like the idea of a Gandalf God

joycep ? glad you?re feeling better about things but sorry about your bottom problems, I hope it clears up of its own accord.

gin ? I too am looking decidedly pigdoggish this week, been too busy looking at my knickers to take notice of my face/hair/general appearance

A BFP a month is good going, I reckon ? nice stats calculation wine

On the drinking and ttc front, there?s some research that says white wine has a particularly bad effect on IVF cycles ? not sure about ttc generally. Joycep ? I?ll be joining you on getting trollied when we have babies, there?s been zero booze here since early January.

Hope the sun is shining where everyone is today - it's beautiful here. May venture out and drag myself away from evil Google

You'd think I'd said enough in that essay but I also wondered where karbea was? Hope she's getting on ok with down-regging and is maybe onto the next stage now?

hang on in there ladygee you're doing so well. I reckon if it hasn't turned into AF then the bleed means nothing. Keeping everything crossed for you.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow fatima, do come back and tell us how many millions of eggs they collected. I hope you don't stay uncomfortable for long.

joycep how are you today? I totally sympathise with you, it's awful and embarrassing to have problems "down there". Hopefully the cream will do the trick. I think they say you shouldn't give blood if there is a possibility you are pregnant so not sure where that leaves us long term ttcers. I can't give blood over here because they have a ban on British people because of BSE . My dad had an op a couple of years ago and needed 8 pints which saved his life and another friend needed several pints after giving birth so it is so vital. I remember once a blood donation nurse telling me that everything they collected that day would be all used up 24 hours later. Quite astonishing to think how much is needed.

euro and gin I don't really drink but it's done us no good. DH has the odd lager and glass of wine and I would feel cruel telling him to give that up. But maybe I should.

I'm very jealous of your holiday plans euro. I think waiting another cycle or two won't make any difference and it's better to approach ivf post holiday and in relaxed mood.

When do you see the gynae pout I second ladygee that you should write down the questions you want answered. My mind always goes blank in those situations. If he/she says you haven't got endo ask why they say that.

euro I like your positive thinking. I've also come to realise that it doesn't matter that I'm last. In a way it is much easier now everyone else in my life has done it because I'm not on tenterhooks waiting for the next announcement. I feel like that now though because I'm in the positive bit of my cycle. I'll feel totally different in the few days before AF.

I'm impressed with the stats wine. One a month doesn't sound too bad. Although compared to the buses it's crap. And now I've hit month 20 I'd really like to see examples of people who get a BFP after that long. I think a few on this thread were around the 1 year mark.

I had an email from a friend in the UK. Actually, she's not really a friend as such but someone I worked with a long time ago. We email each other now and again. Anyway, she had a baby in July a year after getting married so the email was full of baby news. At the end she said (and I quote directly) "Do write back with all your news. Is there no news of a baby den yet???? You've been married for years now so I thought there would be a baby by now, come on what are you waiting for? You don't want to be one of those women who leave it too late!!!!!!!"

What a cow. She is not getting a response.

Oh mrsd what an insensitive cow your "friend" is. Some people just don't think, do they?

Fatima I hope EC goes well.

ladygee I'm on the progesterone pessaries too (i'm trying them alongside the superovulation programme this month). They are absolutely vile, aren't they? I insert them just before I go to bed, which means most (but not all) of the sludge is out before my morning shower. Why can't we just pop a pill?

joycep I hope you are feeling a little better today.

I'm curious now, where are the pessaries inserted? Front or back?

Ah, mrsd - what a silly woman. I can't imagine what you thought when you read it. My immediate thought was f* off. Not replying is the best response.

The delightful little things go in the front end, mrsd

euro - so you too have the joy of the waxy tampons. I use them in before bed too. What I wouldn't give to pop a pill! As if knicker-watch isn't bad enough, the waxy sludge makes it even harder to figure out what's going on!

mrsd you can go either way, apparently. I use the front door as I suffer with IVF and piles so I really don't want to aggravate the back!

ladygee I have everything crossed for you I really do. I second mrsd that if it isn't proper then it doesn't count. Hold on tight little egglet.

Mrsd face at your friend!! How very dare she.

I'm not overly pleased with the white wine research. Why does white wine have to be the bad guy?! I am yet to go a month boozeless. I stick to my ten units a week and that really isn't very much. I will go boozeless eventually. But for now, in my current lumpy barren state it feels rather fruitless. I'm miserable enough without sacrificing something I love.

Speaking of wine.. kitty and I confirmed suspicions that we go to the same acu clinic though a direct message, we suspected as much as we live very close to each other. So last night we were very brave and met up for a glass of wine. It was so nice! Aside from the fact that kitty is very lovely and beautiful, it was a real comfort to finally finally chat about this ttc malarkey in the real world with a real person who wholly understands. No matter what happens I will always feel that you lot, even if you all end with babbits and I don't, would hold my hand when I'm blue. It feels as if there should be some good things to come out of the ttc woes and I think more friends is a nice bonus. Sooo...we wondered if more of you would be interested in a bigger meet up at some point in spring/summer? I know the logistics might need a bit of thinking about as we are all rather far flung but I'm sure we could sort something out? If you feel up for that then maybe we could sort stuff out through messaging or something? It really wasn't scary

oh mrsden at the email. it does sometimes seem like those who've had no issues ttcing are incapable of imagining that others might be different.

I got asked "what are you waiting for" last year. My fairly curt reply was "fertility". I think that's the first time I was open about it actually - word must have got round as haven't had any similar questions since.

ladygee fingers crossed for you. I reckon the brown at the start was probably just from a bit of irritation after the procedure and the red does sound like implantation bleeding... here's hoping anyway. I agree about doing the HPT.

That's interesting about acupuncture "clearing you out" re AF. Hope it makes a difference in future. I feel a total wuss for whining about period pains but they were really dreadful! Thanks everyone for the sympathy.

fatima best of luck for egg collection! does that mean you get to stop the injections or is there more for you to do?

joyce I hope your bottom gets better - you have been in the wars, poor you. takes the mind off TTCing I guess?!?

Gin at pigdog. I think I'd struggle to give up alcohol entirely too. If I was doing ivf I would do, but we're a way off that yet (2 yr waiting list in my area...) I don't drink lots but have a glass or three at the weekends usually.

nelly I have just chased about my own referral (4 weeks since I saw the GP) so I reckon you should chase! as you say, how hard can it be

wine that's interesing about one a month. I haven't been on the thread very long so haven't seen any of the BFPs - so that is nice to hear! what will all the ivf-ers I wonder if we might increase that average...

Your dream sounds like a nice pg dream. I don't think I've ever had a pg dream actually, not sure what that says .

euro I do understand what you mean about the "relief" of everyone else having had babies already. I'm not in that position (still got announcements popping up on a regular basis...). But I remember when we first started ttcing, I felt real pressure for it to work quickly because then I would be on mat leave at the same time(ish) as friends who were pg at the time. I have now missed that boat by a long way and in a way it's a relief as there is no particular time pressure.

IVF is obviously on my brain. I meant IBS!

wine that must have been so lovely for you and kitty to meet. I would love to talk about all this with someone in RL. Of course, living abroad it probably won't work out for me to meet with you. Although, I am in the UK for a few weeks in late spring/early summer due to family commitments so possibly it might fit in. I think the nicest thing about meeting up with others going through the same thing would be to realise that we don't all have barren stamped across our forehead and that we are all totally normal people.

Of course we'll all be pregnant by the summer though, so it would be a bumps meeting.

I am not going to respond to my "friend". She always was a nosy cow and was a bit of a pain to work with tbh. She had her baby exactly a year after getting married, so I think it must have been an easy conception. It won't have entered her head that people have trouble conceiving.

Quick phone post! ladygee you are doing so so well. Not long to go, hang in there.

mrsd at your friend. What is wrong with people, why is it so hard to imagine that some people might struggle to conceive? Hope you are ok.

euro I totally get what you mean about it being a relief that you're the last. I can imagine it feeling like that. In a funny way it takes the pressure off doesn't it.

joyce hope you are doing ok?

Big ivf good luck waves to karbea and fatima, and everyone else.

It was really reallylovely to meet wine last night and to have a couple of glasses of real life . She ain't no pig dog that's for sure It would be lovely to see some of you other ladies one day So nice to meet someone who understands but also to get to know a 10+er better, aside from ttc. Without wanting to sound sappy there is so much more to us all than just our infertility problems, I have to remind myself sometimes.

Hugs to all.

Oh lady - it just makes me feel sick with nerves on your behalf when reading your post. Pregnant people can have a lot of bleeds and sometimes lots of them so i am hoping and praying for you.

Thanks cake , i have tried doing a bit of research and i have found that if you are ttc , it is best avoided to give blood but the iron link is interestin.

mrsd - at the bse thing . how outdated is that?! I?m also horrified at your ?friend?. I?m seeing . Here is an example of a woman who belongs to the coven. Who the hell writes that? Totally agree MrsD ? no response to this cow.

wine and kitty - can?t believe you girls met in RL! How wonderful and must be so comforting to talk to each other and know each others real name? i think that?s one of the hardest things, not having anyone in the same boat in RL to talk to. It?s funny because we have all been here for so long now , sharing our woes , holding each others hands, I do kind of think of you all as friends which is strange considering we?ve never met! I have images in my mind of what I think you all look like ? all very pretty and beautiful images!
Anyway, I would definitely be up for some get together and would be great when MrsD is over. As Kitty says there is defintely more to us than infertility issues...there are haemmoroids, constipation, snake oil consumption ? we?ve been through a lot

Sat in the bath last night and i?ve smothered myself in anusol. There is definitely an improvement in pain level today so thanks for the handy tips everyone. Will limit my TMI just in case we do end up meeting.

I was told to use back door for my progesterone suppositories. I think there is less mess but it may not get absorbed as easily that way but i may be wrong.

Lots of ladies on the Pred thread are on progesterone and there have been some discussions on there about the least worst location to use it!

I think I could cope with the front end. But never having inserted anything in the back way, I'm not sure I could do that.

That sentence sounds all wrong.

That was my thinking too, mrsd

wine - don't worry about the white wine research, I've double-checked and it was only done with women drinking white wine in the weeks leading up to IVF not ttc generally!

Would love to meet up with you lovely ladies. I too think of you as friends and it would be lovely to get together and get to know you as RL people.

joycep at your list of other things we've shared!

Thanks for all your supportive words, it's really lifted my spirits.

at the snake oil consumption joyce ...I feel I should add to your list 'the upholding of the entire uk acupuncture industry'

Well ladies you lot have really made me . I love the idea of a meet up, but it's hilarious at the same time we are having an anonymous conversation about whether to shove a pill up your fanjo or your arse

I also believe that technically speaking it's a pessary if it's shoved up your front and a suppository if it goes in the back door.

Sometimes I wish I never ever had to learn these things!

So back to the thread. minipie sorry about the painful AF and cramps. Interesting how acu has affected you, and also that this is possibly it clearing you out. I have been meaning to get some acu sorted for ages as there seems to be so much anecdotal support for it on here. I hope it has a more positive impact for you soon though.

euro I greatlyadmire your wine-free resolve! I am honestly not sure if I can manage it. I mentioned it to OH last night (I had a mini-meltdown at him, had to explain that I was still feeling sensitive about Sunday's PG announcement, and warned him that I was considering going alcohol free for a bit). He was understanding, it was late though so we didn't talk it through much. The thing is, I honestly don't know if I can do it . The thought of being alcohol free during pregnant and potentially BF is already making me nervous! Anyway I have been alcohol free since Monday. Due to OV pretty soon (starting to feel pains) so am going to try my best to stay wine free until ERTD arrives, and see how it goes. Sigh. Though in any case I am going to follow joycep's plan of being a party mum after this hell is all over . Glad you are feeling some relief now. One of the creams (might be the Boots one) has lidocaine which numbs the area.

wine one a month success rate seems not bad for us ladies. Agree with all the others re buses, but I reckon we all know we are past that stage, unfortunately. I also wanted to say you have been especially lovely to everyone lately :) Your posts have been so positive and caring, it's amazing to read. Well done too on meeting kitty, I do think it's a bit scary, but a great plan to meet up if we can. I'm guessing the great Metropolis of Londinium makes most sense, so I'd need to take a trip. Would have to explain that one to OH in an interesting fashion!

ladygee I am keeping everything tightly crossed for you. I can imagine the spotting was hellishly scary, it's bad enough on a normal month. It's not over yet though, I so so hope it happens for you. How does the timing work then? Normally you'd expect to see AF 14 days from OV. Is that the same as 14 days from trigger shot, thereabouts? In which case, why do they not test until next week? I am completely clueless on IVF so far. . I was also wondering about karbea, hope you are ok if you are lurking out there.

fatima how exciting for tomorrow! I hope it goes ok, that you get heaps of little eggies, and that it's not too uncomfortable.

mrsden I too am at your friend. For a minute, I tried to be understanding, and give her the benefit of the doubt. After all, if you haven't experienced what we have, it's possible to be blind to the fact that others may have trouble. But then I thought nah, she doesn't deserve such tolerance, so into the Coven she goes. It's a bit like Room 101 isn't it?! What a twunt.

Re the referral, I have read the letter again. It says I will hear 6 weeks before the appointment, which has a 12 week wait time. So that means I shouldn't expect to hear for another 3 weeks . It says to contact them if you haven't heard within 8 weeks. But I'm going to call anyway "just to check that they received my form". I might stress that I am a haggard old trout and that they perhaps might consider speeding the process up whilst I'm on the phone anyway .

Hungry - must go and eat lunch! Which makes me think of PigDogs. It's really just a sausage in a bun, no? .

Afternoon all. I'm trying to have a quick post lunch catch up, but will have to keep this quite short. News for me is no news at all, still in 2 ww, still no symptoms at all. Feeling otherwise very tired, and have a sore back. This is likely due to getting up early yesterday morning and going swimming before work.

Lady do they give you any warnings or information on what might happen? Like suggesting you may get implantation bleeding? It's not over till it's over though, and a small bleed (though scary) definitely doesn't mean it's failed. Tuesday seems like ages away, I think I'd probably be testing every day but that way surely lies madness!

I met up with Runnerhasbeen over the weekend, an early graduate of this thread. Was lovely to meet with her and her adorable baby. Having baby cuddles at the same time as talking to someone who knows what it's like was a slightly surreal situation, but good.

Got to take a break, hand is aching. Have Dr appointment tomorrow to confirm what the problem might be.

Ooh, like the idea of a meet up. Especially if it's in London

If we do meet, I may have to stop myself from looking at joyce's bottom now that I know so much about it

We will have to put wee sticks in our top pockets and maybe a tube of anusol as well... And as you say mrsden we'll all have bumps by then so that can be another way to identify each other.