TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Gin I think it is usually done pre-IVF simply because if the tubes are the problem, resolving that might be a cheaper and easier route to conception than IVF. But as IVF bypasses the tubes (and was originally designed for tube problems) it shouldn't be necessary. But a HSG is nothing to fear. Honestly.

Fatima I hope you feel better soon.

gin I have to have a hsg before IVF because for some reason they're not allowed to do IVF over here until you've had all fertility investigations. I guess to prove that it is needed and not being done on a whim. Which seems pretty stupid in our case when the SA shows that ICSI is needed regardless of my results. It's probably different in the UK.

Hope you feel better soon fatima. So far I've managed to escape a cold this year but I'll probably end up with a very annoying summer cold instead. Make sure you rest up.

I've decided not to temp this month so I have no idea if I'm pre or post ovulation. I figured I might as well try one month where I am totally relaxed and paying no attention to days to see if that makes any difference.

lisa my acupuncturist didn't do any of the herbs or electrical current or cups. She first put needles in my back (she said because it was my first time, she wanted to do this as a "detox" ie to check for any blockages or something like that). Then she put some in my shoulders as an immune system boost. Then in two places in my feet. She didn't leave them in long.

She also asked me looads of questions about my cycles, diet, history, emotional status etc etc.

Gin I wouldn't say it was relaxing exactly... but it is interesting. Hurts a little bit but no more than plucking eyebrows or something!

minipie thanks I was just curious as to what others were experiences with it, you're not missing out on anything with the cupping and the herbs

fatima I can sympathise with the cold, I feel like crap

gin i'm in touch with the midwife so i'll try and find out if there is someone else I deal with. The needles don't hurt really the cupping is more painful to me

euro glad to hear about the acu, i'm hoping it will help especially with my migraines

Hi girls.
lemon - so sorry about your accident . I hope you mend very soon.
wine - thought of you last night, sorry to creep you out but i am reading a book called ?What Your Doctor May never tell you about the pre-menopause?. Mr Woo told me to buy the Menopause version but I don?t think he knew about this one and don?t feel like i?m at that menopause stage!). Anyway there is quite a lot of info and case studies in there about women with fibroids. Apparently natural progesterone can shrink fibroids from the size of an orange down to the size of a walnut. I think it had some other pointers as well like avoiding dairy. Well you know what all these books are like and i know you are just getting the beast out so probably pointless me telling you all that.
It?s actually an interesting read and bangs on about clotty periods and sore breasts. I have to say my last AF was hardly clotty at all after using progesterone cream.
mrsd - i totally understand the anger at the amount of money we all have to spend to get pregnant when other people just spend a few quid on folic acid. As someone else said it is a bit like gambling as there is no guarantee. Already DH and i have lost £8k on all our treatment last year and i worry that this is a slippery road to financial ruin and disappointment.
carebear - how sweet of you and i am so sorry what you are going through. I am tinkering with my diet and my hormones at the moment so I may contact you if...ok when that all fails miserably!
stasi - good luck with your hsg!
lisa - still can?t believe how you were made to feel. This seems to be so common that it is almost unsurprising. Considering that doctors/nurses are all in the care profession, it is quite incredible how many of them just don?t seem to care. Grr
mini - i hope you found acupuncture soothing. I found it quite strange the first time i went. It was the most woo thing i had ever done (ahhh that was the early days) but i found it nicer the second time.
nelly at skiing trip. I wanna go!
I read that thread everyone has been talking about. I wasn?t particular offended by the person?s question, I just sort of roll my eye balls at it now but it was some of the awful undertones which i despise. It did remind me of an article i had read by Nia Vardalos who was the writer and actress of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. She referred to some of those women she came across whilst she was struggling to conceive as The Coven. Those women who go out of their way to point out that they are superior to you because they can breed and you can?t. Anyway, the thread reminded me of that. Anyway the article is quite good really - bit.ly/asEHkF
Sorry to all you ladies with colds...this is very bizarre but i have been trying to catch one. Everyone has had one in the office bar me and I can?t even catch my Dh?s....indicative of high NK cells me thinks.

your lack of cold catching might be down to the vitamins joycep. I haven't had a cold in ages, but I don't think I have any reason to suspect high nk. That book sounds interesting, I don't think I could bare to buy a book on the menopause either, just like I can't join the infertility board.

The OP's question didn't bother me either, it was more the tone of some later responses and in some of the AIBU thread that spawned from it. Before ttc I probably would have had a slight gender preference because I've always imagined I would have a daughter. Not that I didn't want a son, just that I always thought I would have a daughter. So, I can sort of imagine that if I conceived a son easily, I would be hoping for a girl at some point. But going through this has made me realise that actually I couldn't care less. I just want a baby. So I sort of understand people who have had no problems thinking that they can pick and choose and expressing a preference.

I'm going to read that article now.

Mrsd - I get jealous of people who have girls and I don't mind if a friend has a boy. Obviclously not picky myself but would love a little girl or two!! Perhaps you're right about the vitamins but I haven't a cold for six years...it's so bizarre I do bore myself actually how I always talk about it, I should just go and get tested but it's loads more cash.

nearly all of my friends who have had babies this year have had boys. In fact, now I think about it no one has had a girl! Very strange. I went to see my friend and her new baby yesterday (born on sat night). I didn't stay long, just dropped the card and present off and cooed a little bit. He was cute, but sort of wrinkled and screaming a lot! So, it didn't make me feel massively jealous or broody. Also, my friend said she'd hardly had any sleep since he was born and she also had a very hard labour. I do sometimes wonder if maybe I'm not suited to having a newborn but I suppose no one is. My friend has had a shock I think because she was very unrealistic about life with a baby IMO. She said yesterday that she thought it was going to take a lot of getting used to which was sort of refreshing to hear because usually people are gushing to tell you how fabulous it is being a new mum and how their life is complete blah, blah, blah.

If the nk stuff is niggling away at you joycep maybe you should get tested. But I suppose you'd do that anyway if you end up having IVF (which I hope you don't because the BFP is just round the corner!)

Have found the controversial thread and had a read. The initial question didn't bug me either, I don't think it was an odd thing to wonder and really don't think she had any idea it might whip up a hornets nest. Felt a bit sorry for her until she got a bit defensive and obviously some of the other comments bugged me like how us barrens should be relegated to the infertile board because of our delicate sensibilities! I think before you realise you might have problems TTC and just a baby would be chuffing brilliant, it is fairly common to have preconceived ideas/ideal of the sex of child you would like in an ideal world. Maybe I am out of order.

stasi when is your HSG?

MRSD I agree that my hair and nails have been so much better since taking the vits. If I forget a day or two I really notice my nails going downhill. Ohhh a big baby meet up would be fab wouldn't it

minnie I have noticed on some threads a kind of stealth boasting about fertility. I find it quite eye rollingly funny when someone says how their DH only has to look at them etc.....

gin We are in the same boat over the PCT funding thing (though not sure if I am in a funded PCT now we have moved). It is uber frustrating isn't it and makes you really feel in limbo. We can't afford private treatment either which is depressing.

lisa I am interested in your sessions and will be watching to see if it improves your migraines. I have meds for my attacks and really worry about having to take them when TTC especially during the 2ww. I know I probably shouldn't take them but have convinced myself that if I was upduffed it would be too early days to affect bubs, also refuse to blindly suffer a migraine when the chances of being pregnant are pretty much nil anyway. I think that we live quite close to eachother. St Heliers is pretty local to us. Would you say that the gynae dept is a bit rubbish there? I have opted for Croydon University Hospital for my referral though that decision was a bit like closing my eyes and sticking a pin in a list. I just read online that they have a pretty good endo consultant there.

fatima sorry that you have a cold. Any sign of AF yet?

Izzy I can't believe you are still suffering with your back. Poor you.

Joycep Cripes, thinking of pre-menopause scares me witless, you are brave reading a book on it. I prefer the ostrich, head in sand approach!
Weirdly I was thinking of you the other day and how you spent all that money on the bitch doctor who made all kinds of promises and failed to respond to your emails.
I hardly ever get bugs or colds (apart from last September/Oct when I strangely got three colds in quick succession) I hadn't made the NK cell connection & assumed it was because I am constantly swimming in bugs and germs because of the dogs and have built up an immunity to nasties. Drats!

Also thanks for the words of encouragement about ovulation time. It's nice to know that I am in with a shot. Though I am having a wobbly day triggered by laying in bed last night and working out that if there is a one in four chance of conceiving every month then I should have been pregnant 6 times over by now. Also triggered by the fact that my body is following the run up to AF script to the letter AGAIN this cycle. Thought that I would torture myself by looking at some of the "am I preggers?" threads and felt so jealous. I was remembering how at the start of TTC I would plan how I would tell DH about a BFP and used to go on baby websites and plan the nursery. It just feels like a whole other world ago.

It's totally another world isn't it pout? I remember thinking about how I'd tell DH and also how I'd announce the news to everyone else. Brother and SIL have their 12 week scan tomorrow. They've already told most people but no doubt she'll do a big FB announcement thing with scan photo. So glad I'm not on FB to see it. Although I know she'll ring me to tell me all about it. I did suggest to DH that we go out tomorrow evening to avoid the call. Is that really mean of me?

No it's not mean of you at all. I am of the beilef that this whole business is so awful that self preservation is paramount. It won't really affect your SIL if she can't tell you all about her scan but it will affect you. She will have plenty of other people to tell all about it.

The longer all this has gone on I am definitely of the belief that I won't hide the fact that we are having problems or that it hurts (probably because I am thinking that this problem won't ever go away and we probably won't ever have a baby). I refuse to coo and feign interest in photos of peoples baby grandchildren/neices/any type of baby related stuff. Before I would do/say all the right things and make myself feel like shite just so as not to be rude. Now I just think sod it. Oh dear I really am a bitter old barren!

you're not barren pout. I do think we will all got there eventually, but because we don't know when it feels pretty hopeless most of the time. I am going to tell DH we're going out for dinner tomorrow. Then we should miss her call. The thing is, this will be their third so I do find it hard to be too excited for them. I do sound bitter, I know.

pout I usually get 6 to 10 migraine attacks a month, I was under the care of Charing Cross but have been discharged as i'm ttc, I was taking different prophylactic meds. I take imigran when I have an attack. I had 12 last month. I too worry about taking the drugs, My neurologist said it was ok to take the meds during pregnancy but my GP and specialists said no. I tend to agree with the latter but I do take imigran during the 2ww and have taken during my 2nd pregnancy. I find if I don't catch the migraine in time they can go on for days!!
I'm trying to destress as well.
I have found St Helier quite good other than my last visit. They were good to me during my 2 ERPC's, recurrent miscarriage clinic seems good, I suppose only time will tell. I live in Sutton, if you are close and ant to meet up let me know :)

Pout - not that I hold grudges (not half) I think a lot about bitch doc too. She screwed us. To be fair the 4 people who I heard of who went to her did get pregnant with her aid. Typical it wasnt DH and me. Talk about being bitter and oh so sorry for myself. I planned the nursery as well Pout- what a joke. Perhaps we all jinxed ourselves. My biggest faux pas was to look up the pram I wanted-jinxed for life!. In the last 2 years I have gone from reading a pregnancy week by week book, to fertility, to conception and now the menopause. Something has seriously gone wrong and backwards here! I just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Pout - what is your action plan, are you getting referred for a lap at some point? You're not barren until you reach the menopause. No talk of that Pouty.
Migraines can be a sign of estrogen dominance by the way and needing more progesterone.

Mrsd - Definiteky go out to dinner.. You don't need to hear all about it especially on their third.

Hi everyone, I'm just about to start cooking dinner, but wanted to update on the HSG. The procedure was ok, though really quite uncomfortable it's no worse than a period pain. I was amazed at how tiny the uterus and tubes are, and how delicate they look.

The left tube one was easily seen to be open and clear, the right one however she wasn't sure of. So after the scan she went over the pictures with me, then sent me for a general abdominal x-ray next door to get a firm diagnosis. Those results showed the right tube is indeed blocked. I was given antibiotics as a precaution, as with a blocked tube the dye can sort of sit and stagnate (sounds wonderful!).

I personally think the damage is likely from the surgery I had previously, but there's no way to know. No options were discussed about the blocked tube, overall she was quite upbeat about it, and said not to worry as it only takes 1 tube to get pg. However it effectivly 'halves' the time we've been trying I think. Our 20 cycles is maybe halved to 10 possibles, and reduced again due to DH's swimmers.

I'll talk to the consultant if/when we get an appointment to go over the results. The last discussion we had he said if the HSG was clear, we try longer, if it's not, then IVF. I'm not sure where half-clear gets me. I would hope there's a way to unblock tubes, but as yet I know very little about next steps.

Now I just need to work out the good SWI days, I'm only on CD6, with ov usually around CD16. I hope this month will be a left ovulation, but if not, next month should be right? They do pretty much alternate?

Pout I wanted to add too that you're not barren, you'll get there soon. Your journey (and all of ours) just isn't as straight forward as that of other people. You are right in that you shouldn't feel you have to hide your feelings from others, but I think that's more something that needs to be done generally - remove the taboo of talking about fertility problems, and make people think twice about over sharing and assuming babies are just a matter of choosing to have one.

He he to The Coven joycep I realise that in finding joy in this description I have lowered myself but I have to find joy somewhere When they told me I had a fibroid I was a bit eh isn't that what old ladies get! It is more prevalent in overweight women and black women too, so it is all a bit of a mystery. But apparently they are really quite common after the age of 30. They don't often cause any problems so usually people don't even know they have them. Now I have found out I do, and talk about it to anyone who listens, I'm amazed to find that there are loads of people with them, including someone the same age at me as work (who had to have a hysterectomy but had had her babies with no trouble). I don't worry too much about the menopause. My mum and her mum were over 55 and my other gran had my uncle when she was 45. I know this isn't failproof but it keeps me sane. I will be glad to have my fsh done on day 2/3 tho and not 5/6 to hopefully get it under 8. Am I allowed to slap you with a kipper for reading about the menopause!!!?

mrsden I don't think you're being mean at all. Funnily enough all of my friends have had boys - 9 boys in the past two years and no girls! I don't mind what I have, genuinely. If I had a boy and was trying again then maybe I'd like a girl? But I only want one so it all feels a bit hypothetical to think about it. Having taught in reception for ten years, I've loved the boys and girls the same but in different ways. I haven't thought like this for a long time. It's strange isn't it pout how long ago thoughts of nurseries and maternity pay seem. I used to always work out due dates too and it wouldn't occur to me to even think about that now.

Sorry to hear about the migraines Lisa and pout how horrid. I used to get them on the pill when I took the week off the pills. Very painful. Not being able to take meds in the tww is a struggle for me with ibs. I've recently stopped being so cautious. I know that is bad, but lately I just think I'm not pregnant so it doesn't matter. And if I did feel any different in the two week wait I wouldn't. I feel awful for confessing that. I was meticulous in the beginning.

Well what a crazy cycle I'm having. Usually I make lovely charts that look just as they should. But this month my temps have been in the post ov range since cd7 and I'm now in cd12 and they were v high. I think it might be my cold but I don't feel very temperaturey anymore. also and sorry for bleating on about gross stuff but today I have the most ewcm I've ever had since ttc. I am wondering about the vitex actually. Maybe it is psychosomatic. I'm glad to have ov twinges from the left though. I thought that ovary was permanently dormant.

fatima sorry to hear you have the lurgy too. At least it will be out of the way so you aren't saddled with a cold in the exciting next bit. oh and joycep I didn't have a cold for seven years when I was in school. Then unchanged job and moved north and have made up for it! I get about once cold a year and last year through in glandular fever for good measure.

Oo epic post. Waves to everyone else. And to lemon

pout my friend who told me about her IVF BFP at the weekend was at Croyden. There is one dr there that she really didn't like and asked not to be seen by again but there rest of the people seem to have been nie and most importantly, they got her pregnant!

lisa that sounds horrendous! I have had a few migranes in my life and they were awful.

Threw not through, oh dear. Stasi sorry to hear about the tube. But hurray for your other tube. I hope you're OK. Can you feel which side you ov from? I think it's a shame you can't have the consultant appointment straight afterwards, I have found the waiting and not knowing quite a challenge, but it does pass. It's a pity ov sticks can't tell us which side the eggs are coming from.

nice not nie. Thank I have a secretary at work. My typing is awful!

stasi I am glad the HSG wasn't too bad for you. It's annoying that one tube looks blocked though.

wine I panic about the menopause sometimes. I don't know what age my mum would have gone through it as she got breast cancer at 47 when she was peri-menopausal and was put on Tamoxifen which essentially drew out the menopause symptoms for years! It's a wonder drug but now I am suffering some minor hot flushes from the Letrozole, I have a great deal of sympathy for her! I will have to ask her what stage she was at at 47. We both started periods fairly early (13 for her, 12 for me) so it wouldn't surprise me if they stopped on the early side of normal too. Pre-broodyness, I used to say i couldn't wait as I have always had nasty heavy painful periods! Now I am desperate for my cycle to continue for a good while yet!

euro Thanks they are horrendous, the goal is to get it down to 5 attacks a month. I do feel different but not sure how since I started acupuncture.

Pout You must be very near me too, as St Helliers is my nearest hospital. Probably the same bloody PCT refusing to fund our IVF! I've booked onto an open day at Create in Wimbledon this Sat, to find out more about their mild IVF, which is meant to be cheaper than the normal kind.

Euro interesting to hear that Croydon was successful for your friend. I had thought that they didn't do IVF there!

Stasi As you say, you roughly need to halve the number of months you've been ttc, so that might explain why it's taking a little longer? One good tube is all it takes, so hope you are feeling ok.

Thanks for hsg reassurance ladies. As our sperms aren't good enough to get me pregnant, sounds it would be a waste of time and anxiety having one, as IVF is our only option.

Lol at The Coven Joy. Let's add your bitch doctor to The Coven too.

Mrsd I say avoid the inevitable phone call. Three babies - sigh, that's what I wanted, but right now just the one would do. I totally think you are allowed to be not excited and to avoid. Oh and Pout at baby pics at your wedding!

Hope the lurgy is passing Fatima. At least it should be all cleared before you start your treatment.

Wine I too appear to have torrents of ewcm this month. And where is MrGin - down the bloody pub, ruining the 2 normal sperms he has with beer!

Lisa I too get migraine, but normally only in the week before my period and occasionally around ovulation. 12 a month?! Sounds awful. Think for me it's to do with fluctuations in hormones. When I've charted I can see a clear correlation between the temp rises and the headaches. I take Migraleave. It's so unlikely that I'm pregnant that I figure the drugs are ok!

Am having an evening of property porn. Avoiding the programme about men becoming fathers and looking forward to some lovely George Clarke in a bit :)

gin I'm watching property porn too :) I've kept a record of my attacks and they don't seem to correspond with AF or ovulation so my neurologist doesn't seem to think that oestrogen is the cause but i'm still open minded about it.

stumbled on this thread and wanted to throw in my experience.
I had accupuncture.
Conceived 3 months later with twins as i threw out 2 eggs!
I was 39!
Do i think acupucture is the reason - yes.
Do I think its solves TTC medical problems - no but what i felt it did was jolt my body into action.
best of luck everyone
10 months isn't long tho - keep goingxxx

doubletrouble9 thanks for you post x

ur welcome
anyone wanting more acupuncture info on what she did just mail me xxx