TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Quick post to say at Facebook. If it didn't facilitate me keeping in touch with people I would cut the cord. I wish looking at it wasn't such a habit or that people didn't post a running commentary on their wriggling bumps. The rage is upon me. I will return calmer later!

what's upset you on FB wine? I left it ages ago. Sometimes I miss it because it was good for keeping in touch with people but I couldn't bare all the pregnancy and baby stuff that people post. I guess people really don't understand that what they post could be upsetting to some people. There is an article on the Daily Mail site today about how infertility makes you feel.
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2102376/Baby-envy-The-new-social-divide.html

DH agreed that we could go out tonight to avoid the inevitable phone call about the scan. She'll only phone again tomorrow though if she can't get hold of me tonight. I'm not sure what time their scan was, I did text this morning to wish them good luck but not had a reply.

Oh it's just a friend who comments every hour about her baby in spite of having several friends having difficulties including a recent stillbirth. I find it a bit insensitive. I note the coven are out in force in the comments section! I think it was interesting to read that a flip was switched once she was pregnant. I think I'll still be a gibbering wreck of worry!! And they did all seen to get there in the end

Hello ladies, sorry have struggled to keep up over the last couple of days so just popping in and will do a catch up post over the weekend. wine at Facebook. I read that fail article and shouldnt have read the comments, they make me feel really really sad. One of my friends texted me last asking me how I was getting on and I stupidly replied honestly saying I was stressed and not really coping well and she replied basically saying I needed to keep things in perspective and then told me a load of stuff about her baby

I thought the big fat Greek wedding lady sounded lovely and im so glad she got her happy ending. The bloody coven, it's such a good word for it. The bit about wanting to throw your dip in the air and run for the hills was so true.

Wine - your friend is part of the Coven by the sounds of it. Unsympathetic, tactless and selfish Come to mind. Reading some of those comments just shows what we are up against. People actually get upset because their infertile friend doesn't pay them any attention during their pregnancy. It's astonishing. I am suspicious of those people who gloat about their wonderful lives on FB. But the article rings very true. I found out yesterday a school friend is about to give birth and I didn't know she was pregnant. This is her second. She started trying for her first kid After us! Now onto number 2. Shows how much I have gone into hiding that I disnt even know she was pregnant.

Hi lovely ladies,

I'm sorry I've missed so much this week - been flying about all over the place with work and trips to hospital every other day. Also been checking in on my grandparents a bit whilst my parents are on holiday, my granddad had a fall last week and broke two ribs and my grandma is still a bit fragile after a fall last year. Anyways, it is Friday!

Sorry so many of you have crappy colds ? hope they?re clearing up and you?re feeling better.

Wine ? I really hope your appointment comes through soon. And sorry you?ve had a crap FB experience this morning. I?ve stopped using it regularly because those kind of announcements and updates were happening too often. I recognise those you describe from the Coven joycep - perfect term

Nelly ? excited for you that you?ve been booking weddingy goodness. And very jealous of your skiing trip, sounds like you?ll be able to make the most of the après-ski too, fab!

Some of the responses on that thread were just horrid, like wine said it got very nasty but it did just demonstrate a complete lack of understanding. Mrsd ? you put it very well indeed. I rarely post on other threads and I think it?s because I?ve become a bit of a wuss after reading one too many bitchy threads.

Mrsd - I know what you mean about money, it depresses me that this is how our hard-earned cash will be spent. The final lot of paperwork today has a whole heap of possible last minute extras (two for one would be nice!) for next week, all of which we?ll of course say yes to if it means we have a better shot at it being successful. Ho-hum.

Lisa ? I?m having acupuncture too. I started it mainly to reduce spotting before my period, which it has done. Now it?s a matter of keeping me chilled throughout IVF.

Stasi ? I'm so sorry to hear about your HSG, how are you feeling? It?s great news that your left tube is nice and clear. I?m exactly the same as you - my right tube is totally blocked and my left is fine, with no explanation for either. It took me a while to get my head around it but it sounds like you've already been given some good advice.

Everyone's situation is different but for what it's worth, I was given the option of surgery to open up the right tube and decided against it. The success rates just didn?t stack up against the invasiveness/lengthy recovery time. But the thing I was most worried about was that the tubes, as you say, as so so delicate. I couldn?t see how a tube that had been forced open by surgery wouldn?t still be damaged somehow (particularly the teeny tiny hairs inside them). We thought it actually might be better to have one totally blocked tube rather than a damaged one that leaves you more at risk of ectopic pregnancy. As we have male factor issues too, we went straight for ICSI.

The good thing is that I?m pretty certain I nearly always ovulate from my left hand side ? like my body knows there?s no point ovulating from the right. And this has been backed up by the IVF treatment as pretty much all my follicles are growing on the left! So try not to worry too much about only having half the number of chances, our bodies can do pretty miraculous things.

Fatima ? how are you? I had a wobble during down-regging phase, it seemed like there were just too many barriers to get through. I know you know this, but take it one step at a time. This week has been the best so far because I?ve been back to the clinic every other day so you can see your own progress, whereas the first week I had no idea whether it was doing what it?s supposed to do!

I had my second monitoring scan this morning and it looks like I?m ready to go for egg collection earlier than expected ? I have 7 follicles of a good size, and another 4/5 that might catch up over the weekend. So EC is on Monday. I?m still a bit shell-shocked, nervous beyond belief and very excited - I thought I?d have a bit more time to get used to the idea. In my madness all I can think about is that I need to buy a dressing gown and night shirt as I refuse to go in a grubby old t-shirt not fit for public view!

Sorry for the essay ladies - and I know I've missed lots out. Hello and waves to everyone.

the coven is such a good name! It sounds like your friend is very much one of the coven kitty, maybe you should distance from her a bit. I do think that people become quite selfish when they're pregnant and new parents. The world revolves around them and their little one. I can't remember the last time a pregnant friend asked how I am, and yet I have to listen and provide a sympathetic ear to all of their ailments and troubles. I do get a bit fed up of it all. I'm also so bitter now that I sort of loathe the way I have to buy presents and make a fuss for a new baby. Gah, I really am a bitter old hag.

I have two friends who if they stopped and thought about it should know that we're having problems. Before we started ttc I did tell them that we were about to start. So, I'd have thought that they must have guessed there is a problem. But they've never asked. And I don't think it's because they're being sensitive because both of them have gloated all the way through their pregnancies.

oh wow, ladygee how exciting. Monday is so close and then that's the worst bit of IVF over isn't it? I'm keeping everything crossed for you. That sounds like a good number of eggs. Will your DH have to perform on Monday?

Does anyone know anything about PICSI? It's basically ICSI but they have a different way of selecting the best sperm to use. The clinic I'm going to have said that they've just had their first pregnancy using this technique but I can't really find much out about it from googling. I was wondering if it's used by UK clinics?

stasi I'm pleased the HSG wasn't too painful for you. At least you have some answers and I'm sure that you only need one tube to get pregnant. But like you say it might half your number of chances so in effect you haven't been trying for that long. My aunt had an ectopic and had to have a tube removed but she went on to have 3 children with no problems at all.

It will be the worst bit over, definitely - I think I'll just be sedated but I can pay extra to have GA! The nurses have said it's a decent number and they were happy because they are all a similar size, which I'm hoping indicates a good quality too. He will indeed have to do his bit on Monday, mrsd - I've had assurance after assurance that performance will not be a problem. Famous last words...

I've heard of PICSI and IMSI (?) but don't know much about them, I'm afraid. I've been lurking on fertility friends and a few people have mentioned PICSI so some of the clinics over here must do it. I'll pay more attention next time I'm lurking there and report back but it might be worth a look as some ladies seem to be pretty well informed.

thanks ladygee, I might have a peek on fertility friends. Have they mentioned anything to you about single or double embryo transfer yet? Or does that depend on what fertilises? I feel a bit sorry for the men having to perform on demand but I suppose it's nothing compared to what the women go through. There was a thread on here about egg collection and the consensus seems to be that sedation is fab!

There seems to be a national push for single ET at the moment but they have said to be ready to have DET on the day as it depends on the quality of the embryos that fertilise. Having discussed it, we'd be more than happy to have two put back.

I am more nervous for my hubby than I am for me, I can't imagine having to perform on demand like that. We briefly discussed getting a sample frozen but he genuinely seems fine with it all.

I saw that thread and it made me quite look forward to the sedation, I could do with feeling like I've had a good, uninterrupted sleep!

so much for avoiding SIL today. She's emailed and texted me the scan photo. No doubt it is on FB now too. I don't know why people think everyone wants to see their scan, all babies look the same at this stage don't they? I refuse to get upset but I did feel my bottom lip wobble a bit when I saw the scan photo. It's great news for them, I love them and I'm happy for them. But I wish it was my turn now.

ladygee I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear how the egg collection goes on
Monday. Everything sounds like its going along perfectly. I hope they let you transfer two, if that's what you want to do. It would be my preference.

X post mrsd sorry about SIL. Well done for not getting too upset. Do you think you will be able to avoid the phone call now?

ladygee that's fab news about egg collection. The stimming has gone really quick. Thanks for your words of reassurance

at the scan texts mrsden

AF arrived this morning so I get to start fsh injections tomorrow then have to go for a blood test on Tuesday after 3 days of injecting.
I'm still feeling grotty but not as bad as yesterday, currently having a relax in bed with a hot water bottle for my cramps, shame there's nothing good on tv

Afternoon. I've looked back and it's been ages since I've done a proper catch up post, but I don't think I have time to go back through everything again now, so am going to start with just this page. Sorry if I miss anyone!

Wine I hope your temps start behaving soon, and that this hasn't delayed ov at all. Lots of EWCM is a good sign though, I hope you're starting to feel better. Can you block your FB friend so you can't see any more updates? It doesn't let them know you've done it, but will mean you don't see any more from her until you choose to.

lisa I've only ever had a couple of migraines, they are definitely not fun. I hope you get the attacks under control, 5 a month still seems far too many!

Gin The HSG procedure isn't anything to worry about, it's only about as bad as a smear + mild period cramps. I've definitely had worse cramping with a normal AF. As you say though, you probably won't need one.

Kitty sorry your friend was so insensitive, I do wonder if people honestly think hearing about their babies will somehow make us feel better. I know the logic is twisted, but maybe they think they're sharing the feeling with us so we can coo over their baby until we get ours? Sigh, I always try and think the best of people, I wonder sometimes how often I'm right though.

Joy I think I'm going to wait to talk to my consultant about things. I still haven't given up on having more than one baby, so want the best chance of more than one healthy pg. Hopefully we can improve DH's swimmers and then our odds won't be all that bad really.. maybe. Sounds like things are going great for you, wishing you all the best for Monday, I have everything crossed! Sedation is pretty good, you may find it makes you forget things too, so don't worry if later in the day you can't remember much of the procedure. I think that's part of how they work.

mrsden sorry you couldn't avoid the over-sharing.

Fatima how exciting! What's the next step for you now? I hope the cramping goes away soon.

I'm actually feeling ok about the blocked tube. It's another reason for us having problems, but it means we do have a reason, and they're not insurmountable problems. It's just going to take us longer. Hopefully not too much longer, but we'll see. I've also learnt that your tubes can pick up eggs from either side! So even with the right one blocked, I won't lose all the eggs from my right side. Apparently it only reduces your chances by about 30%, rather than the 50% I thought.

Mrsd- oh I am sorry. It's so bloody hard. Virtual hug. I was never interested in people's scans even before I was trying. I could never really see anything. I do hope when we all get pregnant a switch does just go on and we go back to our usual selves after all this. Or perhaps we will always resent it.

Lady - well done you , can't believe it is happening on Monday. Very exciting!! Like Kitty I would go for two. Twins would be fab and get all TTC out of the way and to never be thought again.

Oh Fatima - good luck with everything. Sorry about grottyness

Ah mrsd sorry about the scan photo, she really didn't want you to miss it did she. Hope you're feeling ok now and well done on not getting upset.

Thanks kitty! Sorry about your friend being so insensitive too.

fatima - I hope AF isn't too bad for you, esp on top of feeling rough anyway. Good luck with the injections. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

stasi - as ever, you sound like you've got a good perspective on all this and that can only help tip the odds in your favour even more. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your appt.

joy - that's exactly the conversation we've had, if we could get two at once we'd be done and dusted on the ttc front! Just hope these follicles produce some lovely eggs for Monday now.

twins would be lovely especially because it would mean only going through it once. My friend had twins in July (not through fertility treatment) and she had a really straight forward pregnancy and managed to get to 38 weeks before she had to have an emcs. She is also one of the most chilled out mums I know, and she says that she doesn't think 2 babies really are much more work . She is a very relaxed person anyway. She did say that people were quite negative to her face though when she told them she was having twins. She got comments about how unlucky she was, how her life would be a nightmare. And she said more than one person said that twins would be their worst nightmare. Pretty insensitive to say the least! She also said that professionals were very negative, always going on about the risks and what could go wrong. But she got through it all unscathed and she has the most beautiful boys.

I've not had a phonecall from SIL yet. I think we might get away with it tonight but I'm sure she'll catch me over the weekend. She's excited which I totally understand and she's not trying to be insensitive because she doesn't know we're trying. But, I find it hard when it's their third to be full of excitement for them when inside my jealousy is brewing. I think I'll have a long hot soak in the bath before we go out for dinner and then have the most lovely evening with my gorgeous DH. Happy weekend to everyone!

gin and lisa it's weird that we are all in the same-ish neck of the woods. Keep wondering how we would signal to each other who we are, red rose in lapel, negative pee stick in top pocket??

I get loads of migraines too lisa, it is so wearing isn't it. I have started to keep a pain diary because I read that it is useful when trying to prove you might have endo and I counted that in 4 weeks I had 13 migraines. I had no idea I had that many. I take Rizatriptan. I have read that you shouldn't take them when pregnant but I think it is more to do with the lack of trials on pregnant people than hard and fast evidence. Have you tried taking aspirin when you get the first twinge of an attack? I have started to do this rather than instantly reaching for the triptans and quite often it is enough to stave off a full blown attack from developing.

gin I might have a little look in mild IVF and will be interested to see how you get on.
I recorded that Fathers to be programme with the view that one day I might be able to watch it.

euro It's encouraging about Croydon Univ hosp though you can bet your bottom dollar I'll get the duff doctor. BTW I now have visions of your secretary typing all your MN posts.

stasi I'm glad that your HSG is over but sorry to hear that you think you might have a blocked tube. Do you get ovulation pain to indicate which side you ovulate from each month?

wine Your cold must have messed up your chart. What is vitex?
FB makes me fume on a regular basis too so much so that I now avoid it.

joycep I second the motion that your doctor ought to be banished to the covern. Did she ever see you again to talk about the failed treatment and what was next?
I'm still waiting for confirmation of my appointment. I have had a letter confirming my choice of hospital but have a horrible feeling that there has been a mess up at the GP surgery and the appointment is for the dildo cam that they were supposed to have cancelled. It all seems too quick to be the gynae referral.
I too picked out a pram and cot. BIG mistake. When we went to Ikea recently I noticed that they had discontinued the nursery stuff that I had picked out and I got quite upset by it. I've said it before but it is the little things that really seem to set me off on one. It occurred to me that if I don't have kids then when I die my engagement and wedding rings won't mean anything to anybody as part of any inheritance and will probably end up in Cash Converters!

mrsd Why oh why would anyone want to send someone a baby scan picture?????????????? Like you say they all look the same! Sorry that you have had to endure that. Sorry also that your friend hasn't twigged or asked you how your TTC plans are going. I really think that people just don't know what to say so decide to take the easy option of saying nothing which IMO is more hurtful than saying the wrong thing though having read what kitty's friend said maybe not. Am shocked by that. "Get some perspective"?? It seems to me that she may be in need of some perspective herself.

Ladyg Good luck with your egg collection, it's so exciting. It's funny how our brains work isn't it but am with you on the buying a new dressing gown and nightie!

Fatima Good luck with your blood test and sorry that you have nasty cramps. Hope you feel better soon.

lemons How are you feeling chuck? Thinking of you. Miss you on here.

BTW wanted to say sorry for keep referring to "barrens". I hope I haven't offended anyone because I may have used the terms alot. Overstatement and black humour is just my twisted way of dealing with things

Update on my recent blood tests is that I got a letter asking me to ring the GP surgery today and was told that my ERS result was elevated which indicates inflammation. I have to have this test repeated. Anyone know whether this could be indicative of endo and whether this might bolster my case when trying to get them to investigate?

pout I really shouldn't complain about tactless friend. I do have a small number of very supportive and kind friends that i can talk to, and I'm so grateful for them, I now know that people who are sympathetic about infertility are few and far between. It's just so disappointing when someone asks but then they really don't seem to give a shit when you say you feel bad, especially when it's someone you thought you could count on . Its like infertility doesn't 'count' as a reason for unhappiness in some people's eyes.

I don't know about the inflammation, but I so hope that it will help you move towards proper investigations. It's about time.

pout lol I love the pee stick in the pee stick in top pocket. If we do all live nearish each other it might be nice to meet up. I did meet up with another lady on this website.

All I keep hearing is BFP from other people, doesn't help that I feel like death right now, good old DH has everything under control and is cleaning right now.

ladyg hope all goes well for you

pout vitex is agnus castus.

I have no problem with dark ttc humour or talk of barrens!

Another friend had her baby yesterday. A v cute little girl. I won't get a cuddle of this one because they moved to Australia at Xmas.

I'm on day 8 and having quite few ov twinges (which is normal for me at this stage). This is cycle 3 of letrozole + immunosuppresants. And possibly my last one. I'm travelling next cycle and so will probably skip the Letrozole so I don't risk overstimming while I'm abroad. It would be great if we can move to IVF after that. I should find out next week when we have an appointment at the fertility clinic.

Hi everyone. Very late and quick update. I have been using opks this month again as well as monitor. Got a bit lax with monitor but been trying to at least use opk each day. Haven't had swi or at all for about a week and thought the Clomid hadn't worked as Dr said I'd ov by day 16. I'm day 20 now (or was before midnight!) And I did an opk just a few mins ago...the cheapy one from Amazon looked positive so I used my second last digital clearblue and got a smiley face!! So just waiting on dh now! I might end up ovulating in the end up this month tho still ridiculously late for a Clomid cycle!

Big congrats to Mrs pout on the wedding!

I did my first injection last night! Wasn't too bad, just stung a bit when I took it out. Prepping it seemed diddly but I'm sure I'll become a pro at that.

Hope everyone's having a good weekend