TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Freedom Its totally natural to feel like that, my last miscarriage was Oct and I still have bad days, finding out about others being pregnant or having babies just reminds us of what we don't have yet, big hugs x

Afternoon ladies.

Hello freedom. What a tough time you?ve had, I?m so sorry. It?s no wonder you feel sad. You?re very welcome here and I think one of the great things about this thread is that you can talk about how you feel about other people?s pregnancies which to me is one of the hardest things about TTC struggles. Just let it out I say!

ladygee is it weird that I think your sleeping ovaries sound cute?!

stasi I know EXACTLY what you mean about the games. When we met, DH used to do loads of different things, now it?s just work, tv and computer games. He has a stressful job and he truly believes that the games help him unwind and relax. But I know better I don?t think it?s the case ? they make him tense and angry, he swears at the screen and gets piggy eyes . But how to get them to stop, or cut down, without seeming like a nagging wife? And wine group online games are the worst. My DH is obsessed I tell you.

minipie hope you enjoyed the ski googling, I love holiday porn. There are some amazing looking chalets around aren?t there?

fatima hope you had a nice evening with your friend, it sounds lovely. I loooove Gossip Girl. I know it?s ridiculous but it?s just pure escapism ? the clothes, lifestyles, locations etc ? drool.

wine sorry you had such a crap week ? those kind of weeks just need to have a line drawn under them don?t they? And I?m sorry that the consultant was ambivalent about the effect of the fibroid on your fertility, but honestly, I?d be amazed if it wasn?t making a difference. Surely that?s not a nice comfy environment for the little bean to bed down in. I?m still feeling very positive that you will get a post-op BFP :)

euro I am sorry snow patrol were a bit dull! I have saw them at a festival once and have hazy memories of thinking similar thoughts about them. Hmmm...

joyce that is amazing about your bone cracking man. His nutritional advice sounds like it was spot on, and that?s so great you lost 5lbs and feel so much better. Have you managed to cut out sugary snacks, and if so what have you replaced them with? I was reading that apple and peanut butter is a good low-GI snack, I might take some to work next week to try and stave off the sugar cravings.

mrsd I love a relaxing, pottering afternoon :) but oh my god, the leaking aspect of TTC :( I hear ya.

Well, not much to report here. CD 29. I think ERTD will be here Monday or maybe Tuesday. Found out about a new pregnancy earlier, a sensitive friend gave me a heads-up as apparently the girl is planning on making a big announcement about it at some point ? urgh. Didnt even pretend to be pleased , but luckily the person who told me is one of those friends you can be totally honest with. So I am luckily I found out in the least upsetting way ? although actually I wasn?t that bothered ? more just eye rolly and glad to not be wondering about her.

Well I hope lovely weekends with are being had all round.

Welcome freedom I'm so sorry to hear you are in the ttc doledrums and that you really have been through the mill. lisacn sorry to hear about your mc too. There was a thread not so long ago about ttc being a Shit Boat and this actually cheered me up! It sums it up well. Right now, I'm on cycle 15 and in a period of feeling ok. But it is very up and down. I find that if I force myself to only think up to one month ahead, that helps me. But it isn't easy. But you have to think, you've been pregnant once and you can do it again. Are you seeing a consultant? And I think it's only human to feel weepy amongst so many babies. My friends are all popping out babies at the moment as easy as shelling out peas. Do I feel joy for them for having their babies? Um, no not really. I can be around them and buy presents etc but that's about it! Hide in here as much as you need.

Ha ha mrsden at your mattress!! I would just buy a new one the leakage is normal I think but it does seem rather wasteful. I confess to wondering about investing in a sperm catcher. Dh thinks this is gross. Im inclined to agree, but since the consultant told us to really try, I'm scratching my head to know what else to do. I've tried all manner of timings, legs in the air, preseed, supplements, charting, opks, positions, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, homeothapy - what else does he want us to do!!!? I've got me some vitex and boy does that stuff taste disgusting. joycep do you think the progesterone is worth a shot? No side effects? I'm so impressed with how much better you're feeling. So, what do you eat on a typical day? Do you never eat pasta now?

I went to the gym today and have felt all proud of myself all day. Thats probably it for another 6 weeks! I do think my yoga keeps up a baseline fitness quite well though as I was running fine today. I would like to get myself feeling good and fit for the op.

euro glad you are feeling calm. A longer luteal phase in recent months has infuriated me. I know it's a good thing, but it's longer to wait. Mine is 14-15 days now. It was 12-13 when I started ttc.

My new project is to learn how to make macarons. They look ridiculously difficult.

Cross post kitty maybe our men are playing online together - ha! Have you been symptom spotting? I didn't even think to do that last month. I was mega moody though.

wine :) at the men playing online together! My symptoms have just been normal PMS ones this month. Slightly sore boobs, mild crampiness, and moodiness of course! :) I think any symptom would have to be really, really weird for me to pay any attention to it these days. I do register things, but then remind myself of how unlikely it is that it's a baby, and just wait for AF to arrive in a slightly despondent fashion.

mrsd - i know what you mean about the stains oh and the leakage. I thought it was normal that everything just comes out? |The ones that swim are the ones that manage to swim up through the cervix, all the rest is just crap isn't it?? I have to use tissues to almost cork myself up to avoid a total waterfall. SORRY!! In prefer condoms to avoid the mess and also annoyingly DH and i seem to react and it causes a bit of smell even if i shower. I have had it checked and unfortunately it's a chemical reaction so there's nothing we can do about it. Anyway, I am eating poached eggs/omlettes for breakfast with cheese and sometimes sausages/bacon or smoked salmon. And things like tuna, duck, sausage and cheese salads for lunch. Then I have meat or fish and loads of above the ground veg for dinner. Not allowed spuds/rice/and starchy veg.

kitty - When I need to snack i have oatcakes/ryvita and cheese or nuts and seeds. Yes PeanutB is suppose to be low GI. I have totally cut out sugary snacks and before i went to zumba i would eat some sugary/carb snack and i struggled after 20 mins. Now i have the energy to zumba it up for the whole hour. I had quite bad cravings for a few weeks actually. And last night at my friend's, she gave me a choccy pudding. I couldn't even finish it. It was too sweet and i normally would have wolfed it down and craved more. I literally have got sugar out of my system. I can start reintroducing fruit at some point but i have to be careful. Sorry about the imminent pregnancy announcement. What a good friend you have. I think a head's up is the best way to find out. None of this big announcement stuff - that's not good for our delicate selves!

oh freedom - what an awful time you have had. It's so flipping cruel to take so long to get pregnant and then to m/c. Poor you. You've come to the right place anyhow. It's so hard to hear of friends having babies and personally i find it very hard to be happy for people unless of course they have had troubles themselves. I think it's only natural. It will be your turn one day. Do you have a plan or are you just continuing to try naturally? I guess all your results seem all ok/?

wine - I would be inclined to say no to giving progesterone a shot. Do you know what your levels were when you were tested? If they were above 40 then you are producing enough. You have an excellent LP which also suggest you produce enough....My prog levels were 30 and my lp is 10/11 days and so i need to do a bit of rebalancing. There are no side effects with natural progesterone but i think you can take too much of something. I think you need the beast out of you and really well done on going to the gym...very impressed that you did that on a Saturday!

Ha ha joycep the corkage just made me laugh very loudly. It made dh do a face, he knows I'm sat on MN. I have decided, I am going to buy me a cup this month and literally force the sperm up there and around the obstacle course of my womb. You never know! I wonder if they make you a bit prone to cystitis?

And, um, isnt it always a bit funny smelling? We really are lowering the tone today aren't we I also like the tidiness of condoms. But can't imagine using them ever ever again.

Thank you all. I am temperature taking, mucus checking, stopped smoking, cut on drinking, exercising regulary, taking my folic acid and metafolin tablets, swi from day 15 of my super long and varying cycle. I did pee on ovulation sticks pretty regularly too and wanted to use Persona but having shelled out for it, found it isn't suited for women with 35 day + cycles. We have both been checked and are fine apart from DHs sperm swimming a bit slowly but apparently nothing that requires intervention so I realise we are very lucky there that we don't need treatment. My gynaecologist very cheerfully said if I have 2 more miscarriages I can get a referral. Woohoo! Apparently we are not trying to conceive, we are at a coconut shy. Thanks for the understanding and sympathy. I am feeling more upbeat already.

oh yes joycep we get the smell too it's really not very pleasant, all this ttc. I can't imagine how some people do this stuff for fun At least IVF will be a nice, sterile process. I feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one with a leakage problem.

I am going to try again to cut down on carbs, you've inspired me joycep.

Luckily, DH doesn't do games but he does have crap sperm . I love him so much though, because he is currently making my dinner and has brought me a large

Welcome freedom. It sounds like you've had a tough time. Totally normal to feel like that. We all do at times. My brother and SIL have their 12 week scan this week. I know I should be excited and happy for them but a very evil part of me thinks it's so not fair, they already have 2 children. It should be me getting excited about having a scan this week.

oh wine your dh knows you go on MN/?! Does everyone else's other half know? |This is my little secret from hubby. If he knew, I expect he would be tapping in to see what i was writing. I have also chosen the most random username with no connection to me, just in the case anyone i know happened to stumble on here...they would never guess ha ha..well what i write gives it away but there we go!

Oh i'm relieved other people get the smell....i thought i had vaginitis so I had to run off to the sexual health clinic. mrsd - that was the beauty of iui, very clean process, the sperm was even washed and put in a pretty pink liquid. I sometimes wish it was packaged like that all the time . And ivf will be even neater with an even better package.

freedom - glad you are feeling postive today. I am sorry you have such difficult cycles to track. I hope you don't have too much longer to wait.

oH and to harp on about sugar again, I had thrush nearly every month for over a year....the last bout was at the beginning of Jan so I am hoping that cutting out the sugar will help that situation too. Probably spoken to soon. Right off to rescue my burgers from the oven. Bon apetite mes amis.

wine Yes i'm seeing Mr Shehata on the NHS at St Helier. The joy of being my age is they don't make you suffer 3 miscarriages before they help you. I have elevated NK Cells so i take the steroid Prednisolone, i'm seeing him on Monday due to lots of ovary pains and irregular cycles, I'm going to ask for clomid to kick start this baby making train. We have taken a break this month until things are sorted out.
It does help to know that you can get pregnant but there is that constant worry that it won't work out, you constantly worry about every twinge. The joy of pregnancy has gone for me, I honestly just fear it now.

freedom its totally frustrating and heartbreaking to be told that its just unfortunate to miscarry, and not to offer tests.

mrsden regarding leakage, we usually finish the baby dance in the missionary position, GH usually lingers inside for a bit while we put the pillow under my bum and then he goes and makes us a cuppa. There is still some leakage but not as much as usual.

joycep my DH knows I chat online but I don't think it crosses his mind that I might mention him. He thinks as long as I'm happy, I'm much easier to deal with :0, speaking of DH he has made dinner and baked some cookies yum yum

My dh knows I chat on MN. I didn't tell him to begin with tho cause I thought he wouldn't like it. He gets confused by the abbreviations.

Hi ladies, hope you are all having good weekends!

I have to admit that I'm rather partial to Gossip Girl fatima and kitty... I also love the Vampire Diaries (and hot vamps). All good ttc distractions :)

mrsd I know what you mean about leakage... I'm not too bad at night but urgh when we do morning sex- it seems to leak out at random moments through out the day! Nice.

wine I think I mentioned my friend before, but she had to have 2 ops to remove fibroids and very quickly got pregnant once it had all gone. I'm no doctor, but surely it can't help?!

Welcome freedom and lis Sorry to hear your stories but I'm sure you will find this an useful place to vent! lis you must be near me, as st heliers is out nearest hospital. Are they any good there?

euro sorry about the bfn a couple of pages ago. I too when to a gig this weekend - the Black Keys, which was v good! And for once we didn't feel loads older than everyone else!

joy well done on keeping up the diet. Your woo man seems to be doing wonders.

ladyg it's all getting rather exciting for you now. Do you have a rough date for EC?

Right I better get up and on! Sorry and hi to those I've missed (quick post whilst mr gin is in shower - he doesn't know about my mn obsession...)

Morning ladies and welcome to freedom.

joycep the diet sounds like it is doing you loads of good. I am trapped back in the sugar cycle at the moment. I need to break out of it again and get back to low GI. It's tough because the steroids make me want to eat everything in sight! I have a couple of weeks off them now to get things back to normal.

I don't get the leakage issue really. I find it tends to come out when I go to the loo. I wonder if that is because Mr euro's samples have shown lowish volumes and one had above average viscosity. I'd like to think it would be due to my amazing pelvic floor muscles (!) but I suspect the quantity and thickness of the liquid has more to do with it.

Yesterday should have been an emotional day but I think I used up all my despondency earlier in the week. ERTD appeared and a friend announced she is pregnant. I am very happy for her. It was a hard-won IVF win. But it does leave me as the last of my friends to get there. I feel like I am being left behind.

Euro - sorry about ertd. That's good news about your friend but I am sorry you are now the last of your friends. That's not easy but it will come your turn. What's the plan now? Are you still on super ovulation or are you just going au natural with steroids until ivf?

And if no one believes we will not get there - Britain now has the first male mother according to the daily hell. He/she had to have his womb reactivated. I refuse to believe i will be childless when women who turn into men and basically destroy their reproductive organs - if they can become mothers then so bloody well can we!.

God I am exhausted. My night was disturbed with messages about Whitney. Was such a fan (yep I love cheesy power ballad music!). Saw her in concert a few years ago and I didn't think she would last that long. She lost it in the middle of the concert and looked so ill. So sad .

that a man gets pregnant before me. Surely all the hormone treatment you have to have to become a man would have mucked stuff up?

about Whitney.

euro so sorry this wasn't your month. Great news for your friend but I understand the feeling of being left behind. Just about all of my friends in serious relationships are pregnant or have children already. I have quite a few friends that are still single but some days I still think they'll probably get pregnant before me. I've got to stop thinking of ttc as a competition or a race. I'm a perfectionist in RL and I hate that I'm not good at something. TTC has really affected my confidence, I can't shake of the failure feeling.

I must apologise for my poor English, sometimes I read back what I've written and realise it's littered with mistakes. I don't use English very much these days, except when speaking with some people. And I use it very rarely for writing (except when emailing UK people) so that's my excuse, I promise I'm not really an illiterate fool

mrsden can I ask where you are??

gin I live in Sutton, not far from the station, St Helier does have a bad reputation but I have to say my treatment has been excellent. EPAU is great, with my second pregnancy I thought I was miscarrying straight away, they took blood tests and monitored me, offered me lots of scans and sent me to have the blood tests for the specialist and gave the letter to give my GP to refer me. They didn't muck about. When I had my 2nd ERPC they were so lovely and kind to me, they did perforate my uterus but that is one of the risks. Food is crap though. I was going to have my baby in Epsom but I have been so impressed by St Helier that if I ever do get to that stage then I'll give birth there.

mrsden hello, still reading and doing ok. Just waiting for scan at end of month but still carrying around pads to prepare for something to go wrong. Oh dear, I hope that goes away after scan.

I have been thinking about if anything changed for me that resulted in BFP. One thing was I contacted an acupuncture practitioner on the web and asked about frequency of treatment, how long I should continue for, and about herbal treatments. Basically I just wanted a second opinion on a few things (esp as my acu lady isn't a fluent English speaker...)

This resulted in me taking the herbal tea I was being given more seriously and my acu lady also changed it slightly to build up my blood more (I have a random super light one day period at start of Nov)

I know lots of you are having acupuncture or considering it so thought this might be something to think about. My question and answer are here

Although I also think it was just a random thing that it worked that month. Unless SWI every 1 1/2 days made the difference (oh and ovulation was a couple of days early which for me means it was different each and every month).

hello to everyone

Hi everyone. Just popping in quickly. I cant remember who asked but im a radiographer yes so you would think arranging an MRI would be easy! seems not!

I'm on cd14 and we have only managed SWI once so far on CD11. A number of things like tiredness and now today i have a D&V bug so that wont be happening! Seems such a waste of the clomid but maybe i havent ovulated yet, only had HIGH on monitor and no PEAK yet. Will do an OPK soon and see what that says. Dr said to time SWI for days 9-15 so we havent done too well so far!

Morning everyone. Well I had a busy weekend, and though I read all the posts, I didn't really have the time to reply to people. I have been a bit worried this month as my period has only been 1.5 days of light bleeding - with hardly any blood actually reaching the pad. Now it's basically stopped all together with only occasional brown blood on wiping. I also had a slightly later ovulation, and a longer LP.
My usual period is 4-5 days of bleeding, could the B vit complex, and/or vit D be causing this? It's the only thing different this month. I'm worried that if the bleeding is so light, there isn't anything in there for a egglet to bed down into.

I've got my HSG this week, then I should get another consultant appointment through to go over the results. Question is - do I stop the vitamins now, or wait to ask him? Could they be causing problems? After over 18 months of predictable cycles, suddenly things have changed. I feel all unsettled now.

joycep your Mr Woo sounds like he's done a lot of good for you with the diet, lets hope this leads to good things with the TTC too!
freedom welcome here. I'm sorry you've had such a long and hard TTC journey so far, but please do come hang out here while you're waiting.
lisa sorry you're still having bad days after the mc, I can't imagine what it must be like, so just sending some virtual hugs your way.
kitty if you find a solution to guiding your DH into cutting down his games, let me know. The most I can do is guilt trip mine, but I hate doing that as it makes me feel guilty too!
wine well done at getting to the gym. I was intending on going swimming and doing some wii fit, but failed at both. This week I'll manage, surely?
euro you will get there too, it's just a matter of time. We will all get there!
mrsden problems TTC is one thing you have no control over, try not to blame yourself and think you're failing. You wouldn't blame yourself for any other medical condition - sometimes sh*t just happens. Think of it like having asthma or something, it's just there - there may be causes to it, or it might be genetic - there are things you can do to help it, but you can't make it go away, and you can't blame yourself for having it.
city I hope you feel you can relax soon. The end of the month isn't too far away now.
Izzy I hope your bug goes away quick, and you get some well timed SWI in. The days 9-15 advice must surely be the 'average' woman and her 'average' ovulation on day 14. So I wouldn't worry too much, I hope ovulation stays away till you're feeling better!

My DH knows I come on here, and occasionally reads my posts or the ones I'm reading. He's ok with it as long as I don't share anything private about him (that he knows of).

Hi ladies,

Hope everyone's weeks have started well. If all goes to plan, this will be my last week at work for a little while - I feel like I'm ready for a break.

Fatima ? I tend to alternate sides every day so that each side gets a day off. Also, ridiculously, I want to make sure I inject the stim drugs equally near to each ovary so keeping to the same side each day seems to be an easier way of remembering where I've injected what!

Hope you?re feeling better than you were on Friday?

Gin ? the most likely date for EC is next weds (22nd), though I?m kind of hoping it will be before then.

Kitty and stasi - at the sleeping ovaries. The nurse called them inactive, which I didn?t like. I think it?s all this Zita West positive visualisation mullarkey ? it?s turning me a bit woo so much so that I find myself talking to my ovaries now and again

Wine ? I really hope the nasty fibroid gets sorted soon. I agree with mrsd and joycep that there has to be a link between that and no baby. Fingers crossed your appt comes through quickly

Euro ? sorry about the appearance of ertd. And the pregnancy announcement, it?s good news for your friend but I know what you mean about starting to get left behind. I?m in limbo at the moment as most close friends, and my sister, already have children so I do feel left out of that club. It will be our turn soon though.

Mrsd ? I totally agree about TTC affecting confidence, I seem to question my own ability all the time now ? whether it?s TTC, work or anything really. I hope that when our babies do arrive, this feeling goes away.

Joycep ? glad you had another good visit with Mr Woo! It makes sense that there isn?t a one size fits all diet and it?s great that you?ve found something that works for you. I hope it helps move things in the right direction

Freedom ? welcome to the thread. I?m sorry to hear your story, sounds like you?ve had a tough time. I hope this place can bring you some support whilst you're waiting.

City ? glad to hear things are well and I hope the worry goes away after your scan. Please pop back and let us know how you get on

Izzy sorry to hear you?ve got a bug, let?s hope ov stays away until you?re better

Stasi - it?s weird how periods can just change. It might just be an odd month. I had a period at the end of last year which was very light and I ov?d very early ? both unusual for me. I?d maybe keep taking the vits and see how next month pans out? It might be your body adjusting to them.

I too am a games widow. Though only for an hour or so each week night now as we?ve reached a decent compromise lately ? I save up all my recorded TV programmes from the week and watch them on a Sunday evening, which means he can have a marathon gaming session! It seems to work quite well, though I still don't get the argument that killing zombies and chasing aliens is relaxing!

Stasi I am reluctant to fuel the mentalling, but have you done a test after that short period? I really think you should, prior to your HSG. It might just be the vits but it would be so sad if you had managed it this month and the HSG caused problems!

The friend who told me at the weekend that she was pregnant IVF had told me the cycle was unsuccessful and she was going to try again in a couple of months. She wasn't being coy at that point - she hadn't bothered testing because she had a period when she would have expected one! The when she found out she was, she decided not to tell people until after the scan.

I did a test yesterday, which was a BFN. I'll do another on Wednesday before my Thursday scan. I think I may even break out the big guns and do a Boots one as well as an internet cheapie. I am really worried about the possibility of being pg for the HSG, but I don't know how sensitive the sticks are. I would be 18DPO today, maybe I'll take my temp tomorrow morning and see where it's at. I had a clear chart this month, with a temp rise, and clear temp drop morning AF started.