TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

And I'm sorry to hear you have a funeral to go to wine, Hugs.

This thread is quite. I think we are all a bit depressed! I've been to see Gp again about my back and been signed off for a further 4 weeks. Managment are going to be thrilled! Been referred for an MRI as well but im not so sure that GPs can refer so god knows what will happen. I'm on cd 10 today and we were to time SWI form cd9-15 and since or SECHSFAIL the other night im scared to try again but needs must! Wish us luck!

Hope the funeral goes as well as it can wine

Sorry for lack of namechecking but its late and thats my excuse!

I'm posting out of consultant and funeral nerves. Will do little phone updates today! nelly sorry about the row. They are horrid. Hope all sorted and I'm sure all will be fine by ski time (jealous). Hope you get good make up smooching too. I too was that we got asked how long we had been together. It felt very very judgy.

good luck with the consultant wine, I hope you get some answers. And sorry you have to go to a funeral

That sounds like a typical delaying tactic doesn't it nelly? I guess they'll restart the clock when they get your survey back. I bet they're having to justify that they're not giving ivf to the undeserving . So, do they not give ivf to unmarried couples then? It makes me so angry the way it seems to be rationed and treated like it's a huge privilege to get it.

Morning. Going to try and do a catch up post, while I'm waiting for an email to turn up so I can start working on it. Going alllll the way back to my last post:

Nelly How's your sister? Has the news sunk in yet for her? I had one of those letters too, I found it quite disturbing, as all I can think is they're using us for research without giving us a choice. They don't need to know how long DH and I have been together, it wouldn't matter if we only met 2 days before starting TTC! I found it especially galling that they asked how long I'd been married to my ex-husband. That doesn't have anything to do with them!! The only useful thing on my form was a tick box to say I'd be willing to take a short notice appointment if there was a cancellation. I hope you and DH are on better terms today, I'm sure you'll still have a wonderful skiing trip for us to be jealous of next weekend.
MrsPout Congratulations, hope you had a lovely wedding day and are still having a wonderful time somewhere with MrPout.
Kitty How are you doing? When's your consultant appointment, it must be getting close now?
Gin glad you had a good weekend away. I think DH and I should do that sometime. We tend to only go on big holidays, or stay home. A staycation somewhere nice for a weekend would be a good way to make time to talk and SFF, rather than (DH) playing computer games and only ever SWI. I hope telling people is working out ok, sounds like you've had a good start with your boss and friend being so good. Good luck telling your parents, I'm sure it'll be fine.
Izzy Sorry about your sechsfail, I hope things are a bit better now and you tempted MrIzzy into bed stress free. I hope your back is getting a little better after all this time? It can be so draining being in constant pain, and this has been going on for a few weeks now hasn't it?
Mini have an official welcome! Sorry you've got to the 10 month mark. How long are your cycles? Are you at 10 cycles too, or more or less? I hope the medication for the thyroid works soon. I know it can cause problems TTC, but don't know what they are? does it affect ovulation or something else? Congratulations to your friend, it's always nice to hear positive stories.
Apple welcome to the thread, but as always, sorry you have cause to be here. Are you planning to have some tests done? It's a good idea to get at least the basics done soon, some problems are easy to find and treat, so you could get a reason, and a solution to your TTC problems in just a few weeks.
Whatmess I can't advise on things for energy really, having no kids means DH and I just try to sleep more! I hope you both start feeling better soon though, late winter is an awful time for illnesses, as your immune system takes a hammering I think. Maybe a multi-vit will help, or you could have a chat to a friendly pharmacist?
Fatima How did your dildocam and prepping go? I've got my fingers crossed this IVF cycle works for you. We can't self fund without giving up our funded cycles, so if we end up with IVF we'll have to wait. I'll cross that bridge if we come to it though!
Euro I really hope you're feeling better today. So sorry for your BFN, especially after you were feeling positive about the cycle. What day do you have to test for the immune drugs? I'm guessing they wouldn't want the chance of a false negative, did they suggest which tests to use or anything? Sorry, if the questions make you feel worse, if so, please ignore them. I'm just interested what day a doctor would have told you to test, rather than the internet/back of the pg test boxes.
Wine I hope you've got a nice relaxing weekend planned after all your long days at work. I really hope your consultant appointment is helpful tomorrow, if you can, try and tell him about all your frustrations and worry. Hopefully he will respond to that and give you as much information as he can. Also very sorry about the funeral, I hope you don't find the day too draining, and can take some time for yourself this evening.

Waves to everyone not mentioned. An update from me.. I'm waiting for AF to turn up. My cycle this month has been a bit strange, with a +OPK 2 whole days before ovulation, and now I'm on 12DPO and FF says to do a test, but I've had 2 BFN so am just going to wait and see until the weekend. I've been taking B Complex and Vit D this cycle, and wonder if this has changed something. Maybe my LP will be longer (longest ever was 12 days) because of it. I have my HSG next thursday, and am worried if AF is late that I'll still be bleeding or spotting when they do it. Will that cause problems? Still no email for work, but it's time to make tea, so I shall post this before it gets even longer!

Hi everyone, feeling a little bit calmer and less murderous today, you will be glad to know! So now to try and catch up:

stasi my sister is super-excited I think! Yes it has sunk in now, the family are all very excited. My parents don't know I'm TTC and my brother isn't in a settled relationship so my mum especially was thinking one grandchild was her lot . The letter was disturbing wasn't it? I am still about the marriage question, and as for the how long you have been together! OH suggested it might be their way of prioritising, but let's say we hadn't met until I was 36 and we decided that it was true love and to start to TTC right away (given my age.) How upsetting would it be if they turned round and said that all these 28 year olds are before you in the queue because they have been together longer? Grrrr. Sorry about the odd cycle, I hope AF either turns up properly, or, well, just doesn't! I too have started taking multi vits (including several B's and D I think, the sanatogen mother to be ones anyway) and I have mused on here about whether my spotting is less - I think so anyway.

mrsden the marriage question did worry me, they surely can't discriminate on the basis of not being married? The ethics (term used in the loosest sense) around fertility treatment and IVF are all very odd. I think what's annoying me is they won't even give me the appointment until I give them this information. I would be a tiny tiny tiny bit less cross if it was something to do with IVF acceptance criteria, but at this stage it's literally just my first appointment. Ho hum.

wine good luck with the consultant, and I'm sorry I missed that you were going to a funeral today. I hope it isn't too awful - if that's at all possible. Hugs to you today (and every day of course )

Sorry about your back izzy that's a nightmare. A sore back is not to be trivialised. It is scary worrying what your work are going to think, i know, but the doctor has signed you off, it's not like you are skiving. Was it you who said you were a radiologist? Apologies if not, it's just that I can work at home sometimes (finance job, doesn't need me to physically be in one location all the time) but appreciate that virtual x-ray machines aren't that common as yet . Hope you start to feel better soon. Has the doc given you lovely co-codamol? Good luck with the shagging. Was it on this thread I read that someone recommended porn? .

just going to post this as need to go back a page to read other posts, hang on for a few minutes ......

Hello lovely ladies

Sounds like a few of us have had manic weeks at work and I?ve been the same, wish it was Friday already! First day in front of a computer today so this is me trying to catch up with everyone and probably failing miserably

Karbea ? how?s things with you? Hope you?re feeling better. I know how you feel about work, I used to have such a zest for it and now I wish it would just go away for a while! But it is sad that I am bored and not enjoying it like I used to.

*Mrsd& ? sorry AF turned up. But great news that you?re excited about meeting the new babies. It was a relief when I turned that corner with my sister?s pregnancy, I was apprehensive at first as it all felt too raw. Now I can?t wait to meet my little niece when she arrives in a couple of weeks!

Stasi ? good luck for your HSG next week. I think spotting should be fine but I?m not sure about bleeding?

Lemons ? great that IUI is coming round next month for you, it will be here before you know it

Kitty ? sounds like you have a plan for your next appt, and it's definitely good to think about when the time will be right for you.

Izzy ? sorry about the sechsfail, as others have said, it isn?t uncommon and I hope it?s a one off.

An official welcome for minipie! Nice to have you with us and thanks for sharing the story about your friend, always nice to read ones like that

Apple ? hello and welcome! Hope you?re feeling a bit better than you were earlier in the week.

Gin ? well done on telling people ? I?m glad your boss has been so good and your friend sounds amazing. Good luck with telling your parents. We?ve been quite open with people recently and, like Fatima says, it does get easier after being asked the inevitable questions a few times!

Fatima ? It?s good that Jessops backed up what your old hospital had said ? I guess it?s reassuring? How did the MFS appt go? Stop me when I?m teaching you to suck eggs (or repeating myself) but with the injections, the two things I?ve found most useful are to breathe out as the needle goes in and to inject very, very slowly ? it?s against all instinct but I?ve found it less painful.

Ah euro ? I?m so sorry about the BFN, and awful that you had those feelings which disappeared. Hope you?re feeling brighter.

Wine ? sounds like you?ve been working too hard! I hope your appt goes ok today and you get a plan of action. I hope the funeral went as well as these things can. I went to a family funeral yesterday, a lovely service but so sad ? he had no children and his wife couldn?t be there as she?s too ill in a care home. Just puts things in perspective I guess.

Nelly ? I?m so sorry you and DH had a row. How are things today? Skiing might be just what you need next week. And I?m that you?ve received a letter like that. Unfortunately, it does seem like one big fat way of wasting a couple of weeks so you don?t yet get added to the stats yet.

Last day of the down-reg drugs today all being well. I have a scan first thing tomorrow to check that all is as it should be before, fingers crossed, starting stimulation drugs tomorrow. In my head, I keep leaping ahead to the end point of all this but have to remember to take it one step at a time...

Waves to everyone.

Oh my - lots of errors in the above. Apologies.

And x-post nelly - glad you are feeling less murderous today The more I think about the letter you've had, the more odd it is. We were asked how long we'd been together, and all the other 'criteria' questions, but not about marriage. Surely that can't be relevant?

...Right I'm back

Welcome officially to minipie, and in the nicest possible way I'm sorry you are here. May your stay here be short :) That is great news about your friend, all these stories do "normalise" our issues a bit. I know of course that the majority of people just get pregnant by having sex (that's soo 20th Century don't you know...) and when you first realise you aren't in that category it feels like the end of the world and that you are the only person going through it. However the more stories I read of people succeeding in the face of adversity, the more I think it's just another way of getting there. Harking back to previous chat on the thread about how we will feel if we do eventually get pregnant, I won't lie, I suspect I'll still moan about the sickness or swollen ankles or piles or heartburn. But at the same time I will be on tenterhooks, full of wonder and counting my lucky stars all at once.

Welcome also to applepie and same message as to minipie! Did AF turn up or are you still gripping the edge of your seat waiting?

Hello also to mrsSF - and another apology for missing your post. I am wondering if you are a namechanger though...

mrsden well done on seeing pregnant lady without crying, has she given birth yet?

Sorry you are feeling poorly whatmess - I have actually been off work with a sort of cold/lethargy thing. Not flu because I know it wasn't as bad as that, for me it's an annual thing to be honest. usual advice really, keep your fluids up, and try to get some healthy food down you or in my case, cake

Well done on telling people gin but to telling your boss! Hope you have got good reactions. I think I am with mrsden on the not telling people though.

fatima am I losing the plot a bit here? I'm easily confused , but are you having IVF privately and donating eggs, but going through NHS as well as a back up plan? Do you not lose the right to NHS IVF if you've already been privately? I guess not as I'm sure you have looked in to this, but did I dream that I've read that before? Presumably different PCT's are different?

Any news yet euro?

OK I think I am just about caught up, apologies to anyone I haven't namechecked, it's not personal . But haven't heard from mrstrout hope she had a nice wedding, and I was wondering what happened to skeleton - if you are lurking, let us know how you are, we miss your funny posts :)

OK should probably go back to work now, it's so boring though

Oooh ladygee that is so exciting for you, it must feel nice to be doing something so proactive, as opposed to just relying on bloody luck! Thanks yes definitely a lot calmer here today, and I am so so excited about skiing. Haven't been in about 5 years (I've actually lost count!) and the snow is meant to be amazing this year, so aching body aside, it should be fun. OH has never skied though, so I have been quite clear he is going into ski school as the idea of me teaching him will result in divorce before we ever get to the wedding .

Nelly I posted a while ago about our PCT giving free IVF rounds, but self funding means you lose a free go.

I'm not sure why they would do that, though I guess you go through the self and nhs funded cycles at the same hospitals, so you maybe increase the waiting time for nhs patients if you self fund? I doubt they care that much about the waiting lists though.

Very envious of your skiing holiday nelly. When we went last year, it was DH's first time - he had a few lessons and by the end of the week was whizzing past me on the slopes!

On IVF funding, we were told that if our self-funded IVF was successful, we wouldn't be entitled to our NHS round (like we'd care!) but if not we'd just keep moving up the waiting list. Seems to be yet again one of those things that differs from postcode to postcode!

Thanks both, typical that our PCT takes a hard line on it stasi. I also seem to recall that they only offer IVF if you are under 38. That is now less than 6 months away (sob) so chances are I am not going to get it done by NHS anyway. However I may as well at least get some tests for free I suppose? Or should I just give up and go private right away .

Speaking of skiing... I love skiing and we are considering booking a skiing holiday at the moment, but I am wondering what I would do if I found I was pg after booking before we were due to go. (I know, I know, fat chance... but... )

What would you ladies do? Would you go skiing if you were, say, 4 weeks pregnant?

Oh god yes. It's possible (in a dreamland kind of way) that I'd be in the exact same boat, ie due to go skiing at the time AF is due. I really don't think you can shake out a pregnancy at that early a stage. Plus if I was to get pregnant this year, then skiing would be out next year, so got to get it done whilst we still can :)

Mmmm yes I suppose any foetus would be very very small at that point wouldn't it. Guess I could always just be very very cautious and stick to blue runs (boooring ).

I could tell myself that sod's law means BFP is more likely if I have a pg-unfriendly holiday booked...

Exactly. But don't tell Sod, just in case he double bluffs

Blue runs, pffft. My OH better be able to handle reds at least by ooh day 3, otherwise I'm running (skiing?) off with a sexy ski guide

Right, I think you have convinced me

my OH was rubbish at skiing when we first got together, I trained him encouraged him to improve, now he's better than me (well almost ) and he's the one dragging me down black runs when I just want a nice easy blues and reds day. I have created a monster

Hi there my name is Lisa i'm new to this website, i'm 38, nearly 39 ttc #1 for 10 months now, mc1 at 6 weeks, mc2 at 10 weeks, slightly elevated NK cells, on prednisolone 25 mgs, going to ask for clomid on Monday :-)

euro Sorry about your BFN

wine Hope the funeral went ok? And the consultant?

mrsden She said she's no idea why DHs SA is so low, just that it is but that we've ruled out the worse things so that's ok

Nelly Sorry about your row with DH, did you manage to make up?

Stasi Dildocam and appointment went well thanks, just got a week to wait for AF to arrive, it's going to be the longest week ever!

ladygee MFS appointment went well, scan was fine. I did a practice injection with saline and it wasn't too bad. Didn't hurt too much going in, was harder than I imagined to press the plunger bit down. Stung a little afterwards but that was it. I was left with a tiny dot mark and I kept showing DH my "wound"
I hope your scan goes well tomorrow and you can start stimming

Nelly Yes we're going private as well. We found out at the original NHS hospital that our only hope was ICSI so I looked straight into private egg share while we waited. We then switched our referral to Jessops (due to the nasty nurse as 1st hospital) and so have had to go through the referral stage again. The original hospital said it was fine to go private while we wait but i'm not sure about at Jessops, i'm presuming it's the same because the funding will still be coming from our PCT. We didn't say anything though just incase, it's probably going to be at least a year before we get to the top of the waiting list anyway, so we're hoping we wont even need the funded treatment in the end All very confusing, I know

Welcome to lisa Sorry about you MC and that you're having to join us on this thread hopefully you wont be here for long

to everyone else I haven't mentioned. Hope you're all well
I agree this thread was a bit quiet, been busier today though. We need to keep it busy to get more BFPs

Evening lovely ladies, lots to catch up on again.

I am so jealous of you skiers. I?ve been on three skiing holidays and love everything about them (mountains, blue skies, fresh air, alcohol, cheese-what?s not to like?) except the skiing itself which scares the life out of me, I?ve had several sets of lessons but can?t get over the fear, and dearly wish I?d learned when I was young.

nelly sorry about your letter from the hospital, which sounds really weird and time wasting, and would have made me annoyed with its implied judgyness about levels of deserving-ness. Also about your row with OH, I hope you make up soon. And re the age cutoff for IVF, I?d hope that with you being well and truly in the system before your relevant birthday, they?ll still treat you. Once you?re in, it?s out of your control how quickly they get round to it, so I can?t see how they could then say they wouldn?t treat you ? fingers crossed.

izzy oh no about your back, hope it gets better. And the SECHSFAIL ? aaaargh, that is the last thing we need isn?t it, but the men must feel the pressure sometimes.

stasi I can so identify with what you said about your weekend being all about DH staying home and playing computer games. Not sure whether it bothers you or not but it drives me round the bend and is the one thing in our relationship that we regularly argue about I hope ERTD doesn?t turn up for you. Re the HSG I was told there needed to be no bleeding at all, I guess because the dye could send the blood back inside you ? ick.

ladygee I could definitely do with taking a leaf out of your book if and when I start IVF. You always sound so calm and composed. Excited for you that you are starting stimming :)

gin your weekend sounds perfect. And your friend sounds awesome.

Waves and official welcomes to minipie and applepie

mrsd well done on the non-upsetting preg lunch. It does feel like an achievement when something like that no longer makes you feel crappy doesn?t it.

whatmess sorry you are feeling poorly, hope you feel better soon, and nelly too.

fatimaglad that things are progressing in the right direction.

Welcome to lisacn and sorry to hear about your mc?s.

Waves to joycep lemons karbea pout euro and anyone I have, inevitably, missed.

Well we had our follow up appointment today. I was really stressed about it but luckily it was first thing in the morning so got it over with quickly. He went over my results; HSG all normal; scan ok but showed left ovary is polycystic, but he wasn?t bothered about it as I?m ovulating. It made me think though, because I get ovulation pain on the LH side every month ? wonder if I?m only ovulating on one side?

Annoying he didn?t have a copy of the latest sperm result with the

thank you ladies, i'm hoping the clomid will help me get my bfp sooner rather than later but have to wait and see what they offer me x

Evening ladies, for those that were asking yes thanks a certain calm has returned to the Nelly household, thankfully. We went shopping for new ski jackets tonight, didn't actually buy any but it did make me very excited!

minipie we ended up booking flights ourselves and getting our chalet through this website but also looked at ifyouski, igluski, crystal, ski world, laplagne chalets etc. So much to look at it's hard to know where to start! The chalet we eventually booked was with this company but I won't say which one in case you decide to book also - then we can just pretend we don't know each other . Haha at you creating a monster. OH better not be faster than me!

Hello Lisa sorry you have had to join us, but nice to have you! Sorry about the MCs too, that must be very hard.

Thanks for clearing up my confusion fatima. I remember the evil nurse only too well, she really was the work of the devil

Morning lovely ladies,

To keep the thread moving at speed and to apologise for my absence this week, I am sneakily posting before going to work. There is too much work to do and too few trains that run (on time) at the moment in the lemon-household, so that explains it all. All will be better after next Wed (massive deadline). At this rate our first round of IUI will come quick! I am about 7DPO and have not had a chance to mental yet :) Just one more week and one more cycle...

I have read everything (and been sitting here for far too long already) but don't recall too much except:

SKIIING - so jealous! We had sunny time off over Xmas so no more hols for us until May/June. But it is fab. Have good times all of you, hurrah for shopping for jackets and being on speaking terms nelly! And your hols sound wonderful mrsd! Which of the new pies is googling away? I hope you get a nice snowy break too! Welcome to both mini and applepie, as you can imagine I approve of your names. Welcome to Lisa too, so sorry all three of you have joined (officially) and about the MC. Many sympathies!

I would like a few leafs from Fatima and Stasi's books. You two sound so calm and collected about everything. Much respect for the injecting fatima and I am keeping my fingers crossed about good stimming and lovely embryos and successful pg! I am still a bit about the differences PCTs make, before this I was aware of the postcode lottery and appalled by it, in theory. However, the practice of it makes me a lot more cross. It just is so ridiculously unfair. Oh, re: questionnaires and HIV-tests, we have had both (but as I had poor DH tested for every disease under the sun before we threw out the condoms, I was fairly certain about the results beforehand), I think it is just practice here. Funnily enough, the first hospital we were with did not ask whether we were married, but the second did. Not sure what they make of it (our does make a point of saying it does not make a difference re:elegibilty for treatment, but why one would want to ask then...)

There has been no sighting of mrstrout yet? I hope she is having a fab honeymoonish time and it is not being stuck oooop norf because of transport issues.

Sorry about the BFN euro, how cruel you have to test with your treatment, that is nasty. Good you had a reasonable appointment kitty and I hope your DH's sperm improves next time so you can join me in the IUI trajectory. Fingers crossed of course the miracle happens before! And I hear you about computer games - I have taken to just going out to see friends/the gym etc when he plays them...

Oh and a quick moan, I stupidly decided to weigh myself for the first time in about ten years and despite being a dress size or two smaller (from a full 16 to 12/14) I seem to have gained nearly a stone , which firmly puts me in the overweight category and makes me very unhappy. So once I have surved the deadline, I am back on the wagon: no alcohol and lots of gym (although I suspect there is an element of muscle heavier than fat, as I am really smaller than I have been since I was about 16). GRRRR

On that happy note, I better get on with some work... Waves and love to you all, and no cakes for a while!

Apologies on numerous typos in the monster post, hope and guess you will understand most of it.