TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

izzy I think that is fairly common. We have had the odd SECHSFAIL since ttc. It never happened before!

Welcome mini. I am glad your GP is being helpful. Where did your friend go for IVF with immune treatment? I am having the immune treatment whilst trying the old fashioned way atm but we are heading for IVF pretty soon.

Hi can I join you ladies??

I've been ttc since April last year. Not had any tests done yet as just under the 12 month mark and there were 2 months in the mix where we weren't actively trying (although not using protection either and came off depo injection 2 years ago).

Feeling really down today as I'm due on tomorrow but have tested today and got a bfn

Think a large glass of wine is in order tonight!

Welcome apple , minipie and also mrsSF, sorry I missed your post the other day. Getting a BFN is awful apple, I think a large glass of something is most certainly in order.

izzy I think performance issues are fairly common for long term ttcers. The pressure gets a bit much for men sometimes.

minipie do you mind if I ask a you a few things about thyroid? Did you suspect you had a problem? What tests were done? Do you know what your results were? I ask because my TSH came back as 3.1 which the Dr never mentioned as a problem but I've since read that it should be below 2 when ttc so I'm wondering whether I should go back and ask about it. Because I have to pay each time I go to the Dr, I don't really want to have to go and would prefer to wait until the fertility clinic.

AF is ok today, heavy but not painful. One friend had a baby yesterday and another one is due any day. I was so good today and managed to go and have lunch with the friend that is due and it didn't make me feel too bad. A big step for me . And I actually feel quite excited about meeting the babies.

Hi euro. I am racking my brains but can't remember where she said she went. It's a private clinic - she said it looks quite run down, so at first she was worried, but she has been impressed with them. From a quick google I think it might be the ARGC as that rings a bell but not sure.

I like your term SECHSFAIL. With us it tends to be more of a SECHSREFUSE issue (sometimes DH just won't cooperate).

hi apple, another pie! Sorry about your BFN. Have you asked the doctors for any tests? I got blood tests and scan done after 6 months of trying (had PCOS symptoms), so you might be able to get some tests done if you wanted?

mrsden I don't mind at all! My sis and gran have had thyroid issues (though weirdly, overactive not underactive like me) so that led GP to do the tests I think - she tested for TSH, T3 and T4. My T3 and T4 are actually normal (can't remember the numbers) but my TSH is very high (10.5!!). I was told that "normal" is from 1 to 5, so 3.1 would be in that range. Do you know if you are ovulating?

yes, I ovulate most months but I do have pcos according to a scan and blood tests. I was told that 1-5 was normal for TSH too, it's just that a few people have said that they were told it needs to be kept under 2 for ttc. But I'm not sure if that is only for people who have been diagnosed and are taking meds. It is all so confusing. DH has very low count so we know we need IVF, we're saving up for it and I will make sure I ask about thyroid then. I just don't want to go through IVF thinking we only need to sort out DH to find that I have a problem that stops it working. But I'm sure these clinics know what they're doing and will sort me out!

Hopefully, now you are getting the thyroid sorted you will get a BFP really soon minipie

Hi everyone

Just wanted to pop in before I have to go get dd from nursery and canvas advise on things to take or do to get energy levels up and stave off colds/bugs. Both DH and I have been "not great" recently, not ill just not great. Feels like we are coming down with something but not quite getting whatever it is. I guess it comes with working in an open office with desk sharing (germs galore). Anyway, with my op coming and DH's required performance post op , Izzy you got me thinking, I wondered if it was worth trying to boost our immune systems. What works for you?

Mrsden Yes, I'm booked in for a lap and dye ovarian drilling with an investigation for endometriosis at the same time.

Welcome Mini and Apple

thanks mrsden! I hope so too. Though if it needs to be below 2 I have a long way to go from 10.5... hadn't heard that. I'm also being referred to an endocrinologist about the thyroid (did I mention my GP rocks? ), so will ask about necessary levels for TTC when I see them.

sorry to hear about your DH low count. how's he reacted? DH was very nervous about his results. He had slightly low motility and normal forms but GP didn't seem overly worried. Have you tried IUI or would that not help in your case?

whatmess when is your op? might you be able to squeeze in a holiday of some sort pre or post op?

izzy we too have experienced the SECHSFAIL( great term euro) ! Poor DH had it quite badly and it was particularly frustrating when I was convinced that lack of baby was due to bad timing of swi - before we knew about SCHPERMSFAIL! Just give it some time and I'm sure all will be fine.

Welcome apple and sorry you are now officially joining us mini.

Well I've had a week of Telling people about our problems and impending ivf. Told my boss, who was brilliant. Not an easy conversation talking about your husbands sperms with your boss but I managed it and without crying. Also told one of my bestfriends, who was lovely, cried a little, offered to help us financially and then got me a big glass of wine! A truly great friend :) Just have our patents to tell now. Sooo hard. Am gearing up to telling my mum next week once she's back from hols...

Hope everyone is ok and keeping warm. It's FREEZING!

Gin GOod luck with telling your parents. We've told quite a few people now and it's got to the point it's second nature, i've said the same thing and answered the same Qs many times

Whatmess Hope you're feeling better, a few of us at work keeps feeling like we're coming down with something but never do. I'm worn out today so I think an early night is in order

Welcome Apple and minipie now it's officially ten months. Hopefully you both won't be with us for long

We had our appointment at the new NHS hospital (Jessops) yesterday. Basically confirmed what we were told at the referral at the old hospital. DHs new SA was as poor as we expected so backed up the other tests. He got his FSH, LH and Testosterone results which were normal, so no testicular failure. Also, got results for cystic fibrosis carrier and chromosomal abnormalities which were both normal.
The consultant agreed with previous diagnosis and offered us DIUI or IVF with ICSI so we've been put on the waiting list for one funded cycle of ICSI. With the waiting lists it probably won't be till next year so hopefully private IVF will work in the meantime.

I have my dildocam and prepping appointment at MFS tomorrow, bit excited and a bit nervous of the injections.

Going to go relax in the bath with my new temple spa goodies

Morning,
I'm afraid no time for a holiday mini, the best I'll get is the time after the op to recover. It's at the start of March.
Off to work. Will be back tonight for a chat. DH's night with friends, so I intend to curl up on the sofa with a romantic comedy he refuses to watch and a glass of vino. I can't wait .

Hi all. I will try to come back and name check later. Can I just have a moan first? I am feeling properly despondent today. i had to test this morning to see if I could stop the immuno-suppressing drugs and it was, as expected, a negative. So on to cycle 16. When is this ever going to happen for me? Surely it is my turn now?

Quick post from horrid manic work to give you a big hug euro is there any chance it could be too early still? I think you are fully entitled to a big old moan, you have a plan and are following it and you're right that it is high time for the pendulum to swing the other way. But, take hope from the recent bfps we've had on here. Sometimes, frustratingly, time is a big factor. And you have another plan in the wings. I have such good feelings about everyone in this thread - its hard to rustle that up about ourselves tho isn't it? I prescribe wine and cake you WILL get there x

Will catch up soon, sooo busy at work.

Oh and whatmess I had a lap before Xmas if you want to ask qs. Also, I've found vitamin d spray has really helped with my tiredness after I had a virus last year.

sorry you are feeling despondent and sorry for the BFN euro. I think we all know what that feels like. I was thinking today that The Sadness has been taken over by frustration, I want it to be MY turn. And I really wish I could do something to make it your turn too. I am so fed up with all the ttc malarky, and of seeing other people manage it so easily. I do think that wine is right though, we will all get there in the end.

Good news about being put on the NHS waiting list fatima, hopefully you won't need it though as this first round will work for you. Also, great news about your DH's genetic results. Did they offer any explanation as to why his count is low?

Well done on telling people gin. I think that's a big step and takes bravery. I'm not ready for that yet and I have been wondering whether I might not tell at all. I could get away with it as I'm in a different country to my family so they wouldn't see me.

Oh Euro, I am sorry. As wine says could it be too early or do you just have a gut feeling it hasn't worked this month? Bfps can take until about 17dpo to show. I know the feeling all too well - when you're getting treatment , there is just that extra expectation for it to bloody well work. It will come your time , it will god damn it. It will be all our times one day !! In the meAntime whinge away!

Thank you all for indulging me. I actually thought I was in with a chance this month. I felt "pregnant" around 4-7dpo and was getting strange dragging pains that I was hoping might be implantation. And then it all stopped overnight and I knew it was over. The test just confirmed it. I've had the dragging sensation before but not for a while. The annoying thing is as well that I will probably have a mental few days waiting for my period. Last month the immuno drugs seemed to make it a few days late. Helpful.

euro I'm really sorry about the bfn, that's crap. It WILL be your turn soon though. And you have a very good backup plan in place. It is awful though, that 7dpo feeling where you just know its over. I totally sympathise. Hugs to you.

oh euro, sorry about your BFN. I will keep hoping for you till you get AF since an early BFN isn't conclusive... but I know it's so horrible to get your hopes up and then be disappointed. And yes it is definitely your turn.

Can I ask, how did you realise you had immune issues? did you have tests for antibodies or did you have other symptoms?

fatima thanks for the welcome. Sounds like you have a plan! hope the private ivf works for you.

gin your friend sounds lovely! And well done for telling your boss. I can't imagine telling the partners at work

mini when my acupuncturist looked at the detailed medical history she took back in April last year she mentioned it. I think the fact that I have Raynaud's and my mother has arthritis were red flags as these are autoimmune conditions. I also never get colds anymore! I kept the immune stuff in mind as I went through all the standard tests and scans and when they came back normal I went to a private consultant who speciliases in immune testing and got tested. I wish I had done it 6 months earlier when the acu mentioned it but it seemed like a lot of money to spend before I had even had basic blood tests and scans.

Really sorry about the BFN Euro. Your frustration is so understandable. I hope your AF isn't late and you feel more upbeat soon.

Thanks for the offer Wine.
I guess my most pressing question is did it regulate your periods and does the day of the Op count as CD1 or did you have to wait for AF before trying?

Ah ok thanks euro that makes sense. good that you did get it diagnosed - I know what you mean about acting earlier but there are so many possible tests out there that it's hard to say "these are the ones I must shell out for".

The thread feels quiet at the moment. Is everyone hibernating and keeping warm? Well euro it's rubbish if you thought you felt things and then it went away. But you know, I have no idea what symptom would make me excited now, I've had so so many. Hope you're ok.

whatmess the lap has changed my periods I think. I had a good 4-5 days spotting before and the two periods I've had since have had NO spotting, which I haven't had since I was 18. Odd. Bt I'm so regular I can set my watch to my period (cd1) so that hasn't changed. It came exactly on time after the lap, in spite of considerable bleeding much more than a periods worth after the op. I had it on cd 13, bled for about 7 days and then got my proper period on cd 28 just like clockwork. So I don't think cd1 is the day of the op. I was told strictly no sex til after I had had a period and to be honest, I really didn't feel like it! The op isn't so bad and I felt right as rain after 2 weeks but the first week I did feel pretty yuk, mostly cos of the anaesthetic really. I would advise to anyone, if they can, to have two weeks off. But a week minimum. It took a week for me to dispel the gas!

Well, I'm knackered, been working twelve hour days and DONE IN. but still managing to squeeze in thoughts of ttc often. Blah. Consultant appointment tomorrow. Please please let him clarify some things for us so I can feel like we are moving forward. I have reached the end of the not knowing. I also have a funeral tomorrow so grim day really.

Just thought I'd slap myself about with one born every minute.

Thanks Wine. that's really helpful, especially as I did not know about the 'no sex'. DH has cancelled an overseas work trip as we thought we could start trying more or less as soon as I felt up to it.
He'll be a bit miffed when I tell him, however I am not too upset as I kind of wanted him here to help with dd as I'm not sure how quickly I'll recover.
I have told work I'll probably be off for two weeks but I wasn't sure if the hosp would sign me off for that long as their info sheet suggests some women feel well enough to go back to work after 48hrs.

Boy am I looking forward to possibly having a regular 28 day cycle. Don't think that's ever happened.

Know what you mean about it being quite. I lost the thread completely for a few hrs. Not sure where it went but it wasn't on pgs 1-3. Strange.

Have just finished watching a lovely romantic comedy as DH is out and dd was as good as gold. Was such a nice evening I think I may make Weds my ME night from now on. Will start thinking about next weeks tear jerker now .

Well, thanks again Wine, will a silent wave to everyone else [feel like I might be disturbing such a peaceful evening].

Quiet even

Hi everyone

Sorry I've not kept up for the last few days, work has been very busy and had loads of things going on. However just wanted to say boo to a big BFN for euro. I have all but given up testing (though I know why you had to) but there is nothing worse than seeing the Big Fat Disappointment in full glorious non-technicolour .

Hello to the newbies, and general waves and hellos to everyone.

We got a letter in from the hospital today which was a bit of a cop-out really, to buy the hospital more time to fill their stats . It was a letter saying that they had our referral, now we have to fill in a questionnaire that says nothing more than personal details, how long we have been trying, whether we have kids/have been pregnant before, how long we have been together and how long we have been married - what do the last two have to do with anything, and why do they need this earth shattering information before they can even give us an appointment ? Not to mention they clearly have our name and address as they used it to send the letter, and I'm fairly sure the doctor would have provided most of the rest. So they say that we will respond "within 6 weeks" of receiving the questionnaire and current waiting time is 12 weeks. But this 2-week postal tennis is just non-time in their stat world. Grrrr - public service inefficiency rant .

Anyway to ice this thoroughly pissed off cake, OH and I have had a massive storming row tonight. Won't go into details, but he went out at 9 to go to the gym in a big huff. I have therefore no idea whether we are going to be speaking in the immediate future, let alone persuade him to fill in this form asap. All of this is a little unfortunate, as we have (out of jealousy from MrsDen's break) booked to go skiing next weekend! I do hope we have come out of our mutual rage by that point.

Sorry for the down post, sometimes life just pisses me off sometimes . I am working from home tomorrow so will endeavour to a) respond to everyone rather than just talk about me and b) be in a better mood :)