Flight BFP2012 - passport ready it's our time!

[Countmyblessings]

Hi Ladies - this flight is going on Auto - pilot !
Feeling good things for all still wanting to stay aboard our Flight BFP2012- Welcome one and all!
As we share this journey!

Lil: no.

Morning!

POAS this morning and another bfn. Still no AF. Still feeling a but crampy tho. Will keep you posted.

Oh flour damn those BFNs. Maybe you have not yet got enough hCG in your system. For some women it can take longer to enter the urine. Could you have ov'd later?

Well I am completely effed off with my body. Started spotting yesterday.........stopped almost completely today wish my body would just SORT IT OUT!!!!

Sorry for shouting

Anyway it's a lovely day, I've had a hair cut and my plants are doing great. Plus I have my pre-op on Thursday and my HSG a week on Monday so things are looking up!!

First of all, congratulations Lil! That's great news, you've finally got there, I'm really pleased for you.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I think it's safe to say that the last three days have been the worst of my life so far.

I'm totally heartbroken. Yesterday went ok in terms of it being relatively dignified and not as frightening as I thought it would be but the pain was bad before the painkillers kicked in. I had my own room and bathroom so had privacy which was good. The nurses were so kind and responsive but at the end of it all I've lost a baby at ten weeks and all I feel is overwhelming sadness.

We will start to try again when the bleeding stops but I'm worried that if I do get pregnant again I'll just be sad still and assume the worst will happen. I'm scared I'll get depressed again too. For now my short term goals are to try and avoid crying in public where possible but as everything seems to remind me that I'm not pregnant anymore it may not happen that way. I thought I'd done so well in not getting sentimental over being pregnant and not allowing myself to get excited but it turns out that I did love the baby after all.

Anyway, I'll pop back around from time to time. Really hoping I'll ovulate at my normal time, will start to temp again soon. x

Oh disco i'm so sorry for all that you're going through. Try to concentrate on taking each day at a time, allow yourself to grieve and try not to worry about the future. If you start feeling that depression is taking hold again do go and speak to someone before it gets bad.

Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts.

Disco, have been thinking about you the last few days..... so sorry for everything that you've been going through. I know the intention is always there, to not get attached until you have reached certain milestones, but I don't think any woman can help but develop that bond at even the earliest stage.
Please look after yourself and give yourself time to grieve.....
and when the time is right, I hope that everything will have already settled back into the normal cycle and you see a BFP before you know it.
Sending you lots of hugs and love. x

Lil - congratulations!! It's a wonderful way to go into the weekend. No wonder you have a big grin! x

Moo - any more news on the spotting? I think I can sympathise a little on the stop/start/disappearing/not sure WTH is going on with spotting/AF, albeit it only happened to me last month. Hopefully it figures itself out, and the sooner the better for you.

I'm not quite sure what is actually happening this month. FF had me ov on Monday (and I had just managed to get in some SWI on the Sunday and Monday) but I'm beginning to think my temps were wrong and actually represented a slight fever (I have finally succumbed to a virus that seems to be going around work). Towards the end of this week I have been getting EWCM and cervix has been really high and soft, which doesn't tally up with ov being on Monday. But then, if I've had a temperature, this would no doubt have affected my actual temping so I don't think I'd actually be able to work if I'd actually ov'd from that alone. And having thought ov was on Monday, I haven't been using any Ov tests. Oh well, I figure I might as well write this month off and just try again in April. Hopefully that will be our month.

Thanks Disco I'm glad you popped back, I've been thinking about you a lot the past few days. Whatever I say will be inadequate but look after yourself.

As flour says please go and see someone if you feel the depression is more than the expected sadness, from experience don't let it get too bad or the road back is longer and harder.

Take each day as it comes and it will get better. There are lots of people with experience of mc on here, maybe having a look on their boards might help when you feel up to it. We'll always be here too whenever you're sad, angry, scared or happy.

Lots of love and hugs xxxxx

Hi all, Just thought I would pop in and see how you're all doing. I've been lurking (in a nice, non-stalkerish way) and thinking of you all in your various situations.

lil - congratulations, so pleased you got there! it seems it's just a matter of time. Hope it gives the other TTCers hope!

Festie and Rusulka - glad you're both doing well. Here's to a lovely non-eventful pregnancy for you both.

disco - i am so sorry for you love. I've been lurking for a while and was really hoping for the best for you. Nothing anyone can say is there? Sending big big hugs. Take it easy. Rest and be kind to yourself. I am thinking of you.

I don't have good news either - lost my baby too. :( It was an ectopic pregnancy so they had to take the tube. All quite dramatic and scary but I am at home now and doing ok.... whatever ok means. Ok enough to venture back to MNet! I still have one tube which is allegedly in good condition so will try again at some point when i feel ready.

Lots of good wishes to everyone in whatever situation you're in.

Berries xx

Oh my goodness berries Im so sorry that must've been so scary. Take care of yourself, lovely.

disco been thinking about you too. You sound so strong, I'm so sorry this happened.

Sending you both good wishes xx

Oh Berries I'm so sorry. I hope you're being well looked after and are taking things easy. You know where we are anytime you want to chat / vent. Take care xxx

It seems to be a sad time for this thread atm.

Disco and Berries so so sorry for you both. I can't imagine what you're going through.

But come out fighting on the other side please? You can do it!

I'm going to try and cheer us up a bit, but it's not going to work...

I knitted something!

And I can't even fucking knit!

Ha!

I cast on ok, looked up increasing (and didn't fuck it up) then had to do some decreasing, which I looked up (and didn't fuck up) and then I had to cast off ( which I'd forgotten so had to look up) and didn't fuck that up either!

I'm feeling mildly knitting-ambitious. Might try something a bit more daring...

Disclaimer I did knit it on broom handles, so it probably wasn't that hard.

Very impressive Rusulka, what did you knit? I think we need a picture.

Oh no Berries...I'm so sorry for you and your loss. What a traumatic thing to have to go through and now deal with. Losing one of your tubes as well as your baby is just so hard on you. How are you recovering from the surgery physically? I hope you aren't in too much pain. I'm sending you a psychic hug and hope you recover emotionally and physically sooner rather than later.

Lil when are you due? I need a recap on your ttc story. What do you think did it for you this cycle?

i've been awake since 5am and have innumerable small cries already but...thank fuck it's sunny! All the rain we had down here yesterday just madeit all even more depressing. I think a little day trip somewhere beautiful is in order.

I didn't like to say in the last post, Lil.

Basically it's a photography prop for a newborn or young baby- a hammock. In theory the parents hold the strap at either end, and suspend it just off the floor/ bed/ cushions so you can get a nice picture of them fast asleep (and apparently naked) in a nice soft hammock against a coloured background.

You can even tie it to a sexy looking branch!

Being me, I wanted to take a picture in the garden, assuming my gladioli, iris, lupins and delphiniums come up. And I haven't sown 2 of them yet!

I used a strand of boucle wool and a strand of what amounts to basically big fat wool, so it's come out really thick and cosy, so I'm sure the baby would be warm enough. Not that I'm going to go out in snow of course, I'll wait for decent weather (but not hold my breath in this country).

I really must stress it wasn't that hard! Been looking for other projects- Ravelry is a great site for free patterns- but since I only knit on 20mm needles, I'm finding it difficult to get other patterns, lol!

There is another hammock which is a stork pouch, and I DEFINITELY want to hang that from the plum tree. Shame it's in blossom now! Or it might look nice against the cherry tree bark, nice contrast of soft knit and hard horizontal striations, hmmm...

Hi disco a day out somewhere gorgeous sounds like a lovely idea, try to enjoy it x

As to what worked basically it was the one month I gave up temping, gave up the diet and ate any crap I wanted and only swi when we felt like it! I knew roughtly when I was due to ov from my past temping and so we made sure we swi around the right time but didn't do ED or even EOD unless we really wanted too. Basically stopping ttc was what did it! (maybe all those 16 yr olds that only did it once are on to something )

Berries sending you lots of hugs and warm thoughts, take care xx

Rusulka it sounds gorgeous, will check out that website as I want one too (although not due till 21st Nov so might be a bit chilly for outside shots :()

Am worrying as still not feeling pregnant and even hurty boobs aren't hurting that much. Will wait till we do the CBD tomorrow before I start locating knitting patterns.

Thanks for the hugs everyone. It feels so shit right now and you're right disco - i feel doubly robbed as they took my tube :( Though i am happy to be alive as it was apparently rather close.

Physically things are getting easier but emotionally i am pretty up and down. Got set off today in the park by seeing a couple of siblings (toddler and baby) with the age gap i would have had if this baby would have worked out. I know i am so so so so lucky to have DS though so if it's at all possible i love him even more.

Lil - it's funny you say it was the 'not trying' which worked. The month we conceived we were much more relaxed about it. I've decided after I have my first AF I will temp for a couple of cycles to check they've not changed but when we're ready to TRY again i am just going to bonk DH rather than all the CBFM/OPK etc.... All too stressful otherwise.

disco - how are you feeling? Hope you managed to get out and get some air. Is it sunny where you are?

Rusulka - your stories make me laugh!! Think i might hang around here some more even though i'm not going to TTC for a while now.

Sending hugs to all - especially if you're finding today hard xxxxxx

Oh berries, I am so sorry to hear your news. Obviously, I am glad you are safe and well, but you have my heartfelt sympathies having gone through what I think must be every woman's worst nightmare.

I hope you are being looked after and are being kind to yourself. xxx

disco - thank you for coming back and updating us. I'm glad you were treated with compassion and are having time to heal. The emotional healing will take the longest of course, as others have said, don't suffer alone if you think extra help would be beneficial. That goes for you too, berries. xxx

Lots of love to you both xxx

Thanks festie - I am already on the waitlist for counselling for my depression (my life is a dream just now) so now i'll have something else to talk about..... I feel like i need it as i seem to have very fertile lucky friends in RL and nobody to talk to really - mumsnet rocks!

Berries, so sorry to hear of your news. We're all here for you, whatever you want to say or rant about. I hope everyone is looking after you and that you are being given time to heal. Sending you lot of hugs and will be thinking about you over the next few days. x

Well the CBD has confirmed it we are pregnant! However have been having cramps just down the right side like I do when ov'ing so getting a bit worried as it is so localised and been going on for most of yesterday and this am - going to see the doc today so will mention it to them.

Hope everyone is well.

Flour I've still got my fx for you.

Berries I'm glad your sticking around.

Disco how was your day out yesterday? Hope you had nice weather for it as it started raining here.

We have 3 posts left so really need a new thread - there was talk of flying mattresses and switzerland if anyone can work that into a title!

Great news Lil. I'm sure it will all be fine but def worth mentioning to the doc. Trust your instincts on it. I can't remember if it's your first pregnancy or not but if you have any doubts do take them to your doc.

Morning all.

Berries i am so sorry for what you are going through life can sometimes be so cruel and unfair. You know we are here for kind words, tea and sympathy.

Disco how are you fairing?

Lil glad you are seeing the doc but I am sure that it is nothing to worry about; at least he/she will be able to put your mind at ease. And pleased that the not trying was the solution. Might give that a go when I have my mini op.

Rusulka yey for knitting. I am half way through the worlds shortest and weirdest scarf, but was only using it to get back into the habit of knitting. I will not have my Easter chicks done in time for Easter though, might be a project for next year. Hopefully by then I will actually be good at it. Hope all is well with the MiL.

I'm on CD1 today - which fairs well for my HSG a week today. Kind of excited but dreading it at the same time.

Hmmmmm, new title............something like join us on our magic flying mattress as we journey to Switzerland

Maybe not......hey!

Roll up, roll up.....

New thread here!