Those rats are jolly well going to be smacked this cycle and AF shall have arrows, hatred and misery cast upon her! No argument shall be brooked on both points.

[SantaAndHisChristmasImps]

Rubbish thread title, apologies.

Morning everyone else!

I spent all day yesterday taking the little google man for walks on streetview around where we'll be moving to. Today I must do some work!

Cheerio.

Far - that is so tough on you both. We are all sending you a massive brooking hug.

Can I suggest that now you are having cycles monitored you try to book time off work so you can be together when it counts and not try to fit SWI in around the rest of your lives. Mr Far obviously loves you but is clearly upset. As are you of course. You both need each other more than ever. You need to treat yourselves like royalty mid cycle - somehow see if you can reinject the magic back in the sex..?

A peak is the right day to dtd - you still have time. Tell him to take a sicky! You take a sicky. Get him home and try to have some lovely time together.

Olives - hope you are on the mend.

Imps have a cracking holiday and come back pregnant with triplets please.

Whimsi - stop time-wasting you slacker.

ps - no more sore jugs here. A big progesterone dip you reckon? cd26 - I guess that would be about right. Is it normal to have sore boobs as early as cd21?

Oh gosh far you're not pathetic at all. I have mini meltdowns all the time. It is hard, and there's no getting around it ? and men just don't seem to get it, too.
Can you play it cool next cycle? Sort of, not tell him when you're ovulating, and just come on to him ? so there's no pressure? For tonight, I second whimsy's idea of a make-up SFF sneaky SWI :o It's defo not too late btw.

I saw you as a follicle on a screen via foof scan Muah ha ha ha haaa!
Are you having a third scan so you know when it pops far ?

I think that's a great idea Beedle - I do wish we could self-refer here. Do you get a ?free? but not really NHS sort of service, or is it private/paid for?

I hope you're feeling better this morning Stasi insomnia sucks :)

Temp's still up today, so I'm sure I ov'd on CD15, earliest ever! Not sure what has made the difference Imps ? I only started B6 yesterday, I'm just on pregnacare and thyroid meds. But my ovulation date has been erratic all along ? CD18 for 3 months, then CD38, CD21, now CD15. I have been feeling a bit hyperthyroid the past fortnight and it's conceivable that's made a difference this month? I totally agree though, my 38 day-er was soul destroying! exaggeration

Snuck in a safety shag last night but it was probably a bit late. Fun though :o

Sorry, that should have been CD18, CD26 CD21 and now CD15 :o

Thanks whim bean and pop all. The joke is I have not even told him about the cycle monitoring in order to take the pressure off. I feel like I am giving this my all and he can't even be bothered to have sex with me every now and again. I know its the wrong attitude but I can really see it driving a wedge between us. Taking time off etc would make it worse, even more pressure. I don't think I can go on clomid even if that is what the consultant suggests as I am not pumping myself full of drugs (that are not without risks/side effects) for him to just shrug his shoulders and say/ sorry I am not in the mood.

We are going away this weekend and the timing would have been perfect for no pressure SWI and I only go and bloody ovulate 3 days early. I give up. The world is conspiring against me. Gah!!!!!

pop I have another scan on Thurs morning to see what is going on but I am feeling really meh about it all. I am just so angry with him. Right enough about me I am boring even myself.

Who is next to confirm the obvious then???

Oh Far, massive squodgy hugs to you .

It's so bloody difficult isn't it? OH and I were like this for the first 6 months of TTC to the extent that we didn't manage a well-timed shag one single time during those cycles.

In the end I sat down with OH and explained to him that when we agreed to start TTC the one thing that I was most excited about was going on this adventure with him. I said that I didn't care in the slightest how long it took for us to conceive ? even if we decided to take a few months off, that wouldn?t bother me at all - I just wanted to be able to share the highs and the lows with him rather than having to keep everything secret lest he got freaked out. Then I said that fact of the matter is though that if he wants to be in with a chance of becoming a dad, there is limited time each month to make that happen and there's no avoiding that. I told him that I would let him know when the best shagging days are and then if he wanted to take advantage of that then I would be more than obliging!

That seems to have done the trick. It is bloody hard letting him be in the driving seat (and I know that some people wouldn?t approve of letting the man be so in control) but it?s the only way that works. After the first couple of successful cycles I think he realised that well-timed shagging is not that stressful or that much of a big deal at all ? he?s really into the swing of it now!

I know that our OH?s are different and that it may take a different tactic to get your DH on board, but I just thought it may help anyway. I know 100%, exactly how you?re feeling and it?s a really lonely place, isn?t it? You will get there though, you mark my words.

Oh Far - I'm so sorry. This is really bloody hard. Big hugs.

Can I now have permission to be super candid does it anyway

One of my very good friends (who had two children), told me under total secrecy that her DH had this type of issue. She wanted to tell me in case my DH did too. He still felt up for "hand relief".....ahemmmmm.

Therefore they used to do that in to a cup thing (you would have to use a ramekin!) and then insert it asap using one of the tubes from the pre- seed.

Their first DC is a direct result!

I don't know if this is an option but I just wanted to share in case it was useful. I just feel for you as I am finding this bloody hard and we are only on our second proper month of ttc. My emotions are all over the place and I'm pretty much in total awe of what you have done

Far I'm sorry It's very tough on you, and it doesn't sound like he appreciates that. You have to go through all these bloody tests and scans too, not him. He does sound very stressed though, does he have a stressful job? And has he had his hormone levels checked, out of interest?

DH and I had a few of the same problems as Imps last year, but DH now takes his duties very seriously, after we had a chat about how we were feeling about ttc, and the basic mechanics of conception. He was most put out that having sex didn't trigger ovulation, like with rabbits!

shiny wow you must be very good friends! In a cup, eh?! Was there involved in your conversation?

Pop CD15 ovulation, brilliant!

Scrambled - mucho ! I think I must have looked a bit green when she told me as she rushed to assure me that they hadn't used my wine glass !

shiny

I have never used an emoticon before.

[not easily-shocked emoticon]

Afternoon everyone. My early night last night did the trick, and I feel much better today. I never really have problems sleeping, and so find t very difficult to deal with when it does happen. It did make me realise that babies will be very, very hard work for me on the sleeping front. I can imagine myself just sleeping whenever the baby does, and getting nothing else done!

I'm trying to spend a bit less time on MN, and the computer generally. I usually have MN open in a tab somewhere all through the work day, as I find my job very boring and demotivating. However I'm trying hard this year to get work done (though no one has noticed me not working) and feel a bit more useful. It's soul destroying to spend 8 hours a day wasting time, and even worse that no one has noticed or cares. Sigh.

On CD7 here, so a bit early for any mentalling or news. Will start OPKs at the weekend I think, how do people do them around work? Just in the evening, or take them to work with you?

far so sorry you're having problems with your DH. I don't know what to suggest that might help. I try and talk to my DH whenever I feel like he's not really on board with ttc, though I have a new technique for doing that - I make very sure I reference everything to how I feel, and ask him how we can help me feel different. For example, if I feel alone with the ttc stress, how can he help me feel less alone? What do I think I need from him, and what does he feel might help me. It stops it being about blame and changes it to a constructive talk where he feels there's something he can do to help and 'fix' it (men love to fix things, right?), there are also no demands made of each other, but volunteering of support.

shiny fingers crossed all you need is a few more days and an agreeable pee stick! Does your friend remember confiding that in you? I'm sure her DH would be mortified to know!
Imps have a wonderful holiday!
Maybe If AF still hasn't shown you still have a chance.
Popcorn hopefully early ovulation will mean shorter cycles for you and more chances of BFPs. Of course, you'll get your BFP this cycle though.

Oh Far I am so sorry. It's so rubbish isn't it? I had a bust up with my DH this morning. I am sure he will come around though. Like Imps said, you need to find a way for him to be totally on board. You are not pathetic at all

Oh no, what's wrong Maybe? Anything we can do?

Scrambled - yes I know it could be a no-symptom symptom but it is in fact not my month and I do remember waiting to test for DS-BFP and thinking I felt just like I always do before my periods with slightly sore boobs, so in my case I think I would need the boobs to stay sore to be hopeful. There I go - desiring PMT symptoms. Daft woman.

Maybe - spill the beans milk erm story.

Still a bit confused how w4nking into a ramekin can be more fun/less pressure than the good old in-out. I have a completely compliant OH who will happily service every other day (though I wouldn't say he could manage every day with ease). But I'm afraid the BFP is still ever elusive. This may not sound helpful but it only takes a lucky shag and as we have seen here it's not always on the days you think it should be. (I will listen to my own advice too.)

FFS - you know what protracted TTC stinks for us all and we don't deserve it. The Midwife series (as expected) made me upset though I enjoyed it. Do you think - as it's based on a memoir - someone in Poplar in the late 50s did actually have 25 kids?!!!! Couldn't God have spared a few and distributed to us a few decades later?

Maybe (((hugs))) I don't think anything I can say will make you feel better It sounds like your DH needs to think a bit more about everything, it can't all be down to you obviously. I hope everything works out for you.

Well, I'm spotting. And it seems to be heading towards AF, I have all the signs. FGS, I only bloody ovulated yesterday. Off to have a little cry and then try to pull myself together.

Oh Maybe you poor soul. I'm so sorry you're . I think unfortunately TTC is a romance killer and you are forced to confront aspects to your partner's personality that you might not have had to if you'd just 'fallen' easily.

Someone asked me in September what would change if we weren't TTC2. (Annoyingly she had her two children and is a GP so I feel she could have been a bit more sympathetic...) But in a way I had to reflect. I would have spent a lot less money on acu and supplements and felt ok instead of desperate and heartbroken once every 28 days when AF arrived but fundamentally my life is good. I am healthier since I started this year though obviously a bit menkal. And I know what's important to me.

Is there a way to have a long talk with DH about your shared hopes for the future without too much focus on TTC and just general focus on how to 'be together'?

Would you and DH have less sex? What would you be doing instead? Is it possible to carry on having sex without contraception and be open to pg without expecting it (therefore feeling disappointed when it doesn't happen)?

I'm sure that feels utterly impossible, but I just wonder if there's a chance for all of us to turn this bitch called TTC on her head and use her rather then feel abused by her.

Other than that your DH needs a good kick in the shin and to rethink his priorities and you must be well pissed off.

Can you take a break from it all and rekindle together, or does that feel even harder than TTC?

That BFP may just be around the corner as it often is for people who decide to give up trying...

Here I made you some rocky road too. Have a big fat mocha to go with it.

(Oh and you know that moving into your new home usually means a BFP or actual birth, as in the case of a friend who's DC2 arrived the day she moved in and was breastfeeding among unopened boxes for weeks? Took her a while to conceive dc2 at 32yo. Another bionic-ironic...)

Smegs - x-post. That's shit for you. What's with effing AF? I hope you're going to be ok.

Oh maybe huge sympathies, I know what you mean about feeling like its a one woman battle. You poor thing. Why is he worried about money d'ya think?

bean I know what you mean, I can;t believe he would rather wank than bonk me but there you go. We have tried the old ramekin job but he freezes up at that as well and just can't perform. Although he did then admit last night that he had a wank 'to get to sleep'. Gah Sorry that is way too much info.
The only times we have had smooth SWI is when he initiates it or we are on holiday or it falls over the weekend. Gah!! I really wish he desired me a bit more as the rejection smarts a bit I must admit, does not help the self-esteem when you are already feeling a bit meh about your body and its ability to do WHAT IT IS BLOODY WELL MEANT TO.

smegs he does have a stressful job, its not that bad at the moment though. When you say hormones d'ya think he could have a hormone inbalance? His sex drive is generally lower than it used to be but I just put that down to age.

imps I remember your troubles with DH and its great he is now on board and getting stuck inm, ha ha

stasi thanks you are so sensible and so right. I do my OPKs in the evening or in the morning.

I agree this LT TTC rubbish is so full of emotion and pressure, it would be so simple if it happened straight away.

I have gone to have my foof waxed in the vain hope I can tempt my DH into action tonight

Sorry cross post there, smegs how strange,. spotting just after ovulation? Could it be you are ovulating today, that can happen as well?

bean this really resonated with me:
'forced to confront aspects to your partner's personality that you might not have had to if you'd just 'fallen' easily. '

Problem is I am really not liking what I see..............

Yes - I get it Far. He sounds like a tricky customer right now and you must feel very hurt. But perhaps he doesn't realise you are hurt at all; just sees you as a source of pressure. Is there a way to rouse his sympathy (as well has his feller down below ) rather than for everyone to feel hurt and defensive?

Or just fuck it and go out with the girls lots and have a laugh. Some men need to miss their woman and realise what a effin fantastic girl she is.

at the Brazilian. As effective as Brazil nuts I'm sure.

Smegs - must be ov bleed surely? You can't have an LP of 1 day?!