Wizard are playing and the tinsel is up. Come into the BESHmas office party for some inappropriate photocopying and brief, regretful relationships!

[AriesWithBellsOn]

Evening BESHes! Don your tinsel and Christmas tree earrings and dance into my office for some rocking around the Christmas Tree. First one to snog Brett from Accounts wins a glass of warm Country Manor and some Christmas snacks. May we getting SWI over the Festive Season and announce our wins in the New Year

In you come! Festive newcomers welcome - just search for and fill in the BESHtionnaire and submit for approval.

How you feeling this morning rie?
MSB was ill last night. I have Googled diagnosed him with cyclical vomiting syndrome. He gets this about every 6 weeks - two months, usually just before we have a holiday/break from work. I may have to drag him to the GP...

I know the bubbling feeling too. I am another IBS sufferer. Mine seems to have come on after eating some dodgy squid more than a decade ago. I had horrible food poisoning and the theory is that when your body is expelling everything bad, it gets rid of the good digestive bacteria too and triggers IBS. Al alternative theory is that digestive bacteria move into the wrong part of the bowel. No one really knows. I was tested for bowel cancer and all sorts before getting an IBS diagnosis. Mine is made worse by stress and dairy. Wheat also causes bloating. Difficult to digest things like fruit and veg skins were also problematic. Mine is now almost gone - I am left with some sensitivity to dairy but am otherwise ok. It used to be horrible though. I would be in terrible pain and would have to lie flat with my trousers undone to ease it. It was miserable. It didn't help that I couldn't eat probiotic yoghurts because of the dairy issue. In the end I found a probiotic goats yoghurt which tasted absolutely vile but I could manage to digest. I think that really helped.

Euro yes I agree, my sister's theory is that I started getting my allergies after I had really bad flu one winter. She's a genial microbiologist & reckons that your immune system can seriously alter whilst fighting off some serious attack on it. It's very interesting.

very interesting but very horrible :(

Bowel Update: slight and cramping behind belly button. Nauseous gas: all expelled for now.

Massive sympathies to the IBS sufferers and potential IBS sufferers. It's lucky you're all so goddamned hot, or I might almost be put off going into the stationery cupboard with any of you.

Great. I already feel repulsive. Thanks Northpole :)

Where's Euro? I want to give her a hug a slap on the bum with a Greenland halibut. Saw you on another thread about Christmas, lover :(. It's a difficult time of year for the barren and that's fo sho. "Christmas is all about children isn't it?" SIL told me the other week after explaining they were doing kids-only presents this year. Meh.

PS And there I was thinking it was all about baby Jeebus rather than shopping and spoiling children to death.

Christmas is all about children hmm yes unless you're barren then it's all about not having children
I've just tried to make tea with water from the kettle. Left it long enough but didn't plug it in at the wall. I need a holiday.
Managed a splurge at Boots replacing makeup to earn enough points to recoup my favourite perfume. Now I will look naice better than I currently do and smell delicious.

Soz, aries. If it's any consolation, I am your twin in horrific fartiness at the moment. Anyone in the stationery cupboard with me will be swooning more from lack of oxygen than from passion.

On the Christmas front, everywhere I turn this weekend I encounter sob-inducing child stuff - yesterday evening's candlelit parade of children, energetically singing O Little Town Of Bethlehem got me right in the ovaries. Even the baybee Jeeeesus in the cathedral seemed to have a bit of a taunting look.

Same here, lugger! My current hideous fartiness is in fact accompanied with regrettable constipation and is basically caused by being back with boyfriend again and therefore eating shite (eg am posting with one hand and eating fruit pastilles with the other). It's making me all fat and bloaty and grotty feeling as well. Fear me and my awesome fertility diet.

Am smiling grimly at the taunting baby Jesus in the cathedral.

baubs I'm managing one trip to the gym a week at present. Usually 3 times a weeker. Snot cos of the fire, I've been lapsed proper ever since I was ill. Weeks and weeks. Delighted my weight has plateaud not rocketed! I'm inclined just to relax for the next week or so and get back on it in the NY. MSB has agreed ha like he'd decline to start sechsing like bunnies when we move into a rented house too. Excellent
How's this for life's irony? At random bought a slush novel from a charity stand. Chose it based on the cover I know! with no regard to the story and just started reading it in the bath yes I know have clean hair and shaved legs/pits what's the book about? Ttc.....

I have 2 children's nativities to attend today. Sometimes it feels like it is a triumph of the right thing to do over wanting to stay at home and hide.

Afternoon all.

I got THE question at the office Christmas lunch on Friday. "Do you and HWHNN want children?"

From a colleague who has an adorable 18mth old daughter who came to lunch and was perfection personified. Polite ("Choccy please mummy!" and exceptionally well behaved. [sigh]

I responded with a vague, "oh eventually. It's all a bit complicated with HWHNN living on base."

I take that to be growth. 6 months ago I'd have excused myself to go and sob in the toilets.

So, Rie, you liked the Fright Night trailer? Did you watch the proper one or the one with just DT and his leather trousers?

How funny would it have been to have STUNNED her with the actual truth. And embellished it a little also. I may do this to Shocked Aunts at Christmas. "Yes, I would really really like children. We have been having sex fruitlessly for over a year now. It's either his sperm at fault, or maybe a plumbing or hormonal problem on mine. Or perhaps we just haven't hit the jackpot yet. We're not all as fertile lucky as your daughters."

I DID like it Cavey. I could actually shag Colin Farrell. I like DT and his leather trousers, but am not an Actual Convert yet. I can't get past the lack of chin, goggly eyes and too thick, glossy hair.

Well done cavey have a super Christmassey Baiileys
I get one too for going to a Christmas Carols and Readings thing with my Dad and unexpectedly his whatever she is special friend . I didn't realise she was coming until I nearly sat on her in the car

Aries over Sunday lunch at my aunties today I've had questions about when we're going to start, discussions about how late people leave it nowadays, an account of a friend of a friend's embryo freezing, comments that I "better get a move on", and an anecdote about someone who had her first baby at 42. Then my uncles's wife came to my defence saying "not everyone wants children, women have a choice these days" and then conspiratorially whispered to me later "don't worry, just relax, it will happen."

I would have politely told them all to fuck off and mind their own businesses.

How do you politely say fuck off to all your well meaning old relatives though?

faithybaby cyclic vomitting? The FDH (my much maligned other half) also possibly has this. We have been trying to get on top of it for years so would be vay vay interested to hear what your doc says. I realise you have no idea who I am BTW so will understand if youdon't want to tell me about your husband's health!

If you do want a chat PM me

Ps sorry hags would hang around for some lesbo erotiviolence but it reeks in here!

Hello hags! I am at actual work and our Christmas Do is tonight. It's Grease themed and I have decided to go for the Marty Look. (Big hair and wiggling).

see you all on the morrow.