Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

Hi kalidasa good to see you over here from the other thread my recent MC/CP was the same as yours and you are most certainly not a fraud! A shock wouldn't make a difference IMO as no one would ever have babies in that case! My mum lost her sister when preg with my sister and things continued as normal and that was a MASSIVE shock I'm so sorry to hear about your siste please don't blame yourself re: the MC. These things do just happen there appears to be no rhyme or reason to a lot of it

hi kalidasa. I think a large proportion of mcs occur because the babies had conditions that were not compatible with life. But it's natural to look back and wonder if there was something specific that caused it: DS had hand foot and mouth at the same time as my pg seemed to stop developing.....

Welcome kalidasa I'm sorry for your loss and your shock. Scone?

I'm not the expert on early MCs or charting or TTC generally but there are lots of knowledgable ladies here who know all about it.

Thinking of everyone talking to OHs tonight. We we've TTCed I'm afraid all we ever did is discuss having a baby, chuck out the contraception, then the next time we spoke about it would be when I got a BFP. So DP would have no clue if I was due AF or shagging him with intent! It's meant we haven't had to worry about feeling used in the bedroom department and there has been no monthly disappointment to share - though I do tend to only test when AF is actually late, so there haven't been many BFNs. I told him about this one a good few hours later when it had sunk in a bit.

We had a chat about the dreaded appointment (3.5 days to go - only 84 hours - not counting honest) and feel a lot better that it's not going to turn out to be either of our faults. So remove all character besmirching I may have done from your minds.

So place your bets now. Was mini-toe a boy or a girl? I'll never get the anomaly scan guessing game or new baby sweepstake so humour me and take a guess.

Hello. Can I join in here? I've had two mc - one when I was a lot younger and one just a week ago. In between, I had DS (now 17mo).

I gave up bf DS about 7 weeks ago and must have got pregnant within days. I miscarried at around 5-6wks last weekend.

Anyway, gutted to my core. It took me three years and Clomid to get DS. I thought my luck had changed.

I am keen to start again before I begin to lose my nerve and convince myself I will never have a live baby again.

How long should you wait to try again? My doctor said wait one cycle. But since having DS I haven't had a normal period, so I'm not sure what that is. Am I more likely to miscarry if DH and I start having sex again sooner?

Thank you and sorry to butt in with questions. I shall now just follow the thread without endless questioning!

Morning all! Can't stop for long and do a full catch up but will do when I get to work a bit later but for now...welcome to all the new ladies, so so sorry you're needing to join us but this is a fab thread for support, metalling together, hand holding and of course...cake! For those POASing over the weekend I hope AF is being kind to you if she has turned up and if not then I guess the metalling and POASing will continue!

Must dash and finish getting ready for work but first Back soon...

Thanks everyone. I realise it's unlikely the shock contributed, I suppose it was just an unfortunate coincidence that it came immediately before. Actually I think I had a very late implantation, in which case it almost certainly couldn't have worked out anyway.

MissCoffee I really wanted to keep it very low key with my DP and not say anything until my period was due, but that plan was a bit ruined last time because I became really unwell really fast. But it was a very stressful time too (we moved house just two weeks ago) so perhaps another time I wouldn't feel so unwell immediately. I really hope not! I do like the idea of not talking about it much at the beginning to avoid feeling pressured/excited too early etc.

RubyRoo I think the reason they suggest waiting a cycle is so that it's easier to date the pregnancy, I don't think there's a medical reason why you should and I don't think you are more likely to miscarry. If it's too early your body just won't ovulate so you won't conceive.

Welcome to the new ladies (big influx over the last few days! Great to see you all although obviously very sorry that you've had to find us at all)

Feeling exhausted to the point of breathlessness so very quickly:

rubyroo there's a lady on my last ante-natal thread who got her DC via ivf after years of 'failed' natural trying. When our DC were 9 months, we both got pregnant within weeks of each other - her totally naturally! As you can imagine she was shocked/delighted as they were just considering when they should start up the ivf again to give their dc a sib. Well, she unfortunately miscarried (I think around 7 weeks) and was doubly sad - not only a loss, but a 'miracle' loss. I tried to reassure her that in all likelihood her body had been 'kickstarted' by the pregnancy that resulted in DC and to beware as I'm sure she'd fall pregnant again soon... she is some weeks ahead of me, now (I'm 23 weeks pregnant) so I was right!

Obviously, it doesn't apply to everyone but I've seen it many times (within my family too). Your body clearly can get pregnant without any asistance and I believe you will again. Hang in there!

Good afternoon ladies. I have been lurkling for a few days reading the thread with interest and hope some of you can possibly offer me some advice.

I had a MC at 20 weeks - no HB at scan so had an induced labour and delivered baby on 11/12/11. Obviously it has been a dreadful time these past few weeks but we are getting there. I have been reading MissCoffeeNWine's posts with particular interest as I have my Consultant appt next week for bloods and post mortem results. I had to chase them and complain in order to have my initial appt which was made for April (around my EDD) changed - so much for the "6 weeks" they quote. Well done MissCoffeeNWine for chasing up your appt too, otherwise you'd still be hanging on - totally ridiculous.

I wholeheartedly apologise if I have freaked any of you out - I know a few of you are nervously ticking off the weeks of your PG and would probably prefer not to be reminded that MC can happen so late - although it is very rare - I have battled with myself as to whether I should post at all but I do need some answers.

I wonder if you ladies could shed some light on some comments you have made about results from 2nd trimester MC tests. MissCoffeeNWine I think it was you that mentioned that they test baby's genitals as there are abnormalities that can have implications for future pregnancies, would you mind elaborating ?
Also ,what do you ladies know about what is tested for and what the treatment is ? Manda you seem to be quite clued up on these tests too - would you mind sharing any advice/insight ? Obviously my biggest fear is being told that any future PG is likely to be affected by the same issue - I am hoping that this will not be the case as I have carried to term (DS 3YO), but I believe that there are conditions that you can develop ?....
For info, the sonographer said she thought she could see fluid on the baby's brain but wasn't sure and after deliverty I was told that cord was wrapped around baby's neck but it was unlikely to have been the cause of death - so there are 2 possible reasons but neither may transpire to be the actual reason.

Basically I am trying to gather as much info as possible in order to be prepared A. for what I may be told and B.to ask any relevant questions during my consultation. I really don't want to walk away then think of a whole host of things I should have asked/said at the time. Any info you knowledgable ladies have would be most appreciated.

As far as TTC goes, I am hoping to get on with it after the appt. I am currently in my WTF cycle - I chart temps and had no thermal shift this cycle, loads of EWCM for a few days then nothing. Hoping it is just a random anovulatory cycle after MC - Bonzo77 I love your attitude that your body knows best - probably true as I calmed down a lot after I realised that I had not Ov'd. Although we wanted to TTC quickly, I realised that I was scared of being PG again before we had spoken to consultant and found out why it happened - although if I'd had to wait as long as you did for appt MissCoffeeNWine I would definitely have done as you did and just get on with it.

And a quick 'hello' to Marbles a buddy of mine from other threads !

Welcome roobyrooUK and gomurray I am sorry you both need to join us here.

gomurray I lost mini-toe to PPROM (premature prelabour rupture of membranes) - my waters broke far, far too early. It's 15 weeks ago now. I would have been 32 weeks pregnant today. Don't worry about being here, we're all pragmatic and know the risks pregnancy brings, yes miscarriage is more common in the first trimester, but we all know it happens after that too, and we all have our risk assessments and personal goals to get to. It's very supportive here.

There is generally a fair difference in the possible causes of second tri MC as opposed to first tri MC and often more hope in that conditions can sometimes be identified and sometimes treated.

From what I know, the most likely causes of second tri MC are incompetent cervix (not the cause of mine or yours by the sound of it) chromosomal abnormalities, conditions incompatible with life (with or without termination for medical reasons) infections or structural abnormalities of placenta, mother or baby.

Sex is determined at post mortem as they study the chromosomal pairs to find any abnormality, and of course sex is one of those pairs. Some chromosomal or genetic conditions cause second tri MC but there are so many and they are so specialised it's more a matter of waiting and seeing and researching as it comes up rather than anything else I think. Infections include simple ones like a urine infection or bacterical vaginosis but range to listeria, toxoplasmosis, rubella and STIs like chylamydia/ gonorrhea/ syphilis/ herpes. Underlying conditions like diabetes/PCOS make miscarriage more likely, but I'm not sure on the whys and wherefores of this as I don't have the conditions. Then you've got things like bicornuate or septate uterus, poor placental blood vessel development or clots (?thrombophilia, thyroid), placental abruption, and so on.

And then lots we just don't know. Which I have a feeling will be the verdict for mini-toe. One of those things. Coffee bean (my 14 week) didn't go for PM as I MCed at home so maybe they're related, likely they're not. We can't know if coffee bean was a MMC like yours either, so the exact gestation will always be queried.

I will be making a proper paper list for the appointment on Thursday. I'll share it when it's done if you like, and tell you what happened and what they said so maybe you'll feel a little more prepared.

On the positive side, all my metalling has been so focused on mini-toe for the past few weeks I've barely noticed time ticking on through pregnancy number four, which I've known about for three weeks but had barely a freak out or mosh pit visit for! Poor neglected child hasn't even got a MN nickname.

Although I did have a funny thought in the back of my head the other day, one I've never had before. Thinking about asking for an early scan and I thought 'to see how many are in there' - what's that about then?

hi everyone. i am back!! australia was really good but i came back with really bad jet lag :(.

i haven't had chance to look back through the posts since christmas but i will catch up.

i was hoping for a bfp this cycle but it didn't happen - i suppose i can't expect it to work first time. i have ordered some clearblue digi opks so will be looking out for that smiley face this cycle! i should get it towards the end of next week as i appear to ov around cd20. my luteal phase isn't very long according to my charting but i don't know what it was like before mc's as i never bothered to check these things. i think i have always ov'd late so it might not be a problem as i have been pg twice now.

i will get reading back now to see whats been going on

welcome to the newbies - sorry you are here but glad you have found a good place to help you.

Thanks MissCoffeeNWine - It would definitely be really useful to hear how you get on at your appt in terms of what happens and what questions to ask. i have read a lot of what you mentioned on various websites about late MC. you are right that it is best to wait and see what they say instead of trying to second guess what will be said and researching in advance. i just like to be really prepared so that i am not shocked/confused/caught offguard by what i am told. It is really good to hear that you are managing to get through the initial weeks without too much stress - although like me you will probably take limited comfort from early scans as it is the middle part that will concern you more - certainly i anticipate being a wreck at that stage if i am lucky enough to fall pg again. at the prospect of more than one baby - do you have any specific reason for this thought ?!

Welcome back pebs! Are you all tanned and lush? You'll have to tell us all about the swi the scenery. Sorry about the BFN but fingers crossed for next month.

gomurray nope, no reason at all, not a thought I've ever had before and this is my fourth pregnancy! I'm entirely sure it's not the case but the thought did freak me out for a minute! I'm pretty rich with pregnancy symptoms though, I'm an attractive mess of nausea, hip pain, tiredness, headaches, bloated tummy, spots and a constant need to wee!

I will be asking for an early scan though you're right the reassurance isn't there - main reason I want one is to try and avoid finding a MMC later on as much as I can (I know that's not possible really but you see what I mean). Ideally I'd like to have one at around 9 weeks, one at 13-14, one at 16-17 and one at 20ish, if we get that far on. So I'll be asking for two extra this time.

Do you know at what gestation your MMC occurred? I heard mini-toe HB two days prior to induction, and if I hadn't gone in with fluid it seems likely we'd have found the MC at the 20 week scan which was scheduled for a couple of weeks later.

evening ladies
murray good to see you here {{{hugs}}}
hi everyone else
crappy day in work today i have been having what feels very much like Ov pains all day so i am going to give it the beans(as DH says) this cycle and see what happens so im going to definitely start testing on the second week of feb and this month it WILL be a BFP and it WILL be a super-sticky one!! (PMA all the way) i am 100% sure that there will be some BFPs soon

ooooo mint thorntons, nice! all the best Marbles, here's hoping for a BFP and an extra super sticky one for you .

Still couple of days before AF due but POAS again and got a stronger BFP. As long as AF doesn't visit, I'll be praying for a extra super sticky one too

Hello, may i join you please?
I had a missed m/c last week at 20 weeks.
I can't consider ttc again for some time- i lost a lot of blood and had to have emergency surgery after the delivery to stop it, so i have to concentrate on getting well first.......but i think signing on here is a sort of sign to me to have hope for the future, if that makes sense.

Hi boris of course you may. So sorry for your loss, hope you are having a chance to rest. I'm sorry this is such a short post (at work!) but I will be back later and hopefully someone will bring some cake in the meantime...

I have a glucose tolerance test on Thursday - just keeping everything crossed that it is all fine and I don?t have to add that to my long list of health problems. As for the ladies who provided advise on the situation with my friend ? I have had a few more messages from her since and so I am hoping that things continue to improve like this. I am now 32 weeks (can?t believe I?ve made it) and even though my health seems to be going down hill the baby seems to be going from strength to strength so please try to stay positive all of you recently updiffed post MC!!!

Ladies, so much has happened since my last post I really don?t even know where to start so I?m going for a block catch up!!!

Welcome to all the new ladies I?m sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here but this place has been a god send for me and I wouldn?t be able to cope without these ladies ? I?m hoping that you find being here as useful as I have.

To the ladies who were joint POASing I?m very sorry that you were all out this month but thinking back on the history of this thread we have had months like this and then the next month we get a couple of BFPs so im hoping for some good luck and sticky beans next month!!!

Anyone in the dreaded 2ww yet??? Cant seem to keep up with it all ? I?m looking forward to maternity leave when I can just chill out and stay glued to everyone?s news.

One really interesting thing happened last night ? I went to my bumps swimming class and at the end of the session one of the ladies? waters broke??.she had been complaining that another lady from the class had missed that days session because she was in labour. And I kept saying to her ? ?maybe tonight is your night? and then bam ? broken waters and off she went home to go and get herself sorted??.so exciting!!!!

Right not really sure what else to say so big wave to everyone and hope you are doing well. Hug and kisses from casa iq!!!!

Oh and here is some carrot cake, chocolate fudge cake and Victoria sponge suppose I?d better get back to work not that I have anything useful to do not that I?m really needed!!!!

xxxxx

WhyAlwaysBoris so sorry to hear of your loss - it is so difficult isn't it. I had my 20 week loss 6 weeks ago and it time is a great healer but the sadness is still there. I can't imagine how scary it must have been for you to lose lots of blood during the delivery, just delivering the baby was bad enough and it went smoothly for me.

MissCoffeeNWine my baby measured 16 weeks but I had heard HB at 16+1 at 16 week check - they think baby died at around 17 weeks as apparently it can contract a bit if it died a while prior to measurement. How are you feeling about Thursday's appt ?

InsomniaQueen congrats on making it to 32 weeks - the end is in sight for you . It is lovely to read of so many of you who have had MC but are now PG again and doing well

Welcome whyalwaysboris I'm sorry to hear about your MMC and bad experience. You're welcome here whenever you're ready to talk. There are a few of us with similar experiences.

Hey IQ good to hear from you when are you starting mat leave?

gomurray sounds very similar to mine, we heard the heartbeat at the 16 week appointment as well. I heard HB 12 hours after waters had gone but baby was born 36 hours later. So I do know pretty much when. I didn't know it was my waters then of course. You just don't expect that then do you. But that's why I went in, otherwise I'd have found out at scan I have no doubt as my cervix was closed and snug.

I am on absolute tenterhooks for the appointment, I'm totally, totally bricking it. Really freaking out and counting down in hours. Unable to sleep each night. Can't get much work done (was working on my tax return though and hurray just found out I don't need to submit until April - I was being properly nagged, the first thing I heard this morning was tax return due advert on my classic FM alarm clock!)

Number one fear is finding out it's something that will affect this baby too. But mainly it's going back to the hospital and not knowing who I'm going to see or what's going to be said. I keep on and on with scenario after scenario in my head, playing each one of them out.

I'm going to break for lunch and make my list of questions, I think, on real pen and paper, get some of it out.

Hi everyone kalidasa my 2nd early mc was very light and didn't last long at all, I was surprised at how quick and pain free it was

ruby after mc2 I was told I could start ttc straight away, I was pg with ds, who is now 10 months about 6 weeks later

gomurray I mc at 20 weeks at the end of sept, I was told 6 weeks but still haven't received an appointment, even spoke to the consultants secretary last week but still nothing, although we didn't have a pm as we know it was due to ic, hope appointment goes well

mad a couple of days off af too, fingers crossed

boris I was the same, I've been hanging around from about a week following my mc at 20 weeks, started ttc around 16 weeks after

insomnia not long now!

Sorry to anyone I've missed, hope all is ok x

oh gosh so much to catch up on; i want to welcome all the newbies, sorry for your reasons for being here but we are a lovely bunch! FX for you all.

Sorry for the quick post as am at work, i will try and catch up but i have about 2 pages to catch up on!

IQ i am on the 2WW - due to test on Sunday (my birfday!) and have a pack of 15 IC's!!

Hi everyone, so first month ttc after mc and now I'm on the tww...must provide myself with more distractions!

I see some of you talking about buying pg tests from ebay, any recommendations for sellers/brands? Might get myself a stock in...

Also thinking of Jaffa - are you okay Jaffa?

I have no pg tests left, I bought a pack of 10 last May when we decided to TTC and I've used them all - last one was for this BFP. I'm kind of hoping not to have to buy any more (maybe ever).

mseltoe it's me, sorry misscoffee! I am in my own little countdown hell at the moment, waiting for blood test results, which will be ready this afternoon apparently. Good news is that I am still pregnant. Bad news is that I have a much higher risk of miscarriage. There are studies that link low hcg in early days to miscarriage. But a lot will depend on whether it has increased properly. I have been keeping my head down for a while, just cannot cope with thinking about it all, and this thread sometimes make it seem real.

My DD is much better now, so that is something good. Just been swimming with her, trying to pass the time on a cold wet day.

When is your consultant appointment? X

Oh, and hello to all the new ladies! X