Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

martha I want to do this to my friend but as we only stay in contact via FB now as she moved away I would prob lose touch with her quite quickly. She is the type who decides she wants a baby and BAM! She is preg she had finished at 3 DCs and had the implant fitted and found out that she is preg despite this and all is smooth sailing she had a MMC a few years ago and it doesn't even register as a worry for her (I know as I asked how she felt etc) I am very very and can't bring myself to be happy for her- though would NEVER tell her I feel how I do...its awful...just awful

Disclaimer: post not meant to end up as heavy as it did... I need ...

marbles i am on your behalf. Rant away dear, i would be mightily pissed off by her too!

For the record i had far too much last night and feeling a bit green

Martha get some Marmite down you! Its fab for hangovers, honest!
Blimey, that makes me realise that it's been soooo long since I have been hungover, it's great! Unfortunately, I suspect I will make up for it at some point.

Can I have a moan too please? I am currently having at least two diabetic related appointments a week as the hormones are making everything go massively tits up, blood sugar control wise. After being SO in control and on top of things all my life, this is a massive shock to the system. It's also, as much as I try and deal with it contructively, playing on my mind with regards to the baby and any possible problems. I am trying to keep things in some sort of perspective and think that a) I am exceptionally well controlled normally and have continued to be until the last 4 weeks or so and b) there must surely be far more worse controlled diabetics than me who have a healthy baby at the end of all this (in fact, I have been told I am unusually well controlled which surely must mean something?) but I can't switch off all the same.
At the moment I feel like I am 'ill' which is most grumble inducing. I am also knackered as I am setting the alarm for twice every night to wake up and test - I have been so tight with my control throughout the pregnancy (which is good) that this has had the unfortunate side effect of me now not knowing when I have very low blood sugar so I have to wake up and test to see. If I go low without testing I could simply lose consciousness so this is very important.
Thankfully, it's high rather than low blood sugar that effects the baby (hence why I am so keen to keep it down rather than simply eating a bit more so it's a bit higher) and I would rather it was that way round but it's still bloody stressful all the same!

Sorry for the boring rant ladies. It feels good to off-load!

I think the facebook thing would annoy me too, rightly or wrongly. I guess the thing about walking in our shoes is that, even when you have health problems or just feel crap during pregnancy, at least if you are pregnant it makes you feel grateful for it all the same.
I remember doing precisely that in the first 10ish weeks, wishing I felt more sickly / boobs hurt more / more exhausted etc etc. It would have least made me feel as if something was happening!

Not sure how I forgot to mention, but I went for 'dinner and a show' last night - it's been booked since christmas!

Saw Wicked for the second time (DF was a Wicked virgin though) and I've always loved 'For Good' but I nearly blubbed last night. Something about the words struck a chord with me, almost like I wish I could say it to Teddy. The part/s that had me welling up:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made from what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart

And now I need to stop being so teary cos Df will be back in a minute with my Pret italian chicken salad! (Craving, me? I've never had one... )

newton ah yes the old 'why aren't you married' schtick. Give me one good reason, ILs, please. Just one, that doesn't involve 'being properly part of the family' (I'm guessing producing their grandchildren and loving their son for the last 10 years doesn't count?) 'so we can have a party' (have one, knock yourselves out) or 'to make the children legitimate' (look pretty legitimate to me. Yep, definitely a child. Definitely came from our loins). Or 'because otherwise Mr Coffee will never get a wedding day' (boo hoo). I have two SILs, both married, one to her second husband, both husbands are treated as significantly more important in the family than I am ... despite the fact neither of them have been around as long as me, and we produced the first grandchild.

I get it, a whole other thread. Sorry.

jaffa I'm so sorry you're having issues. But your results are still in the normal range. Someone needs to be at the lower end of normal just like someone needs to be at the higher end. I have everything crossed it's normal for you - stick mini-jaffa, stick. Thinking of you xx

marbles I could be that person on this thread. It's only taken me two months TTC each time for this one and mini-toe. One month for DD. TTCed 18 months for coffee bean though, I guess it evens out. I do know how annoying people are. When I was pregnant with mini-toe I had a friend tell me she was hiding me on FB as she'd just had a MC at 8 weeks and she couldn't deal with seeing my updates. I was fine with her of course but really, I'm not the type of person to do FB pregnancy updates, am I. I only began to mention it at 14 weeks. I wonder if she's unhidden me now I'm miserable again. I have several other friends either going on and on abdout pregnancy niggles OR spouting forth about it being so magical and such a wonderful time and 'enjoy your scan!' 'can't wait to see my bean!' and I'm like; what makes you think you will?

martha sorry about the hangover. I'm not a bit jealous.

baby that all sounds awful, especially such a bolt from the blue. Sounds like you're coping very well though and being taken care of. Don't overdo it, now.

Welcome back misslaughalot! Glad to see you back in the mosh pit.

manda - lovely song. Dinner and a show sounds goooood. I have no idea what Wicked is though.

Six weeks today and still drumming up the courage to ring the MW who likes to see you between 6-8 weeks

And I just got a letter through from my doctors saying they'd heard from the hospital that I hadn't attended for my ultrasound scan.

That would be my 20 week scan then. You'd think when you've left your baby in that hospital for post mortem they'd figure out to cancel it wouldn't you?

Regardless it just gave me the kick in the pants I needed to ring up and now I have an appointment booked with the MW in two weeks. Combine that with the consultant next week and hopefully soon there will be a plan.

A plan is good, right?

A plan is definitely good, miss... even if the plan veers off course or gets changed completely it's still better than floundering about in the unknown.

jaffa My fingers are tightly crossed for you. I wish I had guarantees but, alas, no. All I can say, I know is that there are a huge number of women who will have 'low' numbers and everything be fine - it's them, along with all the women with high numbers that makes for the average line.

miss a plan is most definitely good i had one of those calls about my 20week scan when i MC at 14 weeks in 2002 i had a check up scan to confirm there were no retained products in the same clinic and the info was on my notes etc and the reception woman still called me and told me off for not informing them of my MC i was a rather hot headed 20 year old then and yelled at her on the phone for being so insensitive.(i know it wasnt her fault etc but it would have been so easy to read the notes on her screen ) it had been just over 6 weeks since the MC and i cried for about 4 hours after the call it makes me rather that this type of thing still happens!

i did my final POAS for this pregnancy and it was a clear BFN ahh well another CP in the bag...i feel i am being greedy with them. Surely i shouldnt get to hog all the CPs...I would much rather just have the plain old BFN if im not getting a baby out of it...

ok so enough of the self indulgent post...

i have here a big box of thorntons truffles and a cafetierre of hazlenut latte enjoy ladies

BFP
MissCoffeeNWine - One coffee bean (14w), one mini-toe (17w) one DD5, and carefully incubating a few cells for metalling purposes.
PieMistress - 16w with DC#2, m/c at 7 weeks in May, DS aged 2
Poppyjen - 7 (ish) weeks with DC#2, m/c at 6-7 weeks in May, DS aged 22 months
Babysaurus - 18 weeks with DC#1, mmc at 12 week scan in July, but foetus stopped growing at 5/6 weeks.
InsomniaQueen ? 31 weeks with DC #1, mc at 6 weeks in June??.currently panicking about getting this bowling ball out of my fanjo.

TTC
Maja80 (hope people will stop thinking I'm 15!!) - 31 yo - No DC, mc at 12 weeks (even though baba only measured 6 weeks) on 01/12/11 Currently TTCing and trying to keep sanity
bonzo 34 yo. DS aged 22 months. mmc @ 12wks 19/12/11 measured 6wks. TTC DC2
Newtonupontheheath 27yo, DS 15mo, TTC DC2 following mmc 21/11/11 @ 11 weeks (baby 8 weeks) due to POAS 22/01/12
leedy 39yo, DS aged 23 months. mmc @ 12 weeks 5/11/12 measured 8wks. Just starting to TTC again.
MarthasHarbour: 39yo; one adorable DS age 2, MC at 10 weeks 16/03/11 measuring 8 weeks, one CP on 01/08/11 at 4+3 another CP on 02/01/12 at 3+6...currently shagging like rabbits
Farfallarocks: 31yo. TTC#1, MC at 5 weeks on 27/06/2011, chemical pregnancy in September. TTC again (sighs)
Kellbells - 33yo - TTC#1, MMC (ERPC) 8+5 - 24/11/11. CP? 4+3 25/12/11. TTC again as often as possible!!!
NoMoreMarbles - 29yo- 1 DD (6) - 1MC at 14 weeks 22/10/02, 1MC at 9 weeks 6/7/10, 6 CP/MCs since oct 07 when started TTC#2, Most recent CP jan 2012.

updated the stats so i am firmly in the TTC area again

so (TMI!) i am going to pounce on DH and TTC like bunnies this cycle and see if we can get a 2012 baby or al least a 2012 pregnancy...we will see...im thinking of trying fertility acupuncture...anyone tried it?

martha & marbles Feel your pain re: people with bumps & babies on FB. I've had to hide the newsfeed of a few people because it was too painful. No offence, I just can't deal with it right now.
However, martha, I'm jealous of your friend having had a MMC and 'not registering as a worry*. I wish I could get my 'pregnancy innocence' back and get all excited and shit when/if I get pregnant again. I wish I could leave the previous mc behind and enjoy pregnancy to the full. However, I know I'll be bricking it for 9 months.

Welcome misslaughalot & sorry to hear about the diabetes related issues baby. jaffa holding your hand sending all sort of positive vibes your way.

Waves to everyone else! It's Friday, people! :)

(Also got a phone call from the hospital asking if I was running late for my 17 weeks appointment or whatever. Gaaah. The poor lady was mortified when I told her I mc in December, but still. I made me feel like stabbing myself in the eye for the rest of the morning.

I'm supposed to POAS this week end ...Hellonewton & kels - my work trip has been cancelled, so I'm up for it on Sunday if you are (AF is due tomorrow for me)

I've had some pinkish discharge today though so I think I'm out. Normally when my AF starts, it starts in full swing already, so this week long AF symptoms (spots, cramps) and pink discharge with not actual blood is a total mindfuck. I know I am not pregnant, stupid body, just stop teasing me and get a proper AF! Grrr, rage, need some

Rant over.

maja and misscoffee I've had the mw (they had a changeover in our area) post a right stroppy letter through my door ( dp was home, they didn't knock) between Christmas and new year about a missed appointment. Dp had rang after mc to let them know AND me had contacted me asking if I knew why there was a post it note on her desk with my name on it... I was and then some more. Bloody idiots.

maja so sorry AF is taunting you in this way. I have been thinking I've had symptoms but today I've had knots in my stomach all day as I'm certain it's all in my head. If its going to arrive, I hope it come tomorrow morning and then I'll be feeling more normal by the time I have to function for work on Monday. Worst case, it'll arrive at work on Monday. And the crazy part of me is still thinking I am pregnant already (crazy,mental grin )

I've spent all evening working, just come up for a shower and relax in bed and dp is watching some programme about gypsy fighting from last night. I've seen a dog kill a deer, bare knuckle fighting and a little boy being sick. I just want an early night!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes and I'm up for Sunday maja although DS will be up around 6 so I'll have to do it then (fmu and all that) Good luck! And kel as well!

I hear you newton. Much better AF arriving today (if she absolutely has to, the cow) than having the rage attack at work on Monday. At least I would be able to curl up in the sofa eating cheese, drinking wine and watching Rihanna videos through the disappointment. I'm kind of resigned ... but not enough to avoid some metalling. (oooohhh...maybe it's implantation bleeding, bladi bladi da..)

On a different note, a very thoughtful workmate took me out for lunch yesterday. She has brilliant when I mc, always checking on me, organising work to send me flowers etc. While having lunch she asked how was coping and I did all the 'oh,you know, fucked off..' noises.When the conversation went into her own plans to have a family, she told me she can't have children anytime soon. Apparently she had a mmc a few years ago (shes' 27) and was told that she'll have to go through a long process in order to conceive but for some reason (didn't go into detail), her body is not ready for it yet. Thinking what an absolute star she's been to me while she was going through all shit herself nearly made me cry. There are some amazing people out there.

That is lovely. I hope your friend gets her babies when the time comes. I'm 27 and people keep telling me time is on my side/there's no rush and even though I know it's true,it doesn't stop that need that women older than 27 have! You're very lucky to have such an understanding friend

The friend of mine that stepped up after my mc took almost 12months to conceive her first,who was born in July. She was an absolute star,and I felt a little guilty that both times I'd conceived so quickly...I know she wants another and I hope I can support her as well as she helped me if her dc2 takes a while to conceive.

Gah newton, hope you don't think I meant 'Ah, she's a spring chicken, nothing to worry about, she'll be fine'. Being younger doesn't take the pain away.

I actually mentioned her age because she's younger than me by 4 years and has already gone through a lot (aside from baby problems) but still finds the strength to reach out to others in times of distress. To be honest, I am not sure I was that sensitive or mature at 27. I was mostly clubbing :)

Eeek. Clubbing? I'm 27 and gave that up a good 7 years ago. But then I met MrCoffee when I was 16, moved in with him at 18, bought a house at 20, lost my first at 21, and had DD at 22 so I don't think I'm representative of the general population.

Today's terribly exciting activities are to go to the gym, take DD swimming and into town to buy a 'book about bones and how bodies work' with her Christmas money, and then visit my elderly grandmother.

Stopping off somewhere to replenish my decaff coffee supplies.

Rock'n'roll.

On the plus side DD let me lie in until 10.30am, pottering around with her own games.

What's everyone else up to today?

Oh and yesterday when we were in the car DD said 'Mummy are you having another baby?'

We both kind of froze and I said 'not yet'

Sorry to serial post but I keep getting interrupted...

Then she told me I had a little boy in my tummy and she could hear him shouting that his name was Robin

Wow that's weird missC kids can be very perceptive can't they! My DD told me she wanted a baby in my belly the day before I got my recent BFP kids eh?!

hi all, just wondering if anyone knows what the latest advice is with regard ti using low dose (75mg) of aspirin during pregnancy? had 2 MCs and desperate to avoid another but I'm aware there's been some conflicting advice in the news recently. Can anyone help? Thanks.

Hi all
Not totally sure I'm ready to be here yet, as I only mc'd last week. But dp and I want to try again pretty much straight away, so I thought I'd introduce myself.

I've got a dd 2.3yrs and have been trying for dc2 for 12 months. I had irregular, very short cycles after dd so was thrilled to get my bfp in Dec. But sadly mc'd on Tuesday at 10wks. It's all seems a bit surreal at the moment.

I had a bit of an embarrassing cry in the park earlier, when I bumped in to a dad from our antenatal group who announced they are expecting #2. It means I'll now be the last of our group to have a second child. No idea why that's upset me so much. My dp is being amazing though, couldn't have got through this week without him.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on.

I'm sorry thelittlefriend but welcome. I've been here since the week after my last MC in October, and we too decided to TTC again straight away, I'm now 6 weeks in to pregnancy number 4.

I understand about being the last to have another - out of our AN group of eight I'm the only one still with a singleton, DD is 5 so I guess that's not too surprising.

This is a good thread to be on, very gentle to everyone at all different stages, and lots of excuses for cake.

madaboutmadmen I'm sorry I don't know, but there are some knowledgeable ladies here who seem to be off having a real life tonight! I'm sure they'll get back to you.

hi madabout i would say it is not advisable to take the asprin without medical say so as there could be unknown side affects etc...that said...it is a recommended treatment for recurrent MC and can be a help. it is so frustrating to have to go through mcs and have no way of knowing what is causing it until you have had 3 or more im so sorry you have had to go through 2 MCs have you had a BFP? stick around here i have been here a week or so and its lovely in here