Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

And to round off a weird day how about a quote from my DD: Oh Mummy, look at your tummy! It's sticking out! I reckon Daddy has put some of his sperms in you again!'

Can only tell you lot as noone else knows!

DD is rather preg-tastic at the moment what with mini-toe, her friend's Mum is pregnant and so is the teaching assistant at her school.

I made non-commital noises

misscoffee that quote is fantastic...

Ah no, let's round off the day with a phone call from SIL to say she's 12 weeks with her first. She was totally hyper.

It's like being punched in the guts actually.

Oh misscoffee it really has been one of those days with such ups and downs! Does SIL know about your history? If so then sounds as though she was being v inconsiderate especially as she has no idea of recent developments but must know that you are still working through what happened with the MC. Had she had her scan today? That may explain some of her hyper-ness as without the experience of MC it can be a very innocent process iyswim.

I'm feeling slightly sick as have eaten waay too much cake today...just as I finished this piece I realised how much I've had...really do need to be taking more notice of my diet and stick to virtual cake on MN!

blue have you ever thought of going into hospitality as a full time job? you really are a true proficient

yep a mixed day for us all, mscoffee i know that kicked in the gut feeling, i have had a few of these recently. i agree that SIL was a tad insensitive if she knows your history.

i cant be arsed to SWI tonight..... i have build DH up into a frenzy but just. cant. be. arsed. but i want a baaaaby! anyone got any magic beans?

(or some of mr mscoffee's legendary 'sperms' ) hilarious!

Enjoy the tipple marthas I do remember well the CBA feeling about SWI but also the need to do it on that specific day since my body was saying that was the day...it really is quite draining when you feel you have to do it at a certain time rather than being able to enjoy it when you feel like it but I then remember kicking myself when it came to poasing that I hadn't done it iyswim so GO FOR IT...

Hands off MrCoffee's sperms!

SIL decided to tell us (DD included) on loudspeaker, so it was a bit Then turns out MrCoffee (I like his new name) knew already and didn't tell me so My friend also came out to being 8 weeks last week and told her DD and mine. I'm happy for them really I am I just wish I could equate pregnancy with having a baby - and that's what SIL said - 'I'm having a baby'. And I get very

I just get cross that they can announce a pregnancy to MY DD who is still mourning her sibling and I CAN'T do the same.

Yuk sorry. Though we have all had pancakes for dinner in honour of marbles, though we had lemon and sugar, maple syrup and bacon (MrCoffee had chutney but then he's obviously stark raving mad)

Sorry for the odd sentence at the end of the second paragraph. You can see where I was going.

Back to googling second trimester losses and prognosis for future pregnancies

hi ladies

sorry for my pity party earlier i have only been here a mere 3 days and already im leaning heavily

mrscoffee sorry about your SILs news- i have been there with many many friends over the last 4 years and it sucks major bum-hole i too cant imagine being able to tell anyone "im having a baby" as i only seem to be able to get the BFP out of the way and im already back on the next lot of SWI/TTC horse...as it were

the spotting is heavier but weirdly it is like water but red/brown...i have NEVER had spotting like this and the baps are very achey and heavy... maybe all is not lost...or maybe it is and im madly clutching at straws

and 's all around me thinks

Oh coffee its so chuffing hard isn't it? Does she know your history? I must admit I think she handled the communication insenstively but I can understand her excitement, she probably is just not thinking about how upsetting those sorts of messages are for those that are struggling for whatever reason and lets hope she never does :(

martha I know what you mean although the situation is totally reversed in our household. DH not playing ball this month and this is not the first time its happened. Tried to initiaate SWI last night and he said later. Then later he said, I am not in the mood, its all too stressful having to 'perform like a monkey'.

So I was really upset. He slept in the spare room. We tried to make up this morning but on the way to the tube he said he is finding it all way too stressful and trying is doing his head in and he feels under pressure and like he can't perform. I just get so distressed about it as I think supposing this was the magic bean that would stick and we missed the chance? Tonight is realistically the last night we can catch the egg and I don;t know how to play it. I feel like screaming in frustration or even just doing something really stupid like going out and getting laid by anyone (not really). He even dais this morning he thought we should not try anymore which he then retracted but still. I don;t want to push him away but I so very desperately want a baby and a family :(

Sorry for the self indulgent post. marbles that does sounds really promising, have you tested again?

Fallfarrocks you poor sod. I can see where both you and your DH are coming from and it's so bloody hard from both sides. Its also easier said than done to say leave off for a few months, I know, as it is always playing on your mind whatever you get up to.

Marbles that does sound unusual (am hesitant to use the word 'promising') - I have everything crossed!

Well we didnt SWI last night and i am now with myself, but i am a bit about it all, as i said i really want this but then when it comes to the 'right time' i feel like it isnt what it should be IYSWIM. I can see where MrFar is coming from BUT i can also see how bloody frustrated MrsFar is. FWIW DH was knackered last night so it wasnt too much of an issue. Anyway we SWI i think at the right times twice this month so FX

MsCoffee I know exactly what you mean, whenever anyone now says to me 'we are having a baby' i have to fight the urge to say 'well you dont quite know for sure yet now do you?' which is a bit of me to think, but i cant help it. If onlly people were just a little bit cautious.

Disclaimer: When i got PG with DS i announced it at 4+4 i didnt have a fecking clue did I? I then posted my scan pic on my FB wall and let DH put it as his profile pic!!! Still at least DS stuck but i have learned my lesson now!

Our good friends who are PG are plastering FB with it, we are both friends with both of them so there is no escape. The DH has the scan pic as his profile pic and the DW manages to put in every single fucking wall post and comments to people 'I'm Pregnant'. You wouldnt believe that they had a MMC at 14 weeks 5 years ago would you? They have a 3yo now who is adorable but they were the same when she was carrying him!

Anyway - me and DH are looking into a summer holiday in May. I figure that even if i do get PG this month i will only be 4 months gone (then DH started worrying about another MC bless him!)

Sorry ladies will catch up with you all but at the moment I'm feeling miserable and need your good advise - it actually plays on a theme here so hopefully you can help me.

At the moment the pain in my hips/pelvis is making it hard to cope and although I have all you wonderful ladies I feel like I don't have anyone in RL anymore to discuss things with. My best mate and I were TTC buddies and we've held each others hands through my MC and her fertility testing. When i told her i was pg again and pretty much up xmas she has been supportive and i felt that i could tell her anything that was going on with me, life and the baby (within reason). She said "if it was anyone else i would feel really sad but because its you and i know what youve been through i couldnt be happier". But it seems that things have changed. For the last few weeks she has been really distant, not replying to my messages and avoiding group get togethers. She's found out she has to have ivf as there isn't any other option for her and her DH. I totally understand if she's changed her mind and she can't quite be happy for me. But I don't really know whether to try to talk to her about it. Would she think I was pitying her??? Would she still want to be godmother to my little one?? I just don't know what to do about it all.

any good ideas????

SWI when it's the 'right time' and it feels like a chore is horrible isn't it? Whenw e first started TTC I tried not to let on to DH that it was the egg catching days because I had no idea how long we'd have to be doing it for and didn't want it to become an issue (it took 3 months in the end, but it then went tits up...) At the time I was working stupid hours too so that made things even more tedious, but if I missed a day I'd be kicking myself a week later. Sometimes it felt like a chore too, for both of us, so you have my every sympathy ladies! x

Morning all In all seriousness I was in the shower this morning thinking, ooh...should get onto MN and set out the coffee and breakfast things but then DH got up to have breakfast with me and I am a bit zombie like in the morning at the moment so didn't get anywhere near the iPad but now at work I am able to catch up

On the SWI front marthas and far I tried to be as honest with DH as possible about when the good times were and he was very good for the most part, though did draw the line on me insisting he woke up extra early after a late shift so that we could do it since I would be in bed by the time he would get home that evening. We were then v v lucky that the 'right' time fell when we were on hols in September which resulted in beany.

IQ could you arrange to go out for coffee, or dessert or something 'light hearted' for a chat and a catch up with your friend and see if you can guage where she's actually up to? She's likely trying to process the fact that she will need to have ivf and get her head around it...though am sure is still utterly thrilled for you and your growing LO and would still want to be Godmother. A strong friendship can survive these ups and downs but it will take time to surf some of the waves if that makes sense.

marbles what cycle day are you now? Could you give your doc or EPU a call and get them to check you hcg levels so you can get some answers? It must be driving you loopy not knowing what's going on...so sorry!

Right must try and do some work though could happily drive home and snuggle back into bed and sleeeeep...

blue you made me laugh out loud at my desk with you thinking about setting the breakfast out whilst in the shower!!! dont you just love virtual RL??

IQ that is a tricky one, however as blue has already pointed out, true friendships can ride out the ups and downs. I think you just need to go with the flow at the moment, still send her messages and emails etc, prepare for the fact she may ignore you for a while. As long as you make it clear you are there for her when she is ready then she will thank you. And FX the IVF will provide a play mate for miniIQ in a little while

baby thank you for making me realise i am not losing it!! Mind you DH is pretty good and wants to know when the 'right time' is. Funnily enough he is keener around then than i am

Martha i will officially be 'late' on 29 Jan, so am planning to test either then or on the 30th. You?

Tiago my parents will be here on the morning on 29th Jan, so will not be testing then so will either do it that afternoon or on Mon 30th.

Synchronised POASers!!

Hello all....Good arvo!! I've been lurking again, reading from a distance and it's about time I posted!! >

Marbles So sorry to hear all that you're going through.... I know how you feel as the same happened to me last month... But you aren't a failure and it will happen for us soon.... Keep heart looking at all those positive experiences on here that came after the bad ones... We'll get there in the end!

Maja and Newton... It looks like I'm probably out of the running already After some spotting for a few days at CD14, I've had another few days of depressing bleeding... I thought that I'd had a CP over christmas so I think that I'm having yet another cycle of WTF... Darn it! I feel so cheated of a chance this month!!! I however, will join you on 21st Jan..... Just...in....case....

MissCoffee Awesome quote! Naughty Daddy..Naughty Sperms!

Bloomin' babies everywhere... In the last few weeks my Bro has announced their pregnancy (now 8 weeks), SIL announced to us she's 5 wks this weekend (we were staying with them and I had to hold in my tears for about 8 hours - DH didn't know what had hit him on the way home) and my boss's baby is due on my MMC due date..... It's not that I'm not pleased for them...... But this time last year noone was preggers... Why now!!??!!!

Anyhoo..... I'll add myself to the stats!

BFP
MissCoffeeNWine - One coffee bean (14w), one mini-toe (17w) one DD5, and carefully incubating a few cells for metalling purposes.
PieMistress - 16w with DC#2, m/c at 7 weeks in May, DS aged 2
Poppyjen - 7 (ish) weeks with DC#2, m/c at 6-7 weeks in May, DS aged 22 months
Babysaurus - 18 weeks with DC#1, mmc at 12 week scan in July, but foetus stopped growing at 5/6 weeks.
InsomniaQueen ? 31 weeks with DC #1, mc at 6 weeks in June??.currently panicking about getting this bowling ball out of my fanjo.

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN
NoMoreMarbles - 29yo- 1 DD (6) - 1MC at 14 weeks 22/10/02, 1MC at 9 weeks 6/7/10, 5 CP/MCs since oct 07 when started TTC#2, currently waiting to see if BFP turns into CP#6...

TTC
Maja80 (hope people will stop thinking I'm 15!!) - 31 yo - No DC, mc at 12 weeks (even though baba only measured 6 weeks) on 01/12/11 Currently TTCing and trying to keep sanity
bonzo 34 yo. DS aged 22 months. mmc @ 12wks 19/12/11 measured 6wks. TTC DC2
Newtonupontheheath 27yo, DS 15mo, TTC DC2 following mmc 21/11/11 @ 11 weeks (baby 8 weeks) due to POAS 22/01/12
leedy 39yo, DS aged 23 months. mmc @ 12 weeks 5/11/12 measured 8wks. Just starting to TTC again.
MarthasHarbour: 39yo; one adorable DS age 2, MC at 10 weeks 16/03/11 measuring 8 weeks, one CP on 01/08/11 at 4+3 another CP on 02/01/12 at 3+6...currently shagging like rabbits
Farfallarocks: 31yo. TTC#1, MC at 5 weeks on 27/06/2011, chemical pregnancy in September. TTC again (sighs)
Kellbells - 33yo - TTC#1, MMC (ERPC) 8+5 - 24/11/11. CP? 4+3 25/12/11. TTC again as often as possible!!!

kel Am lurking too Sorry to hear you are probably out of it for this month. hugs I'm still fake symptom spotting but it's likely all in my head. Did we say 21st? I thought it was 22nd? It matters not, a of it's a bfn I won't believe it til I get af. (Mental,moi?! Surely not!)

Newton Yes, we did say 22nd (and no doubt I will test on 21, 22...and 23.... and maybe a few days later if necessary but I think that I'm prob CD6 now again anyway so I'll prob be testing all the way to my next AF just in case ...... But I think Maja said she's going to be away when we originally planned....

What symptoms are you imagining experiencing so far? I've got vivid dreams, weeing lots (that'll be all the detoxing water), nausea in the mornings (probably the though of yet another healthy bowl of porridge), tiredness all the time (I'm just a lazy tart)

Well, my evening just got off to an interesting start when sat on the loo in the ensuite and suddenly realised I couldn't breathe for the smell of burning which had suddenly appeared...so tried desperately to finish what I was doing and get out of there quickly! We had a fire at the flat a few years ago which filled our ensuite and bedroom with smoke from a fire in the bin room downstairs so I hurried down there to check that all was ok...no sign or even smell of burning...we also had an incident a year or so ago where our downstairs neighbours decided it would be a good idea to burn chillies on the hob to ward off evil spirits which produced an acrid hideous smell which just makes you cough and cough...I did go and see them and they say they aren't doing it again but that's the only thing I can think of that's causing the awful smell and my coughing...so all windows open and bedroom door shut to try and get rid of the smell and prevent it spreading to the rest of the flat! meanwhile I am shattered from the stress of it all and thankfully DH managed to convince his boss to let him go early so is on his way home....really hoping the smell goes before bedtime or I'll be sleeping on the sofa! The really frustrating thing is that there's clearly something wrong with the construction of the flats as the smell shouldn't get into our ensuite and bedroom from downstairs in the way it does and they never found out how the smoke from the fire in the bin room got in there either...I had a very lucky escape on that occassion as DH had got up for an early shift and thankfully smelt a whiff of the smoke before he left for work and came to check on me as I was still in bed...I was already barely conscious at this point and wouldn't have known a thing had he not come in to check on me!! So...all fun in the crane household tonight...any smell of burning does tend to make me panic now!

Hope everyone else is having a less eventful evening...i'm going to try and sit quietly until DH gets home...

Blimey blue hope you're not on fire.

I think we just notice the pregnant people more Kellsbells - I just get very cross than people have overTAKEN me. I was supposed to have a baby in March. Now my SIL is expecting in July and my friend in August and then me in September if I ever get that far. So they'll BEAT me and not only that the dates span the school year divide. Which works out appallingly with my career break. I know it's tiny details and I shouldn't be bothered and I am grateful to be pregnant again but I still want my March baby.

IQ it's tough for her of course but also for you in a different way. I think you need to be honest, give her some space but let her know you worry for your friendship. And also try to cultivate some other friends, getting out of the house is essential with small babies and they're never more portable.....maybe begin online so you don't need to move. I don't mean to replace her, but we don't want you feeling alone.

I'm finding the communal POASing very exciting. I really want you lot to be pregnant, because you deserve it and the others don't know they're born sometimes

I am feeling a it better today but MrCoffee is insisting we go to the ILs tomorrow so that'll be a preg-fest with the occasional pitying glance at me. I'm a completely bloody anomaly to them lot - the four other women of the family have had six pregnancies and six healthy babies between them, and all straightforward deliveries in hospitals. I'm even weird because I have babies at home. Personally I think they're the bloody anomalies.

Mind you my family isn't that much better, four pregnancies, four babies, and then me.

Ah well. MrCoffee brought me Kaliber non alcoholic beer which is yak but I can pretend, and he's cooking something with lots of garlic in.

I got as far as looking up the phone number for the doctors surgery today. Hurray. Nearly six weeks now....supposedly. If there's anything in there.

kel Thus far, I've gone off tea big time...and I've moved on to squash to quench an imaginary thirst. Not too many more wees, but as DS usually wants to come with me, I'm getting good at just waiting! Im all snuffle-y,which ive spotted with my previous two pregnancies. That could just be coincidence though. My boobs are sore, I'm still bf-ing DS and its starting to hurt, but they're achy even now. I've had a little nausea but that's more my nervous/anxiousness about the whole poas/pregnancy thing. I'm eating like a pig (nothing new there though!) and I've got stingy eye tiredness.

Really, I'm just listing lots of things about myself and associating them with being pregnant...

If you don't mind me asking kel did you test in December when you had your chemical pregnancy? The reason I ask is that our ERPCs were within a couple of says of each other (22 & 24 Nov iirc) and in December I had THE heaviest period. It was not nice and unlike any I've had before. I'm just thinking whether you experienced the same? Hope I'm not saying the wrong thing...

mscoffee Kaliber tastes like vomit - i can highly recommend alcohol free Becks, i always have it in the house just-in case i get preggy for when i am not drinking alcohol. it got me through my last pregnancy with DS it tastes just like the real thing.

Bloody hell blue hope you are ok, you seem to have very interesting neighbours. I have never been in a house fire before but the thought terrifies me. I know someone in the village where i grew up who died in a house fire (only late 30s ) and someone in a house 10 doors down from us was rescued from a fire 2 weeks ago. His house is completely gutted and it gives me the creeps walking past it. You take care now.

newton i do exactly the same as you, attribute all of my seemingly normal bodily functions to make it a pregnancy symptom!!

kel yep, bloody pregnant women everywhere here too, it is like when you are dumped by the love of your life; all you can see is loved up couples who you want to obliterate

I was holding my friends little girl the other day, she was born in September, 2 weeks before my LO would have been born, and she is adorable, i love my friend to bits (and she was so concerned about me on my due date - even tho she was 2 weeks post partum ) so i feel no ill will towards her, but for a moment i wondered what it would have been like if i had had my baby, if they would have been friends, and my baby would have been at that smiling bouncing stage

Where is blue with that coffee and brekkie?? Another lie in? ah go on then