Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

So, Blue, and anyone else who knows / remembers - is it actually quite hard to tell if 'it' is a boy or a girl during the 20 week scan? We have decided we don't want to know, but as the time of the scan gets nearer (well, ish) I am getting more and more intruiguied. While I won't ask the sonographer outright, I know I am going to be tempted to have a nosey and see if I can work it out for myself. I am guessing too that boys are far easier to spot than girls!

Is the 20 week scan a LOT clearer than the 12 weeker? I am assuming so, although the 12 week scan was far more defined than I thought it would be. I could even make out fingers and things.

Its weird looking at the stats list and seeing some are due in Septemnber - it makes me realise that I am now, eek, over four months gone! For some reason this sounds far longer than saying 'nearly seventeen weeks.'

Who's watching One Born Every Minute tonight? I most certainly am! I have loved the previous series but then I watched with the vague idea that I MIGHT do it myself one day. Now, of course, things are rather different. Hopefully it doesn't scare the shit out of me...

The thing is all tiny ones have willy-like thing to begin with and with the girls it doesn't develop....so you'd think it more likely to spot with a boy but not necessarily! The area is generally developed into what it's going to be by 20 weeks which is why they have a gander then if you want them to.

I couldn't tell what DD was (though they told me she was a girl, but that scan was at 24 weeks not 20) but I seem to be stuck with a hospital where you can't see the screen from the bed, it's behind your head. And when you move they lose the picture. So I've only ever seen still images - apparently our last one was jigging about like a mad thing when I was scanned at 13 weeks but only DP saw it :(

When I had a bedside scanner at 17 weeks and could actually see the screen it was no longer moving.

I hate One Born Every Minute. Drives me nuts. It's completely the opposite of what I would ever want and no-one ever seems to treat the women with any respect at all, or ask their permission for anything, or ever explain both risk and benefit to anything they are doing.

I prefer a darkened room, some comfy clothes, some floor cushions and hiding in the corner by myself doing my own thing and not being watched or prodded by anyone. I've managed to exit all three in a room all by myself so it seems my body knows what it wants too

oh MsEltoe your post about the scans made me so i am sending you extra hugs and a seat in the VIP padded lounge.

It reminded me of my scan after my MC last year, i had spent 24 hours not knowing for a fact whether i had MCd or not (even though i knew the Rivers of Gore were telling me the truth), the sonographer looked at the screen and said 'i dont have good news for you' i actually heard in my metalling mind 'i have good news for you' when i got all excited she said 'no dear you misheard me' in a really clipped tone. The screen was blank

baby we didnt find out the sex with DS. Mainly because my nosey bitch of a neighbour said she was 'so excited to find out what we were having and would be straight round afterwards'

i have heard that the thing that looks like a winky on a li'l girl in the 20wk scan is in fact her labia (though i could be talking complete nonsense)

mseltoe that really is very I've been able to see at most of mine, though at the 12 week one this time I kept trying to sit up a bit to see the screen better which meant she lost the picture...oops!

baby I thought the scan was v clear in terms of the amount we could see but I really don't see how you could be 100% clear on gender from what I saw...obvioulsy I wasn't looking out for 'the sign' of it being a boy because we don't want to know and my beany really wasn't playing along with the being helpful for viewing things yesterday. I have seen others post that it's v v obvious though so I guess it depends a lot on the quality of the scanning equipment (the one in our EPU is much better than the general one for example), what position beany is in etc etc. We'd said we didn't want to know so the sonographer didn't go searching though IYSWIM.

Still at home, no engineer yet though I did get a text to say he should be here between 11-1, but it's now 12:25 and still no sign no idea how long it'll take to fix when he does finally turn up either and hoping the vinyl on the kitchen floor remains intact if he has to pull the washing machine out to fix it as we only had it refitted a couple of months ago...grrrr!! Have got loads of home admin done and online nursery 'research' but not much work then again, not really much I can do remotely!

Wonder how mandas doing? Think she had a scan today!

Right...time for lunch...more soup on offer today

Sorry Martha I keep doing that, honestly I come to the thread with the best of intentions and chat away and then BAM downer alert.

You should have gone and knocked on your nosy neighbour's door after your scan and said 'Hey guess what!!! We're having a ... ... ... BABY!' and then gone home .

All this chat about sex of baby makes me think I need to ring up about the post mortem again. Be nice to know the sex. (Did I just go BAM again?)

mseltoe it's totally fine to have 'BAM' moments on here...really! That's what we're all here for to help and support at ALL stages post MC!! Enjoy the VIP lounge but another phone call to try and track down your results is probably a good idea - can't believe they've kept you waiting so long

This is what we are here for my dear, huge hugs, sometimes life is very very unfair :(

Just a quick post as supposed to be working...have been reading but not posting as trying unsuccessfully to put mc out of my mind and concentrate on DS and ttc.

Had a BAM moment myself just now...my medical records (from erpc etc) have arrived this morning. I now have 6 scan photos of our little baby. Bit of a disappointment in terms of the rest of the stuff they sent as I haven't learnt anything I didn't already know but the scan pictures (although photocopies) will be treasured. They're not very clear but the fact that I now have them means a lot. Haven't told DP they've arrived as he's at work so needed to tell someone....

Will come back later as have been reading but lot of love to you all...

I'm sensing a new thread title brewing here (by the time we get to it we'll all be pg of course)

BANG! And the innocence is gone!

and

mseltoe if you cant have BAM moments here then where can you? we have all done it and will do so many many more times. BAM away dear!

Right i have a dox appt booked for Wednesday morning next week, i couldnt get in with my dox of choice this week but am in no hurry now that i am officially back on the TTC wagon. I got the GP i really wanted too (she is uber lovely and did my urgent referral to the EPU last year ) So i shall report back next week.

Engineer finally been and can't find anything wrong with the washing machine so why did it make a loud bang and leak water everywhere on Boxing Day then eh?!?! Maybe it's just me that thinks there may be something wrong to cause that...grrrr...now need to head into work though really can't be bothered now would much prefer to stay home and try the washing machine and make sure that it IS fine, far too nervous to set it going and go out again for a while! Sorry...just needed little rant...

aw blue boo hiss on your behalf

BAM and the innocence is gone indeed! God, that scan and being told I'd lost the baby is the stuff nightmare are made of!

I just checked because apparently I'm a maso & enjoy torturing myself and I would be 17 weeks now ... that would be pretty big, wouldn't it? Gaaaah!

Also, had to tell a colleague from one of our offices rang and asked me about the baby. I had to tell him on the phone, in front of everyone in the office, that I had miscarried a month ago (someone obviously forgot to inform him when I told my workmates). I actually felt sorrier for me than him, he sounded like he wanted to die, poor dude.

Anyways, I'm going to embarrass myself and ask what a lutheal phase is and how it affects our chances of getting a BFP...help, please!

Hi everyone, so the ttc and swi has started fingers crossed x

moomin good luck!!
maja that must have been awful you poor poor thing

luteal phase is the time between ovulation and your next period. Experts differ on whether it matters or not but some people think it needs to be at least 10 days to sustain a pregnancy as if its shorter than that your womb lining starts to come away from the baby can implant.
Acupuncture, b vitamins and progesterone cream can help to legthen it if its short but plenty of people conceive with a short one.

Thanks for the thoughts today, much appreciated. Blue I'm 20+6 or 21 weeks exactly depending on if I go by NHS measurements at 13 weeks or the Fetal Medicine Centre (naturally I go with the FMC who put me a day ahead - every day counts in the early days!)

So, FMC told me with 70-80% certainty at 13 weeks it was a boy.

They...

Were...

...

...

...

...

Right! Amazing to think that with top notch machines and expertise they can tell so early but apparently so!

Mostly everything looking great (tummy and femur bang on 50th percentile) but looks like I'm growing another big headed monster, with the head over the 97th percentile measuring over a week ahead. DF has a big head, as does DS2 so... my poor neither regions! All the more reason to hope they stick with inducing me little before 40 weeks. My suspicion of an anterior placenta confirmed. Consultant appointment after, I was half expecting them to sign me off to the midwives, but no. Offered me another appointment at 24 weeks 'because of what happened last time' (not usual unless it's your first or there is an issue) which I declined as I feel much calmer these days, so midwife next at 28 weeks for bloods and consultant at 29 for blood results, gtt and seeing if my new consultant agrees to induce (the guy who agreed it was best to ensure I got antibiotics in labour has now left but the new one hasn't started yet...).

baby Sex on the scans is so obvious to me, but I've spent hours pouring over gender scans on youtube. Thing is, the shot they need to have a look isn't likely to happen by accident and if they are going to look, it's usually at the end of the scan (and not at all if you've said you don't want to know). They may get a glance of something as they sweep past but unless you know what to look for it won't mean a thing to you. Bottom line - don't worry about finding out by accident or needing to look away!

FX moomin and welcome to the VIP area!!

manda woo hoooooo to a DS!! and more importantly a healthy strapping mahoosive baby bambino boy! My DS was a whopper at 10lb - i had a CSection tho so glad to hear all went well.

Hmmmm starting to wonder if i really am OVing at the 'right' time. My cycle is usually 3.5 weeks so maybe my OV pains are something else... maybe i should be lengthening my LP.....

martha B vits help lengthen the lp in those that have a less than 'ideal' 14 days but I've never heard of it making any difference to those that are already a good length - only progesterone artificially extends an lp. An actual hormone, rather than a vit. The B vits apparently help your hormone function get to good place, as well as all it's other 'tricks' including egg quality, but if your hormones/lp are fine then your body just won't utilise them for that purpose. I reckon you don't need to worry about that.

Great news manda My beans femur was bang on 50th percentile but tummy and head seemed pretty high up the scale...I kept asking about the size etc was it normal/ok/big/etc etc but just a 'everything's fine' from the sonographer so now wondering how my small hips and nether regions are going to cope

maja so sorry you had to have that conversation

Go moomins

Aha, and x post with you! (yeah, DS2 was 9lb 12oz... fanjo delivery, no time for pain relief! Argh! But, no stitches either )

Well, ov pains can be confusing as they can happen before (super handy) during (also handy) or after Ov (not so much...). Charting would give you a retrospective look giving you a pretty certain 24 hours period when O happened, and if you also mark on your chart when you feel the O pains then you would have a good idea as to when you get your pains. Additionally, you will see your LP in black and white, as it were.

But again charting is something of a pain in the arse commitment until you are used to it, and definitely brings out the obsessive in those that are that way inclined.

Have you used Ov sticks before? I usually Ov 24 hours after getting my positive on those. They are also a bit of a faff and make me obsess but I actually like to obsess

Great news on the scan manda!!!!

Fab news on scans manda & blue !!

I am now swithering about having another private scan before I break our news just to make sure all is okay in there. This MC experience really has made me a paranoid android :( :( :( or do you think hearing the heartbeat would be reassuring enough? My MW appt isn't for another 8 days and i'm really struggling to hide my belly (don't think it's working either!!)

Hope everybody is well, sorry for no name checking, first day back after the Xmas break and i'm really feeling it! :( who invented having to work for a living anyway!!

PS blue one of my chums is tiny (like Kylie's build but smaller in height) and had a water birth no probs with only gas and air (although her bubs was under 7lbs). Have you seen those hypnobirthing CDs? Some people swear by them.

Waiting for the scan to find out I'd lost the baby - yeah - I was convinced there'd be no baby there on the 13week scan, and there was, everything normal. Was back a week later for spotting, burst into tears that time when the baby was okay after losing my first at 14 weeks Rivers of Gore style.

Still freaked out by the 16 week appointment but heard the heartbeat. Heard it again on my Doppler two days before I went into the assessment unit at 17 weeks (too late for EPU) surrounded by bays of women being monitored with all the buh-bum buh-bum of heartbeats. The MW comes in to me and tries to find heartbeat with the big paddle affairs, not very useful with a 17w baby of course, so we wait 20 minutes for her to come back with a doppler, which she had a scope round with for 5 minutes, found nothing, again not entirely unusual, not to worry, we'll get a registrar with their scanning machine. Waited 1 hour 30 minutes for the doctor with her scanning machine. She didn't know how to set it up/zoom in and out and it was set up for term-ish babies so couldn't see mine. Again fault with technology generally blamed, ended up being scanned for over 20 minutes before they got a good enough look to confirm that the heart had stopped beating, with me laid flat on the bed that whole 20 minutes staring at the ceiling wondering how I was going to tell DD. After that I was scanned again with a better machine just. in. case. And still surrounded by the buh-bum buh-bum.

Then I was taken to a room in labour ward (never been in labour ward before, scary) and left alone and guess what I could hear from the next room? BUH-BUM BUH-BUM.

Maja I have never showed at 17 weeks. More like 30 for me.

Great news blue and manda Congratulations on the DS!

Don't worry blue babies have a knack of coming out. I'm not a big person (size 10, smallish build) and although DD wasn't a big baby either (7,9) she removed herself like a cannonball with no effort from me (and no stitches either).

Oh, the reason I'm here - got through to the hospital who said the post mortem results were in in November, but the doctor I'm under (no idea who I've never seen a obs consultant) is away for a year (?) and the secratary who is supposed to reallocate people has broken her arm (?) but the post mortem nurse shouted at them a lot when they said that it'd be March before I get anything so apparently now I'll get a letter about an appointment in the next two weeks............

BAM!