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Original poster

The BESH Factor. We're not on a journey or finding ourselves. We just want to win!

999 replies

InTheSunshine · 19/11/2011 23:57

Join us. Not just Saturday nights but every night for fun filled 30 something TTC. Drumroll pliz. Bring out some sexy dancers. We're ready to sing for a win.

OP posts:
NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 08:29

I'm quite reluctant to post this, as with a bit of luck it's all blown over now and no one else was thinking about saying anything more anyway, but I think that if I were bugs I would feel very got at by the repeated posts (I know, the irony!) mentioning the word bitterness.

It's a good thing to try to protect the fred ethos of unsullied public happiness at a win, but, in the context of what cass was saying about supportiveness, i wonder if there might be a gentler way to achieve that with someone who is clearly still in the emotionally bonkers stage of pregnancy loss - maybe just one person saying it once, or someone being deputed to put it in a supportively phrased PM. Or something.

I am feeling all idealistic and don't want ANYONE to be unhappy as a result of things wot get sed on here. And also nervous that I have stuck my oar in when I am quite new and have least claim of all on how the fred works. I hope no one minds.

AlpinePony · 08/12/2011 08:30

Err... I strOpped at the estee lauder counter, not stripped!

NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 08:31

Oh dear, and now I have also accused bugs of being emotionally bonkers. I realise I have set myself up for an all round fail.

LauraPalmerIsComingToTown · 08/12/2011 08:33
LauraPalmerIsComingToTown · 08/12/2011 08:34

For ffs. That's supposed to be 'peeks', stoopid phone.

NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 08:35

I did wonder, wifelypony! I thought it might have been some special treatment thing...

I just bought three loose eye shadow things from Neals Yard, because they were in the sale and were gorgeous colours. But I hbe discovered that none of the colour actually attaches to your eyelids. Am I a make up fick who is doing it wrong? (Yes) I might try it with a wet brush.

NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 08:41

Ow, laura. Did you know he was going to pull out (I mean, had you agreed before that this was a non-trying time)? Not that that really helps when your heart decides to break at something. Did he say he never wants to try again? He might just be having a temporary wobble which will all smooth out again shortly.

And you can shove your peaks in here any time.

HaveYourselfAFaithyChristmas · 08/12/2011 08:49

pone the one I used - the some kind of gorgeous is designed like a record and gives the best coverage I've ever had, ever. Makes one look flawless. I bought it to take on honeymoon and now nothing else compares.
Northey I totally get what you're saying and rather hope the dawning of today can draw a line under all this. It's been a period of significant high and lows for the BESH. I'm sure everyone is delighted with the highs and has the utmost sympathy for those going through the lows I must confess to being jealous of pretty much everyone who can simply decorate their house with Christmas decorations. I drove past our house last night. Our neighbours house looks like Blackpool, ours has a massive skip outside with the contents of our living room in it. Seemed rather strange
LP I suppose he is just experiencing a grief reaction? Perhaps for him it's easier to just not try than try to prepare for the potential trauma again. I doubt either of you Are really in a position to make any long term decisions at the moment. Give him some time, but do be honest about how you feel with him.
I would luff to see stripping at the makeup counter. Just imagine their faces Xmas Shock

AlpinePony · 08/12/2011 08:51

faith I am a big fan of a small wet brush. If I'm going to the effort of painting my face I want it to still be going strong 72 hours later. (Uni legacy?)

Laura I don't know how you pulled that off, the discrete crying I mean. :( I think that was quite a hurtful thing for him to have done. Would he be open to approaching a counsellor to discuss all of this? This issue will not be swept under the carpet, it's too big.

AlpinePony · 08/12/2011 08:52

faith thank you for the tip, I might treat myself next week.

baublelugs82 · 08/12/2011 09:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

AriesWithBellsOn · 08/12/2011 09:45

Morning all. Gosh, you started early.

I want today to be a happier day There has been some horrible stuff happening to some poor BESHes of late, and LP I read your post this morning and was very, very sad for you. I am the last person on earth to a Little Ray of Sunshine, but I woke full of the Glooms this morning again and was suddenly sick of it. I was trying to think of good things in my life and to my enormous surprise I could think of quite a few. Punch me in the face with a haddock if you want, after all it is the BESH way. Here are a few (in no particular order):
-I have a handsome husband even if he can be a thoughtless fool and he is kind and funny and lovely and we have fun

  • I live in a completely beautiful part of the world, which most people would envy like mad
  • I run my own business and am not an office-bound wage slave
  • I have a lovely baby substitute cat. Now apart from the fact that she was quite deliberately sick on the bed this morning at 6.45am, I love her like mad.
  • I still have my mum and dad
  • I have nice neighbours

There. Anyone else is quite welcome to join in.

NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 10:03

Good game!

  • I have an exceptionally decorative boyfriend, who likes all the same sort of stuff I do and is remarkably patient about having my freezing feet shoved against him in bed. And his temple hairlines are really not receding as much as he thinks (oh ok they are. But it couldn't matter less)
  • My cats are the most glorious examples of the species ever invented. They are beautiful and cunning and evil and yet submit to undignified cuddles from me without complaint.
  • I have just received the house sale contracts in this morning's post, and so I should be living with them full time again before Christmas.
  • All the treatment HAS made me have regular cycles, and presumably ovulatory ones too, so a baybee IS going to happen.
NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 10:05

Also

  • I really like blustery weather, so am very much enjoying the early stages of it today. Though I hope that places where it's really bad don't suffer anything terrible.
AriesWithBellsOn · 08/12/2011 10:06

Yay! Well done Northey. Your chap sounds very easy on the eye and I'd like to cop an eyeful. MrA is getting some white stubble. It only enhances his manliness Grin

AriesWithBellsOn · 08/12/2011 10:06

It's quite draughty here I must say.

KatAndKit · 08/12/2011 10:09

laura you two are really going to need to have the hard conversation about this issue. It's not fair on you to pull tricks like that one. I can understand that he doesn't want to go through another mc, but perhaps if some sort of counselling happened, he might come to understand that two miscarriages is often just shit luck. Look at me for example. I'm in the same position, my boyfriend already has a child but of COURSE that will never be the same for me as having my own baybee. Plenty of women have a baby after two miscarriages. There are some I have come across on MN who have had a happy ending after 3 or 4, although of course I hope you never have to go through that. Perhaps if he talks to you and tells you what is going on in his head regarding not wanting to TTC. It may not be a forever decision, it may be that it is too hard for him right now. But still, first post mc sex is a hard enough bridge to cross without anything to make it more upsetting.

rie I had never even thought of that about balloons and I will be much more aware of it in future. I'm surprised that I'd never read about it before.

I think I'll add a few things to the happy list as I have a shit cold and am skanking around in my pyjamas feeling generally sorry for myself

I have an amazing boyfriend. He doesn't care that I gave up my job and he has to pay all the bills. He just wants me to be happy.

We have lovely family. Sometimes not the most tactful people on earth but very kind and well meaning and always there to help.

Although we live somewhere very non-posh, we have a quite nice house even though it badly needs entire redecoration. We don't have to worry about space and we don't have to worry about affording the mortgage.

I have a fridge full of chocolate milkshake at the moment (MrK works in a dairy) and I have just had a whole pint of it for breakfast!

NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 10:10

Well Mr A sounds something of a catch himself! And your cat sounds pretty darned fine as well.

AriesWithBellsOn · 08/12/2011 10:14

Said cat has a fucking heart murmur I found out from vet this morning. I dread to think how much this will cost me. She could turn all four paws up at any time,

However I am determined not to let this ruin my day :)

NortheyPole · 08/12/2011 10:22

Oh poor darling puss! But she sounds like a cat with a mind of her own, and not at all inclined to turn up her little baked bean toes just because a vet has suggested she might.

AriesWithBellsOn · 08/12/2011 10:25

I am liking the cut of your jib, NorthPole. Any friend of my cat's is a friend of mine etc.

AriesWithBellsOn · 08/12/2011 10:28

I have sent you un message.

AlpinePony · 08/12/2011 10:30

I concur, MrA is the hawtness.

bugs I'm glad you're feeling a bit more chipper today - a shopping trip for you perhaps? Buy yourself some "frivolous shit"? Perhaps even a day in Harrogate and pretend you're rilly posh! Grin

KatAndKit · 08/12/2011 10:33

I agree with northey, I have just had a look at your cat and she definitely does not look like the sort of puss to be bossed around by vets. Sorry she is poorly though and hope they can sort her out.

FrostytheSunshine · 08/12/2011 10:33

Oooh I love a bit of positivity me.....

I have a great job which I love and have worked very hard for and finally feel like I am doing what I am meant to do Smile

I have amzing friends both in RL and on here. In fact I've recently met a bunch of ESH who make me feel like I'm not a complete failure and understand what it's like to be TTC for like foreva!

I have a great family who would do anything for me and me for them. My mum in particular is my hero.

My husband is too great for words. And he gets better looking with age.

We have a beautiful house. I am healthy.

It's nearly bloody Christmas Xmas Grin Xmas Grin