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Conception

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Original poster

The BESH Factor. We're not on a journey or finding ourselves. We just want to win!

999 replies

InTheSunshine · 19/11/2011 23:57

Join us. Not just Saturday nights but every night for fun filled 30 something TTC. Drumroll pliz. Bring out some sexy dancers. We're ready to sing for a win.

OP posts:
AriesWithBellsOn · 07/12/2011 11:16

Hi Northey. Well on and off for a while. 18 months perhaps? But always in a "could try harder" sort of way. Which is one reason why I haven't sought medical help yet - we really could try harder. The fact that we don't throws all sorts of things up, such as perhaps subconsciously we're not really up for the whole parenthood thing. And perhaps we're not suitable parents. Without wishing to go into too much detail on here, we're both insanely busy in the summer months and having a newborn between June and September, or even being very heavily pregnant, would be well nigh impossible. I can just imagine what it would do to our relationship, espcecially if we had a sick or "difficult" baby.

Mostly I'm pissed off because of the failure aspect. No matter who tells me I'm not a failure, the fact is I am one. Because I have failed to do something which shouldn't be difficult. And I had a dream last night that my sister - mother of a 1 and a half year old - decided to tell everyone she was pregnant again at Christmas. When I found it impossible to be pleased for her, everyone turned to me (in the dream) shouting about what a bitch I was. I am terrified of this coming true. My cousin, a very good and close friend, is pregnant again as well.

Must go, MrA is back.

AuntieDoris · 07/12/2011 11:22

Rie I am the same. It doesn?t matter who tells me that I am not a failure I still feel like one. It should be so simple. Take knickers off, lie down (optional), do the sechs, get pregnant. No-one told me that I would need to try so fucking hard to do something that should come naturally!

When my younger sister told me she was pregnant with her second child I cried for hours and hours, and then the next day I started all over again. I couldn?t feel pleased for her, and I still don?t. I still feel like a bitch about that and I have had people who have told me that to my face. Very helpful.

Casserole · 07/12/2011 11:31

Hey Euro just reported your post due to accidental real name using - just in case it disappears and you wonder why later.

Rie I'm off out now but will be back to you xxxx

KatAndKit · 07/12/2011 11:42

I think euro might have been talking to newbie maja as opposed to another person whose real name is very similar but with a different spelling!

Casserole · 07/12/2011 11:54

Aha! Good detective skillz Grin

Truffkin · 07/12/2011 12:04

Belated congrats to Moley am joining in nekkid dancing but am deploying pasties to avoid creating a human milk fountain

BrownB · 07/12/2011 12:08

Hey Moley - congratulations on the BFP!! Am joining in the nekkid dancing too, although am keeping a wary distance from that there Truffkin...

baublelugs82 · 07/12/2011 12:21

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KatAndKit · 07/12/2011 12:29

Aww bugs what happened to start the row? it's hard for the menz to express their feelings about mc, I remember feeling infuriated that mine never cried about it and mistook that for not caring. And it also isn't like they can talk to the other menz about it, whereas we always have each other for advice and sympathy. It's probably better that you had a row and got it out in the open. Much better than not talking about it. Hope you enjoy your cakes

MadameBoo · 07/12/2011 12:49

Oh Bugs I am sorry for your loss, I truly truly am - but please - no bitterness directed at the ESH, not here - this is meant to be a place where we support each other, and every ESH BFP is a cause for rejoicing. We've all been through the ringer in here. And we will rejoice with you with no jealousy when you get your next one, OK?

FrostytheSunshine · 07/12/2011 12:58

Ah Rie it's just so fucking unfair all this. We get told from a very early age that we will get pregnant. We are conditioned to believe it should happen. Reality is much much harder. You're not alone. I have all those thoughts, failure, not ready & the sister thing. I can't make you feel better. But I do understand. Luffs.

FrostytheSunshine · 07/12/2011 13:01

X posts Boo you managed that much more eloquently than I ever could!

Dammit are you staying in the Palais then? Are you?!

Loving that the ESH contingent turn out for a win.

Moley how are you today? Still POASing?

AriesWithBellsOn · 07/12/2011 13:09

Thank you Cass and Sunny.

Hit the nail on the head, Boo.

MadameBoo · 07/12/2011 13:13

My 26 year old niece just dropped the butterdish. She's terrified. She's just had to talk her chap into being into the idea of fatherhood. But she's going to be a brilliant Mum and I am very proud of her.

My Auntie has had 3 ectopic prgnancies and a few miscarriages. She is now too old to conceive. I can't tell you how much she loves smallboo. And she must get jealous and wistful at times.And we have cried together at the loss of her babies (tears in my eyes right now). But she has never ever made me feel bad because I got to have a child and she didn't. My grandmother had many miscarriages and a baby that only lived for a week. So we think we're a bit rubbish at this baybee business in my family, and that smallboo may be a bit of a miracle.

AriesWithBellsOn · 07/12/2011 13:15

Boo, you are lush and I luff you.

That's all.

MadameBoo · 07/12/2011 13:20

Right back at you riesontobelieve Thanks (and you know the extra bit that I didn't post too).

AriesWithBellsOn · 07/12/2011 13:22

When you coming down west next?

MadameBoo · 07/12/2011 13:24

When I win that night in the posh family hotel in the christmas competitions. :o

AriesWithBellsOn · 07/12/2011 13:29

BTW, despite being a Very Ancient And Bitter BESH, the whole butterdish is something I've never got. Pliz explain, someone equally Ancient. Pone? PONE?

baublelugs82 · 07/12/2011 13:40

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AlpinePony · 07/12/2011 13:41

Someone from elsewhere on mn came to BESH after having an argument with me someone from here - then berrated us for having trouble conceiving. She claimed that she'd accidentally become pregnant, not once, but twice IIRC. JacCho lost her shit and claimed that an "accident" was "dropping the butterdish" - not falling on an ejaculating penis.

And so, the butterdish was born.

baublelugs82 · 07/12/2011 13:44

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AriesWithBellsOn · 07/12/2011 13:45

Oh I seeeeeeeeeeee! I'm wiv ya. I spent ages feeling too stupid to ask, and now I know for sure I am stupid, I figured what the hell.

Anyway shouldn't you be shagging like a newlywed?

What did you wear? Was it in a registry office? Where did you do it? Are you now a Mrs? Have you kept your name? Was Bear there? Did he hold the ring on a cushion and look angelic?

baublelugs82 · 07/12/2011 13:55

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AlpinePony · 07/12/2011 13:57

I wore a white dress because I am almost technically a teenage virgin bride - it was indeed a registry office. Very nice, very simple. A friend read a poem and we repeated a vow, 'ad a snog, signed our lives away and that was it. I've kept my name but may take his if we move to the UK. Bear. Harrumph. Well, knowing it was mummy's special day he's had a rough few days and not content with waking up hourly the night before, puked ALL OVER our bed at 4am... :( We didn't take him because if he'd been asked to hold a ring he'd have eaten it - plus, I wanted to be able to put my make-up on and get ready without a neverending stream of "darling, sit down, NO, No, NOOOO " etc. Anyway, it was Sint Niklaas here for the kids so he had a nice day anyway.