O Little Town of BESHlehem: Population Waiting. We're no angels but we're being --really really-- mostly good...now give us what we want

[LauraPalmer]

Or we burn the place down!

In my dream you were Peter Crouch tall. But you would tower over me....

Oh God, it's hard enough to find sleeves and leg lengths to fit as it is. Poor Peter Crouch.

Do I detect a note of sickbed boredom in your posts?

Oh yes. MSB is babysitter Dnephew while my Sister is out. Question is, do I go to work tomorrow? I'm better than I was....

There are several Tall BESH, the same as there are several gingerBESH. I believe our Sunny and BrownB are 6 footers, so you're not alone there, Northey

Has boo not fessed up yet?!

[gets out the thumbscrews]

Faithy see how you feel in the morning. So many times when I've been ill I've felt better in the evening, but right back to square one in the morning.

[offers round chocolate cake & ]

Come on Boo - face up!

I have just got back from the WI. They are a filthy bunch!!!

I am a short fat BESH.

Ok, as being as you all asked so nicely. I have had two glasses of wine with my friends after body balance so I feel ready tell you.

So, you remember that at the end of my post of 22.12 last night I said I was going to go downstairs and do a lady racehorse out of desperation to distract my man from his games console? I scampered downstairs nekkid and did a downward dog on the floor. MrBoo looked bloody terrified and started shouting 'What are you doing?!, what the hell are are you doing?!'. I stood up and explained that it was what lady racehorses did when they wanted to entice their males and why on earth was he looking so scared? He said 'Thank the Lord for that, I thought you were going to SHIT ON THE FLOOR!'. I laughed till my eyes watered, and nearly did do my business on the carpet out of sheer hysteria. I did ask him through my gales of laughter why on earth he would think I would want to do that, and he said that he thought I'd lost my marbles and gone a bit mental. I can assure you that my behaviour has been perfectly sane of late and he had no cause to worry.

I hope that has made you all happy. I am so going to regret sharing that with the world in the morning.

Hahahahaha. Ahahahahahaha. That is fabulous. Did you notice any extra stallion oomph in him in response?

Not one iota. But if we do get a win this month then we shall have a funny story to never tell our offspring about the night we conceived them hey?

And the thing is, if I was going to poo on the floor why would I get into a bloody yoga pose first?!!!

Not to mention all the "what did you do different the month you got a bfp" threads. Generations of women will be copying the winking technique. Did you actually wink at him, by the way?

I'm still working on perfecting that one. Maybe I'll try that one tomorrow night. I'll have to get one of those horses tails a la Alison Goldfrapp: <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=dHf&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&biw=1280&bih=671&tbm=isch&tbnid=d22KmLpJgN7GYM:&imgrefurl=www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/rockandjazzmusic/3645730/Blonde-ambition.html&docid=1k_QHTqs1g3r8M&imgurl=i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01164/arts-graphics-2005_1164141a.jpg&w=199&h=326&ei=OWG8TrXSKsjMsgammvzyAg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=755&vpy=278&dur=2389&hovh=260&hovw=159&tx=78&ty=177&sig=109953729504754062520&page=3&tbnh=144&tbnw=95&start=38&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:38" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I LOVE her. I'm such a lezzer.

boo that is awesome! Any seduction in the Faith household this weekend will be in the style of Monica from Friends...will you rub vaporub on my chest?!
Beware, I'm off sick again today and I'll be all the more bored on day 3 at home alone.

Aries I'm going to read that original BESH thread now - and I think I'll probably get dust in my eyes doing so.

bugsy Sorry, but you're not even the tallest ESH! (Not me obv. I'd come up to your knees.) Burrif you're 5'10" - how tall is that man thing you keep at home because he towers over you!? (Reading back I see bloodknowitallAries has already put you straight on the height front - she keeps files y'see. Comprehensive ones.)

boo That is one of the funniest things I've read around here! What on earth goes on in your house that he thought that was the only plausible explanation?

Ha ha ha! Boo if you win a baybee this month I demand you name it Cavey in my honour - I did give you the inspiration after all!

If we're keeping score on the height front, I'm 5ft6 though I'm rarely out of heels [shoe fetish] In my defence I don't buy expensive shoes - they're all from New Look & TK Maxx, etc, but there are rather a lot of them!
HWHNN is 6ft1.

Well now you know how horses work it should be a shoe-in.

Cavemum Do you wank the stallions off if you need to? When I had my girl in Belgium she spent some time at a showjumping yard and he had one of those mechanical "girl horses" for the stallions to mount and he used a long tube with a rubber "receptacle" on the end for collecting the muck and he'd have to "finish the job". The owner was (and is) the most beautiful man I've ever seen - it just seemed so undignified for both man and horse. Didn't help my mare's concentration much either. She's mad ferrit.

Boo I think I just laughed so much that a bit of wee came out

alpine, no artificial insemination is banned in racehorses so it's all got to done naturally. Any non-horsey blokes that I've taken to the "covering shed" in the past always leave feeling rather inadequate

I work in an office now so don't get get to play with the horsies anymore

Quick run down of horsey ESH's for you:

Me: Latvian (Hanovarian) warmblood (chestnut mare)
boxer : 1 Shitland + 1 rather nice hunter (dun gelding)
Kate : 1 dream pony + 1 hunter (chestnut mare)
iggypiggy : 1 Irish jumper/hunter (coloured gelding)
silver : 1 warmblood (?) (bay gelding)
fanny : Hasn't ridden for a couple of years but is a Kiwi eventer

Obviously I am talking about our nags and not us.

Do you work for Wetherby's or something?

We all rode during our pregnancies to varying degrees - and all of us got back in the saddle asap afterwards. The only warning is - riders tend to have gussets of steel and we don't give up the first baybee too easily (massive generalisation).