O Little Town of BESHlehem: Population Waiting. We're no angels but we're being --really really-- mostly good...now give us what we want

[LauraPalmer]

Or we burn the place down!

Ahh, I see! I would never have guessed that!

[hands faith a jam jar and turkey baster]

Going anywhere nice, twinpeakster? Or boing old worky travel?

Boring. Not boing. Though the bakerloo line does rather bounce you to the ceiling sometimes.

faith - job is vaguely medical in nature, so if I get an interview I may well pester you with intelligent and focused questions, like, "so, this NHS, eh? Coo, that must be tricky to run." etc.

Ovarian drilling sounds like the kind of thing Sarah Palin would approve of. "Drill baby drill" and all that. Mad bint....

As you were.

[puts Aries in a headlock and ruffles hair playfully] Wotcha!

I'm debating a name change for the other half - whilst Bendy makes sense if you know him, I think it lacks that certain something for this thread. I'm failing to come up with anything remotely amusing, so for the time being he will be referred to as HWHNN (he who has no name)

I always though BESH stood for "Brilliantly Evil Sechsy Hags" myself

Why not both cavey?! You'll have to take it up with rie, she started it!
Anyone fancy fetching and feeding me soup? I don't have any in the house, MSB has the car and I can't be arsed don't feel well enough to walk there. I could make some...really can't be arsed

I need a more imaginative name for Mr euro I think. I hate "DH" so it has been useful outside BESH freds for referring to him but I think I need something more colourful here. Any ideas? Shall I raffle off the chance to name him?

Don't worry, Cavey, there's not some kind of Humour Chart for Husband Nicknames. MrA is the crappest name ever (as is my own username, which I flirted with changing for a while, but kept fucking it up), but at least I can remember it.

What did I start, Faith? What? Sorry you're ill by the way. Sounds horrid. Do you fancy being showered with fishguts? Usually works a treat.

I had some attractive streaks of blood in my egg white the other day. I am assured this is a sign of Superwoman ovulation and that it's nothing to worry about. Have never had it before. Have all my 1,034 TTC cycles before now been lame ducks? Have I been shagging unnecessarily? I am a wad of neuroses. This is all crap. Daily I think "I'm fed up now: I'll stop" and then I find myself pressing buttons on computers, peering for one bar, two bars, three bars and an egg - BINGO!, counting days, clambering on....etc. God it's tedious.

I take perverse comfort from the fact that none but a true BESH could make sense of the above.

Fuck is allowed. Say it. Say it

Feeling the tedium rie. Reckon I'll have a ttc holiday this cycle but probably still imagine immaculate conception since it's MSB's appointment.
Did you not start original Fred re BESH rie? Am I high on cold and flu pills confuddled? I'll take the fish, whatever it takes to get better. Can't take another day off watching This Morning and rumpology.
euro can you describe some more of Mr E's features to help us aptly name him? I agree somehow the 'darling' is rather unBesh.

Oh it's all very perverse Aries.

I've mentioned on other freds that I work in the ultra-glam world of racehorse breeding (or horse prostitution as HWHNN likes to call it) . If we mere human women got half as much fertility assistance as these flippin mares we'd all be diffed in no time:

All of the mates have their cycles charted in a book/file.

When you think they're due to come into season they're put to the Teaser (poor boy, he gets to have a sniff and a look but NO ACTION)

If she's not ready she'll kick and lash out. If she is in season she'll stand still and (this is the bit that makes me laugh) "wink" at him. And no I don't mean with her eyes - she lifts her tail and flashes her lady parts at him [hussy]

She's then whisked off to be seen by the vet who will scan her ovaries to check for a follicle. If the follicle is big enough she'll be booked to the stallion that day, or if not she'll be scanned again every day until the follicle is big enough.

Once she's been to the stallion (we call it "covered") she will be brought back for the vet 12 days later and scanned for pregnancy.

If she's not in foal she gets a shot of progesterone to restart her cycle straight away.

Life would just be sooooo much easier that way!

Bitch. Bloody bitch! (the racehorse) I wonder if I should wander into town of an evening (after being scanned of course) and waggle my fanjo at passers by in case someone takes me up on it. Maybe with a clarsy sign above my head saying "Get it here", or perhaps "Cover me - ps only those with an off the scale white goods count need apply".

No no, I am not one of the origiBESH. I'm not that ancient and wizened. Pone is though

Ha! I had an email returned to me once when I emailed my sister at Hackney Borough Council, which contained the word "shit". And apparently she was reprimanded. From then on, I used her Yahoo account.

Hark at me making up for lost postage time.

laurielou was the original besh, or "god" as we like to call her. Me and Cosmosis were the next two through the doors. We all now have our baybees. :)

cavemum good work, there are a lot of horsey esh. One of the reasons we are besh is because we prefer omg poniez!!1! To baybees.

Wasn't it Don'ttrythisathome. She was so ancient and wise I never even met her. She had laid by the time I even appeared.

cavey that is a truly brilliant system. Think it should be introduced for wimminz too. Much easier. Especially flashing the fange.
Bendy is an excellent name for the other half. I am imagining him with a bendy cock.

aries you are surely having some sort of mega ovulation. Tis good to see you back.

If moley posts on here, work blocks the page! Message saying 'MN has been blocked because it may be offensive'
Offensive to whom?!
Definitely could learn from the randy mares!
rie perhaps I was confuddled by the idea of you starting this Fred and thought you were an original BESH.

She ws the first one to win a baybee, but the thread was started by laurie.

Find it