Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

*Quod might.

Hello, thank you for the welcome.

I haven't heard of Fertility Friend....I will take a look now. Tutorials certainly sound like my kind of thing.

Thanks!

Thanks Awayinamangercooper, I had no idea that my teeth could be affected by pregnancy! I had my first smear this year and all clear (is it an annual thing? Or only every few years?)I shall check out Fertility Friend too :) Thanks for the advice, all very much appreciated. None of my friends have really embarked on this road yet so I feel like I'm flying solo a bit...

LadyBourne I'm a teacher too (but secondary - could never handle the little 'uns) and brand new to the whole concept of TTC. Do you find yourself trying to plan things around the school terms? I worry about leaving my exam classes half way through their course if I go on Maternity leave (assuming everything goes to plan - fingers crossed!) Overthinking?

No no, Quod is still very much here, on CD1 of what was a little while ago planned to be the first cycle of TTC...of course it won't be! . DP did however wake up and tell me he'd dreamt we had 2 children, and that they were very sweet. Oh the lovely imaginary children, they are well behaved!

After all this waiting I am now so footloose and fancy free that my feet are about to fall off.

AC - how was birthday weekend?

Hiya Ladies,
Can I join your thread please? I had been on a TTC thread as DH and I had decided to start having SWI. However, no sooner had we made our decision my work announced possible redundancies so DH now wants to wait. I know his intentions are good and he is being sensible, but I no longer have a sensible head when it comes to TTC, I just want to do it now.

I am hoping this thread will offer me a place to vent with other women who understand how I feel. Today I found out my sister in law is pregnant and I know I should be really happy for her but I found myself crying because it wasn?t me (don?t worry, I did say congratulations and waited until I was on my own to cry). Plus 2 months ago I found out my younger brother?s girlfriend is now pregnant which wasn?t planned and at work there is 11 pregnant women, so there really is no escape. DH keeps saying that our time will come but I hate this waiting game, I just wish he could understand how a woman feels when she is ready to have a baby.

Oh dear, I have just read back over what I have wrote. I am so sorry to have such a rant on my first post. Please forgive me, I promise I am normally a much more up-beat positive person. Today just hasn?t been a good day.

Welcome new people! There seem to be a few teachers around on this thread. I'm a secondary teacher and know exactly what you mean VeniVidiVino (nice name btw!) - definitely worry about leaving the exam classes. It's even at the point where last week I was thinking about the students going up into the 6th form for next year and caught myself thinking maybe I should delay TTC because they are such a nice bunch I wouldn't want to miss them. Not good! There are quite enough factors likely to get in the way without adding another consideration - at this rate I could end up waiting another 10 years!

Sympathies to pinsent and Quod :(

VeniVidiVino - I certainly know what you mean by planning your life around school, I worry so much about who I'll be letting down. I've started at a new school this Sept so feel I will be massively inconveniencing them if and when I get pregnant. However I could also could be getting a bit carried away as it could well take ages!

I thin you've got to put yourself first and to be honest I don't think there's ever a right time where school is concerned!

Hi pinsent, don't worry sometimes a rant is the best thing - you need to get these things off your chest!
Must be a very frustrating time for you - is this your first time TTC? Have you and DH set a possible time to start trying?

Awayinamangercooper - thanks for the heads-up regarding the fertility info website, haven't looked through all of it, but certainly think it will be informative.

Thanks for the welcomes ladies. I too am a secondary school teacher so totally understand where you're coming from notthehippopotamus and venividivino. My sixth formers and my form have said that i am not allowed to get pregnant until they have left school. I honestly think i will cry at the thought of someone else looking after my form. Although my need for a baby is far greater.

Thanks for being so understanding ladybourne. We are were trying for baby number 1. We have said that we will start trying again around April as we have a holiday planned to Thailand, so thought it would be a nice way to get going. However i am really worried that if i do get made redundant that DH will want us to wait until i have got a new job and then settled into it and that wouldn't be for about a years time. However DH has a good job and although money would be tight for a while, it would be possible.

DH should be home in about an hour so no doubt TTC will be the topic of conversation over dinner tonight. Wish me luck!

Hello pinsent sounds like a rant is what you needed, and this is certainly a good place to do it! Do you know what the timescale is for your work and redundancies? I would hate to be kept waiting indefinitely, very frustrating.

Thanks for the welcome notthehippopotamus you're right that there's never going to be a good time I suppose, but if everything works out with TTC I will feel guilty encouraging students onto 'my' A level course if I won't be there to teach them! Oh well, the school hardly revolves around me :)

Today is the official start of 'cut back on the ' for DH and me. instead this evening then...

At the moment all we know is that our department is over-staffed by over 70 teaching hours and they need to resolve the situation which could involve redundancies. However there is currently 4 pregnant ladies going on mat leave in Januray, so if they decided to come back part-time then that would help. Plus they have asked us if we would be willing to teach in other departments. So hopefully redundancies won't be needed. We will find out if there is going to be any in Januray, but won't know who until March time. It's so horrible not knowing what's going to happen. Plus there is no jobs out there if i am made redundant.

Phew... i really did need that rant. So lovely having MN. I was feeling so alone this morning. DH is lovely and is my rock, but he just can't understand the way i feel and all my other close friends are either pregnant, have children or don't want any at the moment. So it is really lovely to talk to women who understand how i feel.

Sorry to hear that pinsent. I teach too (at university - half teaching, half research). I also worry about cover and things, but then I remind myself that it would be good for the students to see a youngish academic starting a family while maintaining a career as there is a definite lack of us!

Hello everyone!
Welcome all newcomers, and I hope you the rest of you are all just as crazy a before.
I'm into my nvq2 so I can't be on here as much as I like. It's not a pay rise as the government has stopped these things.

I'm glad to see so many new people here!

Lw

Agreed! Welcome! And rant away! I feel a little like I need one tonight as it turns out the job I was offered pays less than the one I'm doing now, even though same company and more work! Grrr! Don't people know I'm trying to make my financial life all safe and secure so I can con my DH into having a baby? (well, no, actually. I haven't told anyone at work)

It's so nice to see so many people on this thread! Can I be nosey ladies and ask what everyone's age is? I turned 31 this month (and I'm secretly worried I'm leaving everything too late)!

Ittybittysmum I turned 34 yesterday. I had really hoped to complete my family by my 35th birthday. Now looks like at best I'll be pg with DC1.

itty- im 27. i know how you feel about the work.
This nvq will allow me to to do laods more work for the same amount of money. however found out that the pension people want to double the amount i want to pay in and get less out! .

so what little money im saving, will go. i just hope that do not go into my savings.

lw

pinsent - such a frustrating time for you. However, a holiday in Thailand sounds like the perfect time to start! Let's hope things have worked out for by then.

Itty I'm 29 but turning 30 in January, which is when I'd like to start trying. No way is 31 too late, whenever you want a baby is the perfect time.

By the way ladies, I am bridesmaid twice next year (April for friend and June for sister) do you think I should wait until after then? I'm pretty sure they'd both be cool about it but don't want to cause any stress!

I'm having exactly the same dilemma
Ladybourne. I am bridesmaid in july & the bride has asked if I am planning babies soon, but as I don't want anyone to know I'm considering TTC I said no. I figure that you can't put your life on hold just to be bridesmaid. I'm at the age when all my friends are getting married, so if I put it on hold for every wedding I am bridesmaid for then I could be waiting a while. I think I will make a firm decision before she buys our dresses, as they can be quite pricey & I don't want her to waste her money. Totally understand your dilemma though, it's not nice feeling like you have let your friends down but they will understand & be happy for you if you are pregnant.

Itty I turned 32 last month. Like AC my masterplan was to pop out 2 by 35, which I think I can only manage now if I breed like a farm animal.

Help. I'm surrounded! By people who have just given birth, people who are announcing their pregnancies, people who are waddling around with huge bumps.

I need to talk to people who are not having babies. We want one, but our sensible heads say wait. Waiting, waiting, always waiting.

I'm going to be having a very LARGE glass of wine tonight while I cry.

Fanjo, I completely know where you are coming from. My DH and I decided to wait 18 months before TTC because it was the sensible thing to do financially. It made sense but so many times along the way we've wavered, thinking, would it really be so terrible if we started now..... It can get so hard - the heart says one thing and the head another!!

pinsent that sounds really difficult, I sympathise with you, especially as it's standing in the way of you TTC :(

Itty I'm 25 and my masterplan is to finish breeding by 30 (though I know you can't exatly plan this kind of thing in any meaningful way!)

As far as being a bridesmaid goes I wouldn't let it get in your way, if she goes bridezilla on you then ignore her. Though I do think pinsent is being reasonable by planning to mention before dresses are purchased - you may even be able to get a dress which could work with a bump in the colour/fabric she chooses. Seriously though, being a bridesmaid is important, bu nowhere near as important enough to alter your own lifeplans for IMHO.

Feeling your pain Fanjo and sending lots of your hugs your way. There is currently 11 pregnant women at my work at the moment plus I have 2 pregnant sister-in-laws, who are both younger than me. I'm only 28 but I always thought I'd be the next one in the family to get pregnant. So to all those women out there waiting to TTC I am sending hugs & happieness out to you all.
Xx

Hello, used to visit more frequently but then drifted away. I'm also another teacher!
We are waiting for a couple of months, not strictly because of DH - he is super keen on the idea, however he had to have a rather delicate operation so we have to wait for him to heal.
Age-wise, I am 39 years old, so I know that we can't wait too long.

It doesn't surprise me that so many teachers are on here, there is a real tendency to put work and the kids before everything else, I know that it is one of the reasons I waited so long. Oddly enough, I was thinking about this the other day when I realised I was starting to feel guilty for taking time off to look after DH.