Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

Hi Chanting, welcome back to the thread! I remember you from before. Did your DH stop smoking yet?

Hi chanting, LadyBourne, VeniVidi and all other teachers on here!
I'm also worrying about starting to TTC with regards to work - I work in a very small school so teachers going on maternity has a massive effect on everything - and there's been a spate of pregnancies recently. I absolutely love my school and really don't want to let my head down by getting up the duff and being off for 10 months... also wonder if I'll be as good a teacher if I have babies - I certainly won't be at school for 11 hours of my day anyway
Life is hard when you're a grown up!!!

Evening ladies. How's everyone feeling? I have now cheered up after my rant the other day. After a big long chat with DH we have decided that I am going to stay off the pill & start charting so that when we start trying I know what's happening with my body. However I told DH that if he wants us not to TTC then it's up to him to be in charge of contraception. Well last night we got down to business, DH started sensibly with a condom but hated the feeling so took it off & decided to try the withdrawal method, however he got a little carried away & didn't quite pull out in time (TMI) . Although I only probably got half of his swimmers, a few more accidents like that & who knows what might happen (keeping fingers crossed)!
Apologies for the overshare of intimate info but was just so excited that I had to tell someone & knew you lovely ladies would understand. X

Awww that's so exciting pinsent! I mentioned to DH that I'm planning on coming off contraception after my period in Dec (have to keep giving him little bits of this kind of info s as to not to scare him into changing his mind - if he knew where my brain was half the time he'd be terrified!) and we both got a fit of the giggles! Just too exciting/scary!!! I'm worried we won't actually be able to get down to business come Jan as we'll be finding it too funny

Hi I am new to MN and have been lurking for a few months.
First post on the ttc waiting list :)
Have come off the pill, but started new job last month, so have sensibly decided to wait till Easter next year! Frustrating and can't stop thinking about it... DH very supportive and also wants to wait till the time is right! Arrgh...roll on 2012. Also turning 30 next year.. scary stuff... but excited.

haha goodluck pinsent ... i will have my finger and toes crossed for you. I have been ready for a year to start a family, but things were not going so well at work and started new work last month and every where I look there are just bumps and babies! I have never felt like this before and just have this crazy urge to start a family now. But financially we are going to have to wait for another 6 months till a decent maternity package is available through work...hence the decision to wait :(

Had a bit of drama yesterday and feeling a bit shakey now.

Theres a whole tread in AIBU about part of it but also found out she did proper hard core drugs while pg with me. Totally killed any trust in her, and on top of other stuff I'm not sure I want her near me right now. But.. I have no one but her to talk to about babies and stuff. None of our friends have kids yet and MIL is so opinionated I couldn't count on her. To give you an idea, I made comment once about not liking the idea of epidurals for me as family history of back problems, and she took it as a personal attack on her choice to have one (and its not my delivery, she does similar to everyone)

Someone tell me I'm being completely unreasonable to contemplate not starting as planned because I will be terrible and I will crack and completely cock it all up and ruin my child. We were both getting excited about last christmas just the two of us (or at least last drunken one) and now I'm freaking that its a completely stupid idea.

Hi everyone, I am super new to mn (as in today new) but have been reading this and had to get involved! Especially having read your posts #pinsent - i am (very!) newly married but my husband is someone ive known since I was a teenager - and recently i have had super mega uber what you guys seem to call babycrack! ( i have no idea what all the acronyms etc mean so please bear with me!) it was always the 'plan' that DH and I would TTC in the year after our wedding. (ie this year coming). My mum is DESPERATE for a grandchild and weve spentyears plotting all the fun we will have when i get pg (although she doesnt know DH and I's timeline). Anyway this year my little brother who is 23 (i am 26) has got his first ever gf pg. Although my family are all devastated (he has no job, theyve been together only since jan, she is only 20, both are v v immature) my overriding (and v selfish) reaction was utter devastation. My baby wont be my mums first grandchild anymore which is super selfish but i literlly cried for days. So #pinsent what you said totally struck a cord. Anyway, this isnt meant to be a depressing post cos im sort of over that all now and focusing on DH and I's quest for a mini-B! We have just bought a 2 bed flat which will be built in feb so although DH desnt like 'putting dates on things' im pretty sure feb will be TTC o clock! Im already off the pill ( i think i had been on it far too long) but have mega baby fever!

Re earlier points on babysniffing - i sooooo get that.

Oops - totally cant work this bold writing thing! I meant pinsent not #pinsent!

mrstwinks i cant offer any personal knowledge on your post but my mum had a similar childhood, her mum was truly awful in many ways, and my mum was an amazing mother. She told me that she was so concious of her childhood when raising us she was never going to make the same mistakes and she is an amazing and very natural mother who i have the best relationship with. Im sure you wont crack and will be equally amazing as a mother - baby twinks will be lucky to have you

Evening ladies. It's FRIDAY, hooray! Hope you have all had a lovely week.

Welcome to MN Mrsb23! I am so glad i am not the only one who has had extreme reactions to family pregnancies. MN has now become my saviour as it has given me a place to vent with ladies who understand how i feel, i hope it will work as a haven for you too.

Twinks - I totally agree with what mrsb23 wrote. I am sure you will be an amazing mother. We all learn from our past and it sounds to me like you have learnt a lot of lessons about what not to do, which will make you a brilliant mum. Plus you shouldn't feel like you have no-one else to talk to as you have all of us lot here.

Nenehooo - it is really exciting thinking that we could have an accident. Just don't tell my DH!

Right i have a bit of a question. I took my last pill on Friday 21st Oct, then started my AF on Fri 28th so i have counted this as CD1. In an attempt to start understanding my cycle i began using OPK's on Sunday (CD10) and so far i have had all negative results (now on CD15). I know it is going to take a while for my cycle to get back to normal but thought i may have ovulated by now. Anyone else got any experience with this?

thanks, made me feel a bit better. pinsent my first cycle after coming off the pill was very long, about 45 days, before settling back into 29 so maybe the same with you. What pill were you on?

Angelico returns! Hello again ladies! How is everything??? AF is here at present. I reckon one more after this and then we'll start trying. Have slight dilemma:

Based on ClearBlue OV prediction I'll be ovulating on Dec 23rd. On upside will have finished work, be suitably chilled. On downside I want a few beverages over Xmas and will be travelling to family and DH's family who will all have non-drinking radars on.

If I wait till Jan and get pregnant straightaway DHC (darling hypothetical child) won't be born till late Sep / Oct which loses precious month of maternity leave. Also January is utter hell in work so body will be awash with stress hormones. On other hand Xmas will be out of the way and probably have been an awesome bender.

Hmmmmmm, decisions decisions! x

MrsTwinks - I was on marvelon for about 3 years but have been on other types of pill over the past 13 years. Hopefully after my first "real" AF it will start to settle down.

Tough decision Angelico. There really is never a good time to TTC, there is always a reason not to. However when you're ready, you're ready, so i would be tempted to just go for it over Xmas, but then i'm really impatient.

Good evening everyone,

Thank goodness it's Friday.

Hello to Mrsb23 and redstrawberry.

pinsent I'm so glad you've had a chat with DH, and are making positive plans, how very exciting.

I have had a fertility book arrive from Amazon today so that's my reading for the weekend as still trying to get my head around ovulations! Been on the pill for 15 years and tempted to come off now to get body back to normal for the new year. My whole situation depends on an operation I'm due to have in a couple of weeks (suspected endometriosis) so swotting up until I know have a verdict from the hospital. If I have it, then I'm going to ttc in Jan, if not, then will wait till spring then not such a problem with weddings!

Have a lovely weekend all x

Angelico - completely agree with pinsent, never a right time, best just to go for it :)

Hooray for the weekend! Amanda - no such luck on the smoking front, but on the plus side, he has been so ill since his op that he has cut down a lot. He has lost more weight though, although without trying, so that makes it just over 10 stone.

nenehoo that is exactly what I mean, there aren't many jobs where the convenience for your work place is more important than your own life choices. One thing that really made me think was the fact that although I am happy waiting, at least a little longer, it never occurred to me that if there were 'issues' that I would be too old to be considered for treatment on the NHS. As it is, I was too old 4 years ago!

This site, and especially this thread, is great. I have learnt so much about the whole TTC process, it has made me feel much more confident that i can cope with whatever happens. LadyBourne - one of the first things i did when I started reading this site was to buy a couple of fertility books, I read the whole of TCOYF the day it arrived (god I felt a moron at what I didn't know). Happy reading!

Pinsent for ages after coming off the pill I OV on CD20, so it could still be on the cards. However those OPK sticks are notorious for missing the surge, which is really brief. You may need to test more frequently.

Chanting I did exactly the same thing with TCOYF! Can't believe we don't actually teach girls the biology they really ought to know, in school. Happy reading LadyBourne. :)

Pinsent I've had ovulations around CD17-20 since coming off the pill 5 months ago. Possibly partly delayed by stress at work but I think also just things settling down.

Angelico I am having a similar dilemma but think my cycle is going to be long this time as I seem to have ov'd as late as CD20 which might push ovulation slightly beyond Christmas. (This is assuming I don't decide to keep waiting for the sake of next year's year 12s and/or seeing my form through year 11 - have to keep reminding myself what a sad thing to say that is.) Also, lots of people do get updiffed while drunk and no lasting harm done to the baby, so maybe you could compromise and drink in moderation while still TTC?? Is that a shocking thing to say on here?

Hi all, sorry it has been so long since I posted

AF has just been for the 2nd time so only one more to go before we can TTC. Cycle seems a bit all over the place as it was 35 days between. Who knows when the next one will pitch up though. Thinking of waiting a bit longer before TTC as really enjoying my time with just DD. Oh I don't know!

Anyway, hope you're all well and that the months between now and TTC are quick!

Wow its been busy in here!

Hi everyone!!!

Strange having all these teachers on the thread! My mum is a teacher and she too has the masisve guilt thing if she ever needed to take time off.

PINSENT I came off the pill in April and my first cycle was a whopping 50 days long! I had been on the pill for 9 years, thankfully they now seem to be settling into a 30 day pattern so I?m happier with that. I think it just takes time for the pill to leave your system.

MRSB23 You?ve pulled me out of lurking to sympathise. My family is very close and my little cousin, 19, no job, no education, no house (they sleep on friends floors) has gotten pregnant by her boyfriend. They?ve been together about 4 months, he?s 23 and already has a one year old with someone else. Neither work or plan to work and instead of being happy that she?s pregnant all I can think is selfish thoughts!! My husband and I worry about how we will afford a baby, how rubbish it will be when I have to go back to work and are taking vitamins, getting exercise and just generally preparing for a baby and she has without thought to anything chosen to get pregnant, despite knowing that my family carries a genetic disorder that puts the baby at great risk. I just wanted my baby to be the first in the family. And now I feel I can?t get pregnant as I may look like I?m copying her and also I don?t want my baby to have to share the limelight! God I sound like such a cow.

I am slowly getting over my feelings, or at least learning to shove them to one side and we have decided to start trying for a baby next month. I am utterly terrified but exciting at the same time!

Anyway, sorry for big long rant, hope you are all having a good weekend!

Glad I'm not the only teacher geek Chanting! Thing that made me think was the recent spate of cancer scares in my & OH's family. Both our parents had us in their 30s and I couldn't bear it if my children didn't get to know their grandparents. Sometimes a good dose of perspective is needed...
Angelico I'm starting to think we were seperated at birth - I have the exact same time frames as you! Am coming off contarception around mid Dec, so technically it's all go from then on... eeek! BUT have been invited to a wedding abroad at beginning of August so was thinking of starting to try Jan.
Would quite like an Oct/Nov baby as lots of my favourite people have bdays around then, but what do you mean about losing a month's maternity?! Hadn't thought about maximising mat time, it's sure to confuse me

weesooty im glad there are people on here who can sympathise - knowing it is selfish doesnt stop it feeling so crap! We too have worried about money esp as i earn more than DH so me being on mat will be a strain for us. Also we have bought a 2 bed flat so our mortgage will be small when we are on reduced income and i worry about the space - then my bro and his gf just jump straight in with no worries as someone else will sort it for them! Grr!

Anyone else earn rather more than DH and worried how it will work?

Angelico I have been having the same thoughts re drinking at Christmas but have come to the conclusion that I will be driving on Christmas day so will only have to think of an excuse for Christmas eve at my dad's. I'm thinking the good old fashioned antibiotics excuse might have to suffice, even though I may get a few suspicious looks...

Hello,

Mind if I join you all?

Another newbie here- first ever mumsnet post.

I'm in my late 20s, married 3 years. DH and I decided about a year ago that we'd start ttc this December (will be mid-December I think cycle-wise)- aiming for a post August baby.

I've lost 3 stone since May (still overweight but still losing...), started on the folic acid/pregnacare at the beginning of Nov, and bought a conception/pregancy book- this is the final step to convince myself its actually real!

I've been so excited for ages and its so hard to keep a secret, so I thought now was probably the time to join you all! I'm sure I've given away my baby interest obsession in RL loads - with pregnant colleagues it seems like I know more than then sometimes - luckily I have a little god-daughter I can use as an excuse for knowing this stuff!

The latest sympton of babycrack for me is checking out pushchairs on the Hight St deciding which one would suit us the most...ermm...

Waiting has had its benefits, we have discussed lots of potentially tricky issues. Would I go back to work, how much child care costs (that was truly scary) and we have practiced by babysitting our nephew.
There will never be a perfect time, unless of course my lotto numbers come up! So bring on Jan!