Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

Hey again everyone, sorry I've not been much. I have been lurking and reading all your posts. I get the whole baby crack thing. I had a scare last December, thought I was pregnant but just had a late period. Since then I have wanted to start trying but we decided to wait til we are married.

Official starting date for TTC will be 6th Dec, after we have been to an awesome metal gig. Circle pits aplenty not good for ba-ba :P

been awhile, but it looks like we will be starting TTC in january!! My brother cancelled his long haul wedding, its now in the UK, so no longer any worry about long haul flights and so forth. Had to change the date too so no way I'm waiting longer!

I just started a new job in a kids shop and I'm so broody! I just had appendicitis, and they were worried it was an ectoptic pregnancy for a while as I was in so much pain. I think being in A&E and having to pee on a stick in there and worry that it might be a baby that we wouldn't be able to have and all that made us both really want to start trying.

Waiting till after Christmas as we are both August babies, and no word of a lie, its about 4 birthdays a week in our families in August so we really don't want one as we want bub's birthday to be special not just the day after auntys/cousins/mummys. I'm DREADING the MIL thou, no word of a lie OH called her from A&E to ask her to pick me up some bits as I was being admitted, first thing was "OOH is she pregnant?!!" all excited. Not a normal reaction to your DIL being in hospital lol!

"I'm Summer born and have always been regarded as 'bright' - just easily distracted!"
Nenehooo - we were clearly separated at birth lol!

Isn't maternity pay just sh*t??? And I hate the way everyone thinks teachers get paid full pay for about six months - erm, no. I wish.

Ratata - loving your style on the metal gig front

General question here ladies, mostly aimed at the first-timers. Have you a preference for your first baby - boy or girl? I would really like to have a girl, followed by another girl. Even better twin girls and get the whole pregnancy thing over with in one go!

I'm in two minds.. I'd love a little girl for me, my little girl iykwim. But, the competitive/parent pleasing part of me would really love to have a boy, as dh is one of only two boys in his generation and there are no boys in the next yet. I'd like to have the first. Just to stop them badgering me for s boy... Honest....

I'm a bad bad person

Ratata - it does make sense re the gig - I went to a couple of gigs around 4-5 months pregnant with DS and I was so aware of how drunk/out of control everyone round me was. I felt very vunerable, which isn't like me normally. DH was very attentive, but I think it rather spolit the mood. It's amazingly quick that you don't feel safe...

Angelico, I would love to have a little girl (actually I'd love two little girls and agree twins would be even better, over in one go!). Whilst I've done lots of reading up on how you're supposed to be able to improve your odds of having a girl (and DH is supportive and prepared to indulge me!), I would be delighted to just have a healthy baby, all being well. Bring on December 27!!

Oh god, I just bought a newborn babygro from mothercare . Now that is broodyness. Ive never brought any baby things before. I guess its just a nice reminder that at some point i will use them. Wont be telling anyone IRL about this! Crikey, i think I'm more about the baby-crack than i thought.

Buddhagirl... For the first time ever ...I wandered through the baby aisle in the supermarket today, sneaking peeks at sterilisers and things. I was so shifty people probably thought I was trying to find my dealer...

Hello fellow WTTCers [hsmile]

Angelico I totally know what you mean. Sometimes I wish I could just be issued with a fertility guarantee - if someone could tell me I was good to go till 40 then I might not feel this creeping sense of urgency.

I love our life how it is, we've everything we need and do whatever we like pretty much, I've a canine infant glued to my side 24-7 and I can't quite imagine a baby in our lives. But for some reason, nature, hormones, chromosomes, babycrack whatever, its increasingly playing on my mind.

DP is setting up a business and I've been the sole breadwinner for the last 12 months, I'm self-employed so measly SMP for me. We've been together 8 years and I've spent the last few months working on Operation Engagement, but its slowly-slowly-catchee-monkey with himself. I suspect he's waiting until he gets a couple of invoices paid before he even thinks about sparkly precious. For him, TTC is completely off the radar. Its so out of the question in our circumstances I think he would be shocked to the core if he knew it was becoming such a constant consideration for me.

Like you buddhagirl I have niggles about my fertility, but these aren't based on anything other than my age and the fact I've never had any slip-ups despite "accidents" over the years. Im 32, 33 is looming large and the only thing I'm completely sure about in all of this (other than how I feel about him) is that I definitely want to have kids one day. And I'm realistic enough to know that I don't have forever...

Hi everyone,

I popped in to say hello on the last thread but then got scared and ran off!!

I have been lurking?. I?m just not sure this thread is where I should be!! I kinda wanna make mumsnet friends tho!

Wee recap about me.. I?m 26, will be 27 in February. Got married a year and a half ago, have a secure job and own our own flat (well mortgage but you know what I mean). My husband is DESPERATE to have a baby. Has been since the day we got married!

And don?t get me wrong, I do feel broody, very broody some days but I?m scared. I don?t think my husband really thinks things through. At 27 I thought I?d have a perfect job and be ready for a baby? my job is secure but its far from perfect, we can pay the bills and we go out for dinner a lot and have luxuries so yes we are ok I?m just worried we won?t have enough! I?m scared I?m not ready, half the time I feel like I?m still 18? how can I be ready to look after something so small and innocent?!?!

I?m sorry I?ve just ranted psychotically! Does anyone else have these worries??

O and almost forgot, we are def, no putting it off, starting to try for a baby after my works night out in December? I?ve put this date back so often there is no way I can move it again!!!

Hello vivipru and weesooty welcome!

Vivipru the baby crack is very addictive. I'm in the same place as you. It can be very scary being responiable for another human being.

Buddagirl- wow I can't believe that. Did you take back the baby grow? Are you sniffing baby crack more??

Anglelico- I don't really mind what I have. For a boy I'd teach him how to be a man, to be gentle when needed. For a girl I'd show her how to be strong like all the female members of my family.

Lydia- have a fantasic time at the concert.

Been to a restaurant today and my focus was on the baby that was crying. Aww........

Buddhagirl I've got a newborn babygro in the back of the wardrobe with the very hungry caterpillar on it and a baby snowsuit that DH bought for the baby years ago but then instantly went back to refusing to talk about TTC.

Weesooty yes I certainly know what you mean, it's incredibly daunting, particularly if things aren't so good at work and you're worried about tying yourself in for the long term for something that's a bit of an unknown quantity. Would you please have a word with my DH by the way, he has moved the goalposts more times than I care to recall.

Notthehippopotamus my DH works from home too and has a very comfortable time of it. I think one of his reasons for not wanting to TTC is that it will disrupt his routine. He's talked about going to work at his mums, but it would be a real sacrifice for him.

hi all, i've been a bit awol but had a rubbish couple of weeks.

started other weekend when dh told me that he wasn't sure that he wanted another dc full stop so i went into emotional meltdown!! i then spent that week coming to terms with ds being an only child which i was kinda fine with but i couldn't come to terms with me not ever being pregnant again!!

anyway dh grandad had been poorly and died yesterday so i haven't said anything else about it but last night he said he'd not completely written off the idea of having another but he is worried about having twins (huge in my side of the family - and he couldn't cope with 3) and also worried about health of another baby now we're getting older (which i think is only natural) so i'm letting him come round on his own now.

he did mention after christmas but i'm not getting my hopes up cos as every month passes i end up upset.

i also have a horrendous cold and feel like i could spend the day in bed but ds has other ideas!

anyway hope to catch up with you all soon x

Hello - after a few weeks of lurking, I can resist no longer and am joining you! I am chomping at the bit TTC #2. DD is 14 months and I came back to work 4 days a week 2 months ago. I need to have a year between maternity leaves to get the company's package so we can start TTC end Nov. Taking folic acid and have about 5 weeks of pill left to take then away we go! Very impatient, I am sure you can distract me in the meantime....

Ha Angelico or should that be 'twinny'! Summer borns are clearly the most fun and life and soul of the classroom!!!
I've been beavering away at a budget plan for my finance obsessed hubby. Apparently nappies/baby toiletries/food etc comes to little over £100 a month. Very hard to work out as all advice is to buy stuff when it's on offer. Childcare is the bugger though. When I go back to work it'll be at the very least £550 a month. Ouch.
Told hubby and he looked at our budget planner, which says we have more than this left over each month after all bills etc. (We don't at the moment, but I didn't remind him of this, I will just spend less in the future) So he said "I guess we can afford a baby then." With no hint of the joy/happiness he was feeling inside. But hey, the budget planner is all powerful, so case closed. RESULT!
Still having the old "we're gonna have no life" conversations every now and then. I just keep reminding him that the longer we wait the harder it gets, and we'll REALLY have no money if we have to pay for IVF to have one... again, he has no alternative but to agree with this. I'm feeling incredibly smug clever right now!
I have no idea what colour I want - pink or blue will do!!!

Didnt take it back, brought it online. At the time I justified it as 'its spreading the cost' LOL. Mental.

EWCM! i have it! Yes! Literally all my fertility worries have gone. Yes :D:D aw happy days!

Buddhagirl congratulations on the EWCM! Now there's a weird thing to say to someone!

Oh I love my secret little baby gro. It's my symbol of hope! I know a lot of people say it's bad luck to buy things before the end of the first trimester but I try not to believe in all that superstitious stuff.

Excellent news Buddhagirl - congrats! Is this your first cycle off the pill? I was similarly excited when I got EWCM for the first time after coming off the pill. Still don't get a lot of it though so am hoping it will gradually increase as time goes on.

Amonstercooper I think your DH is probably better at anticipating the effect that a LO will have on his working at home than mine is, and I'm taking full advantage and hoping it stays that way. Obviously having a baby is going to massively change our lives anyway, and my working patterns as much as his but it will totally be worth it so don't want to encourage him to have cold feet again!

I don't think I would have the nerve to buy anything before actually conceiving, although I'm sure I wouldn't be able to resist once I was.

Thank-you for my mucus congratulations, he he. Yup this is 1st month off the patch. WHY did i decide I have never really had ewcm when ive been on contraception LITERALLY ALWAYS >:/ Sometimes I annoy myself.

Had the TTC conversation with DP again yesterday. Basically he is being the sensible one and said when we have a house and stable income and are married then we should try. Sounds sensible to me. However i've never been a good one with waiting .

Hope everyone is rattling along fine x

Hi everyone,

Well good news from me today, was at the shopping centre and saw a tiny wee baby in a majorly cute outfit and?. I felt broody! Woooo! Lol Not much but a twinge so that?s a start.

Its very weird for me on this thread, I guess I get a bit of perspective on how my DH must feel wanting a baby but I also understand very easily how all of your partners must feel on the issue!

Apologies in advance cause I?m really crap with words tonight, its been a long day? As I said before my husband has been desperate for a baby since we got married, its not that he nagged me it was just that he would mention babies all the time! He?s very into cars so would eye up little fancy baby car seats or he?d talk about what our baby would be like, it totally freaked me out! One day I snapped and had a massive go at him and told him how pressured it all made me feel! He listened and since then he has been very quiet on the baby issue. Reverse psychology maybe but since he?s been quiet I?ve been thinking about it more and more and have decided that it could be alright if we had a baby, we have room in our flat, I?ve looked at finances and it?d be tight but manageable? It is a possibility.

Anyway, what I?m blethering on about is? Maybe if you keep quiet and let your partners think bout babies they will want a baby quicker? I don?t wanna offend anyone and maybe my theory only works with me cause my broodiness kicked in, I don?t know if men really get broody! Ooh I hope Im making sense!!

Right enough about me!

Redrhumba Sorry about your DH?s granddad, he must be upset. Hope your cold is better, do twins not skip a generation or is that a myth??

Buddahgirl congrats that?s great you got it in your first month. I came off the pill in April and I think my cycle has finally settled down, didn?t realise how long it would take, I spend all month analysing symptoms and mood swings!

Hope everyone else is ok (and not offended by me) I will keep lurking, running away and sneaking back!!

Some news!
AF was surposed arrive on Monday, its now Thursday! Did a test in the afternoon and it was a bfn. I got one test left and I'm waiting till the morning.
Fingers crossed.
Lw