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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Waiting to try to conceive

839 replies

Amonstercooper · 14/10/2011 08:02

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

OP posts:
DichotoMous · 04/03/2012 22:18

I posted on this thread aaaaaages ago (might have even been the older thread!), and I am so glad to have somewhere to lurk!

Anyway, today DH and I were out shopping, and I spotted a cute set of teddy bear prints in frames...I pointed them out to him and jokingly asked if we should get them for our non existant nursery, expecting him to say no and change the subject, but he agreed!! Shock So today we made our first 'waiting to TTC' purchase (which is now sitting hidden on a top shelf in the spare room, in case any visitors see it, and get an idea).

Very exciting, even though we have decided not to start trying for a while, it's the first indication I've had that he's actively thinking about it.

PineCones · 05/03/2012 02:56

Hey Dicho congrats on the progress!
I have just calculated and according to my calculations the very first(est!) time I should be thinking of starting to TTC is 15 months hence.
A bit Sad

freckly12 · 05/03/2012 06:18

Ladies,

Havent been on in ages, Hello to all the newbies!!!

Well our (my) plan was to start ttc by end of this year.
However, hubbie still setting up the business and he stupidly agreed to accept a tiny miniscule wage as payment once its up and running!

So, on top of that, its all on me to keep paying for things as i have been for past 1.5years but now i dont see any chance of it improving with his now stupid fucking crappy small wage. assuming that the business gets off the ground to even make that money. Angry

Also, im beyond fed up at my job and have the chance to move to a better role, bit more cash ( increase the pathetic savings) etc. However, if i move, it wont be itl June, so then really, cant try for a baby in Dec as only in job 6 months and also we wont have the cash fro me to take 6 mths off work etc.

AGHHHH im so angry and upset and annoyued that once again, its me who has to give in on what i want to fit around him. Sad
Plus this is my deciison only and i know the move is good for my career but it puts my baby plans back at least 6 months minimum, hopefully aiming for summer of 2012 instead??

AGHH i just wanted to rant so sorry ladies but im so upset and feeling so shitty about life now. :(

CalamityLame · 05/03/2012 07:58

Wow, busy weekend on WTTC - hi everyone!

slowburner I really feel for you. Similar happened to a fried of ours about 18 months ago and I feel like it really opened my eyes to how dangerous childbirth can be. It wasn't something that had ever crossed my mind before then. Also - is there a chance that your current contract could be extended?

It seems as though there is just never a good time to start TTC! DH is really keen to start ASAP but I there is a little voice in the back of my mind going, 'you can't afford it! You can't afford it! Think of the financial responsibility of two children! You can't afford it!' etc etc. I just can't work out how we would manage.

I am going to ask my mum for advice, I think. She is a retired teacher and thinks that having siblings is really important, but also understate our financial situation. to be honest, I think I just want someone to tell me that it's all going to work itself out.

I'm so confused and have no idea what to do. I feel like a crazy person.

PineCones · 05/03/2012 09:49

freckly - looks like we're both on the same timeline roughly then.
I have decided to use this time constructively and lose weight, eat more healthy, and chart my cycle, so even though I have to wait, I am (hopefully!) increasing my chances.
(now if only I can muster the energy)

LtheWife · 05/03/2012 11:52

You rant away freckly. Setting up a business is always nerve wracking, but you never know, it might work out better than you think. DH set up his business this time last year, we fully expected for him to take a drop in pay, for there to be lots of quiet periods without work and for me to need a better job to pick up the slack. Who leaves a secure job to start a business when the economy is so shit and business are folding left right and center?

11 months on and I've hardly seen DH! He's been so busy that we're seriously looking into hiring staff and has managed to increase his personal income by around 30% compared to the well paid job he left to start the business! We haven't dared advertise yet because he can't take on extra work at the moment, we haven't even got a website up and running, but somehow he's already booked up until October!

During the early days the not knowing is horrible, especially when you're putting other plans on hold. But you never know, it could end up being the best thing your DH has ever done!

DichotoMous · 05/03/2012 17:47

Pines and Freckly - I think I am also on the same time scale. I have one more packet of pills to go, then off for a year or so to hopefully let my body settle down, want to do some work on the house too whilst we get the chance, oh yes and I will finish my MA in Summer 2013.......so still a long way off I guess but I have little goals to keep me motivated as time gets closer!

CalamityLame · 05/03/2012 18:54

Little goals is really helpful; my 'thing' is that I want to take up yoga again on saturday mornings. I did antenatal yoga when pg with DD and found it so calming - I need some more calm in my life before we bring another DC into the mix!

I had a chat with my mum, too, and it was amazing how much better I felt just for having someone else's perspective, rather than going round in circles in my head. I have sort of come to terms with the fact that I will have to give up work again for a couple of years, until DC2 is old enough to qualify for some free childcare, and then I can get back into work. Unfortunately, that will mean that most of my twenties will be taken up with being a SAHM and I'll be building a career from the bottom rung again in my thirties (I am 26 in Aug and gave up work when I was 22 to have DD - so, if I aim to have DC2 mid next year, the likelihood is that I will be off work until I am 31. I don't know how I feel about that, really. But it does help to see it all written down...

Sorry for ramble!

rolypolybird84 · 05/03/2012 20:52

Calamity - so sorry for the delay in the reply, I don't often get on the internet! Busy bee!

Thanks so much for the kind words and to be honest I agree with you and in my heart think we might be heading for some serious trouble. I don't think it's a coincidence that you're not the first person to ask me whether my DH treats me well.

I will try to get online to look at this thread more often - I'm supporting you all!

freckly12 · 08/03/2012 05:44

Thanks girlies,
LtheWife- thats fantastic about your hubbies business. Hope it is the same for mine.....

Well, i am slowly adjusting to the no baby situation but we have added stress at the moment. my hubbie had cancer 5 years ago, went for some annual check up 2 wks ago and now they think it might be back and in his liver.

Fucking terrified is not the word. Find out more results on sunday but god, the wait is awful.

So our world has literally stopped until Sunday.

Why do things have to be so damn hard! :(

Feeling v sorry for myself. sorry!

LtheWife · 08/03/2012 10:35

Oh freckly, I can only imagine how terrified you must be. I know they're super vigilant with the annual checks, here's hoping they're being over cautious and it turns out to be nothing to worry about. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for good news on Sunday.

HermioneE · 08/03/2012 23:23

hello, first time poster here...

I'm waiting to TTC. Getting over a bad attack of arthritis and have been on meds for about a year for that, just come off them. Still in pain though so I guess it'll be another few months while I wait to see if that clears up or if we'll be going ahead regardless.

The arthritis-imposed wait has left me really impatient though! DH is talking voluntarily about babies and we would probably be pregnant by now if it weren't for my stupid joints.

Best wishes to other TTC ladies esp freckly, you must be so stressed. hope your hubbie is ok.

PineCones · 09/03/2012 11:44

freckly sending you hugs.

pinkbuttons · 10/03/2012 09:52

Hi all,
I think your allowed to feel sorry for yourself freckly, hoping for the best for tomorrow.
Sounds like youve had a hard time of it too Hermione Its good that you have your DH's support though dor when u are able to start TTC.

After I posted last time and mentioned that I was going to get my final prescription for my contraceptive patch Ive had a minor health scare. Went to the Drs and they took my BP as always but it was really high, he then went on to check my other arm which was really low, s randomly found out I have quite a big difference in BP in both arms. Have had blood tests and an ECG and they have no idea what it is but have ruled out anything serious, so although has been a worry a bit relieved now. Means they only gave me 3 months though so will have to go back and may have to take tablets for my BP when TTC. Why can it never just be easy?! My DS was a bit of a surprise so had none of these worries before I was pregnant. This waiting to TTC malarkey is stressful!

Sorry for the rant, hope everyone else is ok x

DichotoMous · 11/03/2012 16:48

Thinking of you freckly x

PineCones · 11/03/2012 19:54

Freckly fingers crossed for you.

Tasmania · 11/03/2012 21:58

I've joined Mumsnet only recently - well before we're even TTC. I'm an avid planner - i.e. I like knowing what I'm getting into before being in a certain situation. So was just planning to soak up the knowledge here.

I'm 33, and will be 34 at the end of the year. DH and I have been together for nearly a decade now, but it has never been quite the right time for having kids. With DH's extensive stay in higher education (PhD), and the recession that followed... and various other things that came in the way, the timing has been pushed further and further into the future. A while ago, we've also decided that we won't even try for a baby, unless we could offer that child a childhood that is either the same or better than the one we had. Anything less than that would be so completely unfair, we thought back then. Though now, we're starting to come to terms with the fact that our children (should we have any) will never have the same things we had anyway. Both of us had stay-at-home mums, because a few decades ago, one good job per household was enough to pay the mortgage, bills, holidays, etc. In my case, there's the extra issue that I grew up on the continent, where everything continues to be cheaper, and some of my high school mates are SAHM's now, without suffering much financially green-eyed monster. That is just so difficult to achieve in the UK (DH is British), and I find it difficult to cope with the fact that I will never be able to do that.

But I'm not getting any younger, and we decided, we will TTC by the end of next year by which time which time we'll have paid off most of the debt. So we're aiming for a 2014 baby, though by then, I will be 35, and if we're lucky enough to have a baby quickly, we may try for another one soon after, before the biological clock inside me closes that window of opportunity forever. Aaaargh!

Are there any more ladies here who for some reason had to postpone having children late into their 30s for whatever reasons?

freckly12 · 12/03/2012 05:09

Hi Ladies,

Well good news- its not malignant! Thank god.

There are some v odd lesions on his liver but they arent malignant so thats really all we care about. So relieved, nearly threw myself on the doctor in sheer relief!

He has one more test to go but its nothing serious and the main thing is the cancer isnt back.
So much stress!

:(
THanks for all the wishes ladies,really appreciate it!
xxxxxx

PineCones · 12/03/2012 10:24

freckly that's brilliant news!!

PineCones · 12/03/2012 10:25

Blush Eek sorry I completely messed that up
Typing ion the phone. I meant that's brilliant news freckly !!!

HeavensNetIsWide · 12/03/2012 10:51

Oh freckly that is good news, sounds very anxiety inducing. I hope the other tests go ok.

Sounds like you're also having a tough time hermione. I don't have arthritis but know a few people with RA and they really struggle, hope things get settled for you soon.

I'm 28 tasmania and seriously feeling the clock ticking, although I know it's not really that old for TTC anymore. I'm also a planner and have been on here a while. We also ummed and ahhhed about things, but have come to the conclusion things will never be perfect, and you can ALWAYS say we'll have more money/be better able to cope etc etc next year, but have decided to just go for it, and enough will have to be enough.

So we are gearing up to start TTC at the beginning of April Grin I've booked to have my mirena removed but am now getting a little nervous of starting! It's silly, after all this waiting. But I've spent my whole life trying not to get pregnant, the thought of the first time DTD without contraception is bizarre Confused

Any other lurkers getting ready to start TTC anytime soon?

LtheWife · 12/03/2012 12:10

I'm so pleased its good news freckly! It's awful at the time, but comforting to know they do keep such a close eye on things. I hope the last test comes back with a good result too.

LottieLouH · 12/03/2012 12:31

Good news Freckly, hope the next round of tests go well.

I'm pleased you mentioned your nerves around TTC Heaven I thought I was weird as the thought of not taking any precautions seems strange after so many years of being terrified of an accident. I think this may be one of the reasons I'm happy to wait to TTC until May. DH keeps asking why we can't just start now but I'm remaining strong on the timing (ideally waiting for a couple of milestones such as a holiday and savings).

mrsbugsywugsy · 14/03/2012 22:30

hello,

first time poster here, but long time lurker.

I am studying part time (as well as a full time job) and the plan was to wait to TTC until I finish my course this autumn.

But I can't decide whether to TTC now (and risk still being studying while heavily pregnant), or wait till I finish the course. That's probably the sensible option but I will be 34 this summer and feel like time is no longer on my side, so now I'm starting to think we should just get started asap, in case we have any problems. Also, I have no patience at all and once I decide to do something I can't bear to wait.

I came off the pill a couple of months ago in preparation, and although not actively trying we are taking a fairly slapdash attitude to contraception. I guess part of me hopes we have an 'accident' so I don't have to decide.

sparkles281 · 18/03/2012 17:44

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.