Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

Hi ladies
Nice place you have here Amonstercooper
This is my first post on MN so please forgive me if I ramble!

I am 25 and have been married for nearly 2 years. I came off of the pill in April 2011 and had a very irregular MC for a few months and then in August it stopped altogether!
I went to my GP in November and was told that it could take up to a year to get back into a regular MC. I was crushed! We are SO ready to become parents and I feel as though I have let my DH down :(
My GP said that we would just have to wait and see but if I dont have my MC back after the year is up then they will start testing for hormone difissiencies etc in me and DH.

I am SO done with this whole waiting thing! I just want to get PG already! So many of my friends are either PG, having babies in the next couple of weeks or just had babies! It's so frustrating! I really want nothing more than to be happy for them but always in the back of my mind there's this little voice screaming "why does she deserve one and not me?!?" It's heartbreaking and it feels like its my own fault for wanting it so bad.

I know how you feel SpamMarie about watching all these different baby program's. It's torture but I constantly feel the need to watch them. It's so bad now that I have to watch them while DH is not around as he says he doesn't like watching me do it to myself.

I love him so much and I can't wait to give the family he deserves

Oh Sammy, thats so awful your period is all over the shop. Why aren't our brains and our bodies in tune!!

I am also the same- gushing over babies and the like, my dh hates it cos he knows we still have to wait til dec but i cant help myself... im an addict.
Hope your periods come back asap and behave themselves!

Im still waiting for my period to comeback after 13yrs on the pill. its v frustrating but i have time since we dont need to ttc til dec but still, dont like the idea my body isnt working right!

Welcome sammy. That must be so frustrating having irregular cycles. Are you still trying even though they're irregular, or waiting until they settle a bit? I have to admit I have no idea what my cycle will be like, I was on the pill from 17 and then a mirena for the last 8 years, so anything could happen.

I love the baby programs too. Have recorded last nights OBEM for tonight. DH also hates it! I don't find them too upsetting though, I'm much worse with friends pregnant. It feels like everyone I know is pregnant or with newborns just at the moment. 4 friends had their babies last weekend! I keep reminding myself that there is not a limit on the number of babies, they are not taking a potential one from me, helps keep me sane (ish)

Thanks ladies. It's so nice to know I'm not the only one going through this.

HeavensNetIsWide we are kind of trying. More like having fun and hoping for the best :)

Hello, I'm a newbie, can I join in? Waiting till May/June to start trying but fighting the urge to suggest to DH that we throw caution to the winds and get started. Haven't quite got my head round the idea that even though I've had blood tests and explained horrible family obstetric history and bought my folic acid it'll still be months before we begin. Feel like I'm waiting in some weird departure lounge at the airport, so it's nice not to be alone!

I have been on and off this thread. I am on the 3 month wait now. Looking forward to TTC in May/June too sylvan

Starting on the folic acid this month, was watching One Born Every Minute earlier looking that it might be me next year! Programmes like this are surprisingly helping to ease off the baby crack!

Baby crack has gotten very bad this month - babysitting cousins, picking a shortlist of baby names, lurking in the birthing threads, checking out maternity fashion - and I am not even TTC or pregnant yet!
this must be what insanity feels like!

I was just thinking on the subject of our TINY one bedroom flat and how we wouldn't have room for a baby. It has just occurred to me that if we put all our clothes in the hallway cupboard, and take the doors off our wardrobe, then a cot would easily fit in the wardrobe space... so theoretically we would just need to buy a washing machine and do a bit of DIY and we would be totally ready for a baby!

I'm great at bargain hunting and getting stuff for free, babies don't really cost anything at first do they?

still not sure DP would be up for it.... argggghhh!

Hi sylvan and welcome back redstrawberry

I found starting vits helped me feel a little more chilled about it but it all wore off after 2 weeks and I was going insane again. Am feeling more in control again the last few days because I started the second packet, think it's all to do with feeling like there's some progress.

wannabe a baby in the wardrobe? Why not?! Have you actually measured the space yet, that's when you know you're really losing it!

If ever I have a spare few minutes alone with the computer I always seem to find myself drifting to mothercare, babiesrus sites etc. I convince myself that its good to research and get an idea of the price of things so as to properly save but in reality I just cant help myself!!

My Aunt had a baby girl 2 weeks ago though, so when DH asks "I'm shopping for Lauren". Not sure how long I can keep him convinced though?!

Yep I did indeed get the tape measure out, and looked at the sizes of cots in the Argos catalogue... baby in a wardrobe! Makes me think of Harry Potter living under the stairs!

The really odd thing is that today DP started a conversation about how we should start a family soon as we are getting old, and he even mentioned how we could prob manage for a while with a cot in the bedroom. I'm pretty sure I didn't mention any of this stuff to him, so I reckon he must be telepathic!!!

It's a relief to find out that he is more up for it than I thought he was!

Hi havent posted here for a while but had an all time low this week and promised my OH that I would snap out of it (which clearly I haven't as I find myself here again) .
It all came to a head because I was shopping with a friend who is ttc at the moment .....whats wrong with that I hear you cry?.....Well I came home in the worste mood and ended up in floods of tears to my OH explaining how it wasn't fair that she could start ttc after a split second decision, and shes a lot younger than me , and she goes out drinking and all the time,and how she doesn't realise how much her life is gna change.... blah blah blah ....I'm embarassed when I think how horrendously jealous I sound and my OH thinks its awful how jealous I am too:(. God I can't stand myself being like it its totally out of character.
The thing is I totally agree with him but its hard to try and stop myself. I am incredibly happy I am qualifying in August and am currently applying for my dream job as a neonatal nurse once that is secured we are gonna move on from renting and buy our first house together. I finally won't be a student any more so we will have much more disposable income for holidays etc (hoping to go to nyc next xmas :o) So as you can see I have so much to look forward to ...and this time next year will totally be the right time for us to ttc....I just wish I could get it put of my head for now ........any tips ?

Oh nancy, i totally feel your pain.

I had a very similar melt down with my OH this time last year when a friend made a split deciison to have a child and it disgusted me how jealous i was.

it is normal to feel this way and you will 'snap' out of it so to speak. It just takes time to process alot of things.
Dont worry, you have lots to look forward to and it will be a great year for you.
What i did was i tried to not see that particular friend for a few weeks as i found it too upsetting, until i had a handle on my emotioins etc. Tough but that did help. Obviously,when u see her you will be jealous but try and think positviely, one year does go fast, esp with evertyhing you have planned!!

I am waiting til Dec to ttc and i know, it feels like its dragging already.
Though good news is my period FINALLY arrived after i came off the pill,so thats progress.

Big hug to you.xx

I'm with you too Nancy. I was waiting a while before I joined MN and found venting on here, or just reading other people venting makes me feel so much better, DH doesn't know the half of it! I've a few friends who just TTC with no planning, and got pg quickly and I just get overwhelmed with misery. I make myself feel better (a little anyway) by thinking of this as preparation, slef sacrific is what parenting is about, and I'm starting early!

Good things come to those who wait Nancy completely feel your pain. I had a few ups and downs with DH over Christmas and one of our friends announced she was pregnant with her second child. Her hubby is unemployed - looking for work, she is been off sick for over 2 months at her work (I guess she can't deal with morning sickness ) She has been drinking bottles of wine throughout the first few months of her pregnancy, ungratefully wants the gender to be a girl and claims she might get depressed if its a boy. She keeps dumping her first child on family to look after her. It's unfair people like her get to have a second child when they can barely look after the one they have.

Evening all!

Have been directed here following my thread - just looking for people to moan with! I already have DD (aged 2) (she was a 'fly by the seat of our pants' conception, desperately wanted but no planning) and we are trying to wait until december to TTC DC2.

Wannabe, we spent our first year with DD in a 1 bed flat, it was great! Way easier to clean than our 2 bed cottage, and far less arguments fromDH about my co sleeping - we didn't have a choice, she had to be in our room! Mind you, she is here now because DH has a rare night out, so DD and are taking up the 'big bed'!

Calamity You've made me feel better about my living arrangements. I've got a poky 2 bed flat and have been telling myself that we really should get a house before TTC. Unfortunately my hormones are winning the battle over my bank balance and I just don't think I can wait that long! So I'm now trying to convince myself that we'd be fine here with a little one for a couple of years. If you guys can do it in a 1 bed without killing their OHs then surely I can do this.:)

I think it's a perfectly natural thing to hope to have a bigger house and be debt-free, it's hard to even think about relaxing and getting on with ttc if you have anxiety about your home. The ticking of our biological clocks ought to be enough to worry about! it is awful to have to counter it with worries of how on earth you are going to house/clothe/feed the hypothetical child.

When we moved to this flat a few months ago, we moved in a car! We have hardly any furniture and what we do have is knackered second hand/broken/not baby-safe. And most of our stuff is still in boxes/bags/haphazard piles to trip over. I have a list as long as my arm of basic household stuff we need to acquire (such as a sofa, washing machine, shelf units, a BED... (this is not things that need replacing btw, this is things we don't have at all) Baby-related stuff right at the bottom the list. And debts come before material things.

I am glad to have a warm safe-ish home, but if DP so much as winks at me on a fertile day I reckon my pelvic floor would instinctively snap closed like a bear trap! I couldn't stand the thought of bringing a baby here the way it is now.

But, I would like to think we are ingenious enough to get our finances sorted out soon and get the place reasonably baby-proof on a budget! I can't wait to start hunting for bargains for baby from ebay/boot sales/friends!

Also, calamity and pickle, I'm now racking my brain for ways to make the most of our poky flat. I think 'zoning' of spaces for particular activities might work.

For example - bedroom reserved for sleeping in, and try to form a habit of evening sofa-nookie to keep the OH happy...

Pickle - 2 bedrooms? that is a palace! it was fine when it was just the three of us but visitors, unless they knew us v well, I kept to a minimum as it did feel a bit 'close'. My mum/sisters and our best friends didn't mind and had been coming over pre-baby so were used to it, but mummy friends + newborns, I kept to meeting at costa. Or went to their massive houses!

I found that the best thing was one of those wooden cube type storage boxes from ikea - about £15? Chuck all baby stuff in there at the end if the day, and you has grown up space! I agree with Wannabe that being financially sound (ie no debt, a bit of savings if you can) is far more important than a bigger flat/house. And you really don't need much for the baby once it cones along (and people give ou SO many clothes / toys!

Which is why I'm dragging my feet and and setting money goals before we can even start TTC DC2.

Has? Have! iPhone + train = mistakes

FFS just read my post back, what exactly is slef sacrific???

Hi calamity and welcome! Hi to all the lurkers too!

We're in a 2bed and DH was worried it was too small but has been persuaded otherwise (TTC #1 btw). Ikea do tons of cunning storage things, we will be making good use!

Hello All,
I?m a first time poster but I?ve been lurking for a little while so thought that it was time I said Hello. I?m 28 and DP is 32 and we are planning to TTC DC#1 after our wedding in August. I had a large benign cystic mass removed from my right ovary in 2009, luckily they were able to save the ovary but I?m not really sure what state it?s in.
I?ve just ordered Taking charge of your fertility and picked up a couple of bottles of folic acid (was buy one get second for 1p so couldn?t resist) and joined the gym which is across the road from Babies R us which I haven?t been in at all - Honest! So the plan is to be getting all healthy and ready to distract me from the fact that really I?m just waiting.

Hi Dawn, nice to hear from you.

I don't know much about fertility after having an op, but what would the procedure be to find out whether your ovary is ok? When we were TTC DD, DH was told by the GP that you have to have been TTC for 2 years before they will consider testing for fertility (DH was at GPs for something un-fertility related, and asked as an aside) - would it be a shorter time frame for you, given your situation?

You are being very proactive and committed!

Hi all,
Not been around for a while but have lurked from time to time.

Had a bit of a meltdown a couple of weeks ago and spent a few days in almost constant tears about how unfair it was of my DH making me wait when my biological clock is ticking so loudly. Then I realised I was due to ovulate any time soon and felt utterly foolish and annoyed that my hormones had so much control over me .

DH is glad that we've just come to the end of our first years trading with the business and is a lot more confident about finances now so that's one barrier down. He still wants us to have moved out of our 1 bed flat before we start trying but he wants to start house hunting as soon as london fashion week is out of the way so again, that's positive.

I also did some research a little while ago and priced up everything we would need to look after a baby for their first year of life. DH is a worst case scenario kind of guy so I went totally over board, included every little cost I could think of and priced up expensive "luxury" versions of everything whereas in reality we'd be more sensible. He was very pleasantly surprised when he realised just how affordable it would actually be. But you should have seen his face when I pointed out we could even afford twins!

So it's all progress, but I think it's still going to take my DH a while to go from the FOF club to being ready to start trying. I am buoyed up a little though by the fact he keeps on mentioning people he works with and their kids. That's a big step forward for him, when he says things like "I was talking to so and so about his kids today, it's amazing how his whole face lights up when he talks about them. They're his whole world." it certainly makes me feel more hopeful! I'm still itching to get started, I keep having to remind myself not to get disheartened and think about the practical things (like the fact I've got a holiday booked in October and getting pregnant before then wouldn't be good), but I feel like we're finally making some kind of progress.