Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

Hi Tron. I completely know what you mean about being in shock - something that was once so far from your conscious suddenly becomes centre-stage and you're like - what are YOU doing there?!

Without pushing you to go into detail you might not want to divulge, what was the thought process which led to you thinking Jan 2013 would be best work-wise? Was it purely that, or was that the hook that you hung all the other reservations on?

For example, I know when I finally have my 'talk ' with DP, for him its still going to be an abstract distant concept for him, so I imagine I will propose a future mark in the sand time-wise. Rather than 'sometime this/next year.' Even if that particular 'mark in the sand' isn't necessarily a deciding factor? Hope that makes sense!

Tronbear it seems that once people have one, they nearly always want another. If you allow 6 months to conceive each one and a bit of recovery time between the birth of DC1 and starting to TTC DC2, you'd be having the second baby about 3 years after starting to TTC DC1.

Tronbear, I've defiantly been there when I started to like children. I thought I was going mad!
The feelings for a child doesn't stop, it gets stronger. I happy for you that your DP is 100% with you.

Obsession, yep. Welcome to the mad house! Espally if you watch OBEM.I was looking at parenting books for my DP and we havn't set a date for ttc.
This is the best place to think about things to get in place, materity leave, what stuff to get, ect.

EW.

So great to read your responses. Thank you!

ViviPru I have been trying to work out my answer to your really good question about why 2013 would be best. It seems to be a combination of good practical reasons and rather whimsical ones.

I have an unusual job, it is also sort of a fixed-term contract, so although someone could come in to cover me for mat-leave, I would not gain the full advantage of the good and limited-time job I have. It also might (only possibly) mean missing out on a raise, and with the expense of a baby I would like to have all the financial stability I could. I am also invested in the project and loath to hand it over. Waiting until Jan 2013 fits in really well.

And then you are right, I hung everything else on that. The earliest that would work for my job ideally would be October/November TTC. But December is the earliest for the school year thing (which my DP cares about), and then I will have to travel long-haul at Christmas, so it becomes January.
Other silly things - we have travel plans to a developing country at Easter (so not good if pregnant). I think DP also likes the idea of a time to get his head round it all. Although if I pushed he would go for it now and there is no way he is thinking about the 'baby maths' as Awayinamangercooper pointed out!

So 2013 is logical. It might also be foolish, I keep looking at that graph of my declining fertility and the other one about the increasing risks. Cheery stuff!

I never was good at decisions...

Well all of that certainly does make a lot of sense. January's almost on its ay out anyway, so it'll be December before you know it :)

The declining fertility thing really is a nasty little stone in the shoe isn't it. No matter what way you look at things, its always there in niggling away in the background!

Hi ladies may I join?

I'm an old friend to some of the mners as dec 2010 I had a mc at 8 weeks on Xmas day I was devastated to say the least I found some lively ladies who without there support I couldn't have got through it ... Which leads me to where I am today after the mc my partner and I decided to get married first we decided on a beach wedding and that is now 9 weeks away !!! However due to the long haul flight I knew I couldn't fall to early then as time got closer I started doing the maths and terrified myself with thoughts of another mc in the run up to the wedding .... So in oct I came off the pill aiming to start ttc in jan but now I'm so scared to try despite being beyond broody and at 34 hearing the ever present clock!!! So here I am wttc until the wedding night which by a stroke of luck according to the m calculator I should be oving on the wedding night

Well that's basically me I hope you
'll have me on your thread and I will set to catching up and getting to know you all if that's ok x

Thanks freckly12 :)
And Awayinamangercooper we are getting married in May this year - not long now!
Oh, and my (younger) xp has just posted his dp's 12 week scan on fb - I said the obligatory congratulations, and I am happy for him, but it just makes me worry more that I won't be able to conceive....38 after all...(though dp is 29 - must have a penchant for younger men )

Well ladies, just want to say how proud i am of myself for not nagging the shit out of my husband about a baby for 3 wks now. So proud of myself.... Just need to make it til December..

Though i have been kinda psycho and am reading some baby books etc secretly on my kindle... think im entitled???

My waiting does make a lot of sense ViviPru, doesn't it. Dammit. How boring! Still would quite like to throw sense to the wind though.

Hello MumTumWanted. A beach wedding sounds very romantic. Hope you are able to relax and enjoy it.

FlysInDreams, the ex thing always stings doesn't it?

Grrrr ladies, still waiting for my damn period!!

THought i was ovulating but now my temps have gone back to the same temp as i thought ovulation time.... HUH

Not impressed.

:(

That's annoying freckly.

Talking about temping. My thermometer only records in centigrade and gives me a different reading if I take my temperature more than one time in a row? Is that weird? I think it might be a bit inaccurate and since it all seems to revolve around a couple of tenths of a degree, should I get a new one? (might have to anyway, as it currently won't work since I ran it under the tap!).

Tronbear, yeah its best to get one that is more accurate.

Mine sometimes shows a funny time, and ive recognised now that its not working right when it shows this. So i just do it again and it usually works!

Yeah if you want to temp for a while, id prob get a new one, they arent too expensive, i got mine from ebay!

Hi all, I've been lurking a while but this is my first post!

I've just turned 30 and am patiently waiting to ttc #1. I've never been the maternal type, I panic slightly when someone hands me a baby! But seeing friends and relatives with their sprogs has made me broody lately, bordering on obsession.

DH seems to be up for it and he has a good job, but I am yet to make any serious success with my home business, so the pressure's on me to help get us out of a few niggling debts and moved into a bigger place. We've just recently moved into a one bedroom flat, which we both really love but would eventually need somewhere a bit bigger. I'm so broody I've measured the main bedroom and and even the box room/closet to see if a cot will fit in here somewhere, but alas!

I have a vision of the near future, of being a WAHM to one DC (maybe more if we change our minds), and having a relaxed approach to parenthood, i.e. some earth mothery stuff and some modern convenience stuff no doubt.

Here's hoping I can achieve my vision soon!

Hello! I would like to also join please?

I have one dd who is 3 and my dh has been desperate for another dc for about 2 1/2 years! He took me out for a lovely dinner to have a chat about it in October last year (bribed by Michelin star food). I had already thought about it and as I'm a lazy mother quite tired I decided I would like to wait until May to start ttc. Lucky really as I had a very bad smear result and had to have some of my cervix removed in December, I want to get a clear smear before we start. The year before I had a benign tumour removed from my womb. I am quite scared that given my gynae problems since the birth of dd I might have some problems but at least I know if I get pregnant I will be under consultant care.

We are also taking DD To Florida for my 30th birthday at the end of April so I feel like that would be the perfect time to start. I'm not going to chart anything unless it starts to take a while and will try to just, erm, enjoy the process .

Is anyone else going to ttc around the same time as me?

Hello Strawberry,

Yeah its probably best to wait til you get the all clear from your smear, just to be on the safe side.

Im not quite that close to trying, im hoping for December.
Though last night, we were woken through the night, and then i could hear my neighbours baby crying. my DH said, whats that noise, is it hte dog, and promptly went to check if our little doggie was being murdered! lol. When he came back, with an alive dog, i said, no its the baby next door. he said, god how will i sleep once we have a baby if it cries alot. LOL
As much as it was a negative ish remark i was delighted that his thought process went to us and baby. So secretly, im delighted he is thinking these things! :)

Hello to all the new joiners...

Am just starting to dust myself off and prepare to say goodbye! Going to be starting in March, although will be away in February so not likely to be online much (unless our b&b/hotel has wifi )

Thanks to everyone that has been a fabulous support in those days when I've just wanted to burst, and good luck for the time it takes you to jump onto a TTC bus...

One day I may show my boyfriend this website and this thread, so he understands how I would have been much worse if he knew just how obsessed and broody I've been feeling this year and I hadn't had MN to vent my feelings!

Hi freckly, my dr told me to start ttc straight away but I think you're right, I would definitely rather have a clear test! Maybe you should talk to your dh about it again, you might both be thinking the same?

Hi stuck, good luck!!!

Freckly have you ever had to do a pregnancy test before? My worry is will we have saved enough for my serious obsession with peeing on a stick??? It's more addictive than chocolate.

Hey guys! I've realised I'm a terrible lurker, I keep up with the thread but am rubbish at posting

So hi to all the new people! I'm also beginning to gear up to start ttc'ing, have been taking vitamins since new year and going to get my coil removed at beginning of April (a month after stuckinthefens and just before you strawberrytallcake )

So I've been reading some of the ttc'ing threads, and wondered if any of you had thought about what 'style' of ttc'ing you wold use? I really don't want to get too obsessed with it all (although may be a bit late for that ) so am thinking I'm going to be a JSing sort of girl. How about the rest of you?

Hi Heavens, Ooh what is JSing? I'm going to be 'seeing' the dh whenever he is at home which I think he'll be quite happy with.

I've just started taking my vitamins and omega 3 and echinacea, I'm thinking of going for fortnightly massages, reflexology and possibly some acupuncture too just to keep me quite relaxed about it all.

Good luck Stuck - come back and tell us how you are getting on too.

Strawberry, no havent peed on a stick yet.... tho am obsessed with my temping! lol
Even though its all over the shop right now.

I am taking folic acid ( my gyni told me i should have taken it when on the pill -oops so am now taking it religiously). Im only just taking a multi vitamin.

Since we arent ttc yet im not doing anything else- besides my closet baby book reading and baby googling! lol

Good luck to those starting ttc

I'm still too scared myself and now things are snowballing with wedding prep so luckily I have had another obsession but that doesn't stop my obsessions and brooding!! Not helped by dh2b saying let's just go for it!!! Keep thinking next af due 25th feb we due to fly on 26th march may be a nice surprise wedding present to the dh2b if I fall straight away but then i get scared again

As for when we do start I'm going to try not to obsess but I did last time find the ovulation sticks really helpful temping for me really didn't work as I work shifts do couldn't be accurate

Ps freckly have images of you now hideing in closet reading baby books

hehe I'm with you on the baby googling! I haven't done much babysitting of small babies so I don't know much about them. I was a bit nervous to hold a relative's baby at Xmas time but when she started crying I instinctively picked her up and after a bit she went all quiet and cute and I realised I was sniffing her little head. It was like a switch going on in my brain, and can't stop thinking about babies since then!

We will prob be waiting for a year or more so all I am doing for physical prep is taking an everyday cheapo multivitamin and losing some weight by eating more wholefoods and exercising by getting outdoors more. Once I've dragged myself outdoors I feel energetic and enjoy a long hike. Although I see mums with cute babies in pushchairs and feel even more broody arrrrgh!

strawberry JSing is Just Shagging! Ie, none of the charting temping stuff. I known how obsessive I tend to get, and think charting would take over my life if I started! I also suspect DH wouldn't tolerate it, think it might make him jumpy. Whereas persuading him to donate sperm the traditional way will be easier

Dreadful crosspost, I read on my phone on the way to work, and posted on the way home without checking for new posts I'm trying not to read baby books, but baby googling is a killer! Hate the thought of tempting fate though, after all waiting so patiently we all deserve BFPs first time, surely!