Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

both of my children were "accidents" contraception failed both times apparently i only have to look at my dh to become pregnant (the implant had better work) so i've never really had the lets try for a baby convo but i would never be willing to settle for a man who wouldn't give me the world if he could

Wow Away didn't realise your situation... big hugs to you. It's so hard isn't it? baby I can see what you mean but it's more complicated than that. I'd been with my OH for 4 years and absolutely knew I wanted to marry him when he dropped the bombshell that he didn't want to get married. In my head I thought "well I'll leave and find someone that does" as that had been my philosophy with men - but there was no way I could have left him as I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Sometimes you have to be willing to compromise - no matter how heartbreaking - and hope against hope you get what you want. I explained to him how I felt and gave him time and space to think and it worked out for me. I'm also a big believer in visualising what you want and sending out good thoughts - especially when you're not feeling good yourself. What goes around comes around - I hope x

Just a quick update for you ladies.
I've just had my sister in floods of tears, her awful lady lady is blaming her for the awful damp in her flat.

I talked to my DP he is just not ready for a baby, and he is very affraid of passing on his OCD.

EW

Im so sorry EW , I hope he comes round.

I'm sooo tired of waiting just wanna start now,

i feel really bad for anyone in your position it must be awful i'm only 26 and already stressing about waiting too long for baby no 3 we have decided to wait till ds2 is a year from starting school so about 3 or 4 years, i'm not ready yet to have another baby i had such a difficult and painful labour with ds2 i'm not ready to do it again just yet but i definatly want another baby but don't want to leave it too long in case it's too late in 4 years ill be 30 yikes

Since so many of you ladies are off ttc in the new year I figured I'd better stop lurking and start chatting!

I'm 28, recently married and ever since I've been really really broody! So many of my friends, work colleagues are popping out sprogs.

DH and I had a few talks and he also really wants kids but we looked at finances and realised that we wouldn't be able to afford it for at least 12 months! I was completely gutted but I don't want to be on maternity leave worrying about money so I have resigned myself to it. :(

In the meantime I need help coping with baby crack urges!

Evilwater sorry to hear he still doesn't feel ready. I know what he means about the state of the world, it all seems very precarious at the moment. I think I may have left having DC to an age where I'm over cautious and worry too much. The cold war and the threat of nuclear anihilation didn't put my parents off having me, and that turned out ok so far.

As for passing on his OCD - is that hereditary? Does he have quite a severe case?

Thanks to everyone for all the big hugs. Christmas is by far the worst time IMO to be longing for a child but not able to have one. All the lovely family stuff makes you really yearn. As someone said up thread the thing to focus on is the "this time next year" when hopefully we'll all have bumps in our tummies or babies in our arms.

redstrawberry where did you go travelling to? Was it a long break?

nenehoo that's a heartening story! Are you married now or engaged? You've probably mentioned already up thread sorry if you have [lazy emoticon].
I am really hopeful that DH will come round in the end. He's a few years younger than me (31) and they do say women mature faster. Once his friends start having children hopefully it will change his perspective. There's no way you can leave when you love them, is there.

difficulttimes the last few days of waiting are the worst aren't they!

babyonbord cheeky - 30 isn't old! I very much doubt it would be too late. It's 35 that scares me. Ideally I'd have liked to have had two DC.

positivethoughts welcome to the thread!

It's funny isn't it how many peoples thoughts turn to babies as soon as the wedding is out of the way! I think it's hard wired into us.

It's a pain to have to to save up but it will all be worth it in the end, hopefully. If DH and I had gone ahead the first time I got the urge, we would've been in a lot of debt, with no money, and that would've meant that I would have had to go straight back to a job I hated and wouldn't have been able to spend any time with my baby.

In fairness to DH, out of the two of us it was him who had the timing right. In financial and practical terms, anyway. It remains to be seen whether we're still fertile... At least we'll have a big empty house.

I'm married! Have been for a year and a half! Had no real urge to have kids until then - and once I started getting the urge I didn't really want to bring it up as it had taken me so long to convince him to marry me [Sceptical]
But our parents had us quite late and seeing them getting older has made him realise that sometimes life's too short to hang around waiting til you're rich enough. My Dad also passed away when he was 33 - my brother and sister had slight wobbles when they reached that age, and I think this is what's happening to me - although I've got a couple of years yet

Also Away my Mum had me when she was 35 - no problems whatsoever and she's the best Mum in the world. 35 isn't always scary!

A 3 week trip to India at the beginning of the year, a 3 week trip to Japan mid-year and a week in New York in autumn. We decided to book them in small chunks over 12 months so we had something to look forward to throughout the year.

We have exhausted our holiday fund - it took us years to save up but it was worth every penny.

If anything, traveling helped me stay off the babycrack....
oh and 35 is just when things start to get interesting :) I hear women poppin them out at 40 with ease!

hello thinkingpositive

red travelling is a great idea to stay off the baby crack and in a couple of years when its all nappies and night feeds you've got fun stuff to look back on-India is awesome although I hated Delhi, seemed like everyone was trying to scam you but everywhere else was brilliant.

away Im also scared by 35 and hope to have popped a couple out by then as long as everything works! There seems to be so many articles about infertility that I get a bit freaked out , also some friend of ours are going down the ivf route which is heartbreaking for them as there first cycle failed.

nene you're right though my mum was 38 when she had me and I turned out alright!

red travelling is a great idea to stay off the baby crack and in a couple of years when its all nappies and night feeds you've got fun stuff to look back on-India is awesome although I hated Delhi, seemed like everyone was trying to scam you but everywhere else was brilliant.

away Im also scared by 35 and hope to have popped a couple out by then as long as everything works! There seems to be so many articles about infertility that I get a bit freaked out , also some friend of ours are going down the ivf route which is heartbreaking for them as there first cycle failed.

nene you're right though my mum was 38 when she had me and I turned out alright!

positivethoughts that was my plan as well - two by 35. Now, unless we have twins, it's not going to happen. Not for one of trying.

Hi everyone! So I've had a rather eventful weekend - went out Fri night, and woke up to find DH in the worst mood EVER. He'd had a really stressful Friday at work and long and short of it is that he thinks he could get made redundant in the new year. He's really down about it and my first thoughts were about our baby plans - is that awful of me? I didn't say anything as he was feeling so low and I didn't want to push things, and babies came up in general chit chat later on in the day. I think deep down I know it's a stupid idea to try and get pregnant if we know he might lose his job, but another part of me thinks that there will always be a reason not to start trying... tricky
Obviously it's a decision only we can make, but anyone have any thoughts on this?
On a happier note, my charting is going well, and my luteal phase seems to be over 10 days - had thought it'd be shorter than that. Hurrah!

Argh im off on my jollys tomoz , I start ttc at the end so cya on the other side!

And have a Good Christmas all!!!

nenehoo- sorry about your home sit. I hope all turns out well.

Well... I don't know where I'm at now! Original plan was to wait for my first period after coming off the injection.this was to ensure I didn't spend ages actually unable to conceive whilst ttc and worrying about having conceived whilst going all the boring no booze, no soft cheese etcetc thing.. But we got bored if waiting.......

awayinthe- im not sure about how bad it is as he is on medication.
I havnt done any research into wheather it can be passed on, but is dead beat dad has it, and his dead grandfather had it.

I'm so considering SWI. but children is something we should both agree on. Plus my sister has had the week from hell. oh well back to the madness!

Also mooncups rule!

EW

Thinkpostivethoughts- i know how it feels, im married 1.5 years, together 7 and im broody like a mad woman but hubbie quit his job literally just after we got married to set up his own company with promises it wouldnt take long, then we could have some babies. Needless to say, his company is still not set up and i still have no babies. Its beyond frustrating and upseting and depressing but i have squirreling away some savings as best i can. but he has agreed to try in 2012 regardless as i am the main earner etc and deadlines have been set for the company etc etc. I swear, i just cant wait, ive given him long enough, il go mad.

Its so hard to wait, i understand. Im holding on by the skin of teeth literally. Im off the pill in Jan, and starting to chart etc, and we will be careful so i can get my body back to normal after 13 yrs of the pill, but by June time, im not being careful, and fingers crossed it wont take too long..... Plus he is 4 years in remission from cancer so i also hope the chemo hasnt done any lasting damange to his swimmers- ugh, an ugly thought that pops into my mind the odd time.

I have my fingers crossed for you too hon

Hello everyone! Am new to all this, and I did go as far as writing a message on here the other day, but didn't post as I didn't think I 'belonged'...basically, the plan was to start trying in about April time due to finances and other boring-but-practical issues. However, DH and I married just over a month ago () and since then, DH, who was the main advocate of waiting, began to suggest that I lie with him for 20 minutes or so after sex, and would occasionally try to squeeze a pillow under my bum...! He maintains that we're not trying though, but "would be over the moon if we had an accident". It somehow left me feeling a little lost, though, as if he's denying where we are, but really, I guess I should be grateful that we're effectively trying!

Anyways, am posting now as I've been doing some maths this evening and it really would do us best to not fall pregnant until June so I'll be on full pay until at least March 2013. Thing is, I have mild PCOS and have quite irregular cycles, so it seems crazy to hold off when chances are it'll take 6 months or so to catch anyway...I just feel neither here nor there now. If we start trying properly (charting, etc) in June, but remain not preventing in the meantime, how do I stop thinking about getting pregnant?! And if we resume 'preventing', how do I stop feeling like it's a step backwards? I know am being a bit silly, but I just needed a little rant! sorry it's so long! Perhaps with so many ready to TTC and coming off the wait list, it'll fill the feed up a little!!
XxX

Another one saying adieu for Christmas TTCing... AF arrived a few days early this morning so guess it's day 1 of our first TTC cycle! Bit annoyed it came early as now I reckon I'll be ov-ing right over Christmas, not during that boring patch between Xmas and new year, so not sure how it'll work trying to DTD at DH's very noisy, chaotic aunt's & uncle's house over Xmas.,. On the other hand we became auntie and uncle to an as yet unnamed little girl on Monday, so that has given us a huge incentive, she needs a cousin ASAP!!

So anyway, I know I wasn't around much but thanks for the advice & tips! I have 30 OPK sticks and 15 cheapy pg tests ordered from amazon with our Christmas pressies... so think we're ready to go!! Not sure if I'll be doing the whole bus thing but hopefully I will see some of you around. Good luck all of you xxx

Hello ladies! Sorry to have dropped off the thread (my new job is exhausting!)

I wanted to say thanks to you all for being my sanity this year and wish you all a happy Christmas and lots of SWI or lovely BFPs in the new year!

Right you lovely lot, just for you I've created a new thread for all your TTC adventures.

Hello! Just checking in ladies! It's 'that time' -TTC time! We had our first SWI last night! I slapped a lot of pre-seed on with the result DH's winkle almost escaped at the crucial moment - moral of the story is you can have too much of a good thing. BTW I'm finding cheapie ovulation sticks (30 for a fiver on amazon) are just as effective as my bloody expensive CBFM - so you might want to try the cheapies first. Good luck girls!

ps: which board to we jump ship to?