Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

I was told one month after the jab. Mind you they may have been trying to placate me after a month of failed appointments

I've been rather bold :S

I've made a BFP dedicated thread for announcments as I thought it would be nice, Im worried it might bomb.

I month? really howcome?

Just a quick message to say goodbye & good luck to all those off to TTC. Please pop back to see us every now and then to let us know how you're getting on.
Looks like there will be no accidents for me this cycle. On CD40 now, no AF yet but plenty of signs that she's on her way.

Hope everyone is well.

How do you measure the whole cycle thing??//

I think I need a calendar

i had my ds2 in july my eldest is 2 and a half now we have agreed to wait 3 years to have baby no 3 dealing with a baby a 2 year old is hard enough for now i'm hoping to have my 3rd child at around the time my second starts school that would be nice but 3 years seems like a very long time :(

hi ladies
i know i haven't been a frequent poster but i have typed this 3 times but only just managing to post it, i didn't want to jinx things.

Dh has finally agreed to ttc for another baby, he's had some family things recently and i think as he's an only child he's realised what a difference a sibling makes at this age. we have discussed it so much but then just stopped talking about it so he could come to a clear decision and he has.

i can't believe how many others have decided to start ttc at this time, good luck to everyone and thanks for the gruffalo it must have worked!!!

I've only posted a few times but I'd like to express my thanks to everyone on this thread as it was a great comfort to not feeling like the only person feeling the way I did.

I had my coil removed today (ouch) and get married on Friday, our official starting TTC date. So goodbye and wish me luck xxx

I'm actually starting to think I'd rather not be TTC next month, come September all the maternity wards will be completely packed!

waitingforme I know what you mean. This thread is a massive comfort to me as well. I'm a bit worried about everyone leaving.

yay redrhumba thats fab news! Happy TTC to you :)
Good luck and happy SWI to everyone who is leaving the thread - hope to see you on a bus next year.

difficulttimes the only way I can keep track of my cycle is through an app on my iPhone called Period Tracker. It is very easy to use and since I have my whole life (almost!) stored on that little phone it's easy to keep track of it.

I am quite enjoying work lately, things are looking positive at work or it might just be the christmas spirit :) but its certainly helping. Busy week at work = less time spent on babycrack.

awayinamanager im still here - we shall be on that February bus soon... hang in there! Could I be nosy and ask why the 3 year wait? You have done really well.

oh fucksocks!!!

So, did the ovulation calculator again based off the fact that my period turned up early this month again, so i'm probably having slightly shorter cycles. It's basically saying if I get pregnant in December, i'll have a due date at the start of September, and as DS was 2 weeks early, there's a good chance we'd have an August baby afterall if I get pregnant now. So, compromise, try at Christmas, but that would be outside most fertile dates, so unlikely for this month. So boo sucks, looks like I'm hanging round here until the new year after all... pass the

yep LydiaWickham same for me - my cycle has suddenly got shorter so although I was toying with the idea of trying now, we have decided that after Xmas makes more sense. My DS was 2 wks late but sods law this one would be conceived straight away and arrive early!
Anyway at least we can partake in the mulled wine at Christmas...

I had a september baby lol I was already preg (but didnt know) at this stage.

Good Luck on Marriage & TTC Waiting!!!

redstrawberry the fact is DH doesn't want children. But I'm always planning towards one date or another for TTC, deluding myself that he'll give in. He refused to go to Relate after I booked it. His latest issue has been about us not having done any travelling, hence the USA trip next May. It is very unlikely that he will agree to TTC even after we bankrupt ourselves satisfying his wanderlust, but what can I do?

Leave him?

Sorry I dont want to be part of the leave him brigade, but you clearly want different things.

Did you sit down ad talk about children before you got married??

I don't want to leave him. Before we got married we agreed on no children. The babycrack only set in as we planned the wedding.

Oh right ok

The issue is he doesn't just say no (I admit I don't make it easy for him to just say no) he says "maybe" and "after the trip" and "later". Probably easier to say maybe than no.

I've been set to go on two occasions, we even got as far as DTD once. Three times we've been careless and I've taken the MAP at his request/insistence. Other times he's said he almost wishes we could have an accident, so we don't have to make The Decision.

Recently it's been all about the fact that we haven't travelled, but when I've tried to book anything first it was the wrong time of year to go, and then he couldn't get time off work. In the end I just booked it on my credit card.

If nothing changes come May, I don't know what the next step is. Counselling for me maybe. Or fostering?

I hate to be part of the leave him brigade as well but how much does he really love you if he's not willing to do everything in his power to make you happy, i know relationships are about compromise and sacrifice but no man should ever make a woman sacrifice having children for them. I know you agreed on no children before marriage but if he had a half a brain he would have realised that would change and you would want children it's a ntaural instinct. If i was in your shoes i'd sit him down tell him you are desperate for a baby and that if he doesn't want to provide you with one then you will happily find a better man who will. xx

either that or cut him off until he crumbles, it shouldn't take long

awayinamanger how old are you and your dh? is it something that he may change his mind about at some point when you have done the travelling he talks about. its difficult finding the right time cos there's always something that you could put ttc off for. we have a wedding abroad later next year and if we can't make it then thats that!

i never thought dh would change his mind about a dc2 cos he'd always said he only wanted 1 but i know he still quivers every so often (which is why i'm still checking you guys out!!)

wow - some pretty strong advice there...

Here are a couple of things that seem to have worked with my boyfriend - which may or may not be useful to try/adapt to your circumstances.

First, we had some frank discussions that there never is a perfect time - there will always be something to do, uncertainty regarding money/jobs, bad timing, so we really had to get to the 'true' reasons why he wanted to wait. Turned out it was the uncertainty of how everything will work out but the discussion made us realise that even in 2 or 5 years time there will still be uncertainty - it just might be a different sort and then we'd wait another x years for that to resolve itself but then there would be a different uncertainty again and so on...

Second, other male friends with young kids or pregnant wives/girlfriends - he asked a bit more than he would have done before and was surprised at how positive the experiences were. I think the fact they came from other men was way more powerful than anything I could have said.

good luck...

babyonboard I guess that works both ways, and received MN wisdom is that you're stuck with whatever agreement was reached before the wedding day. Even if I was prepared to leave him, which I'm not, it would be a massive gamble. I know far too many professional women in their thirties who are single and lonely.

redrhumba and stuckinthefens thanks for your advice. I'm just keeping my head down now till after the trip in May. By then I'll have been in my job long enough to get enhanced maternity pay, our investment bond will have matured so we can use it as the deposit on a house, and with a bit of luck DH will come round. I'll be 34 and a half by then, so he bloody better.

I agree about talking to other fathers, DH has had a few conversations with friend which have helped. I'm sure we'll get there in the end.

awayinamanger big hug... will keep my fingers crossed for you that he comes around. My DH and I were in a similar situation, we got married quite young. Now married for 7 years and we never talked about the B word (babies!) until 2 years back when I came off the pill.

2 years back I was ready to start a family but DH was not really ready. I gave him time to come around, even went traveling this year as it was something we both wanted to do. I think in the end I was running out of patience and we had a 'serious' chat about starting a family. It also helped that his cousin had a baby and seeing her made him realize what he wanted. he's fully on-board with the idea now.

Maybe it might be a scary thought for him and just needs reassurance...