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Original poster

Freak Out Room For Those Newly Diffed Up After MC Part IX

999 replies

LAF77 · 27/09/2011 08:52

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

  1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
  2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
  3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
  4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
  5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
  6. And the presence of symptoms.
  7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
  8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
  9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.
10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

OP posts:
Twittwooo · 05/12/2011 09:02

Thanks for the link Knitter, I will move over when I feel brave enough. Confu3ed - how far along are you now? Try not to worry too much about the sickness coming and going, it happened that way for me too. I know it's hard not to feel the worst, but if your boobs are still sore and you feel tired that's a good sign. I hope the next 2 days go quickly for you. x

confu3ed · 05/12/2011 10:45

Thanks Twittwoo. I am 8 weeks in a couple of days according to the last scan. I too am hoping that I can busy myself for 2 days, nOt too hard when I am in bed at 9!!! Oh and congratulations on your imminent graduation! X

broccolitrees · 05/12/2011 16:04

Hi, can I join you?
I have a 6 year old dd and am abut 7 weeks pregnant. We saw a strong heartbeat on Saturday but I have had several miscarriages in the past so am bricking it at the minute! I haven't had any spotting or bleeding this time but I have a really achey pre-menstrual back which is bothering me at the moment. I know this is probably just stretching and burrowing but it is a bit of a worry. Despite feeling sick and tired, and less anxious since the scan, I still feel like I can't be truly excited about this much longed for baby.

googietheegg · 06/12/2011 07:47

Morning All!!! How is everyone feeling on this chilly Tuesday?

I'm now 16 weeks and all seems to be going well, although I'm anxious to have a good scan at my next apt on Monday. It's so weird to just have to hope everything's going as it should between scans isn't it?

lime congratulations on your brilliant news!!

JezzaJ9 · 06/12/2011 14:14

Hi all, I got my scan date for 4th January so I decided to take the plunge and pay - the MW said as I had only had 2 MCs it was not enough for me to be seen any sooner. So I got an appointment yesterday and the dates, size all correct, with currently a really strong heartbeat, I know it can stop anything happening but it has put me at ease. As my breasts are not aching as much, so I was getting really worried as I cant really remeber now from the MCs and my pregnancy with my DS.

babyonbord · 06/12/2011 15:07

hi all i just came across this thread i have a close friend who has miscarried a few times and is pregnant now so fingers crossed, everyone seems to be worried about the lack of pregnancy symptoms i'd just like to add and maybe ease some minds that i've had 2 succsessful pgs (never had an mc) and i have never had any pregnancy symptoms not even sore boobs so if you are worrying because you don't feel sick or have poorly boobies don't it definatly doesn't mean a miscarriage is on the horizon.

confu3ed · 07/12/2011 11:42

Just a quick post as I am at work, will catch up properly later.
Had scan and everything was perfect, measuring 8-9 weeks with a strong heartbeat. I am so happy, my last 2 pregnancies didn't make it past 6 weeks so I feel like I may be ok this time! Panic stations now though as I need a 12 week scan in 3 weeks and not even registered with my midwife as didn't want to jinx it!
I really couldn't be happier right now :0)

Original poster
LAF77 · 07/12/2011 13:24

I'm so happy for you confu3ed , great news on your scan

OP posts:
babyonbord · 07/12/2011 13:25

congrats it is scary, i had a lot of bleeding during my second pg this year and had countless scans but everytime and was hospitalised at one point but everything was fine and i now have a very healthy very large 5 month old giggling at me from his bouncer, so don't worry in 7 months time you will have a little baby, the fun part is after your 20 week scan going on a massive shopping binge, that part i loved xx

Twittwooo · 08/12/2011 06:37

Great news confu3ed, that's brilliant. Your mind must be at rest slightly now, and 3 weeks to wait for your next scan isn't long. So happy for you!

Blackkat · 08/12/2011 08:21

from grads thread

confus3d so pleased to hear you had a good scan. I know 3 weeks will feel like a long time, take one day at a time and concentrate on the fact that a good scan at 8/9 weeks is hugely positive x x

Welcome to all the new ladies, this thread was a lifeline to me after my mc and difficult journey ttc.

Looking forward to seeing you graduate to the other thread when you're feeling ready.

babyonbord it's kind of you to share your experiences here. However, unless you've been through a miscarriage I dont really think you can understand the trepidation and anxiety a subsequent pregnancy brings. I had several significant bleeds in the early stages of this pregnancy ( I am currently overdue) and each time headed to epu with my overnight bag packed certain I would be staying in. Luckily that wasn't the case. However by 20 weeks I still want ready to set foot into a baby shop, nor consider buying anything. To imagine a baby at the end of the journey felt like tempting fate. I know that semtiment is shared by many other mums to be after a loss. I can still scarcely believe there will be a baby here soon, all being well.
I think what I am trying to say gently is that the ladies here won't be able to share your confidence about being pregnant bcs of what they've been through.

I am truly sorry to hear about your friends loss, if she or anyone you know needs support then they will truly find it here.

to hairy and to everyone else. Leaves salt and vinegar crips for those in the ms stage!

Blackkat · 08/12/2011 08:24

Apologies for typos, on phone so can't scroll back to amend. There's been a flurry of babies in the grads thread when you come to update your list!

KnitterNotTwitter · 08/12/2011 22:16

hey wonderful ladies

had our first midwives appointment today - the 16 week appointment.

All went really well - chatted for about half an hour then did the blood pressure and things like that - all fine :-) She listened for the heartbeat and found it quite quickly. The only slight negative is that we're planning for a homebirth and because DS was big (10lb 6oz) she has to get a consultants view on whether it's a good idea or not - fingers crossed they wouldn't rather we were in hospital...

welcome to broccolitrees lovely to have you here

con3used lovely scan news

babyonboard thanks for the reassurance

hugs to you all

KatAndKit · 09/12/2011 00:56

Hello knitter glad to hear your appointment went well. Hope you do manage to get the home birth you want after all.

KnitterNotTwitter · 10/12/2011 16:39

Thanks kit... 17 weeks today which feels almost unreal :-) Have poked my nose into the Grads and said hello to warn them I intend to be heading their way mid-Jan... Have also got a date for the consultants appointment when they will chat to us about whether it's safe/sensible to try for a home birth next time... Have a suspicion that they'll say the hospital would be best... but given the speed of DS I don't know if we'd make it!!

Twittwooo · 11/12/2011 01:32

Great news about your appointment Knitter. I also intend to join the grads thread in mid January. Is that when you have your next scan? I do hope you are able to get the home birth you want. x

KnitterNotTwitter · 11/12/2011 22:05

Hey twitt the next scan is the 17th of Jan, and then the consultants appointment is the 24th.... You?

Twittwooo · 12/12/2011 08:17

Knitter - I've not had my appointment through for my next scan yet, but I'm over 15 weeks now so it should be in January sometime. I have my next midwife appointment on the 22nd December. We must be pretty close with our dates I think - according to my 12 week scan my due date is 30th May, how about you?

LimeFlower · 12/12/2011 13:50

Hello,everybody,how's things? Sorry for neglecting you,wrote a bit on May thread and it seems to be silly to write the same here.

confu3ed the symptoms are on and off sometimes but it's hard to not to worry.6 weeks was also the milestone for me and very nervous time as the mc happened at this time.Congrats on your scan news,it's going to be fine :)

Knitter ouuuuuch for your DS Hmm Congrats on 17 weeks,I'll never catch up with you but I'm just a few days behind-will be 17 weeks on Thursday and my EDD is 25th of May.Hearing the heartbeat is fantastic,isn't it?I could have written your post at Grads thread,my first one was due in Oct 2010,now May 2012...

Knitter and Twit are you feeling any moves yet?I felt some "tickling" last week but wasn't sure whether it's the baby or lost fart Blush

I'm lurking to Grads either,thinking about joining after 20 week scan(which I still haven't got the date for) or after 24 weeks (another magic date).Should I warn them? :o

Heard my little monkey on my appointment last Thursday-trainee mw found it at 2nd attempt after warning "please don't panic if I can't find it".Heartbeat nice and strong,130/140 and a few noises identified as kicks.Blood pressure fine-always had a low one so hope it's not going to change.

To all newbies :hello and congrats on your BFP's,as you can see there's quite a few people here with the same fears.Don't be afraid to post,the reassurance even from internet strangers is very helpful!

chattynat · 12/12/2011 17:10

Evening all...
I've been searching the internet for a group of ladies whose only experience of pregnancy is loss (so come to the whole experience with the weight of the world on their shoulders), and who are hoping for better things from the future.
My husband and I have been trying for a baby for 16 months and I got my BFP on Saturday night (ad break in the X Factor, to be precise!). I'm obviously pleased but worried - I've lost two babies so far - the first in May at 8 weeks, and the second in September at 10 weeks. I am not entirely sure how I'd cope if I lost a third.
Given our history, the sonographer recommended last time that we come for an early scan (viability) around 6 weeks. I agree that the sooner you know (either way) the better, but I'm worried about the chances of going and not seeing a heartbeat because it's too early to see it (rather than because it isn't there). I'd almost rather wait longer to be sure that if there WAS a heartbeat, we would see it.
Have any of you had a scan at 6 weeks, and if so, how many of you were told to come back later because the baby was too young to find a heartbeat?
Would love to know your experiences. I am now 5 weeks pregnant, planning to go for this scan the weekend after next (so I'd be between 6 and 7 weeks).
Thanks in advance for the hand-holding. I completely relate to the checklist at the top of this threat, by the way!
xx

Twittwooo · 12/12/2011 17:21

Hi Lime, it's lovely to know that you heard the heartbeat! I'll be graduating sometime in January at around 20 weeks too hopefully, I haven't warned the ladies on the grads thread yet! I have felt something, but like you say I'm not sure it's anything really. I wouldn't describe it as tickling, fluttering or tapping really, which is what all the descriptions suggest, so it could just be my imagination!

Welcome chatty, sorry to hear about your previous losses but congratulations on your BFP! Everyone on here understands how you feel, and it is tough but try your best to stay positive. In my area they don't scan you before 8 weeks for the reasons you mention. I had an early scan at 8 weeks which showed a clear heartbeat and was reassuring.

There is lots of hand holding available on here, keep us posted on how your scan goes! x

KnitterNotTwitter · 12/12/2011 18:43

lime and twitt sounds like we'll be a possie heading over to Grads at a similar time - will be nice to make the journey with you both...

I've been feeling movement since about 8 weeks but I know that is freakishly early. It started with a sort of trapped butterfly feeling right down by my knicker line but is now a good wallop 2 or 3 times a day... Very reassuring. I can also feel the bean shifting around at night when I turn over from one side to the other in bed - bean does not like me lying on my back and I get grumpy vibes off him if I do :-)

I've felt all 5 of my pregnancies early - even the ectopic when I didn't know I was pregnant and couldn't work out what I was feeling :( or why I was feeling it where I was...

chattynat welcome - lovely to meet you. I've got my fingers crossed that it's third time lucky for you. As I've had an ectopic I have to have early scans to check it's in the right place. At about 6 weeks I've always seen a heart beat. As I understand it 6 weeks is one magic moment as that's when the heart starts beating in an organised fashion. 8 weeks is the next as that's when the placenta needs to get going - lots of pregnancies, including my third are lost at this stage if the placenta doesn't form properly or feed the baby properly. About 12 weeks is the next worry point as that's when other key organs really get going... If baby makes it past that point then the odds of a loss really fall.

As for me I'm on my fifth pregnancy with one DS who is now 3.5. We've been trying for no. 2 since he was one. For me it wasn't an option to stop trying. My fear of not having more children is greater than my fear of another loss. A child is hope and you have to have hope. But that said I suspect it is easier for me as I do have one child already and so I know that we can do it. We have been incredibly unlucky with our losses which have all been for different reasons.

Most health authorities will run a series of tests on you and your other half if you've had three losses and should you reach this stage (obv I hope you wont) then it is worth going through that process to see if they can rule anything out and help you if there is anything that can be treated/prevented. The tests weren't that awkward - two blood samples at specific points in my cycle and a DNA swab for each of us. It gave us great reassurance when they came back and said there was nothing systemically wrong - just that we were unlucky. We then fell pg with my current pregnancy the next month of trying - and now I'm at 17 weeks and (almost) starting to relax about everything!!

Velvetcu · 13/12/2011 03:36

twitt you don't need to warn the grads coz they lurk on this thread anyway!

Helloooo everyone Grin

LadyMaybe · 13/12/2011 09:15

Hi ladies,
sorry I've been missing in action - I've been keeping my head down waiting for my anomaly scan and trying to get some projects tied up before Christmas.
Scan was today, and went reasonably well although they've asked me to come back as the two (!) sonographers that tried weren't able to see absolutely everything they wanted to and missed something on the heart. Baby was very stubborn and refused to move into a suitable position and my placenta is on the front so I think they had to use some odd angles.
I'm feeling a bit deflated after the the scan - think it's a combination of being a bit exhausted, I was horribly sick last night and again this morning (nerves probably), and after the scan I got a bit of a bollocksing by the Ob for apparently having bad blood sugars and an enormous baby. Turns out they've decided to alter my due date and when I saw the measurements they're all in proportion and only just above the median line so not off the scale or even close to top of it. And my blood sugars are mostly within the target range so now just feeling a bit pissed off with it all. Which isn't exactly how I wanted to feel today.

Anyway, movements are fairly regular, as far as we saw, the baby is healthy and I'm going to carry on trying to stay positive and doing what needs to be done to have as healthy pregnancy as possible.

To all the new joiners, I wish you all a smooth journey. This is my 6th pregnancy, I have one DS and have lost 4, 3 of them in a row before this pregnancy. I was ready to give up and just be happy with DS and that thought was the one that kept me relatively sane through my mentalling. Just use whatever you can find to get through, sleep/read/listen to music/do crosswords/work/ignore it, everything is valid. This is such a hard thing to go through but with a bit of luck every one of us will get all the way to the end and hold our babies.

I'll be lurking still...good luck!

LimeFlower · 13/12/2011 14:11

Lady congrats on the scan,my first scan was the same-baby was moving so much that they couldn't get the measurements done.The good thing is you'll get more scans and more opportunities to see your little monkey.

hello chatty I'm sorry for your losses,hope it was a rotten luck and third time will be lucky for you.As for the list at the top-been there,done that,got the haddock:)

googie I'm sorry,but I missed your post somewhow Blush

googie knitter and twitt what are your EDD's because seems that all of us are pretty close(mine is 25th of May).We could do a sweepstake :)

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