Morning Ladies.
Sorry to keep you in suspense - and thanks for all the support this morning - my hands were shaking even taking the cellophane off the packet ...
Unfortunately this morning's result was a BFN. I was astounded - was so certain that the sheer amount of symptoms I have experienced meant my body couldn't be lying to me and I couldn't be making it up - if I squint, turn round 3 times and hold the stick at a certain angle, I can just about see a line, but that is probably an evap line. It was a Superdrug test (that ppl on the conception boards seem to recommend these days). All my others have been wasted - I even have 2 Clearblue Digi's that are out of date !!
However, despite the fact I can't remember if CD1 was Boxing Day or the day after, and I can't remember if I got OV pains on the Mon, Tues or Wed of the fortnight after, I still should have some AF signs by now and today would be 13 DPO at the very latest and there is nothing - no PMT (and it has been shocking for the last few months), sore boobs but not to normal timing / pattern. I normally have one red spot 2.5 days before AF arrives, then brown spotting for about 1.5 days - absolutely no sign and I have gone looking 
For over a week now, I've had intermittent cramps - was so bone tired last Sunday - a tiredness I remember from implantation in the past. Had red spotting that night. During the week I've been out and about in London and Wales for meetings and felt faint / dizzy at times and was repulsed by the smell of some people (and my own wee !) I have also been really congested / snuffly for a week - not ill though - and I have a mild case of thrush, which is a symptom I always get when pg and have had raging insomnia - pregnancy insomnia is unmistakable and always my first symptom.
What a headf*ck ! I'll wait and test again at the weekend I think if nothing arrives.
I had an MRI on the Friday before I ov'ed (for back issues) and the report notes a 2 cm ovarian cyst that is bleeding and multiple smaller cysts - wonder if that could cause this 
- although perhaps all they really saw were egg follicles ??
This could be another CP - that would explain the strong pregnancy symptoms this week - if they tail off now, either my body has decided not to fool me any more or it really was failed implantation
Or, it could simply be that, despite testing positive at 12DPO in the past, a test isn't going to show up positive for another few days.
Who knows (need a shrugging shoulders emoticon) What worries me more is how relieved I was that the fear of MC, fear of a bad CVS outcome, the worry of telling DP and the sheer terror at having to adjust my mindset and plans for life that I've just managed to reset after years of pain went away. I'm angry with myself for having the audacity to feel relief, when this is something I want so much.
Very confused on many levels at the moment. I go away for work tonight - not back till Friday PM and may not have time to post, but will let you know what happens at the weekend.