Emmsys over here! Come shake yer pom poms!!!

[VJay]

Here we are, it's getting chilly, the slanketsnare out. Were all here to support, laugh and cry with each other.

Oh gosh barbie how nasty for your dh glad he's ok though.
Boo to dh being against Ralph! :) you will have to go and pledge your list to the baby names forum and see what they have to say

MLS hope you got your nap...I always think I should be napping when ds is asleep but somehow eating cake and catching up on I'm a Celeb/Strictly/X Factor/any old tosh always wins!!

barbie yes, flights booked for mid feb but can't remember when. Think we might be flying out on the 11th and we are there for a week, so can definetly meet up, assuming that it isn't too close to the arrival of barbieboy. By the way, is Ken on your list ? No ?

mls in total agreement, a nap was the right way to go!

lbm I realised after that although a pj day would be lovely, it would just never happen, well not now but maybe in a few years time. Well done for sticking it out at a rugby match in mid-Novemeber, whilst feeling crap though.

barbie what relief your dh is ok. No one will call Ralph Rolf, where does he get these ideas from, or has he also read 'Forever' and doesnt wasnt to admit it

mls hope you had the nap.

Not much to report here, just plodding on, been a bit down, but getting there

Barbie Poor DH really hope he's OK and not too shaken up, how's your knee now after your fall? I agree with what some of the others have said, it is difficult when your heart is set on a name and the pg doesn't work out but life does go on and wouldn't it be lovely to see the name go on too, and how cute would it be if there were two Teddy's on our thread
lbm Hope your evening in by the burner makes you feel better soon
4ever Mixed feelings about the bfn is understandable, but I like having you as a cycle buddy Hope you felt better for getting things off your chest re the name choice etc, it probably did you the world of good to shout out about it much better than letting it eat away at you x

Day 26 today, and I'm going crazy had some one off spotting yesterday morning thought AF was arriving early but nothing since. (.)(.) have been throbbing and funny pains near my CS scar so tested yesterday BFN I really hate this ttc it drives you insane! So just waiting for AF now so I can start all over again

Forgot to put my name vote down!
I like Henry, Max and Teddy as my top three for Barbie boy oh and meant to say Barbie that E and I were watching early childrens tv yesterday and saw loads of ads for barbie dolls etc he kept calling them Boobie instead of Barbie = queue lots of giggles from me and DH we are such children
Vjay Why so down? Anything in particular? Anything we can help with?

Wow reading these posts makes me think i shouldn't of said anything think the outpourings of feelings is not so befitting this thread as it perhaps once was... Tis sad but feel that's why we've lost jools mermaid moon monkey et al, for not wanting to offload and make things awkward and uncomfortable...

4ever Please don't feel sad, I'm sure there wasn't one person on here who didn't empathise with you about the name choice. It is bound to be a sensitive subject as it holds such sentimentality for you and dh Don't let this stop you from posting or make you disappear from our lovely gang x

buddha is it not too early to test at day 26? It may happen yet
Thanks for the offer of help, I'm ok just struggling with both boys lately, sometimes wish I had family around, but now I've sorted play group out for Ajay I feel a lot happier

4ever this thread is always changing, it started out with us all having miscarriages and ttc our babes, now most of us have done this and a lot have moved on. Some have stayed for various reasons but all to offer support which is what I was trying to give you in my own clumsy way. I do understand why people leave especially those that haven't had their babes yet and now there is a second lot of babes coming that makes it especially hard. Stay strong my lovely xx

4ever, I really don't think we lost moon, mermaid, Jools and monkey due to them not being able to outpour their feelings, everyone of us on here would live to support them through whatever they have/ are going through and would be most sympathetic. I think especially for moon and Jools the thread moved much too quick for them and they felt left behind due to not having a baby as yet. I for one think of them often and I'm sure that moon will come back once she gets a bfp so we can support her through her pregnancy.
As for monkey, I know real life did truly take over, that and going through tough ivf treatments left her little time to catch up much. I know she is getting support from a few of us here.
Mermaid? Well, I'm not too sure. Could be list gate but I think she felt she had gone as far as she could on this thread. So knows.

I would hate to think you thought this thread was lacking in empathy, far from it. I have personally supported everyone through over 23 mc on this thread since I joined way back when.....

Vjay is right, this thread evolves and moves so fast. One time there were no new babies and now it's round two. Unfortunately for some they are still waiting for fond one to happen or a bfp to join the new batch. However we are there for each other whatever the stage...winge, cry, laugh, giggle....this thread has it all.

Vjay, glad you are feeling more positive now you have sorted out play school. I m panicking slightly thinking bout having two and zero family around. We are adding an extra afternoon to dollys day care so she will go three times a week from after Christmas. If we stay here we are thinking of a part time maid, to take the hassle of housework, shopping etc off me.

Lbm, by the 11th of feb I could have a week old son will have to arrange something closer to the time...

Cupcake you are a darling x

Dh is fine, his car however is not. He said he was more angry at the local lady who hit him having two young kids in the car who weren't belted up. Seatbelts here are deemed an inconvience for the little darlings they both flew off the back seat and hit the seats in front...mother wasn't at all concerned!!!!

Right nursery drop off, back later xxx

I know what I want to say but can't put it into words very well so will do a Vjay and do a "clumsy" attempt
I agree with Vjay and Barbie this thread has evolved since it's birth as our lives have and we have all been there for one another regardless of what stage we are at. I have to say I agree with Barbie that I don't think that we've lost some of our posters due to them not being able to offload and I really hope 4ever that you are not feeling that you can't do that anymore I have been upset by things that are sometimes said or "ignored" before but it's like texting it's very hard to interpret sometimes what someone is meaning or is trying to say and I know that there is not one person on our thread who has a malicious bone in their body as far as we are all concerned.

On a happier note I would like to send a proper Christmas card to you all, but will understand if you don't want to disclose your addresses, if you do please can you send me a private message so I can post them off shortly? Won't be offended if you don't
Barbie at children with no seatbelts!!
Vjay Glad to hear you're feeling a little happier, good idea to balance out your time by getting Ajay into a play group. Also I did test on day 26 when pg with E and got a very strong +ve will try and resist anymore testing until I'm actually late now

Good morning ladies :)
This discussion of the bittersweetness of our thread does seem to come round every couple of months doesn't it :)
4ever you know you (and everyone) are free to offload at any time and as barbie says we will all be there to support each other. I know things have been really shit for you recently (and hey I don't even use that word, but sometimes it is just the only word that will do) so offload all you want. I hope you don't think any of us have been insensitive because I think everyone is trying v hard to be supportive even if it doesn't come out that way.

Vjay sorry to hear you've been feeling down..the rubbish weather doesn't help all that either does it. To cheer you up, only 9 more sleeps until it is December and we can crack out the Christmas playlists...I have some corkers on mine I can't wait to have a listen!! Will you be going to see Arthur Christmas with Cjay?

buddha sorry about the bfn :( but I agree it could def be too early so don't give up hope! But if not, then some lovely bfps for you and 4ever in the new year are on order

barbie fab idea about a maid!!

Firstly must say that this thread has been my absolute lifeline since i discovered it that sept '08 after my 3rd miscarriage, and the support and friends made along the way has been incredible, please noone ever doubt my gratitude for that... Vjay summed it up (in your usual lovely, not at all clumsy way) that we've all moved on, and thankfully the miscarriages that initially brought us together, are now some years back for most and the painful memories are packed tightly away in our heads, thankfully a lot of us went onto have our babies and our journeys progressed together, which has been truly wonderful, but heartbreaking for those that haven't yet, like monkey, moon, jools and mermaid.. I do feel therefore that it can be quite painful for them to continue reading our progressions, when wanting it for themselves so desperately, and therefore feel its not so easy, or appropriate to talk about how hard they find it, the bump envy, the sadness, without feeling its almost slightly inappropriate when everyone else has moved onto happier things... There is no doubt of the level of care we all feel for each other, and of sympathy and understanding, but that's what i meant by saying that's one of the reasons they all had to step away...

So, in the same vein, I'm now in a bit of a wierd place myself on here, whereas id forever gratefully, happily progressed with you all and had my ultimate joy of Summer, I've now found myself back in that wierd post miscarriage aftermath, with tinges of bump envy and moments of 'what might have been sadness' yet this thread has moved on massively since we were all in that boat together, and sometimes i feel my being too honest about how i feel, isn't appropriate or fair to others... So, i often find myself putting on a brave face and making smalltalk, and watching what i say a bit, but sometimes i lurk and it can be painful reading.. I don't want to upset anyone by feeling the support I've received is not appreciated, cos it really is, and the way you all rallied round me in July when we lost the last baby, meant the world, ill never forget who helped me through.. I don't want anyone to feel defensive of their level of care or sympathy, that's not doubted... Its just that I'm now a bit in limbo, i progressed with you, but have been taken back to a place no one else on here has been in for a long time, so I'm finding it a bit hard knowing how to fit back in and just sort of watching from the outskirts a bit awkwardly....

Just to add, that in RL Summer and DH absolutely complete me, and I'm actually in a really really good happy place, we have our ttc plan and I'm very happy and so grateful for Summer that I'm very pragmatic about things, i count my blessings daily... Please don't take this wrong, but its only when i occasionly lurk on here that the feelings above culminate, and what has always previously been my therapy, becomes something that brings me down... I can't tear myself away, and owe you all too much, you all mean the world to me, but that is how it is at the moment....

4ever I Always admire your honesty and openness. Your pain is still raw and are the only emmsy who has had a recent mc with no new bump to replace the sadness It must be hard to read the pg chat when you should be right up the middle of it. I know you are always genuinely happy for evey

Stupid phone...

Happy for everyone and have been a c

Gah! My thumbs are too big..

You have been a constant source of support and advice and I always feel I could meet you in costa and have a good old blether!

I've not been on much myself as sometimes feel a little irrelevant now my ttc and pg days are over but my heart has been heavy for other reasons so I continue to lurk and pOst when up to it.

So 4ever I won't be flippant and say your bfp is round the corner but know we are here to listen up to that day and beyond

Hey everyone else x

Hi all. Been lurking and sorry to see it's been so emotional on here.

4ever I feel for you. I really do - and for Monkey who has also had a recent miscarriage. Mentally my miscarriage almost destroyed me and I have tremendous admiration for you (both) as you've dealt with far worse than me.
I think it's true to say that there are times on here when we've all felt disconnected for whatever reason (I know I have because I'm not ttc) but we were a group of strangers brought together by a common pain and, while we may not always get it right for one another, the true sentiment is always there. It's not always easy to try to walk in another woman's shoes after all. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's ok not to cope and to think the world is shit for never letting you walk the easy path. It's also difficult to understand tone in writing so there will be times when we all type something that is misunderstood by others. Anyway, I could wax lyrical to you all day but it all comes down to this: There is no right or wrong way to grieve and I'm certain you'll have another when He decides.

LBM apologies. Thanks so much for all the Xmas suggestions. They have been noted I bought some craft stuff from Wilkinson's, a book of Christmas posters to colour in, We're making snowman place settings, shortbread and mince pies to give as gifts and gift tags and Xmas cards. There are 60 days in December, right? I hope BB and her mummy are on the mend.

Buddha Keeping my fingers crossed that the negative becomes positive. How are you doing, health wise?

MLS I'm still laughing at your gift tags. Control freak! Hope you're starting to bloom by now.

Cupcake I keep forgetting you're pregnant! How many weeks are you now? Do you have a flavour in mind? I'm very impressed that you make all your Christmas cards. I'd have to start on December 26th to do mine as we send too so many but have finished writing them. Yay! Won't be long til we're co-ordinating a Love Actually night.

Vjaytheyuppy Glad to hear you've sorted Ajay into playgroup. Bet you're both ready for it - and some mornings you'll MN instead of studying - and it'll help keep you sane. When should I marzipan my cake?

Blue SOooooooooooooo looking forward to next week. Fingers crossed H behaves. There's a tiny place space in St Enoch's and i think there's one in Buchanan Galleries but we were in Glasgow on Sunday and H was really happy to run around on Princes Square so it may be our best bet to tire them out!

Barbie Your DH is a spoilsport re names! I chuckled muchly at Vjay suggesting he was a closet Forever reader! I think you can't name babies til you see them (and often men are so in awe at what we've done that we get our own way- again! ) Glad to hear Dolly is napping well and you're napping too. Enjoy it while you can.

Curly Belated yay to a healthy scan and sorry to hear you are feeling so yuck. Hope it passes quickly.

Ok, Dh has just came home so I'm going to go. Apologies to anyone I've missed. Take care all.

Blue and Neeko you are such darlings. thank you so much for understanding and not making me feel unreasonable or bad for blurting all that stuff out..... Its not so isolating to hear you both talk of feeling disconnected, or irrelevant too, and that I'm not just being paranoid or oversensitive due to my situation, that even you two, who I see as absolute stalwarts of this thread can feel like that too

Your words really mean a lot, thank you again......

Blue I'm sad and sorry to hear you have a heavy heart recently and have been missing your posts, I'm here for you like you've been here for me..

Hello fabulous blue, as if you could ever become irrelevant!

Hi Neeko glad you're both still around somewhere...have a fab meetup I'm I forget I'm pregnant too though I am starting to feel movements now so won't be able to forget soon! 15 weeks today by my dates.

4ever glad you're feeling bit better. I think we've all felt a bit disconnected at times for different reasons but it says a lot that we're all (mostly) still here a few years down the line :)

barbie lol at Rolf

We had a bit of a scare last night and had to take ds for his first trip to a&e...he fell into the sofa and split the skin open next to his eye- there was so much blood it was unreal, all over carpets, walls and both of us stopped quite quickly though and thankfully he didn't need stitches. He has been such a brave boy though will have to buy him a treat today I think! Thank God SIL was here at the time and kept me calm (and went round cleaning up all the blood!!) Just horrible seeing all that blood but so glad it wasn't more serious

Oh poop! cupcake you poor thing, poor little man too. You sound liked you coped fine, and much better than I would of done! Thank god for not needing stitches. Must be a boy thing, my BFF also had the same thing happen to her little boy. Are they really much more prone to trips to the er room than girls? I guess time will tell!

Dolly isn't in my good books, although to be honest i think she might be teething or something so I can't blame her really. She was up at 11pm and wouldnt go back to sleep untl 3am this morning, that was with her in bed with us and her talking to us, slapping dh and moaning loudly that she had an 'ow ey... She kept swallowing loads, a bit like when she was sick. No idea what is up but I have a feeling it's her teeth.

I need to sleep!

Blue, hate to think something in rl is making you unhappy? You are normally so bouncy and happy. I hope you feel back to normal soon and whatever is bothering you is resolved quickly. Miss you x

What is arthur Christmas????

barbie it's a film out at the cinema just now, I don't know too much about it sorry.

cupcake glad wee man is ok, it's scary when you see so much blood you wonder where it's all come from!

I'm not taking cjay to see Arthur Christmas but I have just got both of them the ice age Christmas DVD so we will watch that later

neeko I used to marzipan my cake a few days before I iced it, so about a week before Christmas, alas there will be no marzipan this year.

Hi blue enjoy your meetup with neeks I wish I wasn't so bloomin far oop north.

I've been told it will snow this weekend, it was this time last year that it all started, I've got my grit and shovel ready.

Barbie How was last night with Dolly? Any better?
Neeko Health wise for me? Back still crap and restricting so much of what I can do, I've lost a little weight but will crack on with that in the New Year, hopefully due to m/s

AF one day late 4 x BFN's (not that I've been poas obsessively)
Just want the evil witch to drop in so I can start anew now!!

Hope everyone else is well??

Hello Buddha my cycle buddy .... With you on the wierd af, had 2/3 days of spotting/v light bleeding, so much so was gonna do a 3rd(!) test today but its finally kicked in properly now! Dontcha worry girl, me & you in the new yr, lets enjoy Christmas with plenty of pink bubbly, mulled wine and brandy cream - yum yum!

4ever Mmmm brandy cream I'm feeling so evil today hormones are swinging between crying if a leaf falls off a tree or wanting to rip everyones heads off! So af better appear soon or I'll be trying to access MN from prison