Assisted Conception (and all the bits in between) volume 8

[lucylookout]

Looks like we need a new thread for Italian, Scrummy, Beginnings, womanly, lissy, rowing, fretfree, Teds77, keziah, frustrated and anyone else who wants to chat about assisted conception!

pocket will be thinking of you tomorrow how exciting to see the little fella and heartbeat. I know what you mean desperately excited can't wait and also really nervous. You will be fine we are all rooting fro you. Hugs
chutney adn lucy good luck for Friday (lucy) you will be aquiring a little photo album.
To everyone else good luck with treatment.
italian I love the biggest looser unfortunately dh doesnot and too much xmas chocolates still in the house. However he did get me biggest looser for the WII do not know when I can use it. care say only gentle exercise!! haa haa lying on the settee in the evening. feb will come very quickly.

Sunnyg your post made me almost cry too, what a bunch we are. So glad all is going ahead. As the donor you get to hear what happens with your recipient and that will be lovely, you will know how it goes and you will have given them that chance.

Pocket thanks for your kind words.

Lucy good luck for your scan Friday. I hope it all goes well.
Hugs to you all.

I am booked in for the consultation, yippee, sad person that I am, I am relieved! It is before consultation so there is slim chance might even get procedure before final fertility consultation, but I guess not likely!

Just a quick hello from me

Feeling a bit down, argued with DH the other day about this whole TTCing bollox. He says I'm stressing too much and everything I do and say is about getting pg. He's right of course, but he doesn't understand how it feels to be so out of control and worried it'll never happen etc etc. He says he's worried we're falling apart, as am I. We never have fun anymore. We have virtually no sex life and I want to get it back, but he reckons the only reason I want a sex life is to get pg but that's not true, I just want a better sex life. He says sex is boring. He thinks we can get pg naturally but that I want to rush IVF just so I can get pg, but after 19 months of TTCing I honestly don't be.ieve we can get pg naturally so of course I want to move onto the next step, which might actually result in a baby. He also says I'm so hung up on getting pg he thinks he's not enough for me. Which is sad but true. I love him to bits and don't ever want us to break up but he can't provide everything I need and we've been together 8 years and just the two of us is getting boring and I'm lonely.

Anyway, we've made up but it's just a matter of time before the arguing starts again We're away this weekend (though AF is due) so hopefully we can forget about TTCing for a couple of days and have some fun.

Quicky from me.

Scan was ok but not great. Little fella is really little, 4mm should be 8mm at 7.5 weeks. Too small for heartbeat. Rescan next weds.

Dear Lucy sending you lots of positive vibes for tomorrows scan. go jeanie go

chutney hope you're apointment goes well tomorrow and that you get some positive news to move forward with.

Will be thinking if you both.

Love to everyone

Oh pocket darling not the kind of scan we all hoped for you. Let's hope its more positive news next week. Please try and not worry yourself silly between now and then (i know, I know). grow little fella grow hope you and DH can come up with something nice for the weekend to take your mind of it a bit.

Same goes for Josie. looking after your relationship can be so hard, especially during TTC. This is one of the most challenging things you will both have to go through so be kind to each other and try and remember that it is because you have that love for each other that you will want to have a baby in the first place. Try and find fun things to do together and separately so life isn't just about TTC. Maybe make a date that allows you to talk about TTC once a week, say on a Wednesday evenings and then just come and chat with us for the rest of the week?

Lucy good luck with your scan tomorrow. go jeanie go

chutney I too wish you and DH the best of luck for tomorrow.

Waves and chocolate to you all

pocket how stressful for you. With DS I went for an early scan due to severe pain and spotting, scan proved was not ectopic which was my fear but also really tiny and no heart beat, next scan later bingo all fine that was at about the same weeks. So Here is really sending good growing vibes to Little Fella and hoping all is well. How do they calculate the dates is it 7.5 weeks since egg collection, ET or 2 weeks before egg collection? try and sleep well

Dear lucy more and more positive vibes for jeanie
chutney echo what pocket says good luck for the appointment

josie So sorry to hear things are a bit tough with DH this ttc often puts pressure on the one place you do not need it. Hopefully you can have a good weekend away. Remember how much pressure he is under as well. Remember how much he means to you and that he is the one you want to be the father of your much longed for LO. I think it is really hard for us women to switch off but maybe a month off would be good for your relationship. Just to let you know hope for a miracle our ds was. told we needed ICSI, went for appt with cons I thought I was about to come on but it was ds!!! had not even realised I was late as had managed to switch off as knew we needed ICSI. I realy think removing the stress from us resulted in BFP.

Hugs to all have having a bit of a wobble as boobs all soft again no nausea today but was quite bad 2 days before. I know I know symptoms fluctuate.

Pocket I'm sorry the scan didn't go as well as you'd have liked, but even though there are statistics and growth charts etc etc, sometime beans just like to do things at their own pace, and with any luck little fella will have caught up by next week. It was around the time that I had a scan when Jeanie was smaller than it should have been, that I decided to name the bean (I'll probably sound like a loon, but I believe we all do these kind of things.) The bean having a name gave it more of an identity, and in bed, before going to sleep I would put my hands on my belly and talk to it, urging it to grow. It's hard to know in practical terms what you can do to help, but for me, this felt like I was helping it along a little. Thinking of you lots.

Bugsy, they really, really do come and go, especially at the beginning. With this preg, mine were on and off at the beginning, then full on for a few weeks, and now they're back to being on and off again. Really try to not get in a tizz about it. Not long til your scan now is it x

Josie I second the others. TTC takes its toll on a relationship, and sex is not the simple pleasure it was once, as it becomes so fraught with pressure, expectations, routine etc. Just be aware that you and DH are going through a hard time because of the TTC and try to take it easy with each other. And definitely come on here to talk about it if you think DH has had enough of talking about it. It's not that he cares less, men just do cope differently.

Thanks for the well wishes about the scan. I really do appreciate it and it truly feels like I have a team of cheerleaders behind the scenes cheering us on. Will let you know how it goes

Pocket I am sorry it was not all you hoped but I really have faith Little Fella will be getting on in there. I am not sure what to recomend other than not stressing and a good diet. Lots of rest and peace and maybe a bit of chocolate too!

Josie so sorry to hear this about you and DH but it is normal!

My advice (take it or leave it - but I have been there myself) is to try hard to not talk about TTC with hubby (except when you need to make important decisions etc) for a short while. If you just need to chat or vent, then talk to us, talk to female friends you trust or find a whole host of websites and make new friends (like fertility friends) but don't forget us.

Put on your sexiest outfit, whatever that is, and just have some fun, maybe fooling around will remind you that it is fun with your DH. Believe me I am not sex kitten but even I can play up a bit if the need requires it!

Make him feel special, cook something nice and go somewhere nice, talk about normal things, maybe inside you will be wild to talk about babies but keep a lid on it just for a bit. It does not mean anything bad - it just means MAYBE he can't handle it all as well as you and he is not as interested in it all as you.

If he says you just want sex for a baby then maybe find a way to fool around a bit without sex, make him beg you! Just put the fun in and if he does discuss about assisted conception just be a BIT light hearted and say something like, ?Well lets go to the next appointment/make an appointment and just see what they say, it doesn't have to rule our lives and maybe before the appointment comes round we will have one naturally, but if not maybe some help would be good!? Feel free to vary the script! Then change the subject if it looks like an argument is brewing!

Anyway, I am no expert but DH and I have been there and at the end of the day SOME men can't think about it too much and even if they want a baby they harbour (I think) a bit of fear the lady is using them as a stud! Although this idea may appeal in one way in another it does not! So they need to feel they are special and that they still mean as much to you and you do not just see them as a means to an end!

It's silly really but it seems to come up and people say it so I know it is not just my hubby! He is cool about it now and I try and keep a lid on it and not talk too much. When you really need to talk about stuff like decisions to be made just play it the best way that will get you the result you hope for! By that I mean that my dh hates me crying and getting too emotional so I have to discuss things very simply and calmly even if inside I feel like screaming, because if I did he'd get scared and say it was all too much.

Does that ring any bells with anyone or is it just me!? Josie, with love from Dr Cake!

Thanks ladies, it's really helpful to know you are all there for me, and I hope I can be there for you all too if you ever need it (fingers crossed no-one ever does). It's all good advice too.

I think the argument helped clear the air a bit actually. I'm not easy to live with (I even got sick of hearing my own voice complaining this morning!) so he's doing well to put up with me! I feel like we're closer now and I'm really looking forward to a weekend away, though AF is due this weekend too, that's why I'm touchy this week, I've noticed I always get a bit emotional about it all during the last week of the 2ww. We're both off together next week too so that'll be nice, and I'll be visiting my friend and maybe her gorgeous daughter so I think that'll help (I'm scared of my neices and nephews but I'm not scared of her little girl so it should be fun) and might just remind me why we're going through all this)

Pocket sorry your scan didn't go as planned, hope everything is ok.

pocket so sorry to hear that the scan didn?t go as well as hoped. I?m really routing for little fella as I?ve developed a bit of a soft spot for him. Sending growing vibes for him and soothing stress-free seven day vibes for you.

Josie I think Italian and others offer great advice. DH and I have had some of our lowest times during the last year and a half but then we?ve also had some of our best times. Making time to do lots of couple stuff together and trying to forget about everything else helped us. We had a brilliant skiing holiday (and, err, lots of other lovely holiday fun ) that would never had happened if I?d been heavily pg.

Italian did you get booked in for the hysteroscopy before your ET? Sorry to be dim but sounds like it will soon be all systems go.

sunnyg I?m a bit delayed in responding to the egg sharing stuff but do think it?s a fabulous idea if the IUI doesn?t come up trumps (though am really hoping it does). My experiences at the Lister were really good and they do sharing ? I think you?re already on the case with them anyway, but just wanted to give them a thumbs up!

lucy are you 12-week scanning today? I hope it all goes wonderfully well.

mojangles lovely to hear that you are giving it one more go and am really touched that both you and Italian have given gifts and cards. I think jewellery is still a nice option and I?m a big fan of Alex Monroe jewellery at the moment. Wishing you all the very best with the last last try x.

Welcome bext hope all is going well with the meds and at work. I found the physical side of the drugs fine to cope with but the emotional strain was definitely harder. I didn?t tell work as I didn?t want any added pressure and I don?t think my boss would have been hugely understanding. Instead I made up a string of medical appointments for various reasons and also took time off during both my cycles. It?s not easy but I hope you manage to navigate a path that works for you.

lissy boo for rubbish neighbours but yay for 31 weeks. I know it?s usually not appreciated to say ?wow that?s gone quickly? (as it won?t have done for you) but I think you were only just about 12 weeks when I first started on the thread.

chutney really hope that today goes well. I don?t know how to express this, but we were told that we would never conceive naturally and for us we found being given a fairly black and white diagnosis was okay to deal with. It helped make decisions about what to do next pretty clear cut. I?m not saying I wouldn?t have preferred to have heard there was a chance of a natural pg but we just agreed that we definitely wanted children and we would pursue ICSI and see what happened.

bugsy hope all is well with you and best of luck for next week?s scan.

scrummy sorry to hear about AF and cystitis over Christmas but hope things have cleared up now. Am I right in thinking you have holiday planned soon before you have IVF? Sorry if I?ve mixed people up

keziah lovely to hear that the bump has had a growth spurt.

Waves to all the other ladies.

AFM we opted not to have a second early scan at the Lister as their cut off for scanning is 10 weeks and it was pretty much impossible to fit in with their Christmas closure/post-Christmas backlog. I'm (hopefully) 10+3 today and am tapping fingers/mentalling/biting nails/regretting Lister decision etc. as I wait for my 12 week scan which will be two weeks today.

Hi lovely ladies, just a quick one to say the scan went fine. Jeanie was mainly asleep but wriggled a little when prodded. All measurements were normal and my risk of chromosomal abnormalities is 1:1300. It doesn't rule out something else being wrong, so they said to have an extra anomaly scan at about 17 weeks due to my history, but for now, all looks fine

Teds, 2 weeks will fly by, but you could get another scan done somewhere like the fetal medicine centre if you're too anxious. They're very thorough there, the scanners are whizzy and clear, and the people absolutely lovely.

Yay for sleepy jeanie! I know it might not end all your worries given your past history lucy but I do hope that you are feeling a little less anxious and more reassured

Thanks for all your kind words. Am actually sobbing at how kind and lovely you all are.

Bugsy i think they go with egg collection plus one week... but i wasn't thinking straight enough yesterday to actually care or ask i'm afraid

Teds come join me on the fidget-bench if you like . I hope that the next two weeks fly by for you and you get to see your two little beans have grown and are getting comfy

Lucy i'm chuffed to bits that jeanie is doing well. Fabulous fabulous news - that's put a smile on my face which was otherwise a bit sad. So thank you.

have a lovely weekend ladies

xx

Lucy so, so glad everything is good with jeanie and that you had a low risk result on the chromosomal test. Glad to hear too that they are offering additional scan for you later.

teds thanks, AF went after 3 days, which is normal, but I've since had mid-cycle spotting for nearly a week now, which worries me. Heading for the clinic for my immune tests on Tuesday, so will ask them what to make of it.

Italian Been there, done that with DH! At his low point he expressed his concerns with 'you're not going to leave me once you've had the baby, will you?' which of course I wouldn't, but just highlights that they have their fears and insecurities too.

PS. We're only hopping to Spain for a long weekend, which is slap bang in the middle of my cycle. Hence the delay to March.

lucy good on sleepy jeanie.
Hugs to pocket it is horrid how emotional all this makes us. Hope you have a good weekend with distractions
teds hope the time flies by
josie hope the weekend is great fun
Waves to all

Morning all - just a quick update from me. We had our appointment yesterday and we had some good news, some sperm has been found in DH analysis. Although it's a tiny amount, less than 1% it means we have some hope. The Dr has advised ICSI/IVF saying that it is very unlikely that we'll conceive naturally.

It was quite a full on day as we were bombarded with information and they also took blood for tests there and then. I've also got drugs for my HSG procedure which will hopefully happen in my next cycle. We both came out feeling a bit bewildered and exhausted! However, we are both feeling positive about this diagnosis as whilst this would be terrible news for some people we feel we've been given a bit of hope and there is a clear plan for us to start aiming towards :)

So - we are now planning huge lifestyle overhaul (booze, food etc - we are both foodie/party people so this is daunting!) . I'm also doing some frantic research in to supplements, reading material, acupuncture etc so any advice out there on how we improve sperm count/general health is much appreciated!!

So....it looks like I will be joining the IVF/ICSI roller-coaster !!

pocket being at the beginning of this journey I can only imagine your anxiety but i truly have all my fingers and toes crossed for you and the little one.

Josie glad to hear the little blip with DH is over and your both back on track. Its very tough. I read italians advice word for word as I really want to try and make this as easy as I can on me and DH. We're thinking of plotting out the next few months of clean living dull living and booking nice days out, massages, shows etc to try and help us along the way.

teds keziah and others with growing bumps - hope you are all well. You're definitely an inspiration to those starting out on this journey.

Waves to everyone else - have a wonderful weekend.
xx

chutney that's fab news! The not drinking bit does get easier with time - we were a couple truly enjoying the good life too previously. We improved DH SA with diet changes and vits from Marilyn Glenville. I haven't gone extreme with diet, just use organic where I can, no drinking, no caffeine for me (DH is not a big coffee/tea drinker so I've let him be, plus some studies suggest a bit of caffeine for blokes helps the swimmers along) filtered water and that's about it. Will they continue with the tests and did you talk about timescales?

Chutney great news.

Scrummy sorry about the cystitis and af.

Teds I have a consultation with an NHS hospital consultant to see if he will give me a hysteroscopy. I am not completely sure I want one but my fertility consultant thinks it would be helpful. After hanging on the line for ages I managed to get through and book only to find another hospital could do it sooner! So I had to get another number to book it even though I cancelled the first appointment. Anyway, it all took ages but I have now booked it and the consultation will happen before the fertility appointment.

If anyone is a prayer please do pray that it will be sorted before the fertility appointment, either that I get a hysteroscopy before the fertility appointment (just about possible) or that I won?t get one at all! I also really hope (now) that there is no immunology issue and the £1K was all a waste of money, rather than there being a problem that needs more money! I am very hopeful now my treatment will be able to start in February.

Thanks, so much for all your kindness.

There is a lot going on for all of you and I am struggling to keep up at the moment! I am off on a work thing and expecting to be out of circulation for a bit. So I will be signing off for a bit. I will get back in touch when I have some news. If anyone has any especially exciting news to share, please do personal message me.

Best wishes and huge hugs, baby dust and chocolate boobs to Rowing, Keziah, Scrummy, Sunnyg, Josie, Lucy, Mojangles, Pocket, Weller, Lissy, Bugsylugs, Teds, Chutneyandcheese, Beginnings, Bext and all.

Pocket- Sorry to hear your scan wasn't what you expected, but I know that from one week to the next everything changes. Some little fellas fall behind and then catch up very quickly, so try not to stress about it.

chutney- That is terrific news! I think the supplement and diet route is really the best option for you at the moment. When is your next appointment? Hopefully it'll give you some time to make the changes you need to, and who knows, maybe the sperm count will drastically change and you'll get PG naturally. It has been known to happen!

lucy- Great news on your scan, and little Jeanie's low risk. I had the nuchal scan and the triple tests done, and my results came back 1:100000, so I was more than pleased. My SPD isn't awful, more annoying and uncomfortable. Basically it feels like I have to lay an egg.

Josie- Glad to hear you and DH have cleared the air. Sometimes you need these massive blowouts to get yourselves back on track, however unpleasant they might be. I've had quite a few with my DH in the course of our three year marriage. But now that you know what needs to be done, hopefully it'll all be smooth sailing.

scrummy- Hope you have a great time on your Spanish weekend!

teds- How are your beans doing? How do you feel? And bugsy?

Keziah- Glad to hear your little one had a growth spurt. I'm sure you feel much better with the change in midwife, etc.

Mojangles- So excited for you and your treatment! I agree with jewellry as a lovely gift for your donor, but I was also thinking of a lovely spa certificate or something pampering.

AFM, hitting 32 weeks. Wow, total weirdness. It's getting closer! Started shopping for real, and having the flat redecorated starting tomorrow. Attended a breastfeeding clinic on Thursday, which was extremely informative and VERY interesting. Unfortunately blood sugar readings are still spiking very high in the mornings, so had to start insulin right before breakfast. Hey, better to be safe than sorry, right?

Got some terrific news yesterday, and totally confirms that I'm sort of psychic. My twin sister has been trying to get pregnant with her second for about six months now. She made an appointment with her doctor, which was coming up, to discuss the issues (she was having 21 day cycles). Anyway, about two weeks ago I had a dream that she was pregnant, and when I told her, I said that it was a premonition. When I spoke to her a few days ago, she said she was expecting AF this weekend, and she was feeling sort of crampy. I talked to her yesterday, and she mentioned to me that we might have to change the date of our proposed North Carolina beach holiday in August from the end of August to the beginning. I immediately said "Why, are you pregnant?" To which she responded "What makes you say that?" And I told her I had a gut feeling. She got her BFP! Soooooo excited, and confirms that twin thing that I've always felt with her.

pocket am also sorry to hear bout your scan. It must be sooo nervewracking but we are all gunning for your little fella.

Italian really hope the appointment comes round super soon and you get to start treatment in February, It's practically mid-Jan now so here comes feb!

Josie sorry luv I am so late on your argument with DH. I can only echo what everyone else has said. This TTC journey is a shocker with relationships. Sometimes we ladies get soooo into this, it's all we can think about. Great you've cleared the air, with all this pressure there are blow to be some blow outs. Hope you are feeling better

Scrummy good luck for your immune test Tuesday. Are you still due to start your next treatment cycle March?

Chutney fab news darl. Sounds like you are making a plan which sometimes I think is half of it. I would second Scrummy's vies with the health living and everything in moderation. Me and DH do pretty much the same as Scrummy and DH goes to acupuncture and is taking some nasty looking Chinese herbs for his count (bless!). We haven't had a test in a while but will get a count this month with my IUI. I'll be interested to see where he's at.

First scan of 2nd IUI cycle tomorrow. Fingers crossed follies doing their thing.
Egg sharing research going well. Most clinics don't want to see me for a consult until results from this IUI up - fair enough. But Herts & Essex happy to do a consult beforehand, so hoping to get to see them this week or next. Just feels good to be making a plan b if this treatment cycle doesn't work. But I hope it does... so much.....

And hugs to Rowing, Keziah, Lucy, Mojangles, Pocket, Weller, Lissy, Bugsylugs, Teds, Beginnings, Bext and all and have a great week everyone oxox

sunny sending you lots of love and luck for your scan tomorrow. May your follies be obedient!!

bugsy thinking of you and your scan this week. Hope the bean is big and strong and you get to see that little heartbeat

Love to everyone, sorry not to name check everyone but you're all in my thoughts. X

sunny good luck with your scan. Please ask at your clinic about Chinese herbs because our clinic care notts put a warning out they had had poor results in people taking them so advised not to take. Do not know if same for iui.
pocket hope little fella is growing well and that you had a restful weekend.
italian and everyone else thanks for your good wishes.
Hope all have had a good weekend

Many thanks for your good wishes pocket and bugsy. Not a bad day at IUI central. So far have 1 biggie and 3 littlies. 17, 12, 12 and 10. But lining not thick enough at present, think about 3, so gotta wait for a few days. Apparently thin lining common side effect of clomid, but not too worried. Last cycle was also pretty thin at the start and am pretty sure I got up to at least 7 by the time of the IUI. Back in Wed for Scan no.2.

Thanks also for the info Bugsy re chinese herbs. I've heard mixed reports.Some people saying Acupuncture and herbs complimentary to fertility treatment and some saying not. Will definitely check with the clinic on Wed.

Wondering if anyone's got any advice about getting copies of your medical records without it taking an age? Kicking myself now for not taking or asking for copies as we've gone along. With consultations for egg sharing I know they are going to want to see previous records/tests and when I asked today at my clinic about getting copies of everything so far they said at least a 40 day wait! Was wondering if my gp might have been sent results of everything the clinic has done? She will of course have our initial testing results but not sure if they would have kept the gp updated? Any advice????

Waves and hugs to all oxox

Sunny glad today went okay and I'm praying that weds gets you closer to where you need to be my love. A 40 day wait for copies of your docs is crazy - can you plead with someone there to get it done earlier for you, or offer to go in and take copies yourself - would they let you have access to your file and a photocopier? I find tears help make things happen . DP and I had most of our tests (hep b, HIV etc) done by the GP (who was really helpful and understanding) and i'm sure that the results were back within one or two weeks, so i wonder if you could repeat the tests with your GP? Might be quicker than a 40 day wait?

Wow Lissy what lovely things you have going on with the decorating and the clinic sessions AND your sisters BFP. How fabulous, although I'm sorry to hear about the insulin but sounds like you're keeping a good eye on it.

Josie hope you and DH are getting on better. TTC is such an intense and emotional thing. To be honest, I think your DH is lucky - mine has to put up with me being totally mental at the moment. Obsessively online googling and bursting into tears.

Dear Scrummy hope your immunes tests go okay tomorrow x

AFM I am stressing beyond belief. I'm worried that I've had a missed miscarriage, ie fetus stopped growing but everything is still inside . But I know I need to wait until Wednesay's scan to see if little fella has grown in the last week, in which case he may just be a slow grower. On the positive side, i have been feeling nauseas for the last two days.

Its official, TTC will send you crazy!!

Love to everyone and thanks for all your continued support. I'd love to have you all over for a good old chinwag over a cuppa (decaf) and cake (low fat/sugar)