Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Thanks for the warm welcomes - especially the fish slapping, I will aim not to need it by being calm and non-mental, but feel free to administer the mackerel if required.

I will read through the thread to get to know everyone, but I do hope you're all feeling strong and happy?

dachs I hope your date passes in as positive way as possible

digital I'm all over denial, good plan

biscuits yippee!!

Thinking of you Dachs

Hi all - fab to see so much happy scan news and newbies popping up. We've got a new thread running for the grads now - number 10!

A huge for dachs. Thinking of you and MrDachs - make sure you take it easy.

Just wanted to pop on and say, to anyone who can remember me saying a few days about my friend who had had a m/c, I've just told her our news and she was really amazing about it. She wanted to arrange to meet up next weekend so I thought I'd better get it out there (as I definitely look 'questionable' and wanted to give her time to process it before I see her) but she was really really kind about it. She said she had needed some good news and was really pleased for us - which is very sweet of her.

Anyway, just thought I'd update you and thank you for your advice on it all xx

That's great Biscuits - a true friend.

Thinking of you dachs it is so hard when you are confronted with what could have been. When is your next scan?

Aw thats great Biscuits! I'm glad all went well.

Waves to everyone else, hope yous are all good.

Dach thinkin of you

Welcome Googie

dachs big squeeze!! The Twins DD must be hard for you and mr dachs, I hope you are both holding up as well as you possibly could be. I agree, it really has come around so quickly. Think of you both, and of Alexander and Felicia.

most of us whales who are futher on are on the grads thread now, come and join us!

Lovely to see lots of positve scan news, long may it continue! So nice to see some of you de-lurking in the grads thread...... Please come over when you're ready, we ALWAYS have cake and chocolate!

OK I think I need fish-slapping already...been trying to not think about it, just be positive etc but stupidly yesterday I did another pregnancy test and the line doesn't seem noticeably darker than the test the week before (although that one was loads darker than the first)...does this mean anything?!
Also, I don't have any sickness, and my boobs aren't really sore (they were last time, but no sickness), although my nipples are a bit hard and sensitive (TMI?) I've had a terrible cold too. I dn't have any sickness last time, but I did have a very heightened sense of smell, but I can't smell anything at the mo.
I can't decide if I feel worse for not having the same symptoms as last time or relieved?! I'm only 6 weeks. We heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks last time and then had a mmc at the 11 week scan (had a tiny spot of blood) so waaaaaaaaah.

Step Away From The Sticks. Once you are 6 weeks the sticks can not tell you anything whatsoever about the health of your pregnancy. Honestly! it probably tells you that you had more to drink that day or something.

Symptoms are also not a guide to how your pregnancy is progressing. I've hardly had any either this time. Or last time. I may be just one of those people who is not prone to getting morning sickness.

That must have been really tough for you last time after seeing the heartbeat. That is what I am dreading the most in fact. Were they able to give you any sort of explanation for that or was it just "one of those things"? Are you having an early scan again?

It's true, the stick says you're pg and you are!
6 weeks is still early, I didn't have much at 6, then it started to build and now at the grand old 7+1 I have been crying on DH's shoulder because I feel crap much of the time, threw up this evening and am feeling a bit overwhelmed that the two paths stretching in front of me are either continuing to feel crap for another 5-6 weeks (based on ds's pg) or continuing to feel crap until we discover another mc and then having to go through all that crap. In your words "waaaaaahhhhh"
This SUCKS! Doesn't it?
I'm feeling very toddler-tantrummy about it all.

Monday 19 September 2011

Bump 23+4 EDD 14/01/12
Hairylights 23+1
Mamarara 22+3
Pigletmania 22+3
ladybird33 22+3 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 20+0 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 19+0 EDD 13/2/12 next scan 30/9/11
MrsSteph 17+3 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 16+5 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 24/10/11
Shellshock7 16+1 EDD 4/3/12 next scan 17/10/11
LivinInTheMoment 16+1 EDD 4/3/12
LAF77 13+5, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 12+5 EDD 28/3/12, next scan 16/9/11
Kat2504 10+4 EDD 12/04/12, next scan 3/10/11
Digitalgirl 10+1 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 21/09/11
Moomin 10+1 EDD 15/04/12
LadyMaybe 7+1, next scan 22/09/11
Boodleboot 6+4 EDD 14/5/12, next scan 20/09/11
Googie 5+1

MIA
Lovemysleep 36+5 EDD 11/10/11
Haffertee 32+2 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 31+6 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 31+4 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 31+4 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 31+4 EDD 22/11/11
Jigglebum 28+3 EDD 8/12/11
Lucky 27+0
Hadrian 26+2 EDD 25/12/11
Bump 23+4 EDD 14/01/12

On the grads thread too:
Daisybell - baby#1 40+6 weeks EDD 13 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 38+4 weeks EDD 28 September
A lovely bunch of coconuts baby #2 38+2 weeks EDD 1 october
Emoo - baby#2 37+2 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 35+0 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 35+0 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 34+6 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 33+3 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 33+2 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 32+4 EDD 10 November
Hils74 - baby#1 32+3 EDD 11/11/11
Collieandpup baby #1 31+1 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 30+4 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 30+3 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 30+3 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 30+6 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 29+0 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 27+4 EDD 12/12/11
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 26+4 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 26+4 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 24+5 EDD 5th Jan
Sunchild77 Baby #3 24+3 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff baby#2 24+2 wks EDD 7th Jan
Milkyways - baby #2 24+0 EDD 8th January 2012
Laylasmummy09 22+4 EDD 21 January

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; A&R; MumTum; Knitter, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance

Dachs thinking of you lots at this horribly sad time for you.

Have been feeling rubbish all weekend, bad head cold that then made me nauseous and am all blocked up so just generally miserable. Probably should have stayed in bed again today but oh well. Will be out the door at 5 tonight.

Freaking out again and don't really know what to do now. I had another small amount of bleeding while at work today, and have been getting some lower abdominal discomfort since last night. I wasn't sure whether to go back to the Drs, or call midwife (although I knew that Monday is clinic day, so she would probably be too busy), so I called DH and asked him to call his mum for advice as she is a retired midwife. She suggested calling the EPAU, so that they would book me in for a scan. The thing is, I know from last time, that once they've discharged you, you have to go back to your gp for further advice. So I decided it was no good putting it off, and booked an appointment with one of the GPs at the practice. She was very nice, but just said that as I had bleeding earlier in the pregnancy, and I saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks, she was not really concerned, and for me to 'just monitor things'. She gave me a sample pot to test my wee for an UTI (when I asked when the result might be back, she said to call on Friday, but they probably won't be back). She kept saying that bleeding is not normal in pregnancy, and the only way to know for sure is to have a scan, but made no mention of the EPAU at all. She kept saying that her feeling was that everything will turn out fine. When I got home, I went to the loo, and had some bright red, fresh bleeding, and I've been having cramping in my lower back all evening. I guess if things progress, and it's heavy bleeding, I'll just have to go to A & E (last resort!!). I just have a really bad gut feeling, I can't really describe it. My feeling sick has suddenly stopped too. I just feel a bit lost at the moment. DH is at work all night, but he doesn't really understand how I'm feeling anyway. I just want to sit and cry, but can't, because the kids are still up and I don't want them to see me upset!! What a rollercoaster.

Oh moomin what a nightmare! I think you should phone the EPAU tomorrow morning and tell them that you have had more bleeding. Hopefully they will get you in for another scan sometime tomorrow. Phone them direct, if they insist on referral try to get one from your midwife. Your 6 week scan was quite a while ago now so I think it would be unreasonable of them not to rescan you. If it was a week after your last scan you could understand them trying to get you to hold off for a bit.
Hoping that your bleeding doesn't progress but if it does do go to A and E because although it technically isn't an emergency, we all know it is the quickest way to get the EPAU to give you a scan.

Big hugs to you, am so sorry you are going through this

moomin I'm really [shocked] at your gp! Not only am I surprised she didn't refer you but also because she is contradicting herself. She is right, bleeding isn't normal and should been looked into, but before I totally freak you out, it really can be totally ok. There were quite a lot of women on here before I moved to the grads thread, who'd had all sorts of bleeding at different times. Sone of them gave had their ickle babies now and others getting close! It really can work out ok.

If it was me I'd get the bleeding checked out one way or another. My mw s usually really good and has fitted me in on her busy clinic days. If texted her in the past to see what she says. Or coukd you name another GP apt tomorrow and see a different one for a 2nd opinion. I know you think it's pointless tuning EPU, but I think id try anyway just in case before traipsing down to A&E. But if all else fails get yourself to A&E, even if it doesn't get heavier. You'll never be able to relax until you know.

Fwiw morning sickness can come and go, mine especially started to fade in and out at about 9wks.

Hope you're ok x

Sorry for typos on phone!

Thanks Kat and Collie, I think I will see how things are in the morning and take it from there. I was totally shocked by the GP contradicting herself, I think it was her way of trying to reassure me, but we all know that the only true reassurance is to have a scan! I think that sometimes they focus too much on the fact that nothing can be done if a miscarriage occurs, and not enough on how distressing things can be! If the worst came to the worst, I would rather know now, at just over 10 weeks, than have to wait til my scan at nearly 13 weeks. I honestly thought that I would start to be feeling more relaxed as I approached the end of the 1st trimester!

moomin I hope you get to have a scan and someone is a bit more sympathetic - a scan is so reassuring.

Thanks kat and lady for the fish-slapping ... much needed I know. I had a first little bought of feeling sick today and am soo exhausted, so maybe I have symptoms after all.

Did/have any of you gone on holiday during your first three months? We have a wedding to go to and need to fly there...no reason why not, right?

Oh moomin what a rotten day you've had. Has the bleeding eased at all? I thought all epu's would scan women with a history of miscarriage who are pregnant in the first trimester and bleeding. I'm pretty sure if you have records there you can self refer. But really your gp should have referred you immediately. I think call the epu in the morning - if they have no appts available then call your surgery, explain your history to the doc and say you really want a scan today and they should be able to find the nearest hospital with an available slot. I did this when pg with ds1 and bleeding. Oh - and call your midwife too. Get dh to do it if you're too emotional.

googie hope you're feeling a bit more reassured too. Put away the sticks now as they can't tell you anything more. And I had no symptoms at 6 weeks other than slightly heavy boobs. I had a head full of treacle at 4-5 weeks, but even that disappeared at 6 weeks. I also have had a grand total of two days of slight nausea. So really, symptoms come and go and change from day to day. There's nothing you can do but let your body get on with it and try not to second guess it.

lady sorry to hear you're suffering - i think it is more difficult to cope when you don't have any faith in it being 'worth it'. My (totally shallow) 'is it worth it' gripe about this pg is having put on so much weight already. The steroids have puffed my face up, I had to wear maternity jeans to work today and my stomach is bigger than my colleague who is 5-6 weeks ahead of me. So if this doesn't work out I've got to lose all this weight AGAIN. Shallow, isn't it?

Just to say, Moomin, I'm thinking of you. Everyone else has given you some good advice already so hope you get some help and a scan tomorrow. But just wanted to say I'm thinking of you xx

moomin in a threatened miscarriage situation (i.e. bleeding in pg) you definitely should be getting a scan. I agree with digi ask DH to speak to them if you are worried that you will crumble on the phone. No one should be bleeding in pg without some reassurance about what is happening. I hope you get seen tomorrow. Have you ever had a diagnosis for your previous mc? Are you on any treatment at present?

googie welcome here, we are all a little mad, I recall finding a reason to take another CBD at 6 weeks (it was taking up space in the cupboard ) but the other ladies are right, the tests aren't going to help you once you have confirmed pg. The only thing that will help you know what is going on is a scan. Save your pennies for a private scan if your EPU won't scan you before 12 weeks.

lady sorry that you are feeling a bit glum about it at the moment, but I know where you are coming from. I have my high and low moments where I consider both the bad and good outcomes.

digi recurrent mc plays havoc with your waistline, I had to go into maternity jeans 2 weeks ago because I've let myself go in the last 9 months. I don't want to seem shallow either, but I'm not happy about what I look like either. I didn't expect to be this heavy in pg, but I know that having come so far, I'm feeling a lot more positive about myself and know that I can shift the pounds at a later date.

Thinking of you all.

dachs thinking of you too xx

dachs Thinking of you at this hard time. x

moomin sorry that you are bleeding again. Really hope you are seen at your EPAU tomorrow.

digi I have to agree with LAF. My 4 miscarriages were all within 15 months. That's 4 first trimesters where I was practically binge eating in the evenings after 9 hours at work. I went up a jeans size at 6 weeks with this pregnancy. Unbelievably I'm now having problems putting on weight. Weight really fluctuates and I found most days in the first trimester I wasn't fat at all, but just really bloated!

digi I'm the same with weight. A year of either being pregnant or recovering from miscarriage with only a few good months in between has made me gain lots of weight. I have gone up at least 3 BMI points in that time and made the transition from healthily plumpish to fat fatty. I get really hungry in the first few weeks and of course after a miscarriage I did a massive amount of comfort eating and inparticular comfort drinking.

I went on holiday when I was 5 weeks - obviously it was booked without me having any idea I would be pregnant again. I was worried about it but I did have a good time. I figured at 5 weeks if the worst happened it would not be too horrific physically. I am glad I went away then, I think I would have worried more if the holiday fell when I was 8 weeks plus. Flying isn't a danger so don't worry about that though, it is perfectly safe.