Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Lily just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you & you DH right now, having received your news. I imagine there's so much to take in & consider right now & you are faced with decisions you hoped you never had to take. Whichever one you make will be right for your family. I hope you have lots of RL support, I understand ARC are very good. Take care of yourselves. We're here for you too. X

Thank you all, you are very kind, and your words mean a lot to me. We have taken the difficult decision to terminate and so I will leave you ladies at this point. I'll be lurking for good news and great scans from you all on here and on the grads thread as you progress, and I really do wish you all the very best for the remainder of your pregnancies and the birth of your babies. I hope to be joining you again some day.

x

Oh lily, I'm so for you, life is so so unfair sometimes .

All the very very best, I'll be thinking of you. You are always welcome to come over to the common room for a chat.

Big big hugs for you and your family xxx

Oh I'm very sorry lily what a heartbreaking decision to have to make. I hope the physical side of it isn't too awful and you are feeling better soon. knitter in the common room has been through exactly the same back in April, and there is a thread on Antenatal tests and choices for women in the same position as you if you need advice from people who have been there.
Thinking of you and your family x

Lily just wanted to say we'll be thinking of you - life is so unfair and it must have been such a difficult decision to make. We are all here for you if you need to talk but I hope you have plenty of rl support too to help you through this xx

lily I am so sorry all my thoughts with you at this difficult time.

Lily I'm thinking of you and your family. Like biscuits has said, we are here if you need us but hope you get lots of love and care from those around you. xx

After being away for a while, I just want to say lily thinking of you , also for anyone else, sorry haven't had a chance to read all posts, who are going through bad times. Big hugs to you all.

Lily What a hard decision to make :(. I hope your DH and you have the support of close family and friends at this time. Thinking of you x.

I just need to pop in and freak out. I have been freaking out since last week when a numpty at work tried to force me to discuss maternity leave and cover (when it's none of his business) before I've actually had chance to talk to my boss (which I'm doing next week) and persisted when I told him no, I wasn't ready or comfortable. It set me of thinking about things I don't want to think about yet. I just want to take this a step at a time until I feel more confident, and want my first discussions about ML to be with my boss.

So I got increasingly more nervy and jumpy and sensitive until this morning I had a melt down. Am worried about whether I'm growing enough, about whether what I can feel is movement, about the fact that my uterus feels a bit bruised.

My 12 week scan isn't until Thursday (I'll be 18 weeks by then) as I didn't book in so it's basically been five weeks since I had a scan and until last week I felt fine and dancy.

So I've just booked another scan for tonight because I know I will just mental for the next few days otherwise.

Thanks for listening.

Oh Hairy you poor thing. How insensitive of the work person to push the matter. Some people just have no skills in these areas at all do they!

Hope the scan tonight puts your mind at rest a little bit. Could you ask your mw about the bruised uterus thing? It may be quite a common thing in terms of everything stretching out? (based on no medical expertise whatsoever). It can't hurt to give her a call perhaps and see if she can put your mind at rest on that front too?

And as far as the mean work person is concerned you still have ages before they'll need to arrange cover. I mean they know roughly when you'll be going don't they! And you don't have to decide how long you're having off before you go or anything I don't think.

Is there anyone at work that knows your history and therefore would understand your reluctance to jump ahead? Perhaps your boss? If mean man pursues it again perhaps you could get someone to just tell him to back off a bit if he can't already take a hint?

Hope you can get through to the scan this evening without too much more stress? Can you perhaps take a nice long lunchbreak? Get a bit of time away? I really do feel for you you poor thing :(

Hope it gets better soon x

Hi biscuits thank you so much for your lovely reply. I';ve had a good cry over lunch and feel a bit better now.

The stupid thing is the troublesome man knows my history and knows the mental hell I've been through! Which I think makes him twice the arse!

I've googled the bruised uterus thing and apparently it is common - it can feel like that due to stretching (I have mentalled over it being all sorts of other horrible stuff!).

The awful thing about having had missed mcs is that you really have no clue, so it's scarey when pregnant again.

I think I've done the right thing in booking another private scan ... I can't go on mentalling like this.

Hi hairy, sorry to hear your colleague is being a dufus. I always get similar feelings when anyone makes me talk about the pg in a way I'm not ready for (Christmas plans etc) - I think it's entirely normal to then start to worry that something isn't right and also be entirely convinced.

Sounds like you've done the right thing booking a scan. Are you able to feel any movements yet? I know lots of poeple don't feel them until 20+ weeks so perhaps not, but I really found that the movements helped me feel better/a bit more confident.

Hope your scan goes really well and you get a good look at wriggly bean

Hello! I have got a 3+ on a clearblue test. I even think it is 2 or 3 days early to be showing me 3+ so I am quite happy about that. Not that it means anything about the outcome, but at least I know things are going ok up to now.
I wish I could fast forward the next month though!

hairy you were right to be upset about your idiot colleague. I hope your scan puts your mind at rest though. Sometimes it is worth paying for peace of mind.

Congratulations on your bfp Kat - and welcome to the freak out room! I'm only a little way ahead of you (6+5 by LMP dates) so I have plenty of mentalling to do too before I can have a scan or get any meaningful reassurance.

Hairy sometimes you feel so much better after a little cry don't you. Can't believe what an arse that bloke in your office is - if he knows the history and everything too. What an absolute idiot.

Doo I love the word dufus - much underused. I shall endeavour to use it at least once a day henceforth. With DH around that shouldn't prove to be too much of a problem .

And Hairy do try to get on and let us know how your scan goes. I'll be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed xx

Lily, sorry to hear your news, sending hugs your way. And hope to see u back on here soon x

Congrats Kat!

Gosh Hairy, that co-workers sounds like a right pain in the butt. Ignore them, he shouldn't be asking u those questions, its between u and your boss. And i dont think u even have to give dates until much nearer the due date.

Good for u to book the scan, let us know how it goes!

I'm literally counting the hours til my first scan... Wednesday 2pm ladies...
Its on my mind 24/7. And lately i've been so tense and worried, that someone will twig, i keep holding my stomach in. Today has been particulary bad and i have a pain in my stomach from holding in. Is that bad for me/baby to be holding in??

Also is anyone getting itchy nipples? I hope thats not a sign of mc?? As i read somewhere that nipple stimulation can bring on labour if a lady is gone past her due date... Aaaghhh mentalling mentalling...

yay for the 3+ Kat :o

Congratulations on the scan ladybird glad to hear it's all good with your 2

I would have been very at your colleague too Hairy, that is just so intrusive especially as he knows your history. A bit of a cry can be very helpful to make you feel better. hope the scan goes OK tonight - totally understand the last minute scan need and will be thinking of you.

livin also will be crossing everything for your scan, I too have had itchy nips

LILI definitely had the bloated tummy here, it just grows and grows every day and then by morning is almost back to normal

well I had my booking in this morning and that was fun, especially as it turns out I should have had it with the maternal medicine team this afternoon and now have to go back next week to see them, talk about inefficient!
They did ask me if I could come back this afternoon for it but when they saw my face they said it would be fine for next week! It takes nearly an hour to get from my work to the hospital. So I have had an appointment for bloods, will have two midwife booking in appointments and then a scan as well as seeing my heamatologist all within the space of 2 weeks. Think colleagues are a bit at the amount of time I'm spending at the docs!

Totally freaking out about my scan on friday - dh told me to stop being silly as there is no reason to think anything will be wrong and that making plans if the scan is bad was just ridiculous. Cue lots of tears and an emotional outburst, I know worrying isn't good especially as I can't change the outcome but I need to have a plan if things are bad so we just don't collapse. I just like to be prepared for what might happen

Thanks everyone.

And hugs to you stitch. I still have a hospital bag packed from being convinced that my 8 week scan would show problems. I feel very superstitious about unpacking it. It helps me feel in control to know it's there if needed.

Hi stitch how exasperating about your appointment! How can they not book it with the right people to begin with!

hairy I'm so sorry about the jerk at your office. Pregnancy is such a sensitive time without RMC, so for someone to be making off the cuff remarks to you about when your maternity leave starts deserves a slap! I guess I missed something, but why are you having your 12 week scan at 18 weeks? Is it just because you waited to make the appointment and it took them that long to fit you in?

good news on the CBD kat I did the same thing a couple weeks ago!

I'm having a dilemma about booking a private scan this week. It turns out that there isn't availability at the one near me and my work. I have no idea why. I have the options of going further afield, but like stitch I've already taken some lengthy time away from work to get to St. Mary's in the last few weeks.

I can't bear the thought of going to my local EPU for a scan. Everything about going there is negative for me. I would expect bad news to come from that building. I may just have to wait it out until next week. Not sure if I can wait that long. DH told me that I need to be patient or else next thing I'd want daily scans. Personally, I think it is a good idea, but I probably make everyone sick of me :-) I'm going to have to trust my body to tell me that things are better this time. I have felt quite off colour today and brought up a little bit of food over the last 24 hours. I just woke up from an hour's kip and feel like I could go to bed now, but I have dinner plans. I can't stop mc by having a scan, I know this fact. I know that the minute that I dress after the scan, I'll be impatient for the next one. I'm not sure how I could last 9 months without losing my sanity.

hairy sorry about your colleague's insensitivity. What an idiot. I hope the scan puts your mind at rest.

Congratulations kat :)

LAF It is so hard in the early weeks to be sure that everything is going well, and I was just like you wanting as many scans as possible. Up until 12 weeks I was a total wreck everyday. I then bought a doppler and that has definitely calmed me down a bit, but I must confess I woke up at 4.30am this morning and had a listen in to baby to make sure everything was okay. I don't think the worrying will ever stop for me.

Strangely I have started getting really sensitive boobs and bouts of nausea and wretching again at completely random times. Yesterday I had family around for dinner and had to hide behind DH in the kitchen wretching. No one has noticed yet, so my loose fitting clothes are doing me well! At first I had thought I'd tell everyone after my 20 week scan, but now I just don't want to tell them at all unless they notice.

Good luck to everyone with upcoming scans.

Right I've had a go at the stats, sorry if I get anything wrong

monday 8 August

Lovemysleep 31+1 EDD 11/10/11
Hils74 27+5 EDD 8/11/11
Haffertee 26+4 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 26+1 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 25+6 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 25+6 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 25+6 EDD 22/11/11
Jigglebum 22+6 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 22+4 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 21+2
Dooscooby 20+6 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 20+5 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 02/08/11
Hadrian 20+4 EDD 25/12/11 next scan 15/08/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 18+6 EDD 5/1/12 next scan 19/8/11
Freezingmyarseoff 18+5 EDD 6/1/12 next scan 18/8/11
Updiffed 18+4
Milkyways 18+3 EDD 08/01/12 Next scan 22/08/11
Hairylights 17+6
Bump 17+4 EDD 14/01/12
Mamarara 16+6
Laylasmummy09 16+5
Lily06 16+4 EDD 21/01/12 Next scan 25/08/11
Pigletmania 16+3
ladybird33 16+3 EDD 22/1/12 Next scan 5/8/11
purpletoes 13+6 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
MrsSteph 11+3 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 12+0 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 18/08/11
Shellshock7 10+2 EDD 5/3/12 next scan 19/8/11

On the grads thread too:
Owlbooty - baby#1 40+1 weeks EDD 7th August
PrettyVacant - baby#1 37+2 weeks EDD 28th August
OrangeGloss ? baby#1 36+1 weeks EDD 4th September
Wombat33 - baby#1 35+2 weeks EDD 10 September
Daisybell - baby#1 34+6 weeks EDD 13 September
PinkFondantFancy - baby#1 32+6 weeks EDD 25 September
Tiggersreturn babies #2&3 32+6 wks EDD 26 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 32+6 weeks EDD 28 September
A lovely bunch of coconuts baby #2 32+2 weeks EDD 1 october
Emoo - baby#2 31+3 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 29+0 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 29+0 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 28+6 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 27+3 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 27+2 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 26+4 EDD 10 November
Collieandpup baby #1 25+1 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 24+4 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 24+3 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 24+2 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 23+6 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 23+0 wks EDD 5th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 20+4 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 20+4 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 18+5 EDD 5th Jan

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo

oops just realised the dates I have put on are for tomorrow sorry Brian obviously at work!

All is well and measuring 17 + 4 :) phew!

Excellent news hairy - very pleased for you . And thanks for the hugs - nice to know I'm not alone feeling this way

No stitch you aren't alone. We all have to find our own way to deal with things ... Whatever works for you is all that really maters, even if this around us don't get it.

I have said many a time "yes, I am mental and crazy, but this is what gets me through so it is what I'm doing no matter what anyone else thinks"