Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Thanks for updating the list yesterday purple. I've bravely popped myself on the grads one now so I've taken me off the other one and done a bit of tidying. Will continue to lurk I'm sure though

Tuesday 9 August

Lovemysleep 31+2 EDD 11/10/11
Hils74 27+6 EDD 8/11/11
Haffertee 26+5 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 26+2 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 26+0 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 26+0 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 26+0 EDD 22/11/11
Jigglebum 23+0 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 22+5 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 21+3
Harassed 20+5 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 02/08/11
Hadrian 20+5 EDD 25/12/11 next scan 15/08/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 18+6 EDD 5/1/12 next scan 19/8/11
Freezingmyarseoff 18+6 EDD 6/1/12 next scan 18/8/11
Updiffed 18+5
Milkyways 18+4 EDD 08/01/12 Next scan 22/08/11
Hairylights 18+0
Bump 17+5 EDD 14/01/12
Mamarara 17+0
Laylasmummy09 16+6
Pigletmania 16+4
ladybird33 16+4 EDD 22/1/12 Next scan 5/8/11
purpletoes 14+0 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
MrsSteph 11+4 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 12+1 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 18/08/11
Shellshock7 10+3 EDD 5/3/12 next scan 19/8/11

On the grads thread too:
Owlbooty - baby#1 40+2 weeks EDD 7th August
PrettyVacant - baby#1 37+3 weeks EDD 28th August
OrangeGloss ? baby#1 36+2 weeks EDD 4th September
Wombat33 - baby#1 35+3 weeks EDD 10 September
Daisybell - baby#1 35+0 weeks EDD 13 September
PinkFondantFancy - baby#1 33+0 weeks EDD 25 September
Tiggersreturn babies #2&3 33+0 wks EDD 26 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 33+0 weeks EDD 28 September
A lovely bunch of coconuts baby #2 32+3 weeks EDD 1 october
Emoo - baby#2 31+4 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 29+1 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 29+1 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 29+0 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 27+4 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 27+3 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 26+5 EDD 10 November
Collieandpup baby #1 25+2 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 24+5 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 24+4 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 24+3 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 24+0 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 23+1 wks EDD 5th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 20+5 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 20+5 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 18+6 EDD 5th Jan

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo, Lily06

just wanting to say thinking of lily06 and hoping that everyone else is doing ok. Haven't heard from freelance for a while - hope you're doing ok and just having a 'break' from everything.

And to whoever asked about itchy nipples - yes, I've had that all along and really bad sometimes (cue rummaging for a good scratch whilst at work!). I think its normal (the itching, not necessarily the scratching at work!)

I think Freelance has her next scan this week? If you're reading Freelance I've got everything crossed for you xx

Lily so sorry to her of your news and the decision you have had to make. I hope you can take the time out to for and DH to look after yourselves xxx

Lili hope you are not finding the 8 week mark approaching too stressful, I'm with you on the bloating, my tummy is permanently bloated now, not just at the end of the day - really should get some bigger or maternity clothes but don't want to tempt fate before my 12 week scan

ladybird great news re your scan, such good news that everything is going well

hairy hope you are having a better day today, some people are just idiots - someone said to me the other day that I 'better pull my finger out and get on with it' if I hadn't been pregnant again I think I would have fell to pieces, as it was it was my DH who wanted to go have a word! I agree re MMC too, even when I'm feeling really 'pregnant' there is something in the back of my head worrying that it's gonna be bad news at the next scan

Just seen your scan post - that's great news

Kat great news re the test, and amen re wishing the weeks away!!

livin not long now for the scan, good luck - not sure about holding your belly in, but I couldn't imagine it could do any harm? And, yep re itchy nipples!!

stitch what a nightmare all those appointments, and with the hospital not being close How far along will you be (by your dates) for the scan on Friday? I get the stress building up and how you feel is you are prepared for the worst, you can have some control at a time when everything feels out of your control...but good luck for the scan, really hope everything will be good for you x

LAF DH and I both said when I fell pregnant again that we would not go back to the same hospital where the MMC was discovered, luckily I moved house and had a choice of another hospital so could choose that one. If only we could all afford daily scans!

I have now passed the point I reached last time I was pregnant, which feels like a bit of a milestone Just really want to get to the scan next Friday and have some good news, I can feel the stress starting to build up already!

Hello!
Sorry for being absent for so long - real life totally got in the way of MN and not in a good way. Boo.

lily I have been thinking of you and am so sorry to hear of your results. Sending lots of love x

Going to go and read a few pages and catch up on everyone else - hope you are all doing well and hello again :)

Ahhh, thanks scooby and biscuits! I am indeed lurking, lurking live from Amsterdam airport as we speak. Going to Epu tomorrow morning so should know something then. Tbh I don't feel it is going to be good news but I am still being pragmatic and trying to just think positively, something which takes the form of 'oh well I can try again soon' rather than 'hey it might be ok'. I really don't have any good signs at the mo, boobs normal, even my crazed hunger has diminished. I am here though, just havent had anything to say. have been reading everyone's news and it's good to hear it is looking positive for people, was so sorry though to hear about lily. Last week felt like a sad end to the week on the thread, with that and another miscarriage too.

In the meantime I am not in such a bad space and am really trying to enjoy life, with the added stress of recurrent mc, treatment and all the mentalling that goes with it kept firmly on the side! Does that make sense? Is anyone else trying to do that? Amsterdam has been lovely and distracting and this weekend also starts early on Thursday. Of course in reality I am noticing every symptom / non symptom obsessively and reading here obsessively too but just trying to keep the worry to a dull roar :)

Oh good luck Freelance. Hope you've had a nice time in Amsterdam - certainly a different place to do your mentalling! I will have just everything crossed for you tomorrow - I so hope that it is good news and I admire your mental attitude to it all. I aspire to that level of calm :)

Take care xx

Hello, I'm new here. I just posted a message on the pregnancy board, and a lovely lady replied and recommended the freak-out room. To try to keep it shorter than my previous post, I'm 5+4 according to my LMP amd cycle length. I have 3 lovely girls (2 from a previous relationship), and I had an early pregnancy loss with IUD in place in April. I was gutted after the early M/C, as although I had the IUD, I had been wanting another baby for a while, it was just persuading hubby that was difficult. I had the IUD removed, and we started TTC in June. Before my period was due on 29th July, I had a hunch that I might be pregnant (tender boobs on and off, very moody!), so on the day I was due, did a test, but BFN. I then has light brown/pink bleeding for 9 days ( I get this a few days before my period usually), but it didn't progress. On the way home from holiday, I felt a bit weird, sort of lightheaded, so on Sunday, I decided to do another test, especially as the bleeding had stopped. I had an immediately dark, BFP. I did another an hour later, and the same result. Happy, but confused, as apart from feeling a bit tired (nothing new, lol) and spotty and larger and mildly tender boobs if I press them, I just don't feel pregnant at all, whereas with my girls, my boobs were KILLING me, and I had a very strong sense of smell. I went to my GP yesterday, he wasn't at all concerned that I'd had 9 days of bleeding (plus on and off twingy pain on left of groin), and just told me to make my booking appointment at the desk. I wasn't reassured. This morning, I had some more bleeding, so made another appointment with a different Dr. She was lovely, understood how upset I was, and called the EPAU to make me an appointment for a scan. They will see me on Friday, as I should be 6 weeks. I feel utterly in limbo, don't really consider myself 'properly' pregnant, if that makes sense. I am dreading the scan, but at the same time glad that I will should have an answer as to whether there is a viable pregnancy or not. I just want some symptoms, then it might help! I'm scrutinising everything!! I had today off work, but will go back tomorrow as I think I need the normality and to stop obsessing quite as much!!

Hi Moomin (may I abbreviate?). Well firstly congratulations on your BFP. It is so scary in these early days and so much more so when you've had something go wrong before. But you're in the right place for lots of hand holding - the ladies on this thread are super nice and so supportive.

Glad you went back and got the nice doctor and I'll be willing Friday to come round quickly for you. I do hope the scan can put your mind at rest.

I am not that far ahead of you. I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow by LMP dates, but suspect I'm not quite so far along as I think I ovulated late. Anyhooooo, I have DS who'll be 3 next month. Before him we had a m/c at 10 weeks (bleeding started at 10 weeks but scan showed everything has stopped developing at about 5/6 weeks). We've been ttc for 19 mths before getting this BFP (weirdly because got pg the two times before quite quickly) so am doing some serious mentalling at the moment. Am trying to hold out on a scan until next week.

Hi Biscuits, yes 'Moomin' is fine, lol! Thank you, it is really scary at the moment- although having had 3 problem-free pregnancies, I can't help feeling anxious. Hopefully all will be fine for you too, It's nice to find other people who are having the same or similar worries. I think DH thinks that I am crazy! I look back at my previous healthy pregnancies (I should also point out that I had 2 other early m/cs after my oldest 2), and wish that I'd made the most of the special time, but seem to always spend the first trimester worrying! I guess at the end of the day, if it's meant to be, it will be.

Ash Moomin you've hit the nail on the head. There is this tiny sensible voice in my head saying 'you can't change it - what will be will be' but then this massive mentalling part of my head that shouts it down! I think that (aside from the obvious downsides of a m/c) I have a huge fear of having to go back and start ttc again - sounds silly but I was so down with it all (and I don't mean 'down with it' as in 'down wiv da kids'........). It had become such a chore and so depressing but I still wanted another dc just as much. It's such a roller coaster and I still can't actually believe that we got a bfp. I don't know if I could handle something going wrong again

I think our dp/dhs must struggle to understand it. I have already caught myself giving DH very short change when he asked if I had found my body shape changing yet. The poor man got a big lecture on how I spent all day worrying about not having enough symptoms and I didn't need him adding to it and giving me extra things to think about that perhaps should have happened thank you very much!! I think his basic point was though that he was worried too but didn't know what to say or do. And whereas we ladies have no end of symptoms (or lack of) to over analyse he has literally nothing to work from. So he was trying to ask it in a nice way but really had no idea what was supposed to be happening.

Just popping in to wish Freelance good luck this morning.

Very best wishes for your scan today freelance. have everything crossed for you.

Thanks for all the messages everyone. It really helped having those to read when sitting in the waiting room at EPU for two hours.

I don't think I have good news but it is still not conclusive so another week of the waiting game I am afraid. Realstically I myself know there should be more visible by now, but as the sac had grown there's no way they can just rule it out and do an ERPC and get it over with! I would almost rather that happened but I have to wait for another scan on Thurs. I almost just want to get on with it so I can try again next time.

The sac had grown and there is now a yolk sac - measurements were: 12mm x 7mm x 8 mm (compared to 11 x 5 x 8) on the 1st August. They think that is still in the '5 week +' mark which obviously isn't great in terms of being at an LMP date of 8 weeks and a possible ovulation date of 7 weeks.

Rather annoyingly though, as I am being seen for recurrent miscarriage and treated for very high NK cells, it will be 4 weeks tomorrow since I had the last intralipids treatment for this. And on the off chance there could be something alive in there I don't think I have any choice but to go ahead with these tomorrow, just to make sure I have given it every chance. So there's another rather pointless, possibly fruitless £350 spent on a probably not viable pregnancy.

Hope everyone else is having a better day than me! xx

I'm so sorry freelance that you don't have a conclusive answer to help you move on.

Can you delay the intralipid appt to Friday?

freelance how frustrating to not get an answer one way or the other. I guess it is good news that there is now a yolk sac?

I don't really know anything about the intralipid thing but am really sorry you've got another week of limbo

freelance I am sorry you didn't get a conclusive answer today :( how frustating when you just want to know what is happening.

quietly mentalling away here about my scan on friday. lots of work to do but having trouble concentrating. have been feeling not so nauseous lately which is also concerning. aaagh

Fingers crossed for Friday for yiou Stitch.

I'm sure the amount of mental torture we have to go through must be against our human rights in some way? Maybe we should start a petition to the EU to complain about not being allowed daily scans :(

Or the opposite! I think if/when I miscarry and get pregnant again I won't have a scan booked until 10 weeks! That way there is nothing I can do and I know it is still a reasonably early cut off point.

just popping by to give freelance a virtual hug.
x

and just also to say I know exactly what you mean freelance I completely ignored this pregnancy until week eight, turned down early scans but caved during week eight because I knew by that time it would be conclusively non-viable if it was non-viable and then ignored it agan until twelve weeks - it's how I got through the first trimester- and if that's how you feel then that's absolutely what you should do.

freelance so sorry you didn't get confirmation either way today, the waiting must be just awful. Thinking of you x

freelance sorry you are still in limbo and having to wait. I guess it's good though that there has been some growth. They won't write it off unless there's an empty sac of 20mm+ with no embryo. Hope you will know soon and fingers crossed for a good outcome.

I am freaking out today. STUPIDLY I got another CB digi out. The last one said 3+ even though it was much too early (3 days at least).Todays only said 2-3. I know that technically this is still correct until tomorrow or Friday, but I panicked as it had gone down. I should not have done the darned things. Using the same urine sample as the CB I dunked a cheapie and got a much darker line than I did on Monday. Annoyingly I will feel the need to splurge on more digis now. I should try to resist. All afternoon I have been thinking, Oh my boobs are less sore, I am not so burpy today, perhaps the bean is not growing.

Anyway in 2 days time I will be on my holiday. I will take NO sticks with me (that is the current plan anyway). I will not even think about being diffed, except food and drink stuff. That way, when I see the consultant when I get back, if it is game over I will not have wasted the time, I will have had a nice time even if I come back to shitness. If all is good, I will have had a doubly good time.

Actually that is what I want to be thinking. In reality I am seriously worrying.

freelance I'm sorry you didn't get a conclusive answer again this week. I can understand how horrible the waiting must be. Hope you are okay x

Sorry to hear what you're going through Freelance. I think that it's good that you'll be on holiday soon, hopefully it'll be a bit of a distraction, as much as it can be.
Biscuits I can understand what you mean about the worry of having to TTC all over again, each month ends up feeling like a very long time!

I think that if I have bad news on Friday, and I do manage to get pregnant again, I will not test until at least 2 weeks late. I'm feeling so anxious about the scan, still having a bit of bleeding and still not really feeling any symptoms to speak of.