30's TTC - BESH fight club. Come and get your anger out here.

[MadameBoo]

The first rule of the BESH fight club is that you don't talk about how easy it was to get updiffed.
The second rule is that you don't talk about the BESH fight club.

There you go. We have a destroyed spa to fight in - we just weren't relaxed enough.

Bring it on bitches.

My absence is very bad news related. I left a long ranty message in the Deli. Will probably have it deleted as it's a proper downer. And I think I may be absent for a while... am crying a little too much right now.

Oh brownie I have read your other post and I am so so sorry. You are right, the system is seriously fucked up and it is desperately unfair that this has been allowed to happen. Do you have any more avenues in the legal system (appeal?) or is there nothing at all that you can do? Big hugs to you

Happy Birthday boo a-licious, getting down with the dishes. (As per all birthdays obv.)

OK, I now have bugger and kat on fb whom I've tried to pass on to starcunty, sunny and boo - so we're missing eurochick - with her cloak of anonymity and mystique! (vodka and fag ash more like)

PS Beware bugger fb power. Just crashed my lappy when I was stalking checking out her page.

I got two bars on teh shag dictator for my birthday! Smallboo is going for a sleepover with his mates tonight. Fingers crossed for a birthday win tonight!

It's very reassuring isn't it boo? Getting those bars prooooooves beyond all doubt that your hormones are working just as you suspected they are and that the fault lies with the WHITE GOODS!

I have gazed back into my crystal ball. your birthday chart seems very auspicious. I predict a shag may be lucky.

Is it your first month on the Dictator regime? If so beware. When i first started using it it gave me 2 bars for 6 days before showing me the egg! I was knackered after that.

Oh dear. I suspect if me and Mr Boo do the sechs 6 days running we may both end up in A&E.

Brownie dearest. I'm so sorry. Poor MrBrown and miniMrBrown. And poor you. It makes me so angry the way that poor behaviour is constantly rewarded in this country. She sounds completely unhinged.

Can I come in? I've been lurking since the dawn of time and have brought gin!

It's my birthday and I am feeling magnanimous. If you have been lurking for ever then you know that you must fill in the BESHtionnaire.

I love your name too :)

Cunty I've been in bed all morning and Lucas and Aragorn haven't turned up yet. Ive got to get up and go out now - hope they don't come while I'm out.

Hello Maud!
Thanks for the gin, am slugging it out of the bottle.
You can come in if you are a bitter old crone who knows that ttc is a bit harder than accidentally slipping onto a penis. And if you like random acts of internet violence and leering over some dodgy choices of men. Lesbo action and nekkid dancing also a prerequisite.

More importantly, Pliz to be finding and submitting the Beshtionnaire for our amusement.

Dave Gahan, of course, isn't dodgy at all. Maybe he's going to come too?

Ooh an intitation ceremony? You'll be wanting to see my party trick with the handful of Wotsits and the cucumber then?

Where is one to be finding the beshtionnaire pliz?

The beshtionnaire can be found by using the search facility. Somewhere on a previous thread, someone will have filled one in. You can copy, amend and paste. It will allow you to discover some of the ancient scrolls of BESH.
So yes, just type beshtionnaire into the search box.

Oh and yes, do show us your party trick! I never knew one could have such fun with cheesy wotsits.

bugger I has drunk all the gin. You have wrestled an empty bottle off me. Ha!

Ahem..

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

Yes. But I am missing an enzyme (apparently) and get drunk on a thimbleful!

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Cougar. Dh is three years younger

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

c

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

b

6. what colour are your walls?

Off-white until recently, but we?ve just moved house back to 1985 décor-wise

7. Number of pets?

2 oppressed cats, 1 toddler who likes chasing them

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

David Mitchell

9. Lesbian crush?

Maud Lebowski, obviously!

10. What are your views on camping?

If it doesn?t come with a kingsize bed, woodburner and flushing toilets I?m out.

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

iii- I might build something creative out of them, y?know, as you do?.

Thanks for the pointer Kat, would have found it myself obviously but

Oh you have been doing your homework

So how old is toddler? And how long have you been trying? Me and Cunty are both on number 2 as well. And not being very fruitful at it at all - gah.

Google is your friend Bugger.

AIBU that I like to MN on my birthday?