30's TTC - BESH fight club. Come and get your anger out here.

[MadameBoo]

The first rule of the BESH fight club is that you don't talk about how easy it was to get updiffed.
The second rule is that you don't talk about the BESH fight club.

There you go. We have a destroyed spa to fight in - we just weren't relaxed enough.

Bring it on bitches.

Evening BESH. Hope OrangeO got on ok today. Have you heard that Milano has layed?! How exciting.

Euro no wonder you are frustrated. Things take long enough without people losing your referral. Grrr. Hope you find someone to speak to who can help you.

My FC visit was short and to the point today. The consultant said we have feck all chance of getting diffed naturally sees as Mr Shiney's white goods are basically shit. So we are now on the IVF list. No dildocam required. MS had a blood test to check for chromosome abnormality, that takes 10 weeks for the results. If that's all ok then we get another appointment to begin treatment about a month after the test results.

Oh Sunny, gosh. well, at least you know now a bit of what's going to happen. Sounds so brutal being said to you, I imagine. Give Mr Shiney a manly punch on the arm from me. Is he ok?

I was glad that the consultant was not up for any more faffing around IYKWIM. If he thinks that's the best course of action then bring on the big guns! MrS seems ok. He's out with work tonight so no doubt having a few beers to cheer himself up. How are you getting on with Herr Shag Diktator Rie?

Bring it on then Sunny, and the ESH will hold your hand beat you to a pulp whilst it's happening.

sunny it is at least a good job you didn't needlessly wax your muff for the dildocam. Must be quite a daunting prospect having to do ivf but it is much better than them sending you off to keep trying if it is never going to happen that way.
And it sounds like they will not be keeping you on waiting list forever which is great

anyone heard news from bitey? All this laying is very exciting.

eurochick I don't want to piss you off and have you "go medieval on my ass" (I have seen your rants on mn, you is one evil no-nonsense lady) - but I believe you wipe your fanjo and bumsex hole with fivers - why don't you go private? Initial tests would be 100s rather than 1000s - and even if you have to IVF/ISCI you're talking 1000s not millions.

sunhine I can think of at least one CRESH whose husband had shoddy white goods and they were laughed out of the fertility clinic. She got a FUFC during a drunken solitary "we'll never be parents" shag one month. Just one shag. Just one lone swimmer and now she has a baybee. See? Dreamssss can come true doo dooo doo do do doooooh.

Obviously I have no idea quite how bad Mr. Sunshine's white goods are, but I do have a friend whose husband was declared "barren" and she force-fed him vitamins/healthy food and insisted he knocked the fags/booze on the head. His SA was a marked improvement at the next test - almost within the realms of "normal".

boo I'm delighted to hear you've found the on/off switch. Wrt to showing MrBoo - maybe not? I showed JB and it put the fear up him when he turned it on to see 3 bars and annegg. Stage fright - the useless sods.

Alps MrBoo can just concentrate on turning me on. Ba-dum-tish :o

Actually, Pony, it's 20s. I don't do things by half measures.

I think we will end up going private. I was hoping to get a little way along the road on the NHS first. Partly because despite earning a nice salary I am actually tighter than a gnat's fango and partly because I haven't had anything out of the NHS for about 10 years (bar a couple of antibiotic/painkiller scripts) and it's about time I got something back. You're supposed to pay in according to means (fair enough) and get out according to need. Well, I need! But frankly I am too old and impatient to wait around on a point of principal so next week I'm researching private clinics and trying to make an appointment for when we are back off our hols.

Also, I get the impression that private clinics tend to fast track you to IVF/ICSI because it gets results. Having seen a close friend do it, I know it is a tough route so I would prefer to get there trying less invasive things if I can. But hopefully I can find a clinic that will do things my way.

Sunny I am glad there was no pointless muff waxing.

Yeah, I agree hide the shag dictator and make him think you are overcome with lust. my trick this month on my positive opk day was to go to bed, in my underwear, for a "nap" about half an hour before MrK was due home. Once he came home to find me in bed in my underwear, the rest was relatively easy.
In the winter, it was not unknown for him to come home from work a couple of times a month and find me naked in the bath. He seems to take the hint quite well in general.

I have been poking my boobs. They now hurt. Am I pregnant? (am quite riled after seeing some really dumb threads recently - feel like renaming myself as KlairvoyantKat and seeing if these people who cant just piss on sticks for an answer believe what I say when I look into my crystal ball)

eurochick Sooooo, you admit you have a bumsex hole then eh? Case closed m'lud. I'm sure if you ask on one of the AC threads someone can point you in the direction of a friendly clinic. At least you'll be able to get white goods/bloods done and then you can make a decision about what next. E.g., they gave lozzer Clomid when there was no evidence to suggest she wasn't ovulating. Bonkers and a waste of money. If you want your value for money out of the NHS have you considered being in an accident? Falling off a ladder and breaking a bone? Contracting a tropical disease? I hear they throw money at ebola cases.

That is a good point about fast tracking. There is no point wasting time on cheaper options if ivf will get the job done quicker for you. I don't know what the NHS procedure is before you get to that stage, but at least if you go private you can fast forward to the heavy duty options.

aries how did Neph's operation go? Hope he is doing well.

E.g., JIAP procedure comes in at around 100 quid and he gets to have a WANK WITH A NURSE! What red-blooded male would not want such a gift-voucher for his birthday/august bank holiday?

The GP actually ordered one round of blood tests and a white goods test (all fine) so we have got that far. But no doubt spenny clinic will want them all redone.

kat I adopt similar methods. I never tell him that the OPK or ovary aches say we must DO IT NOW but if i stick on tat from Ann Summers, he seems to get the hint (such simple creatures, men).

pony I possess have a bumsex hole but I have a tattoo above it saying "exit only". I might give the tropical disease thing a go. I'm off to Malta next month. I wonder what I can pick up there. Maybe I need to go further afield.

Malta? Shark bites. The waters off Malta are of course breeding grounds for the great white. Also, during a visit to Comino I saw Brigitte Nielson getting pumped. Spermy water. :( Or, if you tweet like a bird a local will shoot you. Or if you use the public toilets in the city you'll pick up something wicked normally only found in central africa.

Ahem. Re great whites, there are plenty in the eastern Med. But I don't know if they breed there. There was even talk of them having come up through the Suex Canal.

Babyfail number 60056 is on its way

Am liking the hints & tips of how to fool your man that you're really hot for him when in actual fact it's just 3barsandaneggday

Euro If we went private we would see the same consultant we see now. I asked him about it & he said in our area we are just as well having our one go on the NHS as the waiting / testing times are about the same.

Saying all that I think I got some return from the NHS this morning - have spent it in A&E as I have a random knee injury, can't walk. The nice lady gave me an X ray, a referral to the knee clinic & some crutches!

Rie bollocks to the droid.

Please namechange KairvoyantKat

Random knee injury Sunny or just repetitive strain injury from all the fecking shagging? . Here, have this here fluffy cushion to rest your poor knees on while I do a little dance for you (I have been drinking cider and I feel a bit loose, oo-er).

The second day of the hearing got put off until Monday. So we mostly have torture for the weekend. Fuckity fuck fuck. Rie - sorry to hear about the umpteenth droid on it's way. Please have <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=steel+capped+boots+for+women&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&sa=N&rls=en&biw=1280&bih=680&tbm=isch&tbnid=kS0FaFto31wRcM:&imgrefurl=www.spookyboutique.com/steel-toe-boots.shtml&docid=y-QHOLw-reTcBM&w=218&h=220&ei=DzkzTsKtOtC98gOcp9SgDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=474&vpy=65&dur=50&hovh=176&hovw=174&tx=68&ty=119&page=1&tbnh=129&tbnw=133&start=0&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">these for kicking it into next week.

Kat - please do change your name.

Hello there Boo!