30's TTC - BESH fight club. Come and get your anger out here.

[MadameBoo]

The first rule of the BESH fight club is that you don't talk about how easy it was to get updiffed.
The second rule is that you don't talk about the BESH fight club.

There you go. We have a destroyed spa to fight in - we just weren't relaxed enough.

Bring it on bitches.

Was lovely to 'see' you last night Macca by the way.

I am shutting the laptop down now. I am.

Right. . It's about time this got a kicking for not giving you all a fucking break. Maybe this is the only language it understands

Boo Am shit on t'internet and seem to only manage to participate on one fred at a time but I always BESH-watch. In a non-pervy way. Well, sometimes in a pervy way

I BESH watch all the time too. Just think of me like a friendly Shelob the spider spying down on Frodo, but ready to dispense patronising advice fishly guts to any whom may be in need of them. Sorry for the Droidly activity Sunny.

What drugs you on buggeration? Are you seeing a fertility consultant about your non periods?

Hello schlaags. Am back from my nice dildocam sesh. It would seem that my uterus is very nice looking etc. The joy of this was ruined by having to sit in the waiting rroom with all the 20 week differ and their scan pics. Grrr. Reckon i would be 20 weeks if ihadn't lost it. Fucking insensitive hospital.

Sorry about droid sunny am hammering it very hard for you

I am shit at lurking cos I keep chipping in. Oh well.

Kitty that is a massive heap of arse. Hospital deserves thorough going-over with a muck-spreader for not having a proper waiting room for the will-be-diffed-in-the-near-future as opposed to the diffed-and-smug-about-it. Actually, the smug bastards can wait outside in the rain. I've always favoured approaching all scans with an expression of sweaty terror on my face.

Buggeroo I read that as No Is This The One?. Let us hope it is.

Sunny shite. Pliz to take it out on Mark Owen.

I'm Bbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkkk!!
I have a fully paid up three year old, and we got 'Good' in Ofsted, which is a miracle of biblical proportions (not cos we ain't good, you understand, but our kids are fucking 'challenging' to say the least, and it's amazing to get the credit we deserve) so am Well Chuffed and Liable to Drink All The left Over Party Alcohol.

Glad to see you've kept the place ticking over nicely with random acts of violence while I've been working/partying.

sunnyD can I see you in the changing room for secret consoling hug that no one can see, and then I'll take your rusty fucker for a few rounds in the ring. I'll even release share Chris O'Dowd with you for a bit.

I have pmt, pre droid boobs, pre droid stomach cramps, and a guilty conscience after drinking Too Much this month, so looking v neg here, been such a chaotic last week feel marginally less bothered, though it does make me fancy a drink... am going to have to go on that we don't drink busty babes thread soon...

I will join in the secrey hugs Sunny :( It is indeed a great big pile of wank.

The of course I will affectionately beat you with this paddle (saw the nautical theme did you?)

Kat, it IS insensitive, not to mention cruel. Surely a different room would be all it need take.

I have got to shag tonight I am still very post pukey and don't feel like it at all. But I had two bars on T'Computer (two days later than last month interestingly. Will that be because of the puke?)

I shopuld be shagging tonight too. But a friend is coming round. AIBU to ask her to wait downstairs for 5 minutes while MrBoo attempts to impregnate me?

Night watch? Anyone? Have read book, but typically can't remember enough to compare and contrast, but will vaguely remember plots -lesbian baths? Anyone?- which will annoy me. Lesbian in bath had refreshingly normal buzwams though.

boo how long do your friends stay? can you not do it after? It's not like it takes you long.

rameses I met little mark once. I fear I may have told the tale before. I have a picture and everything.

I, for one, do luff the lurking differs. when I am diffed, I shall lurk all the time. Course , by that time, the fred will be empty cos everyone else will be too, and it shall just be like going into a big shed, or air craft hanger. Probably quite good acoustics though. I might sing a bit.

I love that image, Starry. All of us waddling fatly into the Palais and yelling "Hellooooooooo!" and it echoing around because everyone has left, diffed.

Is this a good point to admit I sometimes lurk on the PESH Fred? I like to know who's laying & you learn an awful lot about baybees.

Moley how wonderful is Chris o'Dowd? I luff him now I've seen that film. Also remembered how much I used to listen to that Wilson Philips song.

Rie I think the puke can affect the eggs < dons White coat whilst talking scientifically>

smooches Slaps Boo & Barb for good measure.

I too should be shagging tonight. Can I have a sick note? I'm tired. And the bloke is dozing on the sofa so as usual I will have to do the seduction (by which I mean, saying "oi, you, bedroom".

bugger that fred is properly boakworthy. Rie, don't look.

GRRRR
In the red corner, the dreaded droid, in the blue corner cherryaddict... Same old story for me too :(
Please all put on these steel toe capped boots and beat the dreaded one into oblivion

These fucking droids just don't get the bloody message do they? FUCK THE FUCK OFF BESH DROIDS.

There. Hope that does it.

Night Watch Mole? The one with the vampires? I can't remember the sapphic bit . We have the dvd, will have to have a look.

Friend has just left. MrBoo is well into playing Asassins Creed and I just want to MN for a bit and then go to sleep. Am searching for some energy, but think MrBoo may be a problem.

I post on the PESH fred sometimes. I get very excited about their diffedness. I think they don't mind.

Loads of us are all shagging at the same time? < Demands cluster diff from youniverse>

Yay cunty well done bet you are glad that Is over.

Hope the shags happened. I did one for solidarity even though i am only on day six. Funsechs. Haven't done that in a while!

Would it be unreasonable to ask consultant for picture of uterus? Loads of my mates have a photo of theirs on Facebook and my womble is feeling all left out.

Profile pictures of scans make me go

Pictures of scans are fine. In small doses.

For those needing to do the sechs but feeling like they would rather not.

Kat that is horrible and archaic. Surely it isn't that difficult to make a seperate waiting bit for different circumstances? I remember walking through the room of loads of differs waving their scan pictures about on my way to the D & C ward after being told of my MMC. Utter shite.

I found my son's umbilical cord in the bookcase, JB thought I might've wanted to keep it? Um, no thanks sweetie.

I can't belieeeeeeeeeve how much of The Sechs you're all doing, you'll all be diffed for sho. Aries Very interesting about the 2 bars indeed, without the Dictator you'd have forced MrA to shag you and it would've been a WASTE OF EFFORT!

boo Am am actually going to the post office for reals in about an hour and have the apparatus packed and your address written down. Not that you'll need it of course because you're clearly already diffed!

Bugger Laughing at the ridiculous on mn is the only true path of bitterness channeling. Even after you've won your babyee in true ESH style, you can still take the piss. E.g., a cursory glance on the Pregnancy board will reveal such gems as "OMG can I eat a pork pie?" and one of my favourites of all time, not pg board, was "OMG I bumped the pram on the step coming out of my house, will my baybeeee die of shaken baybee syndrome?". Seriously, some should not be ALLOWED to breed! Dicks.

Well done starcunty on all your superior achievements!

You may now all tell me to fuck off of course, but I was wondering if it would be appropriate for the next BESH thread to have a "welcome/audition" type title with the questionnaire prominently on the front page and a descrption of what an ESH is. So that you don't get 21 year olds who've been married 6 days and are 5 days late MOG!

It smells of spunk in this Palace.

Is that what it is? I thought it was brie

MOG! Right back atcha, Pony.

Well I wimped out of dtd last night. And then went for a half asleep wee later and found the magical EWCM! Gah! But by then I was so sleepy I just couldn't do it. I will jump Mr euro tonight and hope that we haven't missed our chance.

The acupuncturist said she hoped the snake oil agnus castus would bring my ov forward. That's all well and good but not so much that it takes me by surprise dammit! Yesterday was only CD 11. I usually ov between CD 15 and 17. I've only been taking the snake oil for a week!

(can you tell I am a bit A Noid that I might have missed the egg this month?)

This has got to result in a clusterdiff. I insist. Universe, do you hear me???

euro without wanting to venture down the route of discussing bodily fluids too far, my FFJ (or EWCM as they like to call it) never arrived at the same time as my magic 3 bars thingy on the shag dictator (like you, around day 11/12 but ov around day 15/16). I took this as a sign that my body didn't know what the feck it was doing. I think in retrospect it did, though, it just wanted to organise the Sechs about 3/4 days earlier than the ovulation. So I reckon you haven't missed your slot, so to speak, and should jump Mr Euro as planned!

Pone I also laughed my arse off at the 'can I eat a pork pie'. Why the fuck would you not be able to eat a pork pie??

Now if you will excuse me I am going off to carry some cake.