Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

Hi rud and cake nice to see you, pull up a bar stool.

I'm 33, was TTC first baby for nearly 18 months and the lovely ladies on here have kept me drunk sane since the beginning.

Am now finally knocked up and dreading awaiting 12 week scan next week.

rud you are supposedly more fertile after having been knocked up so fingers crossed!

cake have you had any fertility tests or anything done yet?

Now, in these parts we issue regulation glasses

Let's fill these bad boys with some champers to welcome you both

cheers!

crossed posts desperate

ah chicken, forgive me but I do think you will just be replacing one obsession with another if you go down the charting route?

It will be something you obsess about daily rather than for 2 weeks if that makes sense?

If you work on the principle that most women ovulate around day 14 - some later and some earlier but generally in the middle of your cycle. On this premise if you have sex on days 10, 12, 14, 16 and 18 you are likely to catch the golden egg?

Have you had your day 2 and day 21 blood tests done? If you have ignore this but they can tell you if you are ovulating and they can assess the hormone levels to tell the 'strength' of your egg as such?

If you haven't had this done I think it's something you should look into

mwah x

Hey wino. I think I've been avoiding the whole going down the medical route really. I think if things AREN'T working, then it will be a final slap in the face for me.

I know that I've been ovulating at around days 13/14 and that I have a cycle length of 29 days (which doesn't change), so my luteal phase is 'normal'. I think I'll go and see the doc next week then if AF comes this weekend as I fully expect her to.

I'll be truthful, I'm not that obsessive to be honest. But at least if I was temping, I'd know that as soon as my temp dropped I was 'out'. But yeah, I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and go and see the doc. Arse!

I'm so glad that you got your BFP hon. Very exciting for you xx

And as I'm so bloody old (44), I don't have the luxury of time to try different fertility options. Why did Mr Desperate take so bloody long to appear in my life?

Thanks for the warm welcome!

wino No, we havent had any tests done yet. I saw the docs a few months ago about something else, and mentioned that we had been trying with no luck. He basically said to absolutely go for it between days 14 to 18 and if still nothing happened to come back and see him after 12 months.
So thats next month.

Thing is, I was on the pill for 13 years, so obviously i dont know how long its going to take for all the hormone to come out of my body. My skin has been awful since i came off, but the last month has cleared up a bit so i'm taking that as a good sign.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's still early days, but as you ladies know, its so disheartening.

Especially when the paper reports bloody Peaches Geldof is up the duff...

Christ, sorry about the essay there!

wino congratulations on your BFP! :)

desperate will keep all fingers and toes crossed for you. :)

Hey wino great news on the pregnancy!

desperate can I highly recommend accupuncture? I know lots and lots of peeps will roll their eyes at this BUT after a year of TTC no 1 and getting no where I went down this route and by the 3rd cycle of treatment I was pg! I did have to chart, you know, temps and all that for the accu lady to see how my body was doing stuff and it does help to know where you are. I have looooong cycles which is a pain as my opportunities are somewhat more limited but there you go.

cake hang in there and yes, go for it hammer and tongs! the more sperm the more chance there is of one of them getting that damned egg! What I didn't realise when hubby and I started ttc was that there's a 20-25% chance of conceiving each cycle! HOW on earth do so many people manage it without trying?????

Thanks rudbekia. I've had accupuncture for something else in the past and I had a bad reaction to it, so I'm loathe to try it again, I'm afraid.

My cycles are 29 days, I either ov on the 13th or 14th day, and I never really get variations to that, so at least I can say I'm regular (almost as clockwork).

AF got me this morning (), so I'm going to make an appointment to see the lady doc at my surgery this week to see if I can get some bloodwork done or something.

Fuck Peaches, fuck her right in the ear (South Park reference, which comes in useful sometimes).

Just dropping in for a small gin and juice. Who drank all the Bombay Sapphire?

And fucking massive congrats, Tabby!

Peaches Geldof is a cunt, FACT

She looked like a drug addict of the front of the paper the other day, grim!

desperate if you're determined to subject yourself to some daily mentalling then the most effective way to go would be the Clearblue Digital Fertility Monitor - I used it for around 8 months and it will show you your peak days so you know when to jump Mr Desperate. It shows your hormones building so will give you a clearer idea of your cycle.

You need to view the doctors as a postive step really, it's a natural progression, if you're 44 then as you say, you really don't have time to waste - they could give you a cycle of Clomid and boom, that could work? So why put it off?

Christ, I feel like I'm telling you off, I'm not trying to I promise, I'm merely saying that if you haven't fallen naturally yet then don't see medical intervention as a possible failure or someone telling you no, see it as a potential source of help and knowledge?

Someone on here a while back was scared about going to docs and someone wisely said, who cares about the way you get your baby if you get your baby?

That's all we want isn't it?

cake My cousin was on the pill for around 10 years and it took her body 8 months before she had a period and then another 6 months before she conceived her first baba. She now has three!

rud I had just started to think about acupunture, to be honest I was a bit skeptical in the past about it and then I thought well, I might have a look into it because I'd heard of a few people getting knoced up after having trouble ttc when thye had a course.

I looked at a few websites and emailed a woman offering sessions near me - low and behold two days later I got my BFP - so now I think it must be super powerful if all I did was look on some websites :)

ahem, it may have been me with the gin jars but here, I brought some more :)

jewels you there buddy? worried about you :(

I don't believe it! I did a MASSIVE long reply, and Mumsnet decided to go offline for a few minutes and so it all got lost.

Upshot:

Don't worry wino, I know you're not telling me off - just trying to talk some sense into me. I'm being a big girl's blouse, basically. Anyhoo, I've made an appointment to see my doctor next Tuesday afternoon (first one I could get!), and I'll have a chat with her then and see where we go from here.

While I'm at it, I want to know what in the name of holy fuck is going on with my body! This last two weeks before my period arrived, I was dizzy, nauseous, my boobs were so painful it felt like someone had been hitting them repeatedly with a baseball bat, and to cap it all, I'm now having the period FROM HELL! I'm in so much pain, all I want to do at the moment is be in bed, curled around a hot water bottle and stuffed full of co-codamol. I'm never usually this bad. Thing is though, aside from the crippling pain in my stomach, I feel absolutely fine. But the pre-period issues are just not 'normal' for me.

Anyway, pass me one of those g&ts. I know it's early, but it's shaping up to be a complete bastard of a day LOL!

Hello gang. Happy New Year! Hope you all had proper good ones, like.
Firstly, apologies that the formatting of this post is all ?!?-y. I?m in the office and writing in word to do a covert cut-and-paste into MN when no-one?s looking. Secondly, apologies for going awol (yet again) ? (lots of contributory factors; all tedious) and ignoring all the newbs/returnees. Hi folks.

Mr j&b and I have taken the New Year plunge and are going to the docs together this afternoon. (I really really wanted to see my lovely new GP who I fell a bit in love with during the whole post ERPC infection debacle but rang the surgery to make the appt and?she?s on maternity leave. Gah!) So we are seeing some random, and if they are not nice and understanding I will cry. To be honest I will probably cry if they are nice and understanding, but it will be a better quality of tear. Off in a sec, so will report back soonish.

Wino ? in my head it?s your scan tomo and I have everything crossed for you whether in fact that?s right or I?ve just made it up. Jars, Fish respeck, innit . Laters.

Yay!

Ah my lovely, missed you! Glad to 'hear your voice' as such....

docs sounds like a good plan, crying is pretty much on the agenda me thinks, hope you got someone lovely and understanding. Let us know what happens?

you have a bloody good memory, scan is indeed tomorrow and to say I am dreading it is an understatement - after everything you and fish have been through I am petrified quite frankly.

Will post tomorrow after I've been.

Hi all,

I have read through all previous posts, honest, but my eyes and brain are hurting as a result of being up since 4.30-fricking-am (thanks, DS!) so I'm sorry if I don't have any pearls of wisdom to offer.

Wino, is it your scan tomorrow? Hope it goes well! I have a scan in a few weeks at which point I will find out how many weeks pregnant I am and will therefore hopefully feel a lot better - I am finding it very unnerving not to know if I am 7 weeks or 10 weeks or what. My symptoms have suddenly improved plus I have had stomach pains so obviously I am quietly panicking that something has gone wrong (although I have probably just got wind!!).

I have been invited to a group session to find out about antenatal testing. Is this normal? Things have certainly changed in the last couple of years - I wonder if it's because of cuts or something? Anyway, the thought of it is slightly freaking me out because obviously I haven't told anyone I'm pregnant yet and knowing my luck I'm bound to see someone I know!

No gin here, only decaff tea and coffee and boring old squash. The most exciting it gets is a glass of ginger beer - woo bloody hoo!

scan done

one veyr much alive baby, very wriggly and non-compliant (bit like its mother)

feeling 100 years younger than I did this morning!

Yay! Great news wino! So glad to hear everything is ok.

Ah excellent news wino. The Becks Blues are on me!

Hiya desperate. Hope your GP appointment goes well next week (no doubt will "see" you before then anyway!)

jewels, good to see you back m'dear. How did your GP appointment go?

Quick to tabby, rudbeckia, cake, jars.

Jewels, great to "see" you! Hope the doc was lovely and had a good supply of tissues. I cried at my doc the other year when she was the first to believe I had actual abdominal pain rather than just Silly Cow Syndrome. They are used to it, sob away. Hope you and Mr Jewels are okay.

Wino, dahlink, fab news! Now you have a weird limbo period until your 16 week MW appointment when you get to hear the little bugger's heartbeat! So glad all okay, now get the Clairol on those grey bits and pass the remaining chocolate tree decorations. I can see them. Hand over.

Desperate, bummer, sounds dreadful, matey. Have some more gin in your gin and a hot water bottle filled with, guess what? No! It was rum! We're out of gin now. Dunno why the weird period but there was a whole thread of "why the fuck are my periods evil now I'm 40?" raging the other day. Hmm.

I have a well-behaved 20 week foetus but a very naughty placenta, it's official, so will be rescanned at 32 weeks to see if it's stopped being stupid and stepped away from the cervix. Only time will tell, so I'm now going to go and have a medicinal 125ml of Gavi. And all the Quality Street except the fucking awful strawberry and orange ones. Yuk.

Thanks jars, it has been on the miserable side. What with that and having a grotty headcold that wouldn't bugger off, Xmas was a bit on the challenging side. At least I had my sense of taste back by Xmas day as Mr Desperate cooked a lovely dinner - bless him, he looked after me good and proper while I was poorly.

More gin in my gin sounds fantastic. Although I'm so tired it would probably make me fall asleep at my desk!

May check out that other thread if I can find it.

Sorry to hear about the silly placenta. Hopefully it will sort itself out soon. Mmmmm Gaviscon. Is it just me or does it taste like liquid Germolene? Bleurgh.

What's wrong with the strawberry and orange ones? And why don't they have any coffee ones? Snot fair!

Firstly, wino you little beauty, so pleased to hear it. Congrats! Now relax and enjoy. Sure yours will be fine too tabby. We seem to be on to a run of wins.

Jars, can?t believe you?re 20 weeks. Glad all well behaved save for the placenta. You could always threaten to turn it to a smoothie a la women on program on C4 last night. That might jolt it into shifting ? afterbirth smoothie is really a step too far for rightminded types (all that pureed banana ? BOAK!) In similar vein I?m with you on the quality street fruit crèmes. Also boak.

Desperate, if your dr?s appt next week goes anything like mine on tues, it will go like this:

She will refer you for ultrasound (although that?s for my ridiculous post ERPC slasher movie style periods it might be the same for your ongoing period woes);

She will refer you for Day 3 and Day 21 (ish) bloods to see if you?re egging to plan;

She will refer Mr desperate for jizz-tests which have to be handed in within minutes of knocking one off in the sex haven that is that the gents toilet in UCH/ your nearest hospital;

She will be quite sympathetic and try to make the frankly paltry % of perfectly fertile people who can be expected not to conceive in the time you have been trying to sound mathematically reassuring;

She will fail at the above;

She will warn you not to use ovulation kits because they will make you loopy (to which you will look all blank and innocent);

And then she will warn you whatever else you may do don?t fall prey to google or all the madness on the internet ?like the crazies on mumsnet? (to which you will continue to look all blank and innocent despite Mr desperate?s smirking attempts to catch your eye)

Fact.

I think she probably meant the babydusters, but still?

Anyway, it was good, I think. We both feel like it was positive. Thanks for asking guys.

OK, well my last cut-and-paste worked ok for formatting so here?s trying for another, more ambitious number? (this may be the answer to my sporadic posting history, this pretending-to-be-diligently-working whilst MNetting like a good un. I?ve even slipped into the lingo more than usual. Ref: the boaks above [proud]. )

Still, I had better do something proper before I have to fire myself

Laters my lovelies

Bwahahahaha jars "jizz tests"...I nearly spat my coffee over my desk, and my colleague was wondering what I was sniggering at - I'm not supposed to be MNetting at work!

Thanks for the helpful info on the doc's visit though. I'm kind of hoping the problem is with me - I know that sounds daft, but Mr Desperate is quite shy and I really don't know how he'd manage with the thought of knocking one off in a jar!! Though it would give me a giggle! Would it be rude to watch?! Bwahahahaha...just me who's a bit of a dirty old bugger then?

I think my 3.5 hours sleep last night is catching up with me and sending me a bit hysterical. I've been sleeping terribly since just after Xmas and I'm averaging between 3 and 4 hours a night which, for a manic depressive isn't good as it's likely to send me sky high! Ah well, it's better than being Mrs. Misery from Miseryville, isn't it?

Hope you're all having a good day. Better go do some work now

hurrah for the docs jewels - sounds all good and that things will move quickly for you now.

and I definitely think she meant the babydusters not us, we're completely normal ahem, moving onnnnnnnn

very cunning re the cut and paste!

good weekend all?

In the wino household we mainly slept, caught up on the killing season 2, made and then consumed curry - twas bliss!

Can anyone top my laziness?

now, I've been googling holidays this morning that we can't afford all morning and been staring at golden sandy beaches in St Lucia and ignoring my bank balance.....

anyone for a rum punch? (served in a coconut shell of course)

Right, so I went to the doctors last night and it went like this:

"She will refer you for ultrasound" - nope

"She will refer you for Day 3 and Day 21 (ish) bloods to see if you?re egging to plan" - she only agreed to refer me for Day 3 tests (which will be next month now) and that was because I insisted - she said Day 21 tests 'weren't necessary'

"She will be quite sympathetic..." - chance would have been a fine thing - she was an utter bitch.

My appointment unfortunately went more like this:

She asked if I had been pregnant before, to which I said yes because I had fallen pregnant at 18 and had a termination (long story) and said that I thought I had had a chemical pregnancy recently. She then said "well, it's not a fertility issue, so there's nothing we can do" - end of subject basically.

What a c**t!

I am going to go and see another doctor next week - I don't think I can face going through all that again just yet. And I will arrange the day 3 blood tests when the time comes and I will INSIST that I get a day 21 test done that same month.

I feel completely disheartened. She basically told me to take lots of folic acid (which I am of course doing) and to "keep trying". I did point out the fact that I am 45 this year and I don't have forever to "keep trying".

She also bitched about the medication I take for my bipolar disorder saying that it 'wasn't helpful to conceiving'. Well, I've looked this up on proper medical sites and although one of them can have a higher risk of cleft palate in the foetus there are no recorded problems with actual conception. And I got the distinct impression from her that she felt that people with mental health issues shouldn't try and get pregnant. So basically, I just want to sit and cry.

Oh, and to cap it all, I'm probably going to be starting a new job in about 10 days which I DON'T want but have to take because there's bugger all out there and the pay is good. Thank god it's only a six month contract because it's a big corporate environment and I know it's going to make me miserable as all hell.

Sorry, that was a real MEMEMEMEMEMEME post, wasn't it? I'm going off for a bit of a cry now.

Hey desperate

Am under the cosh at work and can?t post for long, but sorry to hear that. I was thinking after I crassly posted in respect of my reasonably ok experience that maybe the reality is that there may be less the NHS are up for doing when you?re that bit older, but TBH your GP just sounds like a bit of a cow.

You are entitled to expect proper care (including re your painful periods notwithstanding questions of fertility) and proper information to inform your position, not the kind of unsympathetic fobbing off that it sounds like you got. Surely she should have properly discussed with you, now, what your PCT policies are re fertility investigations and treatment (and any eligibility criteria) and how that may impact on you. (I am not saying you need treatment ? it is early days and IIRC you weren?t actively trying at the outset, so you may well not) but I do think you need some clear info as to a longer term investigatory/treatment plan, including any limitations on what the NHS will do. As you say, the reality is that your age is an issue. Just waiting and seeing is only an option if you are happy doing that. Which you aren?t.

If, say, you might have to ultimately think about a private route at some point down the line (something to do with the dirty lucre from the new corporate place?!) surely you need to know that to inform your choices. If I were you, I would do me some googling of the investigation/treatment policies that are likely to be applicable in your area, and do go to see another GP for definite (change practices if necessary). TTC is a headfuck at the best of times let alone if you are older, and you need practitioners who understand that, and understand that its their clinical role to best safeguard and support your health (including your mental health) in the choices you make, and not to judge you for them.

So much for my quick post. It just sounded like you met with a thoughtless, unhelpful response and I wanted to acknowledge that. Hope you're doing ok today, anyway.

And where are the rest of you fuckers, particularly all you knocked up ones?! Come back! I am 2WWWing and wearing the itchy bra again. [Idiot].