Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

damn, boasted too soon about my linking skillz. Trying again...

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/02/down-with-kids-chris-cleave

you utter shitebag, you just made me ball it in the office!

I remember reading that article when it came out and have forwarded it to DH. It's gorgeous.

Wino, you loon, never click on a Mumsnet link at work!

Scan today fine, phew. Just one sprog, phew phew.

Yay jars! Brilliant news. So so pleased.

How's the wait treating youfish ? Still barfy? All fingers and toes crossed for Thurs.

And sorry wino, but you def shouldda known better!

Click

This is what it is. This quietly waiting in hope. For a life. For the time being. For seven pounds of stardust, borrowed from the dark.

And never, ever google... Oh, you know what.

Greetings earthlings! I bid you good day from the planet Spewbucket.

jewels, that had me and Mr F&J sniffling big stylee. Plus, I know what you mean about friends in RL. TBH, I don't really have any close friends other than DH, because all too often I find they let me down a bit. (I'm probably asking too much of the relationship though - I've got pretty high standards for myself and others, so when I don't get treated in the way I treat other people, I often get a bit arsy. My problem, I know!) Good show on the piss computer BTW. You may find it does the trick....

Hello to jars and wino too. Jars, great news on your scan. Wino, do you need a bucket yet?

What happened to the other promising young ladies who joined us, only to fuck off into the ether and never be heard from again? Maybe we didn't talk about pies enough?

yay Jars!!!! v v v pleased to hear that!

fish no spewing yet, am 5+1 and still nadda - should I be worried? I feel quite 'normal' (apart from sore boobs) I have turned into worrywart from hell! :(

Will be crossing everything for you on Thursday - I have my docs appointment that day too so it's taking a long time to come around!

Oh yeah, the chief executive here just asked me to go and grab a glass of wine and a chat one lunchtime with him (I gave some feedback on a project my directors were doing)

NOW he fucking asks me, it's been literally months!!!! gah!!!!!!

Wino, you may not spew at all. Or it may not start yet. Try not to worry!

That said, I am getting the jitters about Thursday. I know that there's little point in worrying, as if things are going TU again there's not a damn thing to be done about it.... but I can't help feeling uneasy.

I'd better not have gone through all this feeling crap for nowt.....

fish just a quicky to say will be thinking of you tomorrow, hope all goes well

Another one liner from me, fishter. Sure will be fine but all fingers crossed anyway.

Buon giorno ragazze,

Scan checked out fine. Just one (thank fuck) little tadpole, visible heartbeat, measuring approx 8 weeks (give or take up to a week either way). A princely 15 mm long :)

Obviously it's no guarantee that everything will continue to be OK, but it's as good as it gets.

And breathe......

Perfect; such good news, dude. I can imagine how nerve wracking that must have been. Odds are pretty sweet after you've seen a HB, no.

Cheers to you & the protofish!

yay! good one fish mega chuffed all is ok!

Woohoo! That's ace news!

Ah thanks chaps. I've been pretty weepy ever since - must have been worrying about it more than I let myself know!

Am I allowed to say I'm ever so slightly fed up with the spewing now? Only slightly though....

of course you're allowed to be fed up fish, must be horrible :(

I vote you give the little bugger a terrible haircut when he/she is big enough

that'll learn him/her....

Here is a bucket of ginger ale....

wino, I fully intend to embarrass all of my sprogs at every given opportunity. I've already vowed to go into DS's room when he's 16 or thereabouts, at around 3am, and go "WAAAAAAHHHH!" And when he blearily asks me WTF I'm doing, I shall say it's payback for the first 6 months of his life. Never mind the photos which are kept in reserve for showing to girlfriends/boyfriends/fiance(e)s.

Had a day off from the spewing yesterday, which was nice but rather worrying. (Yeah, I know, some people are never satisfied!) It sidled back with a leer this morning though.

jars, jewels, you both OK?

And is there anybody else out there?

Blimey, is that a tumbleweed I see blowing through here?

Think so fish!

How goes the sickness??? have you vomited up vital organs yet or has it improved?

In my world I am shitting myself quietly stressing about things I can't control, aside from really sore boobs and being a bit sleepy I have zero symptoms and feel utterly normal so whilst I am very pleased to not be spending most of my time with my head down various loos it still is freaking me out...

jewels , jars - you ok ladies?

Here, made some cosmos....

whispers miss you all.....

Hello my dears,

Jewels, how goes it? It has gone awfy quiet round these parts recently. Are you okay?

I have been arse deep in an essay for my OU course so have been a little distracted and vague, even more so than usual. Sorry to hear about the spewing and not spewing, fish and wino, if you see what I mean. I have now stopped spewing, thank fuck, and have started to look pregnant rather than just fat. Maybe now DH will stop expecting me to take the bins out fat chance .

Is it wrong that I really want a drink? Preferably a Christmassy one like mulled wine?

Okay, get your expanding butts down to Mothercare, seriously, as they have a lace LBD on half price for £30, but they are flying off the shelves.

In other news, I got the letter back from my scan/blood tests saying that I do not carry sickle cell anaemia and that the maniac is unlikely to have Downs syndrome. The letter then points out that just because it's unlikely it doesn't mean it can't happen. I love the NHS and their necessary litigation avoidance language. But on the whole, good news.

Ikea today. What possessed me? But I have a couple more Xmas presents and some slightly necessary kitchen equipment. And another one of those washing up brushes that stick to the sink with a sucker, because they are lovely.

Knock knock ... can I come in? Been reading this thread on and off (not in a stalkery way ... well, maybe a bit) and I have been very much enjoying the sarcasm, swearing, references to wine and the absence of the usual "hope your OK hun!" [sic] type posts.

Anyhoo, I am currently TTC number 2 but my cycle has decided to go haywire and I have no idea where the hell I am! All v frustrating.

BTW Wino, I wasn't sick once with baby number 1, although I had hideously sore boobs and I was so tired in the early stages (before I knew I was pregnant actually) that I had to lie down while I was sorting out the washing and nearly fell asleep right there on the carpet. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me!

Morning all. Welcome tabby! (Currently DS's fave book - I reckon I can recite it blind now.) What's your favourite pie?

I'm hoping to get a scan date for early next week - off on hols on 15th, so need to try to slot it in before that. Feeling a lot less sick and exhausted, which is worrying me on its own! Aaarrrghhh.

jars, I hear you on the mulled wine front. You could try mulling some red grape juice - a mate of mine tried it and said it was an OK substitute if you added some orange or lemon pith to give it a slightly bitter taste (as otherwise it was all a bit too sugary). Good news on the blood test front! I remember being dead chuffed last time that my Down Syndrome risk was 1:2284. Might have a punt on what it'll be this time - 1:1845, perhaps?

Hi all! and big hello to tabby what's your poison? I'll make you a welcome cocktail - dispensed in a bucket, naturally...

so cycles up the spout? is that since having DC1? Have you used ov kits or similar?

jars great news about tests, good news about no spewing, bad news re ikea, I have an entire kitchen of crap thanks to those chinese swedish fuckers

fish hope you get your scan through, where you off to on hols? I'll take a punt on that too - I bet you an iced bun - 1:217

Ermmmmmm newsflash about mulled wine girls, if you boil rather than simmer mulled wine (and I mean properly BOIL) it burns/cooks off the alcohol so you can drink it! Still tastes the same but sans booze!

In wino world today at work I have

1- used the word 'randy' instead of 'random' to our new employee.

2 - tried to put a chap through to my boss and said 'hang on handsome' instead of 'hang on Campbell'

3 - when trying to put on anti sickness bands because I felt a bit sick I managed to ping one behind my office radiator so had to crawl under desk and try and tease the band out with a ruler. It took 10 minutes and did NOT help with afore mentioned sickness....

wally award goes to me!

jewels you ok love?

oh, and it's fecking freezing n'est pas?

shit shit shit I meant 1:2170 fish! told you I was a wally today!

Vat of red wine and an apple and raspberry pie with custard for me please!

Well since you ask, wino, my cycle has been pretty regular since I gave up breastfeeding last year (25-29 days). It's just the last couple of months that have been weird, particularly this month - four-day period, spotting days 7-9, next period started after 18 days. WTF???!!!?

Not using ov kits but suspect I ovulate early ish (maybe day 10 or 11?).

I LOVE the fact that you used the word "randy" instead of "random"! Hilarious!