Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

ok found this womens pic online - this is what mine is like?

community.babycentre.co.uk/photos/a_wright/1022145

Omfg, stick it on your profile photos & make it public.

Like, now!

That would be a VFP!

Right, go get another FR and widdle on it first thing tomorrow.

I have another 3 with me!

was going to do another just before I leave for this work do?

I have put on my profile but I dont know if it's big enough for you to see when I uploaded?

ok, silly reasoning now but is it going to f*ck it right up if I have 2 glasses of wine tonight? that is seriously the minimum I am going to be able to get away with? I cannot not go unless I go home sick now but considering I just ate a fat lunch with a work colleague that ain't going to go down well!

sorry I don't really care about work do obviously, just worried and no-one to talk to if it came across funny that I would be asking about that.

Wino, if you've got colour in the line it is very probably a BTP, like mine! Hairline thin still counts! (Can't see the photo on my phone...)

Could you drive to/from your work do, and thus give yourself a cast-iron excuse for not drinking? Alternatively, norovirus can come on v quickly...

How exciting! I had a funny feeling about you this month but didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong.

yes it has colour - I rang the FR product line and quizzed her for 10 mins and she said to redo it as I held it in weepot for too long and that 'may' effect the result. I asked if it could give a false positive and she said no not really but to re do anyway?

re did it holding it in wee pot for 5 seconds and the same result so that's two now

I work in the city of London so tube to/from work and we are leaving straight from here so can't get out of it. It's weird because I wasn't even going to do a test until tomorrow so would have gone tonight and been oblivious.

Am just going to have to play it by ear. I had a BFN 5 days ago and then went to my best friends wedding at the weekend and drank my body weight in wine so it's a drop in the ocean really!

Still convinced this is some sort of weird trick or that this will turn out to be chemical so am suspending judgement - also with DH away I can't tell anyone so trying not to cry so pretending it's not real is helping..

Look, just tell them you've suddenly got the squits!

I am actually doing a little dance for you (a bit like the Snoopy dance).

I'm being a nob, it will be fine, I will go, not drink anything, they will raise their eyebrows and then hopefully in a few months I'll confirm what they thought anyway. Just needed a couple of hours to freak out and now I'm a bit calmer.

You girls are ace

Ta muchly for putting up with my ramblings!

(loving the dance jars)

Have a lovely evening realising how weird pissed people are when you're sober and trying not to blurt anything out !

Nowt wrong with freaking out. It's what we do best.

Omfg! wino! I was just half-checking my phone while talking to mr j&b about something inane and then had to abandon conversation mid talk to scrabble for the laptop (hate posting on phone!). Congratulations! Another one snoopy-dancing for you here.

Fish buddy, you've been on my mind and I've been meaning to post to say I'm feeling for you and I have my fingers crossed. Sorry its another hasty one, just I have to dash as am meeting a mate in the local at 9 but just HAD HAD had to post first. Will post proper soon

Ps wino re the is-one-drink-ok read zoe williams (who I heart quite a lot) 'bring it on baby'

Hello all!

Well, 2 superdrug tests, 3 FR and 1 clearblue digital later...

all had a line and CBD said Pregnant 1-2 weeks which would theorectically make me 4 weeks. Feel very odd today, I keep getting a wave of emotion and then it goes back inside...

Am petrified mainly and very excited, been up half the night thinking about stuff so bit sleepy today! Silly girl!

DH back about 9pm tonight so I can't wait to tell him.

jewels ta for book tip, will seek that out!

where in your cycle are you? do we need to start doing the 2ww dance yet or are you still sexing mrj&b?

Aw wino. If I can't wait for you to tell mr wino god knows how excited you must be! Have you told anyone in RL yet? your mum?

In my news I'm currently 'peak' (according to CBFM piss HQ) but have done naff all about it. We have had sechs when we've wanted to this cycle (last time three days ago when I was feelin' jiggy) but the last few days I just haven't felt it, and circumstances have conspired to limit our opportunities anyway. So I am torn between thinking balls to it, I don't actually want to have function-sex just for the sake of it, and it would be nice not to have to the anxious early not-drinky bit over the christmas party season anyway, and thinking that I am a total twat for not making an effort when I know I will feel sad when I come on. I suspect an element of self-sabotage in my attitude (Well, of course I'm not pregnant; I didn't try. Etc. Like not revising for an exam you're scared of). Hum.

I did that a few months back jewels, I went as far as started a row with mrwino just so we didn't have to have sex so then I wouldn't get pregnant and it wouldn't be my fault so I get the self sabotage thing....

I was actually thinking the same thing about next month so I could enjoy the party season guilt free - got to the stage of well we've waited this long so what's one more cycle IYSWIM?

Do what you feel my love, you're a wise ladeee, here's a mojito while you ponder...

the only thing I will say is that (basing on a CD15 ov and a 28/30 day cycle roughly) that the next time after this you will peak will be around the week before xmas so you'll have xmas and new year to deal with then for the 2ww so you might be sitting yourself out for two cycles, which is obviously totally fine, I'm just saying like...

p.s nope, not a soul knows in RL only you ladies! :)

Wino I am made up for you, sweetheart. That is such cooooool news! (I don't dance - three left feet - but I may jig about in my chair a bit.) I have crystallised ginger, travel sickness acupressure bands, dry crackers and a bucket on standby for you.

Jewels, I got a bit of a lump in my throat at your saying I've been on your mind. I'm OK really, just prone to periodic mentalling (like today, cos the sickness is a bit better and does that mean something's wrong, etc etc ad bleedin' nauseam et ad infinitum). How are you doing? I completely get the self-sabotage thing, and the not wanting to just have sex as a means to an end rather than an end in itself. Srsly, could you bear to chuck the piss computer for a month and just let things go their own way? Might take some of the stress out of the whole thing. (It worked for me, anyway.)

Following on from earlier - the sickness is NOT better - have just had to wipe my lunch off the walls of the ladies' bogs. Oh the glamour. It must be blindingly obvious to every man and his dog where I work that I am knocked up: fainting on way to canteen? Check. Seen (or more likely heard) repeatedly heaving over cludgie? Check. Pale face with huge dark circles under eyes? Check. Refusing offers of tea and coffee? Check. Found in meeting room with lights off, having surreptitious kip? Check check fuckity check.

If there ain't some proto-fishandjam in there causing all this, I will have the strop to end all strops.

bless you fish - if you're that poorly that has to be a good sign right?

There is some serious hormonal shite going on to be making you ill so am sure 'proto-fishandjam' is in attendance and wrecking havoc already.

Our meeting room is always empty, come on over for a nap and I'll hook you up, it's even got an ensuite loo...

thanks for the list of lovelies you have waiting for me, they all sound lush...

DH just rang me from airport, am soo excited, he's not home until 9pm... told him I had something interesting to show him later..

He asked if I meant my boobs or ladygarden

Okay, quick one. What have I got in my it's-too-fucking-early-bugger-off-woman Xmas goodie bag?

Fish, for you, a sick bag and a pillow. And the knowledge that it will all be fine. Actually, I just want to give you a FFW button to get you through crap days or even the whole thing. Poor you, not good. How far along are you now?

Wino, I'm not sure you need anything but have a massive cake while you still feel like eating. I wish I could see your DH's face tonight!

Jewels, a crystal ball. I wish I could tell you either not to worry, it isn't this month so get shitfaced and gave fun, or go, go, go! this is the month! This kind of prediction kit is second on my Dragons Den list after a period button that you could press to have your period when you want, all at once.

For myself, I would like my scan to be NOW.

Failing that, Alan Rickman will do.

Wino, how did telling Mr Wino go?

Hi! It was fab! I waited until he'd unpacked and got sorted etc and then when he got into bed he said 'so what did you have to show me?' all sultry like and I pulled out the sticks one by one and said well, I have this, and this and this... you get the idea. There was lots of crying and it was lovely :)

I have weird little flutters in my tummy, not like full on cramps but like teeny tiny twinges? No blood or anything? Also tummy feels a bit swollen, like bigger than usual - is this just normal? Feel a bit worried but I assume everyone does this...

jars and fish when is your scan?

jewels you ok love?

Wino, fret not about any cramps. (In my first pg I was convinced I was coming on the entire first 3 months, I had so many cramps.) You are now about to enter a whole new world of ligament pain, uterine stretches, IBS, constipation, diarrhoea, trapped wind and general twingeorama. Oh, and possibly barfing too.

I'm 8 weeks by the calendar, maybe nearer 7+3 by the actual dates, scan next Thurs.

Jewels, you OK?

Morning all. wino that sounds perfect. Given that this thread's gone all soppy of late, I hope I'll be excused if I give you and mr wino a big ol squeeze.

I'm ok - thanks for asking. It's good to check in with you lot about this stuff. This part of my world at the mo is a bit buried in RL and i think its not unrelated that I'm not currently feeling as close to some friends as at times. A symptom in part I think of our not having communicated very well just what different pages we were on until a bit of emotional estrangement had already set in. Tis a comforting thing to have both anonymity and intimacy here. and yknow, a joy to share yours.

Christ sorry, I'm clearly 10 seconds off baby-glueing the lot of you.

We didn't do any trying this month in the end and I feel ok about it. Obviously, because there is still a slim but theoretic possibility that a super sperm might just have hung around for long enough, I am not entirely excused from a bit of mentalling, but in reality this has turned into a month off. I think y'all are right about the piss computer. It was a big reassurance when I first used it because I get so few physical signs of ovulation that that little pixelated egg made me quite happy, but that's three months now that it's reckoned I've laid one, so I'm going to sack it for a bit, try and chill, and have lots of drunken party sex whilst you fertile suckers drink your apple juice and go to bed early. :-)

All things being well this time next month I'll be magickng a blastocyst out of mince pies and beer. Speaking of which there is a lovely column piece that I will commend to you all - will post a link if I can work out how to after posting this (have labouriously typed this out on the phone whilst lounging in bed and on don't trust phone not to lose it if I start fucking around around trying to cut and paste on another page [technophobe])

Laters gang.

Column

Heh, preview tells me I've got the link right.

Overall, dude is a bit annoying (well, his book annoyed me quite a lot) but this moved me both when I first read it and still now.

Morning all!

jewels none of our friends are TTC and the few that have got pg within about a minute so they all think it's kind of novel that we've been trying for a long time and the only support I get is lots of pity - it's not their fault, they just don't get it but sometimes when I would try and talk with them about it they would liken it to buying a new house? or trying to get a new job?! eh?!

piss computer - yes, well, I felt exactly the same, I loved seeing the egg and stuff and it reassured me for a while but it did also turn me into a bit complete loon.

At our last appointment with the consultant when he told me to stop using it as it wasn't showing anything that they didn't already know I cried my little heart out, it was such a relief because it was kind of like he gave me permission to stop using it if that makes sense?

I think it's something you need to decide for yourself so pleased you've reached a decision. I'm going to ebay mine I think....

p.s re

'Obviously, because there is still a slim but theoretic possibility that a super sperm might just have hung around for long enough, I am not entirely excused from a bit of mentalling'

Yes you fucking are, forget all about it and have some fun....

Roll on the drunken party sex, mince pies and beer flavoured egg I say!

Whoop! I'll be cheering you on!

oh, I couldn't get that link to work - what was it to?

Muchos Monday love