Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

needsinstructions congrats on your bfp

jewels Gutted for you my lovely, how fucking annoying! It's just not fair

Now, can you do something for me? (and yourself) - delete that app please?

You can download it again when you need it?

I'm only just starting the 2ww so defo November for me - been shagging mrwino all which ways this weekend so now we just have to wait - we went down to Portsmouth to do the Great South Run this weekend and rather typically it was days 13-15 while we were there so god knows if any of his boys survived a 10 mile run well enough to impregnate me! Who knows!

However, I organised a bonfire/fireworks pissup party at my house on Saturday and two of my main 'wine buddies' are coming so gawd knows what I'm going to do about limiting the booze without questions being asked, they know sort of what's going on but not everything....

The hospital told me that it will take my bits a while to settle down but I don't know what to do - I obviously know that I shouldn't get totally hammered but equally having spent the last year beating myself up for drinking too much I don't want to get my knickers in a twist anymore? It just upsets and torments me? Am I being totally unreasonable to just forget about the 2ww and just relax?

Got my best friends wedding the following weekend which is obviously going to be a boozefest but I will be able to POAS by then!!

jars/fish how goes the pukefest my lovelies??

Well done instructions! Congratulations. The ginger beers are on you.

Jewels, that is a pisser and no mistake. I know it goes against the grain of all us tremendously uptight TTCers - but could you try ditching the piss computer for a month? And try banging like a barn door in a gale instead? I'm not sure it's a coincidence that the two hits I've scored in recent months have both been when I stopped tracking/charting/piddling/analysing, and just got on with plenty of shagging. (Oh yes, and you definitely need to delete that app.)

wino, on the booze front, I guess that while it won't do any harm to lay off it for a bit (and if you need an excuse, you could always say that you're giving your liver a rest/trying to lose weight/thinking of converting to Islam), I drank - though fairly moderately - all the way up to my test day. As like you, I figured there was no point gearing up for something that might not happen anyway. I did the same with DS and it doesn't appear to have harmed him any. (Stopped immediately I got the positive, though!)

Hey, well done, instructions! That's fab news!

Wino, tricky one: being shitfaced seems to work for me, so meh. Plus, I had my laparoscopy about 2 months before my BFP. Hmm...

It's all vom over here. 2.5 weeks until scan, then can start explaining to people why I've been ineffective and poorly for the last 2 months. Feel like shite, tbh. But in a constructive way.

jars Vomming in a constructive way is all good - pleased all is still pukey for you but hoping for a reduction in the vom stakes for you soon.

fish hope all is similar in your neck of the womb woods

jewels hope all is lovely wiv you.

Thanks for all the boozey advice, am going to play it straight down the middle and have some wine and not get too worried about the 2ww but not going to down a barrel of voddie.

In sperate news, have just broken my vow of silence on other threads - eeek, not done it before apart from when someone has asked for direct advice about something I can help with?

Basically some people moaning about the fact they want a girl or a boy as their 2nd/3rd/4th child and before I knew it I had typed a mardy response about having been ttc for 18 months nearly I just want a baby and I don't care about the sex, post what you like but don't expect not to get flamed for it!

Never done it before and now I just feel angry

Have lovely weekends all.......

Wino my love, YANBU at all. (Oops, slipped into a bit of MNese there. ) I think there are a number of women out there, who have no trouble conceiving or carrying a child to term, and they simply don't understand what it's like if you're not so lucky, or how their (unintentionally?) smug kvetching can come across. (And it is luck, as far as I'm concerned.) Have another glass of Cats' Wee On A Gooseberry Bush and try to chill.

I am feeling nauseous and exhausted. Hurrah! (Though today was a bit of a struggle, I don't mind confessing. Tomorrow will be worse - home alone with boisterous toddler. I'd have a cup of coffee if I wasn't dead certain I'd yak it up within seconds.) But not complaining, oh no. Just relieved I have some symptoms, to distract me from the constant gusset inspections. Roll on Thursday's scan :)

Everyone else OK??

Wino, OMG YAsoNBU! I loathe those threads. I don't care what I have as long as it's healthy and preferably one sex or the other, as I know I would love a transgender child just as much, but its life would be so very hard. People bitching about how they really wanted a girl this time are annoying. My BIL was sooooooooooo fucking made up about his DC2 being a boy (think taking over my DS's birthday party, delaying present opening etc to make the gender announcement) that I felt gutted for my niece, who was a bit too young to understand that Daddy had really wanted a boy first time round. Grr. I hope for my DNephew's sake he conforms to all those boy stereotypes that his pa has in mind.

Unless there is some massive psychological issue with not having one sex or the other, what is the big deal? And if there is, counselling first, maybe?

And relax.

Fish, tried travel bands? I left mine off today and regretted it, despite thinking they are a load of bollocks.

I have joined an antenatal thread. It is weird. They don't cuss. Huh.

Fucky fucky fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck

That's better.

Those threads are only slightly more annoying than the ones where recently delivered mums moan about not having had the birth experience they wanted. Now don't get me wrong - having a cathartic strop about a traumatic birth is both reasonable and necessary. I'm thinking of the ones where because they didn't get to use the birthing pool/have scented candles/play Clannad on loop, they feel cheated. Whereas to me, a good birth experience is one where (a) you have a live, healthy baby at the end of it and (b) you're not so badly hacked about that you won't heal. (And believe me, I know whereof I speak.)

Hmpf.

ohhhhh it did piss me off!

jars a fred where people don't swear? hmmmm, WHEN we are all in the pregnancy club I vote we start our own antenatal thread the four of us where we can fuckity fuck fuck our way through the months.

I love AIBU - I often read through it at lunchtimes to amuse myself! Hilarious!

I'm on CD24 and normally my boobs are killing me by now but not a sausage, however this has happened before and I was halfway to mothercare (in my mind) and then I got my period so so I'm not falling for that old trick, oh no....

fecking body....

anyone got anything interesting to report?

felt like a change today so I've made some cosmopolitans - feeling all suphstikated like......

Just a small ginger beer for me please

one of my good friends got awful morning sickness and used to rave about the ginger sweets you can get from health shops/pharmacies - she loved a good suck she did :)

I know there are such things as ginger chews. And sweets generaly sound good. I'm not a massive fan of ginger nuts (hur hur) but like all other things ginger, and I'm not averse to a good suck too. I'm off tomorrow to see about travel bands, ginger sweets and frankly anything else that will work.

Feeling a bit better today but that's probably because I've been horizontal for most of it working from home.

S'up gang. Just a holder to say still here and keeping up with your goss - hang in there with the sickness and suspiciously symptomless boobs and the disconcertingly polite antenatalers (hmmph). Will post properly in the next couple of days, just didn't want to look like an abandoner.

L to the aters.

Yo homies!
It's been ages I am sorry, I had to de-MN myself for a bit.
How are you all? I've missed you! And booze.
Congratulations on the womb usage that's going on and as always good luck to you other ladies still bashing away at the seed salami. A bit crude? Sorry.
All fine in Rara land which is nice - am due in Jan so the size of a house and very happy about that.
Now that I have broken my MN abstinence I am going to read back through the thread...
Hope you don't mind me gate crashing myself back into the thread, it's nice to be back.

yo rara!!! nice to have you back lovely!

Glad to hear you are well, been wondering how you were.

Size of house? Most excellent, now come closer so we can rub the bump for luck and also maybe use it as a little table for our cocktails?

Now, we've lots to catch you up on so take a load off - can I get you a virtual mojito, cosmo or a whisky sour? :)

Hey rara Welcome back! Good to hear you're mahoosive :)

In fishy news, my early scan was.... inconclusive. An amniotic sac and yolk, but no embryo visible - the whole thing measuring around 6+3 weeks. Which isn't massively far off I suppose (calendar says 7 weeks, but it could have been a late implant in a long cycle). Lovely EPU sonographer said not to panic, it didn't mean that what happened last time was happening again, particularly not if I've been feeling sick and fatigued. Back in two weeks for a follow-up.

Question: do I book in with the midwife now, or wait for the next scan (where hopefully things will have moved on a bit and so I'll know for sure there's something there?)

Was really hoping I could stop worrying, if only a little bit! Tits, tits, tits.

oh fish that is pantmungous :(

so sorry you weren't re-assured :( Let's hope that the pukeyness is a good sign. You really have been awfully sick? I'm sure all is well.

re the midwife, well, I think only you can decide, if you're an optimist then let's get you booked in and count down the days until your next scan anyway. If not then count down the days until the scan and then ring the midwife and get booked in afterwards?

sorry that's probably not much help but didn't really know what else to say :(

Massive virtual moscow mule headed your way (ginger based so i assume this is fine)

p.s POAS today - a FR one too - on CD25 of no more than a 30 day cycle so it would have picked up anything but alas BFN

pissflaps....

onwards into November eh jewels

Ah, this isn't fair. I've caught a fluey bug too! Feel like death.

fish that is rubbish! Hope you are horizontal under a duvet and someone is on hand moping your brow and fetching you tea :(

I suppose you can't take much apart from paracetamol?

Well, I'm ruddy confused, my body is playing weird tricks on me still - I still have no period? no sore boobs, no PMT no nothing at all on CD29?

I have pissed on at least 3 sticks over the weekend (stupid I know, I know) and all BFN so why no period symptoms? Oh, I know why - my body is a bastard!

This isn't fucking fair!

jewels/jars you pair alright?

Ey oop.

fish, buy an advent calendar (only works if chocolate doesn't make you hurl) to mark off the next two weeks. I so so so hope that everything's okay for you and here, have a manly shoulder-punch and a sick bag.

Get well soon: DH has the same thing and is using up all the crisps/orange juice/tissues/patience in the house. Not nice for anyone, least of all him. But you, my girl, are made of stronger stuff! No man-flu for you, oh no. Get back down't pit. In a couple of days, take yer time. I'm not an unreasonable woman.

I am now feeling better but looking fatter: I am now wearing a dangly scarf over my front elevation to cast aside suspicion and catch bits of food for later. However, I am still a bastard week off the scan. Will buy advent calendar tomorrow.

wino, do you need me to come and have words with that ovum?

Right, off for a wee and more crisps .

Hola chicas,

Feeling a bit better. Still retching at all and sundry but no longer poleaxed and fluey.

wino, I hate to be the voice of reason but.... maybe... your winowomb is still recovering after its spring clean? Or maybe you had an anovulatory cycle? If you've been taking NSAIDs (aspirin, ibuprofen, diclofenac) for any pain or inflammation, they can muck up ovulation for a little while (mess up your prostaglandins, don't you know). I know I had several anovulatory cycles earlier in the year, while stoned out of my brain on painkillers for the slipped disc.

Word to the wise - avoid today's Discussion Of The Day titled "Third time lucky". Just soooo fucking smug and annoying.

lol fish I saw that in the box and thought 'oh do fuck off!'

Glad you're feeling better even though a bit vommy

very interesting missus, thanks for the info. I suspect that you're right I have had one period since my springclean so kind of assumed everything was back to normal (cycle wise). I took ibuprofen in days after op but not had anything since early october but I don't usually take anything at all so body probably not happy....

jars nice to hear the tum tum is progressing and impressed about the food saving skills, much more socially acceptable than a roald dahl 'twits' style beard!

So, I am officially a moron....

I can't believe I'm going to tell you this...

I stupidly POAS this morning again, I don't know what's wrong with me! Idiot! Was a superdrug one, which people seem to say are good because they have a darker dye? Anyhoooo, at first there was nothing there but after a few minutes I convinced myself that there was the faintest of faintest of outlines of a line (deluded? me?) so have spent all morning googling evaporation lines, pg test outlines, 15dpo + no af?

You know when you stare at something so long you start to imagine there is something there?

Got myself in such a tiss...

jewels you ok lovely?

Ooh, wino, have you got a BFP or "line eye"?

ok, so am freaking out - I have a work do tonight and there is absolutely no way on gods earth I cannot drink without raising eyebrows (and my boss knowing damn well why)

So because of this and becuase I have had weird stomach cramps this morning I just bought a FR at lunch and have just done it - there is a faint line, like really faint but it's there.

When I posted before I honestly thought I was making it up you know? But now it's really there?

DH is currently in the air flying away with work and not back until tomorrow night. I took a pic of it and was going to email it to my mum for her opinion but she's out all day!

Is there a way I can upload it here so you can give me your opinion?

I am absolutely not getting excited becuase this is all going to turn out to be one horribel joke isn't it?

erm, obviously I mean winces not winches?! idiot!