Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

ciwi little bub is a cool name for your soon to be bump.

Morning. I'm feeling a lot better today, cramping has stopped thankfully! Still a bit worried but just hoping things will be ok. Thanks everyone for the kind words, they're appreciated.

I was just on facebook and you know that thing it does where it says "on this day in 2010" well mine was "I don't think this little girl is going to sleep much when she's born" :( How ironic :( Feeling quite wobbly today after seeing that.

Razz The balloons sound like a lovely thing to have done. I know what you mean about the two anniversaries. I feel that way with Scarlett, the day we found out and then 4 days later when she was born. Also her due date and then the funeral all in the same month. I think Decemeber will be tough this year too.

Too have you been feeling sick at all? Mine seems to have passed, I had a rough week feeling sick quite a lot and now nothing, touch wood.

green my uterus is retroverted so maybe I'd feel it more as it moves? Not sure but I hope it's just that! Hopefully you'll find a new job soon, yours sound really hard on you.

jane (hugs) sorry AF arrived.

Angel that must be such a shock! It does put things in perspective.

ciwi I heard that in the news too, how awful and devestating that would be. It's so horrible. Great news about your scan! so pleased that baby is well and with a strong heartbeat :)

cheese I bet thats what it is then if your uterus tilts back, as does mine then your going to feel the stretching pains more in your back.
facebook is bad sometimes isnt it.

jane hugs sorry the witch has visited once more, fx crossed its this cycle for you.

Hi girls,
Just thought I'd check in. I'm back at work tomorrow . Apparently I've been moved to the dept I'm currently working at on a permanent basis though no-one has actually told me this from work! Had a call from the company that do occ health this morning trying to arrange a telephone consult as I missed the appointment last week! Sorry I was in hospital getting my uterus scraped out! Sensitivity is clearly my employers weak point.
Glad everyone is getting on ok. Jane sorry you're back to day 1 but you never know we might end up being preggie buddies! Fx'd anyway

wen it was bens due date i had to pick up his ashes sooo that was pretty hard , i find my self looking at his ashes n then at my belly thinking how i wld cope with sumthing happening to this 1 scary stuff , got early scan monday so hope all is well xxx

Jane, oh no, boo! Never mind, maybe this month will be it.

Green, your work doesn't seem great in your situation. Hope you find something else soon that's a bit more pregnancy-friendly. FX for your flat being ready in 4 weeks!

Mel, your work sucks too! and for you both.

Vicky, hope your scan goes well.

Cheese, I was sick yesterday morning when I was cleaning my teeth, but today I had breakfast first and it seemed to help. I have been feeling queasy on and off but that was the only actual vomiting so far. Glad to hear the cramping has passed!

Well, today I have had an argument with a pillar at the entrance to the underground car park at work. The car came off worst. It is all scraped along the passenger side, has a nice dent in the passenger door, and both pieces of door trim came off and exposed all the little holes where they were stuck on. Stupid plastic dowel-thingies! It is my first bump since passing my test last October - I figure I'm allowed one.

too blame it on pregnancy brain lol

It MUST be pregnancy brain! DH is very not pleased. He said I didn't seem sorry at all about destroying our most expensive belonging. He gets a bit melodramatic at times. I said it was only a sodding car, and it was only cosmetic damage. I really, really don't care about the car, but I had to try to pretend I did to get him to calm down. We have bigger fish to fry!

blame it on pregnancy brain deffo. Maybe a little of his anger was really letting his frustration out about your pg, I know my DH gets very worried about me during pg, did last time but tried not to show me. And it would come out in spurts of anger at random stuff.
His most expensive belonging should be you right? You and your precious cargo. boys aye.

Where is everyone? Out enjoying the sunshine? Am about to go slather myself in suntan lotion and lie in the sun in the garden. Mmm, bliss!

You have sun too? You lucky girl, enjoy it

Tis all murky down here and I am sat at home doing my second full day of early labour Been contracting at least every 20 mins since the early hours of Friday. Both Friday morning and this morning it got tantalisingly exciting as things hotted up to every 5-6 mins for a couple of hours. Then tailed off again. Tired.

Oh Spilt not long now. I know you re tired but how exciting.
Too I m also enjoying the sunshine in good old West Yorkshire.
Hi all xxx

Afternoon. Not that sunny here anymore, it was lovely this morning though.

split rest as much as you can. I was in pre labour for a week with ds1 and eventually they gave me a sweep and arranged an induction date (I find this odd now as I was 38 weeks but I was in and out of hospital every day registering big contractions). The sweep worked and I gave birth to him the next day. I was knackered by then too so I'd definitely recommend resting if you can! Hope things get going properly soon. Can't wait to hear your news!

spilt hope things go smoothly for you. Looking forward to hearing your wonderful news xxx
I've been back at work and decided to do my full job as I was getting bored sitting back and letting others help!!! Managed fine today and it is still reduced hours so alls good.
Hope everyone else is doing ok x

Spilt, how exciting! FX for increased contractions and BabySpilt very soon! Try to snooze if you can. Have you been seen by a MW at all? I found the hardest thing was not knowing if I was dilating properly/at all - I had quite convinced myself that I must be a good 5 cm by the time I went into hospital and it was a terrible blow to be told that I was only 2!

Still glorious sunshine here, if a bit windy. Planning barbecued mackerel for dinner - mmm!

Ooh we just tried out the new doppler that DH bought online a few weeks ago and we found the heartbeat really easily! Took a couple of mins which surprised me as I'm 9+3 today. I was beginning to get a bit worried and panicky that something had happened so I'm really relieved now. Now not to get obsessive over using it.

spilt so excited for you! Hope little spilt doesn't keep you waiting too long.

spilt so excited for you, the first baby born on the this thread how exciting!

Im starting the two week wait well really its the three week wait, for me. Trying not to symptom spot already but, its hard not to. Escpecially as I have been feeling light headed and tired and I have really bad bowels, all signs before.
Just trying to focus on going back to work, think I might go in for a couple of hours this week just to talk to my supervisor and get the awkward moments out the way before I start back for real the week after.

Hope every one has enjoyed the sun if they got some today, been beautiful on the south coast this afternoon, really warm too, hope it stays for tomorrow when we take the 8 year old brother in law out for the day.

how much was that dopplar cheese?

Thanks all. No change really, so fingers crossed for tomorrow!
too I am dreading that first examination for much those reasons... I've not seen anyone yet, but since I'm coping, she's still wriggling and my waters haven't gone I reckon it's fine to sit tight and wait. We might go into the MW unit tomorrow if things are still stagnating just to get checked, make sure she's happy and in the right place and see if I am actually dilating at all! Hopefully though things will get going after we've had a few hours sleep tonight.

cheese that's fab on the hb. I didn't dare listen in to this one until about 17/18 weeks, I was really scared of struggling to find the hb. At least you know where to look now.

mel great that work is going ok

Evening everyone,
spilt Hope things start moving for you soon, how exciting!
green fx this is your month, it's a good idea to just go into work for a bit to break the ice, plus work will hopefully distract you in the 2/3ww
mel glad work is going ok, fx you are on the countdown to mat leave again very soon
cheese yay on hearing the hb, your post made me want to try with my doppler, I did and I heard it too! was amazed as I have a bit of padding and didnt think I would, was a bit tricky to find but I did and it really cheered me up (been stressing again today) Now need to not obsess with it and not freak out if the little bub goes into hiding again in the future!
Hi to everyone else, no sunshine up north for us but fx for some tommorrow as I have a bbq to go to at mums x

Spilt hope something happens soon xx
Cheese fab news on the Doppler. I bought a more expensive Doppler this time round had an " angel sounds" last time. This time I ve spent about £80 on a new Doppler it picked up the heartbeat before I could hear it with a display screen. I use it every 3/ 4 days just to reassure myself. Love it x
Jane have a nice day tomorrow. X

Oh sorry meant green !!!

green fingers crossed for you for this month. It was this and works really well.

split Hope things kick off for you soon. I've checked earlier than this before and found it but it took about an hour so for me this was waiting! I was pretty sure I'd be able to find it and I was stressing so much that I was looking into another private scan, I figured this would be faster and cheaper.

ciwi that's fab :) really glad you've been cheered up by hearing the heartbeat. I know dopplers aren't for everyone but they really help to reassure me. Hope you have a good day tomorrow and the rain stay away.

Angel your doppler sounds like a good one, definitely useful to have if you find them a help.

Gosh, you can hear heartbeats as early as 9 weeks? I showed the Angel Sounds doppler to DH but he thought it was a bad idea as I would freak myself out...I thought you couldn't hear it before about 15 weeks! How do you tell if it's the baby or you?

Green, sounds v promising! Hope this is it.

Spilt, hope you get some sleep tonight - or that you get your baby! Probably a good idea to go to the MW tomorrow just for reassurance, if nothing has changed in the meantime.

Mel, glad to hear that you want to work! The mind boggles slightly at this one, but actually, being back at work this week has been a good distraction, so I do see where you're coming from. Green, while I'm on the subject, work might be a good thing, as Ciwi says. Kind of depends on whether you like your job and/or colleagues, though - I know you said before that your job isn't one you can do pregnant, so it's one more stress to add to the ttc pressure, worrying about the baby and about telling people at such an early stage. Hope it all goes well.

Ciwi, Angel and Cheese, hurray for heartbeat listening! May just have to convince DH it will actually calm me down.

I'm 7+2 now...time is dragging! I managed about 2 minutes in the bath this evening before starting to panic that the hot bath would be dangerous, got out and Googled it and now feel silly. I keep hitting really wapit/wapid (not sure how to spell it, but it's Doric for weary, a bit unwell and generally under the weather and sorry for yourself) moments in the early evening where I feel exhausted, grumpy and sick. I don't remember feeling like this the last time. A bit of Ben and Jerry's and some chocolate has helpe tonight, though!