Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

[hippychick66]

Come on ladies - you know who you are .......

Pocket hugs to you and may it all go smoothly.

Hopefulgum enjoy your food. Sounds lovely.

ladies, just thought I would share what I just posted on the other thread I post on. We were talking about stuff in general and someone kindly asked how to pronounce my embies names, and this is what I said and this is how I am feeling now about the treatment and my/our journey. Here are some random snippets of what I posted:
Paschal is pas-kal (pas as in northern English way of saying pass and kal as in Cal-mares -those Greek squid things). Cielo is Theo-lo, sort of all run together.

I must admit that although I feel VERY grateful to our anonymous donor and did send up a quick prayer for her that she would be pregnant through this treatment, I have not really thought of these little embies as anything other than mine! The fact I had to ?fight? or rather ?argue? to get them into the freezer made me feel all protective and mumsy! For the ones which are in the freezer!

Choosing the names for the two in me and thinking of them has helped me to feel connected to them. I KNOW not everyone would want to do that or feel happy doing it!

In one sense one is trying to be positive, in another realistic, in one sense optimistic, in another preparing for the crushing blow of it not working out! It?s such a tough line to walk so whatever helps, I feel I just need to do it! Whether it is picking out names, researching what is good to drink or looking at pictures of fertilised eggs on the Internet! One of my friends has two kids and is expecting number three, she is lovely but so matter of fact about it all, she decided to have another, she is pregnant!

I wished so much that I could do that, just want it to be so and it was so! But about a week ago I lay in bed and just prayed that I was OK with how it all worked out. I was so lucky we got our lovely DD at the start of this process and the last six years have been about trying to get her a brother or sister and not trying to get started. So I am one of the lucky ones and I don?t want to forget that. I ended up praising God and feeling happy, I know that is probably hard to understand but if anything this last six years have reminded me how lucky I am that that one tiny follicle on an IUI cycle almost 8 years ago actually made it. Life can seem quite random at times, I like to think it is not all random but sometimes it is quite unfathomable.

Off to bed now I hope we all get what is right for us, those lovely babies we so much want, or whatever good is in store for us.

Hugs to everyone.

Italian your post is lovely you are incredibly positive. I very much hope we all get what we deserve and we so should. Xxx
Hi all xxx

Italian ooohhh how exciting!! Love your embie names xx How clever of you to coordinate your test day with GILs birth It is a sly attempt to organise a snug party, isn't it?

Diege Glad you are feeling calm... I have a theory that if you prod a pg woman and her inside baby enough, you can always find something that looks concerning. I'm sure they'll keep a huge eye on everything now anyway. Incidentally, did you visualise that baby moving down? Pray tell?

Hippy oh poo, poo, poo.... do you have one more dose of clomid left?

Right, I won't name check, as I'm trying to prop M up with one hand. In Rome now - it's 34 degrees, so we are melting. Obviosuly the hottest day that M has ever seen, and a coke here in any cafe you go to - even the rankest, dingiest place in the whole of Rome is £3.60 for a can!!!

Mwah, mwah... and baby dust to all... xx

Praying for your lovely embies, Italian Bet they're loving it inside their mum.

Thinking of you Angel and Diege. You must be sweltering in this weather.

Me me me me alert!

I've got a DHEA alert - my hair is coming out like I'm on chemo. Dp wants me to stop asap. He says it's just not safe. I only got up to 50mgs - the recommended amount for fertility is 75mg per day but it's clear it's messing up my hormones, so that's that. Worryingly, it looks like pregnolone (?) the fertlity drug for IVF does the same. I'm wondering if this is all worth it :-(

Plus - my best friend has just told me she's pregnant :/ - and so's my 40+ neighbour and two of their 45+ friends!

Sigh...

Oh Lol poor you xxx no advice other than send you my love. Yes, I m sweltering just hoping temp will drop next week when I m back at work.
TTT hope you have a lovely holiday. We went to Rome 2 years ago but only for a day as we were on a cruise. However, I loved it and will go back at some time. Loved Trevi Fountain..
Hope everyone is ok? Love to you all xx

Hope all is ok with my bezza siege. Take care of yourself honey. I am very excited about your envied Italian. CAN NOT wait for the 18th. So so want a NFL for you Italian. Sorry to hear about the probs with the drugs LOL. Can see why sh wants you to stop. It is encouraging about the old birds getting up the diff but it should actually be all of us.

As for me - having crap period pains and feeling completely at the end of my

Oops
Stupid phone posted too early.
That should say tether with ttc.
One more go with clomide - I know ii won't work :-(

Love to all. X

How many mistakes in that post?? Stupid phone changes everything! It was meant to be diege. It was s BFP for Italian and it was lols dh. You get the idea though huh.

{{ Hippy }} and {{ LOL }} I prescribe a large gin and tonic for you both.

Hippy, btw, love your phone's corrections - from now on, I think we should all try and get up the diff together

Thanks Lou - it was Scotland's hottest summer when I was pg with C - it is the only buggering time I've ever been approaching warm there I think the hot spell is over now - isn't it... I noticed it's raining and 15 in Edinburgh tomorrow - so if you continue to swelter, you could always pop up for a visit We went to see the Trevi fountain today, and had lunch a little way down from it. Sitting in the hotel garden now, but back home tomorrw [sigh]

Oh, and Hippy yeah, yeah - you know it won't work... but suppose it does? Yeah, suppose it does xx (wanders away thinking deep thoughts

Hi ladies, I know I am mad but I am watching One born at Christmas!

www.channel4.com/programmes/one-born-at-christmas/4od#3159331

The first programme in the festive series comes from the Princess Anne hospital, as the race for the first Yuletide?series one episode one.

Hippy, looking forward to my NFL!

Lol hugs to you, please ask all these old birds how they got up duff? Politely!

My boobs ached when I took off my bra tonight, but unlike Hippy and various other friends my boobs are not a real indicator of anything! Perhaps it is jus their pendulous size weighing me down or my cheap supermarket bra not doing its job! love and chocolate boobs and big juicy hugs to all.

Very emotional, will have you in tears!

Oh Lol, I'm sorry to hear that the DHEA is doing the wrong thing. Bugger. However, doesn't that mean your DHEA levels must be alright on their own???I had my levels tested, and it was 3.7 (normal range is 1.0 - 7.0), but my testosterone was less than 0.3 (normal range is 0.3-1.8) and my doctor put me on homeopathic DHEA. She insisted that it works, but I don't have much faith in homeopathy (though I'm pro herbal remedies and other alternatives).
Have you had your DHEA level checked? It might be worth doing.

Hippy, why do you think the clomid won't work? There's every chance that it will. Which days are you taking it? I just read that taking it :
"days 3-7 of Clomid lead to more follicles and fewer side effects on the lining and the mucus. Days 5-9 lead to better development of just a few follicles. It seems to make a difference for some women and does not make any difference in others. Little conclusive research on the issue exists. "

I also read that taking over the age of 40 may have :
"more lining problems and Clomid can have deleterious effects on the lining. Secondly, if a woman is perimenopausal, the mechanism by which Clomid works is not always effective, because the body is somewhat inured to low Estradiol levels. "

You have probably read all this before. Can you get your estradiol levels checked (it's a simple blood test), and I'm not sure how your lining can be checked? By ultrasound perhaps?

Lol, I'm on another over 40's thread on an American website, and suddenly almost every member is pregnant. Which is great news, but I'm starting to feel like the odd one out, and that I might have to stop visiting. Many of them are as old as me (44), so it should give me hope, but it does hurt a bit that they got their sticky baby and I lost both of mine.

I don't think any of them did anything in particular. Most of them are taking baby aspirin. Maybe I'll ask what they did, and see if there is any common things.

So nice to hear from you TTT. Are you officially ttc again? How is you little one? I'll bet she is just gorgeous. Is the weather unseasonably hot in Italy? My mum and dad are there at the moment, and my mum hates the heat. She'll be miserable (but that's nothing unusual for her...) My sister is on a plane, right now, on her way to London. I'm a bit envious, but the idea of leaving my 4 young boys for 4 weeks doesn't sit well with me. She was expecting it to be really cold and has a big wool coat. Not so sure she'll need it by the sounds of things, but then again, it's bound to get cold again in the next four weeks.

Wow, I seem to have written a novella. Sorry!

Hello all you ladies who are trying to get up the diff

gum are all these american women using their own eggs then?

The reason i say i don't think it will work is cos I have lost all hope really. I feel that getting a take home baby for me would be harder than getting a job as a friggin' brain surgeon right now. I was sure when we started this process that we would get our lucky break but i have no faith left now

This month is not a clomid month for me now - long story short = I was meant to take the first tablet on day 2 of cycle. My period was very erratic starting stopping and going from brown to red. I kept thinking "This isn't really day one yet - this isn't a proper bleed." When i finally thought that i was on day 2 the whole thing stopped and it's been nearly a week since the spotting started so probably too late to start clomid now. I think that what you say is true gum - it may have given me a thin lining cos there didn't seem to be as much blood as usual and i only had period pains on the one day. All very odd. Anyway, I will have a normal month and then do clomid next month i guess. Although there is a very sarcastic voice in my head saying "WTF are you doing, take the hint woman!!"

I hope that the rest of you are a bit more positive than me - hard not to be Hippy!!!!!

lou not long to go now - we will be counting down the days soon.

diege hope you're health is ok, my love.

TTT if you do start TTc again - don't forget that SWITI

italian FX for you, sweetie.

Love to all. X

Hello! Ah Hippy me old mucker, you keep on going and chin up. As others have said, there is absolutely NO reason why the clomid shouldn't work, but it may be worth getting some of your hormone levels checked out. What's your new GP like? At least then you would have a fuller picture. On the positive side, from your info' your LP seems fine and you ARE doing absolutely everything anyone could do xxx
Lol sorry for your side effects Have you decided what to do? Are they the sort of side effects that will disappear when your body gets used to them?
Italian thinbking of you and hoping and praying for the embies to bed in nice and deep x
TTT I made a bit of a mess of the visualisation actually . Thought 'turn around' thoughts while balancing hot cup of tea on top of bump, until I realsied the idea was to get the baby to move towards the warmth (hence I was encouraging a breech position ). Still not ideal this oblique lie (ie, you wouldn;t want to go into labour with it) but I am taking comfort from the fact that he's head down. Another one interested too in your ttc plans!
Angel How are you feeling now? I share your cankles now if it's any consolation!
Feeling ok, thanks for everyone's good wishes. I've been taking my pulse sproadically throughout the day and it tends to be around 100bpm. Not ideal I know but better than last week's ECG. Not much I can do anyway!
Love to all x

Hippy you never know what's round the corner. Chin up chuck!!! Xx we ll count the days down together.
Diege glad I ve a sympathiser with the old cankles!!!! Xx hope you re ok apart from those.
So hot at work today, otherwise fine. Bursting out of my uniform though!!!
Hope everyone is well? Love to all xx

If I conceive now, although it won't be the immaculate conception, it will be a frigging miracle. M was 12 weeks on Sunday and is exclusively breastfed, and I tend to know when I ovulate, and I haven't afaik. Not sure what to do tbh. I suppose my bottom line is I wouldn't give up bf-ing until M is 2, and so if my fertility doesn't return whilst I'm bf-in, c'est la vie. However, I think AF came back when C was a few months old - not sure if that has any bearing on this time??

I think the worse case scenario for me is focusing on #3 so much, I forget to enjoy #2. I had pretty much decided that C would be an only, and if M is my last, I will be happy with that. Along as she is healthy and lives to a 100, that is.

But, I suppose it is still a pretty confusing situation. I have had 2 "only children". Now that just feels plain weird. I am definitely a second time mother, but my daughter will never have a sibling they actually know. I wonder if M will feel the lost of her sister, and whether it will be harder for her to not have any living siblings than it would have been for C if C had lived and M had never existed. It's the sort of stuff that makes your head hurt. Lou - hope I'm not making yours ache, as I know I wasn't really ready to ponder this sort of stuff before M was born.

Anyway, so that was a very long winded way of saying I haven't a clue!

Diege sounds just as well that visulation doesnae work then? Or maybe the baby just knew what ya meant

hippy I hope you are bonking like crazy this month anyway?

Italian thinking of you xx

(throws another log on the fire) nights are drawing in up here in the frozen north xx

TTT no , you haven t made my head ache. Theres certainly a lot to ponder on. I know exactly where you re coming from. A colleague asked me if I would another child after GILS my reply " bloody he'll let me have GILS first!!! Let her be here safely" I would always still consider myself to have had 2 children I am the mum of 2 children & always will be.I ve come to think " take 1 day at a time" unfortunately I do not have time on my side as I ll be 41 in December & we want to move back to the Midlands ASAP but my medical care is so fabulous here would I want to stay here whilst ttc & having my third child.
So many questions??? Bur , I always cone back to as long as GILS is here safely I will remind myself to ve grateful for what I ve got.
See, I can do long winded also!!!! Hope you re enjoying M. Xxxx

Just wanted to pop in briefly. We are leaving for our holiday today, we'll be gone a week and won't have internet or tv or mod-cons. I'm happy with that, it forces us to relax and wind down.

By the time I get back Italian will be getting very close to testing time. So exciting!

Hippy - the ladies on the other site are all over 40, some of them 44, and all into doing things naturally. None of them did IVF or donor eggs. Some of them have had a few miscarriages, but are well on their way now. It gives me hope. Some of the hints were :

"Every time I use the Instead cups after BD I get a BFP. I also learned something about timing from my RE when I had my son. He told me that when I get a positive OPK, it's TOO LATE. I seriously think this may have been why it took so long to conceive my son (2 years). So I figured out the timing, and with all four of my pregnancies we have succeeded when we did it on day 9 or 11 of my cycle, when I then ovulated on the 13th or 14th. My RE told me that the sperm has to already be in the tubes when you O. "

"Just wanted to say that yes, if you wait until you actually ovulate it's too late. I conceived about 3 days AFTER we last had sex BD on Sat night, sig other left town the next morning, I ovulated on Tuesday which means I actually conceived when we weren't even in the same state (country, actually he went to Canada!) as my sig other. You should be having sex in the 5 days or so BEFORE ovulation sperm can live up to about 5 days. Once you get that positive ovulation test, it's too late for that cycle.
I noticed later on that it was a full moon when I conceived (or very close to it). I'll always wonder if that made a difference. This was actually on a beach vacation with my extended family so I was also very relaxed (I have a nice family). And I was drinking like 3-4 cups of green tea a day that week too -- I relax so much around my family that I start falling asleep right and left...
I did read somewhere a study where older cows given caffeine at the time of insemination actually conceived at a higher rate than cows who did not have caffeine. So I think maybe a little bit of a jump-start is not necessarily a bad thing."

"Interesting discussion on O timing and cervical position... I just wanted to chime in that although sperm can live 5 days (and I've conceived with a span like that in the past), it doesn't always work out that way for those of us who are fluid-challenged. I've read that sperm can sometimes only live 6 hours in a less-than-ideal environment without any eggwhite. Add that to the fact that an aging ovum might only live 6-12 hours, and the window narrows quite a bit. I noticed by looking back through my charts that in the past year, I've only conceived when we did it on the day of ovulation (sometimes twice)."

That's what I've got so far. So I suppose it isn't anything new really. Some of them also said they use an "instead cup" (please google for details) to keep the sperm in place for a long time.

Well, I must go and pack the last few things. See you in a week my lovelies. Take good care of yourselves and your little babies...

Angelgeorgie, thinking of you and so much wishing you well. I really hope all your plans and decisions will come together at the right time.

TTT Enjoy Italy and say hello to all my family members! It seems very good that you are thinking about all this type of thing even though it makes your head hurt! I am not sure how much breast feeding will affect ovulation, especially when she gets to six months and she is not exclusively breastfeeding and is having a more mixed diet. I really hope it will all work out in a way that you will be comfortable with. I am sure you are enjoying M. I know people sometimes might have felt I did not enjoy my daughter during the last few years of trying to give her a sibling but I have and in a way the fact that I am thinking of her in this time, and you are thinking of both your lovely girls just goes to show that it is not really about ?us? it is more about our lovely children and what we feel is right. So I do hope you and angelgeorgie will feel comfortable with whatever you decide to do in the future. I am sure you will do the best thing, whatever that is, and enjoy your lovely babies. Hugs to you both, strong, amazing women.

Hippy thinking of you. I am worried about going anywhere near your home town if you really will be a brain surgeon! Chin up my dear, I do have a friend who got pregnant after taking Clomed, I mean after she stopped so who knows. Whatever happens, all best to you, honey.

Diege thank you for your prayers, I really do appreciate it.

Hopefulgum thanks for all that helpful advice for us snugettes.

BB, How are you?

Fireflies hugs.

Shandy, gillyglops, lol, Panshe, Soothe, Hairy, Pocket, Curly, Jolls, Tina, Mitzimaybe and Nicole hugs to all.

DH and I had a chat and he knows and agrees that whatever happens with this cycle we will also have a FET cycle so either it will be as soon as possible if this one fails and if we are successful then it would be in a year's time I guess. I do feel weird thinking it will all continue when I had expected it to all be over by next month but I am excited too!

Well, we had a tiny bit of good news today. I spoke to the clinic and they said they had frozen our embies last week. I have grandly named them Serentis, Jenever and May. The middle one was only five-cells when we left the clinic but by the time they came to freeze they said it was 6-celled! I know it is not a big deal but they said what they were looking for was for them to be moving on so the fact that it was moving on, and still developing right up to the time they froze was a really good sign!

Now I really need to leave them in the freezer, where they will be best. And concentrate on Paschal and Cielo, but I find it so hard to live in the present and I am always trying to be one stage ahead!

italian fab news about the frosties. Now sit back and rest and think nice thoughts about the ones inside you. Those ones in the freezer wont mind if you put them to the back of your mind for a bit.

TTT It is very interesting all the thoughts you're having about your girls. I guess to me you just seem still young and i'd love you to have another pregnancy. There will still be time to TTC once you are not exclusivley BFing. Glad you are enjoying little 'M'.

lou 2 weeks today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really proud of DS2 today. he was a narrator at the Harvest Festival. being dyslexic he always has to memorise his lines. he did so well and told me that he was one of the first to volunteer to narrate - despite being the new boy! Even the Head mistress said to me afterwards that he had done really well. I am a lucky girl.

A small quote from The Time Traveler?s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger:-

?Henry, I quit.? She watches me, trying to gauge my reaction to this, weighing her intentions against my knowledge. ?I give up. It isn?t going to happen.?
Is there anything to stop me giving her what she needs? I can?t think of a single reason not to tell her. I stand and wrack my brain for anything that would preclude Clare knowing. All I remember is her certainty, which I am about to create.
?Persevere, Clare.?
?What??
?Hang in there. In my present we have a baby.?
Clare closes her eyes, whispers, ?Thank you.? I don?t know if she?s talking to me or to God. It doesn?t matter. ?Thank you,? she says, again, looking at me, talking to me, and I feel as though I am an angel in some demented version of the Annunciation. I lean over and kiss her; I can feel resolve, joy, purpose coursing through Clare. I remember the tiny head full of black hair crowning between Clare?s legs and I marvel at how this moment creates that miracle, and vice versa.

If you haven?t read the book this probably won?t make sense to you -sorry.
I just need a time travelling version of my husband to pop back and tell me whether to keep going or give up. I need my own Henry DeTemple.

Thanks gum for all the stuff from the USA - have a good break.

Hippy hugs , well done to DC.

I hope you find your own Henry DeTemple.

Italian more good news. Fabulous xx
Hippy well done your son xx the boy did well!!! Sorry about the job they obviously fon t appreciate quality when they see it!! Xx indeed 2 weeks today how odd!!! Very surreal. My friends at dork tell me I m getting bigger by the day!!! I m like something from a " tango" advert ready to POP!!
Hi all xxxx

Have a great holiday Gum The pregnant oldies, btw, all conceived naturally.

Hippy, I'm just going to go with the flow - if we're not using contraception and not worrying about conceiving we've got a really good chance of having a nice surprise. Thanks Hippy and Gum for the great quotes. Will google the cup thing. Sounds vile, but can't be as bad as watching your hair fall out.

Lou please tell me you're not still at work? Or was is 'dork'? Much more appropriate, probably

Diege how to you pronounce diege? Just wondered...hope your blood pressure's at a nice steady jog and not bursting out of your trackies.

Work is manic - miss dp, who's working hard and so tired he can't even stay awake to swi (so we do it in his sleep ). The painters are in - mess everywhere, but will look lovely in a week or so.

Missing you Curly Panashe and Fireflies. Are you all ok? BB how are you feeling?

Right - if you want some chilli pork, I'm dishing up right now.