Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

[hippychick66]

Come on ladies - you know who you are .......

Shandy Big congratulations.

BB I should have said congratulations to you too, I hope this one will work out and you and DH will work out your concerns together.

OMG - where do i start. Congrats shandy and Bb on your recent BFPs. I hope these ones are stick-around babes.

Sorry to hear you've had such a lot of probs with your DH Bb. i think that you and gum are maybe quite similar in ways but what i will say to you both is similar to what TTT said - you have had quite a few children wih these men and they have loved you and been loved by you for many years. I truelly hope that you can sort out these recent difficulties and get back to feeling happier together. Sometimes i love my Dh so much i almost cry at the htought of losing him and other times (when he is depressed/acting like a child) i find myself imagioning life in separate homes

dr cake i am seeing my new GP on Monday morning. Thanks for all the print outs (how did you get your name?) BB thanks for the tip about the clomid - i do wonder if it could be agravating the endo. i will feel a fool telling him that i am taking it and that i just turned 45 - he'll think i'm a loon . i just hope he doesn't tell me not to9 take the last months supply - especially after soothes wonderful story. Congratulations on reaching 15 weeks - that must be fab after all your early loses. you said you'd been on here for a couple of years - did you use a different name? PM me if you want to keep it secret

diege - pack that bag - just incase.

lou i totally get why you are struggling to pack your bag - very painful memories. thinking of you, sweetie. ((()))

TTT has that little girl of yours got a party dress yet? give her a cuddle from me.

woohoo shandy hope it all goes well for you. I know how you feel - it's bloody stressful. I'm about the same day as you I think - maybe cd32/33 but ov'ed on day 11 or 12 so very early this month

i am actually feeling really sick which is unusual for me (at 4+?) - hoping it's a good sign. But I do feel a bit rubbish.

Wow Shandy congrats x
Hi Hippy hope your gp can help you.
Diege I ve only packed my bag as everyone at work kept saying how big I was and second babies don t need to engage etc..... I bought a new bag and load of clothes, bras, pants etc from Matalan. We ve got all the baby stuff already from Georgie ( clothes,nappies, wipes etc...). Know what you mean about being knackered today I could have walked out of work to start my mat leave. Was so busy and we re very short staffed. At the moment there's 2 practitioners to covet 3 sites!!! 1 of my colleagues is on
aL this week and hopefully next week I ll ve able to do admin work instead if clinics. Was so hot as well. Horrible.
Hope everyone else is well??? Love to all xxx

Wow! This is brilliant. 3 pregnancies in one read-through! So pleased for you BB Shandy and Soothe. Thanks for sharing your story, btw. Inspirational. Did you say the dr DID prescribe you clomid in the end and that's what you feel worked for you? Sorry to be thick.

BB I think I know just how you feel. What a lonely and hurtful experience. What on earth is going through their minds? Is the deliberately 'remote' behaviour some coping mechanism or genuine bloody mindedness? How are you supposed to tell the difference? The passion is clearly still there, and you probably wouldn't have married and spent all this time with a man who is genuinly cruel/selfish. I wonder if this is a bit of a mid-life crisis? I am so delighted you are pregnant. It will work out - you're just not allowed to know how yet!

Hippy I can almost feel the pain! Ouch. And Curly's trapped wind. Gosh, you're both going through it, aren't you. Keep posted with the results, both of you.

Angel I think people should take their skanky privates somewhere else and give you a break. You've had enough, by the sounds of it. (())) x

Italian how are the drugs going? When are you going in?

Gum knowing you had 2 lovely little boys will surely help you get through this grieving process. Have you planted your memory trees/shrubs yet?

Dp's ex-wife has decided to be difficult about dp moving in. She doesn't want me to be left alone with his dd at any time, bath her, read to her etc. Which is a bit tricky when she will be living with us. It's a joke, as she announced recently that she will be moving in with a man she met 6 months ago. I know it's fear of being usurped as a Mum - and I'm trying to be so sensitive. I always talk to dd about things she does with her mum and say how lovely they sound etc. It's shaken my dp, though. And he really, really doesn't need shaking. My house is too small for all of us and it will be cramped, so it's not enticing. But his house hasn't sold in 3 years and is unlikely to now; renting it out and moving into mine seems the best option if we want to live together. If his ex keeps making things difficult, I can see him backing out

Lol hope things get sorted between you, dp and his DD. Ex-wife sounds a cow. You re quite right am fed up with patients now!!! Not s much their bits but their inability to answer simple questions!!! So thick , some of them. Makes me feel like a Mensa candidate!!! Night all , sleep well xx

Congratulations Shandy! Wonderful news.

lol my heart goes out to you . please try and stay calm. Please don't put too many ideas about backing out into his head. I am sure that ex wife's thoughts will calm down and especially as soon as she wants to drop her DD off with you guys so her and her new boyfriend can go away for a romantic weekend or whatever.

Please try as much as you can to help DP not to get too het up about it all. Lots of sex and yummy meal and cosy chats by the fireside etc. If he is the kind who needs soothing, just sooth him some. It is a total pain in the arse and not your fault but don't let his ex wife or his nerves spoil your fun. I am assuming his DD will only be with you for occaional nights/weekends, not living there all the time, so hopefully the space will not be an issue. If it is your house you will be living in you can make it nice, help to re-vamp the room that his DD will stay in and make it a bit fun. I know I sound like a total look for saying make it fun but just try and keep it in perspective. He, like most of us, comes as a package, ex-wife, kid, ex-wife's new partner (in background) the full works. But that is what life is like this side of 40 and if you freak out too much he may catch the freak out bug so just (in the words of the war!) keep calm and carry on, and just be your absolutely fabulous self and come on here and moan as much as you like!

total loon not total look!

Hello

Congratulations BB shandy and Hello and congratulations to soothe It is so uplifting to hear of bfps .

Hope you're ok lol It sounds a tricky situation but unreasonable too. I know I am going to face similar soon with an aggressive alcohol dependent woman !

Got to rush but will check in to say Hello properly over the weekend. xx

lol - sorry i seem to have missed one of your posts. It sounds like you're having problems with your DP's ex. I've looked back but i can't find a mention of it from you (what a numpty - i sound like one of lou's patients!)

Anyway, sorry i missed your post and hope all is ok with you (as ok as it can be).

All ok here. The pressure/pain is better today but I am still going to docs on monday. i hope he doesn't tell me to stop the clomid (i feel i have to take that last months worth) - DH says it's like never putting that last pound in a fruit machine and always wondering if you would have got the jackpot!

DS1 had a rubbish fir st day at High School. He was not on the system properly and no-one seemed to know who he was or why he had turned up I must add that they have just done away with middle Schools on the Island so they were starting year 7, 8 and 9 all on the same day and there are 1,500 kids at the school. And we did choose to move in the holidays - so i do understand the mix up.

i just felt awful cos i would usually sort out things like that for him but as he went on the bus and arrived alone he had to sort it out. Luckily he is a sensible boy (not like the little one )

Anyway, he seemed better yesterday and I'm hoping he'll settle. At least i was able to call the school yesterday and give them all my details incase they needed me in an emergency.

DS2 is loving his school and has made friends - but his school is tiny compared to poor old DS1.

I dreampt I had a little baby boy last night and i was talking to hubbie about how much he looked like DS1 (he had the same freckles).... ahhh i like dreams like that but it's a bit shit when you wake up.

SWI has started on clomid month two. Boob watch to follow

Congratulations BB and Shandy, it's so nice to read such good news.

Sorry to hear though that things are tough with you both, BB and Gum where your partners are concerned. I've given up trying to understand how men's minds work. I remember when I was pregnant with my eldest, giving my ex-DH a birthday card on which I'd included a little 'happy birthday from bump' message. I was completely nonplussed when he got really annoyed with me, saying that it 'wasn't a real baby' yet and I shouldn't be adding things like that on his card. Very odd reaction which I still can't fathom, but they clearly do have very different ideas about things!

Curly your op recovery sounds a bit traumatic, hope things are feeling better now.

Wow gilly - what an odd thing for your ex to say. Men are from Mars that's for sure .

am bleeding , so it's all over for me. I'm going to bow out of this thread for a while, things are really shit at home, dh and I are no longer together, and I can't see that I will ever want to be back with him tbh. anyway, need to sort my life out before anything else. Good luck to you all. BB xx

BB I'm pming you.

Hippy the poor little chap. I'm so sorry he had that experience. It's one he'll be telling his first girlfriend in order to gain sympathy, but that's the only plus as far as I can see. It can only get better. I'm taking Italian's advice (thank you ) and dp and I are off to Marlow tonight. He needs some tlc and encouragement. Lou what questions do they ask? Going on - test us.

BB sorry (()) take care xxx
LOL stupid questions like" do you re use the needles after we ve taken their blood?"
When I ' d prescribed someone a week of antibiotics , " if I start them tomorrow do I still take a week of them???" urg... Yes!!! It's a week course irrelevant of when you start them!!!!
when you ask them " what time did you last wee?" they say " I bursting now!!!" or " when I got up this morning"!! Really??? Firstly; I wasn t with you this morning I din t know what time you got up!!! Secondly I don t care you re bursting I didn t ask you that!!!
" only African people and gays can get HIV right???" er NO !!!!
They drive us bloody potty at times!!! Sometimes it makes you laugh other times you despair!!!! Xxx

So sorry BB - I hope life improves for you very soon.

BB I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I really hope things will work out for you.

gillyglops No idea why men are so funny about pregnancy, but they are! A lot of them. No idea, if this will help but I found this site and post (very sad) and I felt one's person's comments were quite helpful - but I can't say I have read it all or agree with it all!

www.pregnancydepression.org/my-husband-does-not-understand-my-pregnancy-i-am-so-hurt.html

In response to a woman saying "... ever since I found out I was pregnant, he is not understanding and he says hurtful things to me, maybe its because he is stressed out,?

One responder said ? I think it sounds like he is scared. He?s happy your pregnant but at the same time there are so many big changes going on and everyone always says life changes after kids or my wife was never the same. Maybe he?s taking all these things he?s heard and it?s making him nervous. I would suggest you get him the book What to Expect When Your Wife?s Expanding and let him read that. My husband read it and loved it! It helps him understand what you are going through and why you are acting the way you are. There are some things when you are pregnant that you just can?t control and he needs to understand that it?s just hormones and it will go away. Another thing I would suggest is that he talk to someone. Your Dr. or his parents or someone who can help him understand what?s going on."

I guess any hubbies/dps who are not being sympathetic may already have many kids so should know that it does all work out, but maybe they just don't like being pushed from centre stage in our lives and do feel the pressure to provide for their kids - at least in most cases I know the man is the main 'bread winner' and that can feel a pressure at times!

My own hubby is a lovely man but he is quite insensitive at times and does not really understand how emotionally invested I am in all this fertility stuff and how central to my life it is!

My injections are hurting at the moment and to add to it at the moment I've just got an upset stomach and a lot on at work so feeling a bit crap but DD's behaviour has improved 10-fold and going back to school has all worked out well for her so I am very happy.

I am having a scan next week to see if I am down regulated and can move onto phase two or not. In the past our treatment has taken long than the usual 4 to 6 weeks, and has always been 9 weeks, so I will be really surprised if we are ready to go on to phase 2 already!

Oh Beattie that is just awful. I'm so sorry.

So very sorry Beattie. We're all here for you if you want a chat anytime, but understand if you don't.

I hope things improve for you soon. Big ((((((()))))))).

Sending love and hugs to BB. ((())) xxx

Oh BB I'm so sorry . I know you must be feeling awful but please pop back when you feel able and let us know how you're getting on xxx

Evening everyone! Sounds like everyone could do with a bit of cosseting. Bistro?s open for a special Sunday Roasts and Puddings evening. The slankets and blankies are out on the sofa and the fire?s getting going nicely.

Italian - sorry to hear the injections are hurting. Are you doing them in your stomach? Mine was black and blue by the end of the course!! I tried my thighs but that was awful. Good to hear DD?s behaving a bit better. You don?t need the stress at the mo. Re that Prayer ref, I think it was saying it doubled your chances, which seems amazing if it does.
Angel - no idea how you cope with your job. How are the cankles??!! Not long now....
BB - Hugs and stuff. It?s bad enough having to cope with a mc in itself, not to mention having to deal with (?ex) DH. The bastard! How are you doing?
Curly ? how are you recovering from your op?
Hippy - I am keeping FX for you that your dream is a good omen for you.
Tank ? lovely to hear from you. Glad to hear the baby-brain fog is lifting. I hope you will be
Hopeful ? how are you feeling? Has your hubby shown any sign of being more understanding?
Soothe ? lovely to hear your positive story. How are you getting on?
Shandy ? congrats on the BFP! How?s it going?
Lol - how was the dirty weekend in Marlow?
OMG, I am horrified by the level of f*wittedness going on amongst our men-folk and ex men-folk on here. I don?t know what to say.... They really are from Mars.

I am at the end of my first 2ww since the failed IVF. Was feeling optimistic earlier on this week, but I am showing clear signs of PMT so I guess AF will be putting in an appearance before long. We don?t have the cash for any more IVF for the time being but we might be able to pay for the frostie to be transferred before the end of the year. In the meantime, we?ll have to see if we work miracles and achieve a natural conception. Nice to see a bit of sunshine today. I planted some flowering autumn plants between showers and am settling down before X Factor. Thank goodness Red or Black is over. Couldn?t take the tension!! I made it into the top 500 online players but I think that?s the closest I?ll ever get to winning a million.
Right, I?ll have the roast chicken with all the trimmings, followed by sticky toffee pudding and vanilla ice cream. And a large bitter lemon please.
Hi to Shandy, Gilly, Tina, Diege, Panashe and everyone else.
xx

fireflies what a fab idea. I'm loving the whole roast dinner and slanket thing. roast lamb for me (sorry i know they are very cute but they taste so damn good) with mint jelly NOT mint sauce and for pud a lemon sponge and custard please. Pass me that slanket fireflies MMMmmmmm......

ps. Fireflies if your frostie were to work out - would you call him Tony????

Hippy I am sure fireflies will not get the Tony reference, but I will.

I've just had dinner so will just have a Liqueur Coffee, please.